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brothers, not enemies
My mother asked to see my art for the first time, mostly because someone else asked her about it. Which is annoying, but whatever. I needed to make a site for it that wasn't attached to the rest of me, so here is a very hastily thrown together portfolio site that some of you may have been pinged by earlier. Sorry!
All That’s Left To Escape The Jar (2022)
Question: What would you do differently if you were brave?
Answer: I would kiss her. I would kiss her. I would kiss her. I would kiss her. I would kiss her. I would kiss her. I would kiss her. I would kiss her. I would kiss her. I would kiss her. I would kiss her. I would kiss her. I would kiss her. I would kiss her. I would kiss her. I would kiss her. I would kiss her. I would kiss her. I would kiss her. I would kiss her. I would kiss-
“All of the tir e e’lintes are full of potential, always moving, always restless, always looking for possibilities to reach out and be somewhere else, be something else. This tree, that tree, that forest, that forest. But more than anything, we love the stars.” He cast his eyes up, as if he could see them during the day. “If only we could reach them, maybe we could be them. Any one of them could be our skin-house.”
–Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven King
All That's Left To Escape The Jar (2022)
KEEP WORKING (2022)
It is here! The first commission of the bunch! I started this during a hang out call a little bit ago while I was thinking about *gestures at everything*. I'd just, rather be worried about the people instead of the economy, you know?
This one goes out to @imthelobster, who has been incredibly supportive and who I'm SO EXCITED TO LIVE NEAR AGAIN, SOON.
There are ten commission slots left! Check out the details here!
Good afternoon! I am here to tell you that through a series of events your favorite oversharer got some collages published in a lit mag! It's Wrongdoing Magazine's inaugural issue and you can download a copy to read on their site. I had three collages published in all alongside some other really cool art and many, many pieces of fiction and poetry. I really feel like everyone will find something to like in there.
Additionally, I want to thank @dianahurlburt for bringing me to their attention. My collages, unlike my writing, are only ever made with myself in mind. I make them because there are some things I can't find words for, because sometimes I'm itchy and I don't know why, because change is both hard and inevitable and I need to give myself the space to accept that. I do share them, but I never really expect anyone else to truly enjoy them, and the idea that people do makes me a little verklempt.
Thanks to anyone who has ever looked at these small pieces of my heart and said 'yeah, that's nice.' It's hard to believe that I'm capable of capturing that sometimes, as the one person who knows all the dark and complicated parts of myself. But then, I guess everyone else has those craggy interiors too and sometimes it's just nice for someone to put a cloud on it and let it go.
Downpour (KL!, mixed media, 2021)
My therapist and I are working on melding the younger version of myself with the current version of myself to help us both heal from some trauma that is still hanging around and making my life difficult. (Why can’t I just be over it??? I ask exasperated. That was like, 22 years ago! Spoilers: that’s not how trauma works.)
She gave me a list of questions to answer so we could go over them and the one I’m having the hardest time with is ‘Do I owe the younger version of myself an amends?’ Why would I owe them an amends?? I sputter. I’m not the one who [redacted] and made them and me feel worthless and unstable and angry and alone!! I’m still working on it, but I suspect it has something to do with the lack of grace I give myself, even over situations and people I can’t control. If I was just stronger or more capable or less naive. If I hadn’t been afraid of my own voice. If I had developed an understanding of the future that could predict these outcomes. Maybe then I’d be safe still. Maybe then I’d be able to accept love.
Anyway, life is a long journey. Hopefully I’ll be on it for a good while yet. Hopefully, sooner rather than later, I’ll learn to connect.
