The idea of leaving is so terrifying that it sends chills down my spine. Not everyone we meet gets to be with us forever, still the thought of them being with us even for a moment makes an exceptional difference in our ordinary life.
Today was the last day of my first year in college and I was surprised by how overwhelmed I became towards the end of the day with the impression that I would not be able to get to sit in those classes ever. Honestly I didn’t like college. Not because it was bad to me but because it wasn’t exactly how I had wanted it to be. There were great people around me, filled with enthusiasm and creativity, carefree and smart, chilled and satisfied. But all this while I could not build a good rapport with my fellow mates because my expectations from myself did not coordinate with their expectations from me. I do not know who’s to be blamed for this, but neither of us wanted to be put in such a contradicting situation.
Nevertheless speaking of how talented and acceptable were my peeps, I was sure as hell I would never miss those lectures which I hated the most. Every single day I used to complain while going to college, hoping for the day when the year would finally end and I would not have to see my not so jolly lecturers ever again. I do not know what happened today but the thought of me never being able to sit in these classes, gaze stupidly at what they teach, comment on how pathetic they could turn out to be or simply see them calling out my registration number at the end of every lecture hour for the attendance got me to thinking if I really never wanted any of these to happen. For some moment, I thought may be all this wasn’t that bad and as much as I hate them, I am going to miss them all.
Sometimes we aren’t thankful for the things we are granted without asking for and we do not acknowledge our gratefulness gracefully. We fail to notice the changes that it has caused to us in shaping us for a better person. Maybe we all should take a moment out of our day and look back at what we have come through and appreciate ourselves enough to consider that we are just more than deserving and we all have emotions that may not float on the top but is buried deep inside, silently resting in a corner of our soul, which helps us in being a human when we have given up on pretty much everything.
