shit that me (entp) and my intj friend said today
you have to xNTx women together who (very unfortunately) grew up in the conservative south.
how do you think that one went?
entp: thanks for picking me up
intj, driving: ah no problem, i like being in control anyway
intj: people want me to care about other people more than i do
intj: the only times i go back to my sorority are the nights where i’m out until 2am because i am being inducted into a secret society
entp: are you sure that you don’t want me to come in and scare the living shit out of them?
intj: i’m good, i really appreciate the offer though
entp: of course! tbh it’s more for my benefit than yours
intj complaining about sorority: like i’m sorry that i have a brain and goals and don’t like doing cocaine on the weekdays
entp who had been drinking water and almost choked: i’m sorry what?
entp: no wonder they’re so skinny
entp: you ever think about the fact that we’re simultaneously hyper judgmental but also accepting?
intj: yeah. like i don’t care what the hell you do, but i am going to judge you for it
intj: i purposely antagonize my hyper-conservative family just because i can
also intj: this is my flashlight that is also a bat. i bought it myself, best $30 i’ve ever spent
(it is literally a giant metal baton with a light on the end of it)
talking about relationships
because why the hell not just don’t worry about the fact that we hate people and potentially any kind of romantic intimacy
intj: yeah so i went to coffee with (kid we both knew from high school) and i had been putting it off because weird vibes
entp: ... was he into you
intj: yes. thankfully i had to go get a covid vaccine so i got out of there pretty quickly
entp: my guy friend once said that it seemed that i thought that everyone is into me. and like, yes, but no, but also they are.
intj: is this a parking spot? no? oh well, what are they gonna do give us a ticket?
entp: i’ll be real honest, we’re both conventionally attractive and charming enough to talk our way out of it anyway
attempting to buy coffee and the line is long
entp: do you just wanna order together and one of us can venmo?
intj who had just paid entp $8 for sushi: yeah sure
entp: wait am i just about to venmo you back your $8?
intj: i would prefer if you pay because venmo money is not real money to me
entp staring at the plastic rat on the dashboard: that’s scrat right?
intj: what? oh that’s chester. i think scrat was the squirrel from ice age
entp: i thought he was a rat?
intj: no i don’t think so.
we just solved everything
having decided to find a public bathroom
intj: we can grab coffee and i’ll get gas near there
intj pulling into gas station: actually let’s go to the cvs i don’t want to go into a gas station looking this *fine*
