#collegemoment

[ticket-to-the-shit-show]

Quotes: College Roommate edition

Half of week 2: 

- “I’d let them bump and stomp me all they like”

- “I’d let young Tom Riddle touch me too”

-“Oh no, I pulled my hemorrhoid!”

- Cedric Diggory. More like Cedric dick in me”

- You don’t accidentally snort growl

- I won’t lie, homophobia has never tasted so good

- Rmate: freak in the streets and lady in the sheets

  Me: Gotta keep them on their feet sometimes

- Sorry professor, I can’t come to class. My roommate is attempting surgery on herself

- I love my roommate she lets me attempt surgery on her, Now, who want their appendix removed

- I’m a pussy. Will you cut my finger for me? Here’s a knife

- I want to give birth to the Kahoot soundtrack 

- Rmate: you’re suppose to swallow that

  Me: no???

  Rmate: You don’t swallow mouthwash?

  Me: No! It says don’t ingest and to call poison control if you do!

- Rmate: It’s always hard to swallow and it burns if you do

  Me: Cause you’re not suppose to!!!!

- When I was a kid I would spit mouthwash back into the bottle 

[ticket-to-the-shit-show]

Throwback to when I first joined my sorority and we had a bachelor night watch party. At the end of the night all of the active members left and came back with a fake rose for all of the new members and asked if we would accept this rose and become their sister.

Idk it was just really cute and I randomly found the roses and remembered.

[ticket-to-the-shit-show]

Quotes: College roommate edition

Week 2 pt 3:

- I look like a dog trying to throw up 

- Rmate: You look like a little demon

  B: You know what they say, you are what you eat”

- me: Don’t save him

   rmate: he’s pure of heart

  me: I’m not 

  rmate: I’m well aware of that

- Sharp like my dick. Stab it in me babee

- God he’s so hot. He could rail me with a truck and I’d say thank you

- I don’t do homeostasis, I do heterostasis

- poop tunes

- You make my diaphragm nervous

- That’s my spot. You can lay on the ceiling 

- In all times I am the alpha

- Walking is just like driving. You don’t want to hit people 

- I just called our air conditioning unit a cunt 

- Blow your nasty asbestos ass breath into my mouth 

- I want you to scream at me 

- Take my sacrifice

- It has been eaten by the gods

- Don’t mind me just putting meat into my pretzels

- Taco pretzels! I’m living in the future

- pants are for losers

- Fine!If you don’t want my sacrifice I’ll take it back 

- I rose out of bed like Jesus

- Don’t touch my feet or I will stab you in the fucking face

- McCream in me Lightning McQueen 

- Lightning McQueen is sucking Thomas the trains dick

- If a guy wore Lightning McQueen shorts I’d suck his schlong so fast

- I hope when I’m having sex the guy looks up to se pictures of Tom Holland and Tom Felton looking at him 

- If she had a pp it would be in his but right now 

- AHHH what happened to her pussy

[ticket-to-the-shit-show]

Quotes: College roommate edition

Week 1 (sans 1st night):

- “If the dick don’t give me a stroke I don’t want it”

- “We just gonna finger it”

- “Every family dinner plays WAP”

- Rmate: Do I have to go to the academic banquet?

  Me: You get invited based off of grades and GPA.

  Rmate: So no, got it. 

- Rmate: What’d your Hogwarts house? I’m Slytherin. 

   Bianca: I’m Ravenclaw

   Me: I’m Hufflepuff!

   Rmate: Oh, honey we know. You don’t have to tell us. 

- Your stuff in the room is yellow, your pillow says you are my sunshine, and your tattoo says my only sunshine. Everything about you and your stuff screams Hufflepuff how could I not know?

- This is literally church. Amen

- Me: That’s a cheap shot

  Rmate: You keep winning. Cheap shots are all I have 

- I should yell “did you apply ointment yet” while your sound is on during your zoom class

- Me: You look great for 42

  Rmate: Thanks, I moisturize 

- You have visitors you fucking die

- Our fridge works too well! It froze my carrots and pineapple!

- You kinda scare me. Like stories from your childhood. How are you alive?

[ticket-to-the-shit-show]

Quotes: College roommate edition

After being back on campus for the last 2 weeks I have gotten tons of quotes thanks to my roommate and my best friend. So have fun with this 

Day 1: 

- “Give me breakfast or give me death “

- Me: We just interrupted a girl having sex for movie night and she considered. 

   Rmate: Dick wasn’t that good 

- “We should write an apology note for interrupting sex. Should I include a condom taped on?”

- “I’ll ruin out friendship, let’s be roommates!”

- “Im one reason we don’t have friends and your 25% the reason we don’t have friends”

-”I like how you’re not helping me when you’re half the issue”

- “Ask the girl with short term memory loss to remind you of stuff why don’t you”

- “I’m asserting my dominance on everyone in this school”

- “I’m older than our R.A. I must assert my dominance and put my hammock higher than hers. I’m in charge now!”

[lorrlor44]

Food for Thought: Let's Think about it...

This semester I have joined a group called "Food for Thought" on campus. It is a group of vegetarians (mostly vegans) who meet up to discuss veganism and organize events to share foods and recipes. We meet every Monday and I love being a member of the group for two reasons: 1. I am now in college so I can join organizations that don't necessarily have the purpose of improving my resume. I can join whatever group because now I am looking to improve myself. 2. It is refreshing to be around people that are awesome and don't question me about my food choices.

We went to the group leader's house (another student at JMU) and ate delicious vegan foods: vegan pizza, pasta with avocado spread, salad, vegan chocolate chewy bars, and tons of multi-grain chips. It was all delicious and awkwardly spread through out the tiny kitchen. I kept thinking how this was such a college moment. Everyone chatting away, playing Cards of Humanity, eating awesome foods, and having a really great time. I really enjoyed the whole experience and can't wait for the next meet up.

The most delicious thing that we ate were these chocolate bars. They were super easy to make (required no cooking) and so healthy. It was basically raw coconut oil mixed with raw coco powder and some granola and bits of coconut. Needless to say it was all gone by the end of the night.

And the vegan pizza we ate was fantastic. They cooked it with tree nut cheese, whole grain bread, avocados, tomatoes, and tomato paste. It was out of this world... I can't wait to make some myself.

I learned a lot about veganism and how it affects the world around us and how it does not work for everyone. Like some people in the group still eat meat and dairy but very little. I think that by taking about vegan options and how it does in fact make our world a little better, we are moving in the right direction.

But they all spoke about how you have to listen to your body. If it is not working for you then you have to re evaluate your diet. Because even if total veganism helps to environment, it doesn't do much good if it is causing more harm than good to your body.