Dear Captain Rogers,
You don't know me. My name is Alex Anderson. I'm not quite sure how I should word this, but I knew your friend. James Buchanan Barnes, but I'm guessing you knew him as Bucky too. I really sorry to have to tell you this in a letter, but I can't think of another way. And I want you to hear it from me.
Captain, please believe me when I say that I am so sorry. Bucky's dead. It's actually really difficult to write those words, but you need to know. He died a few weeks ago, and I'm sorry I didn't write to you sooner. I guess I had to sort myself out first. I'm still not sure how he died. I only know that HYDRA were involved. How could they not be? I think it was quick, and mostly painless, which I suppose is good.
I'm also writing this letter to tell you about him. I know that you'll have your own memories of Bucky, from before he was The Winter Soldier. But I want you to know about him after the Soldier faded. I don't really know how it happened, neither did Bucky, but the Soldier simply disappeared. Bucky could still remember everything he did, but he wasn't the Soldier anymore. I never knew that part of him. He could never remember his life before, either. He knew what happened, information on you and the Howling Commandos isn't difficult to find. But he couldn't remember it for himself, and I'm sorry about that too.
So, I wanted to tell you about him. The Bucky that I knew. It's quite difficult to keep the story short, but I'll try my best. I met Bucky when I was seventeen. I was walking home from school when I got mugged, and I got stabbed. The guy left me there, and Bucky just happened to find me. He didn't ask for an explanation or anything, he just picked me up and took me to the hospital. And he stayed. He didn't even know my name, but he stayed with me, and he was there when I woke up. He said he didn't want to leave me alone. And we kept talking after that.
We used to meet up a lot, go for a walk, have coffee or whatever, just go places we could talk. I trusted him more than I have trusted most people. After we'd been friends for about five or sixth months, I got into a big fight with my father. This wasn't uncommon, my family and I have never had a good relationship, but this was far worse than before. I had to leave the house, for my own safety really, and I didn't have anywhere to go. I wasn't really concentrating on where I was going, and I just sort of ended up at Bucky's apartment. And he helped me, calmed me down, comforted me. I stayed with him for a while, and he helped me find an apartment and a job. We started hanging out even more than before. The few friends I'd had before grew up, moved away, moved on, and so Bucky sort of became all I had. That sounded more pathetic than I meant it to, but it's true.
Then, not really all that long ago, I was going over to Bucky's for the evening, when I got there, the door was open, and I found him tied up on the floor. I managed to untie him, but this guy, a HYDRA agent walked in. He held me at gunpoint and basically wanted to take Bucky back. But Bucky managed to get between the agent and me. Unfortunately, I got shot in the process. Nowhere that serious, just in my leg, but Bucky freaked out. He carried me out of the building, but when we were outside he realised that he'd been stabbed. Talk about poetic.
I tried to make him leave me, seeing as he was much worse than me, but he wouldn't even consider it. He took me to a doctor's surgery, and wouldn't let them help him until they'd treated me. Next thing I heard, he'd passed out from the blood loss and was in hospital. I made them take me there, and I stayed with him until he'd woken up. We talked, talked properly, and I guess we kind of started a relationship then, but that's not really important.
I guess I'm telling you this because I want to show you that Bucky did not die as the Winter Soldier. He hadn't been that person for a long time. Captain Rogers, I hope you understand, I loved Bucky. I loved him more than I have ever loved anyone. I wanted you to know that he wasn't alone. We lived together for almost half a year, and that was the happiest time of my life. Bucky was the kindest person I ever knew, he was sweet and caring, and protective almost to an absurd point. I loved him so much, and I would give anything, absolutely anything in the world for him to come back.
I'm not even sure if you'll read this; I expect you get thousands of letters from people. But, if you do, I hope you'll believe me that Bucky was a good person. He and The Winter Soldier are two separate people, and he is not to blame for what the Soldier did.
Just in case you need to hear it from me in person, rather than in writing, I've included my address and my phone number. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Yours sincerely,
Alex Anderson
