#coffin henry

[ansatsu-sha]

Foul Ole Ron made a small living by following people until they gave him money not to.

He'd also got a dog, which added something to Foul Ole Ron's smell. It was a greyish-brown terrier with a torn ear and nasty patches of bare skin; it begged with an old hat in its remaining teeth, and since people will generally give to animals that which they'd withhold from humans it added considerably to the earning power of the group.

Coffin Henry, on the other hand, earned his money by not going anywhere. People organising important social occasions sent him anti-invitations and little presents of money to ensure he wouldn't turn up.

This was because, if they didn't, Henry had a habit of sidling ingratiatingly into the wedding party and inviting people to look at his remarkable collection of skin diseases. He also has a cough which sounded almost solid.

Terry Pratchett / Soul Music

[leona-florianova]

colored old sketch of the Canting Crew 

[discworldtour]

The snow began to settle gently on the River Ankh. “Still... Happy new Year, Arnold.” “Happy New Year, Duck Man. And your duck.” “What duck?” “Happy New Year, Henry.” “Happy New Year, Ron.” “Buggrem!” “And god bless us, every one,” said Arnold Sideways. The curtain of snow hid them from view. “Which god?” “Dunno. What’ve you got?” “Duck man?” “Yes, Henry?” “You know that stalled ox you mentioned?” “Yes, Henry?” “How come it’d stalled? Run out of grass, or something?” “Ah... it was more a figure of speech, Henry.” “Not an ox?” “Not exactly. What I meant was--” And then there was only the snow. After a while, it began to melt in the sun.

-- Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

[discworldtour]

They reached, by fits and starts, the back door of their favourite restaurant. The Duck Man looked at it dreamily, eyes filmy with recollection. “I used to dine here almost every night,” he said. “Why’d you stop?” said Coffin Henry. “I... I don’t really know,” said the Duck Man. “It’s... rather a blur, I’m afraid. Back in the days when I... think I was someone else. But still,” he said, patting Arnold’s head, “as they say, ‘Better a meal of old boots where friendship is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.’“

-- on the Duck Man | Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

[soldmysoultothewords]

“Coffin Henry, on the other hand, earned his money by not going anywhere. People organizing important social occasions sent him anti-invitations and little presents of money to ensure he wouldn’t turn up. This was because, if they didn’t, Henry had a habit of sidling ingratiatingly into the wedding party and inviting people to look at his remarkable collection of skin diseases.”

 - Soul Music, Terry Pratchett (pg. 298, Harper fiction edition)

[redthemarten]

10 days of Pratchett Day 9. What You Fancy - The Canting Crew

The beggars were not in fact this well versed in folkloric practice. They were just making a din in the well-founded hope that people would give them money to stop. It was just possible to make out consensus song in there somewhere.

"Hogswatch is coming, The pig is getting fat, Please put a dollar in the old man's hat If you ain't got a dollar a penny will do-"

"And if you ain't got a penny," Foul Ole Ron yodeled, solo, 'Then- fghfgh yffg mfmfmf..." The Duck man had, with great Presence of mind, clamped a hand over Ron's mouth.”

/Terry Pratchett, Hogfather/