#colson baker angst

[daydreamingatnight209]

I’m not sure on how I feel about this one, but I’m posting it anways 😅🤞

Feedback is welcome - Hate is not ✨💕

“My Best Friend, My Girlfriend, My Everything”

Colson Baker x Female Reader

Warnings - Slight angst, fluffy ending 💕

Prompts used: Credit goes to all original owners -

1. "How drunk are you?" "V...Very." "Drunk enough not to remember tonight? "Hmm." "Good. I love you. And I'm tired of being just your best friend."

2. "He will never know that I like him." "Why?" "Because I'm just one of the million stars, and he's the moon.

3. I can’t believe it took me all these years to realise how I truly feel about you.

4. "Wow those bloodstained clothes really bring out your eyes... Of course I'm being sarcastic! Get over here and let me stitch you up!"

—————————————————————————

Most would think that traveling with an international superstar who also happened to be your lifelong best friend, would mean hitting the jackpot in life. But realistically after a month stuck surrounded by testosterone in such close quarters with a bunch of men who often act like overgrown toddlers , you can’t help but begin to feel like a glorified babysitter. You suppose it doesn’t help that you also happen to be ridiculously in love with said best friend.

After one particular show, you found yourself back on the tour bus while the others went out to celebrate another successful show.

Just because you were Colson’s friend, didn’t mean that you didn’t have your part to play. You liked to feel useful so you took up a part time role, sharing managerial duties with Ashley. This time you found yourself working with Sam to provide visual content for the fans and ensure that Colson’s schedule was running smoothly.

When the quietness you’d been experiencing over the last couple of hours suddenly ends, You couldn’t help but internally roll your eyes. climbing out of your bunk you go to see what all the commotion was about.

You enter the main sitting space and your mouth swings open in shock. In front of you Colson’s face was caked in blood and his clothes were stained with the same substance Rook was laughing hysterically at him and Slim had a smirk on his face, which he attempts to cover when he sees the look on your face.

“What in the actual hell happened here?!” You exclaim.

“Y/N helloooooo”

Colson rushes over to try and embrace you but you hold him at arms length, not wanting to get covered in his blood.

“Look at this, how cool does this look!” He says giddily, jumping around like an overgrown puppy, trying to show the jagged cut that seems to run down his forehead.

“Oh yeah really cool, those bloodstained clothes really bring out your eyes.”

Colson looks at you with glassy eyes and a slightly confused expression on his face and a pout on this face.

“Are you being sarcastic?”

“Yes, of course I am being sarcastic! Get in there and let me stitch you up!” You shout out in frustration and worry. You leave him alone for one night and this happens!

Grabbing his hand you force yourself and his tall frame into the tiny bathroom cubicle, with the first aid kit under the sink.

Colson collapses down onto the toilet seat as you begin to clean his face.

He winces softly as you clean around the wound and begin to apply the temporary stitches.

“How did this even happen anyways?” You ask him as he fiddles with the loose threads on your jumper.

“Rook said I couldn’t do parkour over a car, so obviously I had to prove him wrong” he mumbles, the amounts of alcohol he had consumed during the night finally catching up with him.

You couldn’t help but sport a small smile on your face, because of course it was something just so stupid.

Once you were satisfied with your work, you pack away the first aid kit and attempt to pull him up but Colson just pulls you down easily onto his lap and wraps his long arms around your frame.

“You are that best person I know Y/N. I’m so lucky to have you as my friend”

How drunk are you?" You whisper as you lean against his chest.

“V...Very."

"Drunk enough not to remember tonight?” You asked curious.

Normally Colson’s memory no matter what he drinks is top tier.

"Hmm yeah, probably” he answers, resting his head on your shoulder.

At that response and the fact that you didn’t want him falling asleep in the tiniest toilet possible you stand up and grab is hand once more. He doesn’t protest when you lead him to the back of the bus to where his bedroom is.

He throws his weight into the bed and watch him crawl under the covers.

“Night Kells” you whisper and go to exit the room to head back to your own bunk.

Before you can make it through the sliding door, your best friend speaks up, his voice raspy and slightly needy.

“Stay with me?”

You hesitate at first, not really knowing If you could handle being that close to him for the entire night. Your heart was already beating twice as fast as it should, but you aren’t really great at denying Colson. You never was. So when a cracked, “please” leaves his mouth, you cave and climb under the covers with him.

It doesn’t take long for sleep to claim him but the same doesn’t happen for you. You’ve lost count of how many times you and Colson have shared a bed over the years but where he sees friendship, recently you’ve been struggling to stop the lines from blurring.

Colson wraps you up in his arms subconsciously, like he’s done so many times before, yet this time you find yourself frozen as you stare softy at his peaceful sleeping face.

“I love you Colson Baker. I love you and I'm tired of being just your best friend."

A tear escapes your eye, letting it fall, you wait for what feels forever for sleep to fall over you.

———————————————————

The next morning you are up and out of Colson’s room before he awakens and do your best to avoid him and any awkward conversations that the day might entail. You weren’t exactly to ready to find out if he remembered his night.

No one really picks up on your behaviour and you think you made it through the day perfectly, before Ashley corners you backstage at soundcheck.

“You like him don’t you? In fact it’s more than that … you are in love with him”

Knowing that you can’t hide the truth from your friend, you look her in the eye and give her a sad smile.

“He can never know that I like him."

"Why?" Ash questions you.

"Because I'm just one of million stars, and he's the moon, he deserves so much better that me”

You slightly cruse the tears that begin falling once more and do your best to wipe them without ruining your make up.

Ash gives you a soft smile and shakes her head.

“I’ve seen the say that boy looks at you. You may think he’s the moon but he looks at you like you’re the one holding his entire world. Last night should have been enough evidence! It was you he wanted to patch him up, it was you he wanted attention from and it you he wanted to hold. It’s always you. It’s not about what you can give him or what he can give you, it’s simply about the love that you share and the happiness you provide each other. He doesn’t want to be Mr international superstar with you. He just wants to be Colson, your Colson.”

After her little speech, Ashley leaves you alone as you try and process her words. But you weren’t alone for long as a voice behind you startles you.

“She’s right you know.”

You gasp and turn to fave the voice you knew all too well.

“Colson! What the hell?!”

“She’s right” he repeats.

“Right about what exactly?”

“You might think I’m the moon, but you are my whole world. You are more than just a star, so, so much more.”

“Colson…” you close your eyes, unsure on if you want to have this conversation, but realistically you knew there was no escape.

Colson stalks forward, invading your personal space and holds your chin in his fingers so that you are holding direct eye contact with each other.

“I heard you last night… your confession. I wasn’t really asleep and frankly I’m surprised I remembered this morning. In all honesty i was going to pretend until you felt ready to have the conversation but after hearing what you said to Ashley, well I couldn’t pretend anymore. I can’t believe it took me all these years to realise how I truly feel about you. I can’t believe it took stupid dare inflicted injury and a single moment in a tour bus bathroom for everything to fall into place”

With shaky hands, your fingers touched the small wound on his head and caressed it lightly.

Not trusting your voice, you whisper out a quick response, “I’m so happy it did”.

Colson takes that as cue to plant a kiss on you, a moment you felt as if you could live in forever, before he pulls away to look at you.

“I’ll love, protect and cherish you, forever. My best friend, my girlfriend, my everything.”

[i-think-i-did-it-again]

Drunk II

Author's note: Ok, I actually had this chapter going a completely different way but kind of got caught up in the vibes so let me know what you think! Warning: swearing, bit of smut, angst, douchebag ex

You take a deep breath as you stare at your reflection in the mirror. You hate that when you look at yourself, all you see is flaws. Your skin isn’t good enough, your nose isn’t thin enough, your lips aren’t big enough, your body shape is wrong, your eyes are pretty enough. Sometimes when you look at your reflection, all you want to do is cry. You grimace and look away in disgust. You know why you feel this way. You never thought about any of those things until your ex pointed them out, subtly over your 2 year relationship. He never made you feel beautiful, not once. 

You sink down on the couch and stare at the news playing in the background. You’re not really taking anything in, you’re just watching the screen shift between stories and reporters. The bathroom door opens and your heart skips a literal beat. You hold your breath and refuse to release it until you hear his bedroom door open. You feel bad that you snuck out in the early hours of the morning but you were so mortified by what happened, that you couldn’t face Colson right away. You can’t deny it was the best sex of your life but you were drunk and he’s your roommate for fuck sake. Not only that but you were so shamed by the fact that he saw you naked, flaws and all is just too much for you to handle at this very delicate stage of single life.

You haven’t been with anyone since your ex and the two of you broke up over 6 months ago. You try and convince yourself that it’s because you ‘want to focus on you’ for a little while but the truth is, you met your ex in college, you were friends for a while until eventually you fell into something else and somehow became a couple. You left college, got jobs, moved in together and then everything kind of imploded when you woke up one day and realised you were miserable and he was glad you felt that way. Any time you showed any ounce of confidence or self-esteem, he squished it down with a criticism or a look that said ‘really? Are you sure you want to act like that?’.

“I think we should talk,” Colson murmurs, stepping into the living room and pulling you from your thoughts.

He’s dressed casually in a pair of dark grey sweats and a black t-shirt but fuck is he sex on legs. His hair is damp and dishevelled and his cheeks are tinged red from the steam of his shower. You clear your throat and turn away from him quickly, hoping he didn’t catch you staring.

“Look, I don’t want this to be awkward or anything,” you mumble and get to your feet quickly as he sits on the sofa beside you. “What happened, happened and I just don’t think we need to make the situation any worse by analysing it to death.”

“Do I make you uncomfortable, beautiful?” he stands and is in front of you in a second. The air is literally sucked out around you and you could cut the tension in the room with a knife.

“I-I didn’t um…say that.” you want to create distance between the two of you but just like last night, you can’t seem to bring yourself to move away from him. “I just don’t want you to think that I’m one of those needy girls who needs some form of validation after a one night stand.”

“Who said it was just going to be one night?” he smirks at you and your insides do that strange quiver again.

Before you can respond, Colson has your face between his large hands and is kissing you with so much force, you completely lose your train of thought. You know you should protest, your mind is screaming at you to protest but your body has a mind of its own entirely. You grip the back of his neck and pull him impossibly closer to you, inviting his tongue into your mouth with pleasure. He responds by wrapping his arms around your waist and picking you up off the ground. You entwine your legs around his body and he lowers you onto the sofa, pressing his body against yours. You’re grinding, panting and moaning in unison with each other. Colson slips his hand under your shirt to grab your breast and you lean your chest up into it, allowing him to massage it. Just as you're about to rip his t-shirt from his body, a loud knock at your front door interrupts you. Colson groans and pulls himself away from you, taking a few deep breaths.

“Worst fucking timing in the world,” he mumbles under his breath as he stands to open the door. 

You see him adjust his junk as he walks to the front door and he looks back to smirk at you. You giggle and turn away from him to compose yourself. You hear the front door open and the sound of angered voices fills the front hall. You’re confused by Colson’s reaction until you hear the stranger more clearly. Your blood runs cold as you recognise your ex’s voice, trying to patronise Colson like he always does. The two of them never got along and you always put it down to them being so different but after your breakup you realised, it’s because your ex is an asshole. You storm down the hallway to give him a piece of your mind but Colson seems to be handling him well. Part of you feels that stepping in would be pointless but you’ve had a lot of time to think of what you’d say to him if you ever got the chance and fuck it now seems like a good time.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” you push past Colson to get in your ex’s face and the look of surprise on it is kind of priceless.

“Don’t talk to me like that,” he scolds you in a firm tone but then looks over your shoulder at Colson’s venomous stare and he backs up a little. “A lady shouldn’t swear,” he tries to backtrack.

Normally, that tone of voice would make you back down immediately but you can feel this new confidence flowing through you as you stare at him. It’s possible you may still be drunk from the night before but you have this weird feeling of power all of a sudden. He doesn’t seem as intimidating as he appeared when you dated. Suddenly you can see his flaws and the attraction you once held for him is gone. His hair is receding, his body doesn’t look as appealing as it used. He no longer appears tall, strong and handsome and it’s as if a spell has been broken. You find yourself comparing him to Colson and suddenly, he comes up short in every department that matters and even some that don’t. You can’t stop your eyes from diverting to Colson’s crutch and you play it off as staring at the wall.

“Why are you here?” you ask nonchalantly, crossing your arms over your chest with annoyance.

“What has gotten into you?” he asks, completely dumbfounded and you can’t seem to stop the laugh that escapes your lips. 

You slap your hand over your mouth to keep the laugh from turning into a full on fit of giggles. Colson immediately realises where your mind has gone to and is grinning from ear to ear beside you, clearly not trying to hide his pride from your ex. Your ex looks between the two of you, his jaw practically on the floor. 

“Y-you,” he points to you. “A-and you?” and he points to Colson. Neither of you say anything but your smiles and silence answers the question for you. “What the fuck!?” he booms and you instinctively flinch away from him. Colson pulls you back from the door and closer to his side and that only angers him more. “How long has this been going on? Were you fucking him while we were together?! Oh I always knew you were a slut. So insecure about your looks and your subpar intelligence that you had to use your average looking body to get the attention you so desperately crave!”

Colson pushes you behind him and gets as close to your ex’s face as he possibly can, looking as menacing as possible. You can tell by the rigid posture of his shoulders and his shallowing breathing that he’s trying so hard to control his reaction around you. You’re pretty sure if you weren’t there, he would’ve knocked your ex on his ass. He’s a good head taller than your ex and has definitely been in enough physical fights that he can hold his own, more than you could say for your ex. The guy is scared of everything but weak willed women.

“I suggest you stop fucking talking right now and walk away before I make you, got it?” Colson spits at him, taking a step back to create some distance between the two of them.

“Fine but just you wait. She’ll get bored of you too and she’ll dump you just like she did to me,” he points at you, his eyes dark with resentment. 

“I’m pretty sure after what he did to me in bed last night, I’ll never be bored of him,” and with that you slam the door in his dumbfounded face.

You stand there for a few seconds trying to take in what just happened. As your ex’s words hit you, playing in your mind, an overwhelming feeling takes over you and you burst into tears. Colson says nothing, instead enveloping you in a hug so tightly it feels like he’s trying to hold you together as you fall apart in his arms. You hate that seeing your ex still causes you to react this way. No matter how powerful or confident you feel, he always finds a way to tear you down and make you feel like that scared college girl you used to be. He somehow makes you forget that you’re a grown woman. 

Maybe your ex is right though? Why would someone like Colson want to be with someone like you? You’re not really an interesting person. Last night was the first time you’ve gone out and stayed out past 10pm in a long time. You don’t have tattoos or crazy coloured hair like most of the women he brings home. You’re not adventurous. Hell, last night was the first time a man has ever made you orgasm during sex.

“I-I’m s-sorry. I can’t do this,” you pull away from Colson and turn to walk away from him, just wanting to be alone.

“No, don’t do this,” he begs you, grabbing your wrist and trying to pull you back to him but you resist.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you reply flatly.

“Don’t let that fuckwit ruin this,” he gestures back and forth between you. “I can see it. He got into your head, he’s making you doubt this. Don’t give him that power, he doesn’t deserve it!”

“I’m sorry,” is all you can say and you go to your bedroom, closing and locking the door behind you.

Colson jimmies the door handle a couple of times, banging on the wood begging for you to let him in but you ignore him. Eventually the banging stops and you lay on your bed, holding your pillow and staring at the wall. You scold yourself for being so stupid as to think that last night could magically fix everything that is wrong with you. 

‘Naive fool’ your self-conscious scolds you and you nod your head in agreement.

[hollywoodxwhore]

Ours | Chapter 18

Colson x Presley (Original Female Character)

Synopsis: Presley and Colson fell in love accidentally, but they were meant to be. Now that all the obstacles have been removed, they're moving in together in LA. Now, they have all the time in the world for Colson to teach Presley all of the things he knows. This fic is the sequel to Mine, which can be found in my masterlist!

Warnings/Content: A little more angst but it's wrapping up I promise, mentions of suicide, mentions of panic attacks, mentions of not eating due to mental health issues, smut (18+), oral sex (f receiving), desperate sex, col coming in his pants, swearing, squirting, fluffy sweet aftercare

This is the final chapter of Ours (excluding the epilogue but it's super short) and I'm so grateful for everyone's love and feedback for this series. If you don't already know, there will be a third part and I'm so excited to write it. I hope you all love it!

Presley

I can’t believe I lost it that badly. 

I sleep for hours on Colson’s chest. When I wake up, he’s asleep, too, and I study his face, memorizing his features over and over again. The tightness in my chest is not normal. This is not just depression or anxiety. This is something deeper, and that really scares me. 

I wish like hell that it was easy to move past it, but how am I ever supposed to let go of the fact that if I hadn’t left Colson, he would never have put the wheels in motion to kill himself? How can he say it isn’t my fault – how can anyone say that? I know they’d all blame me if Colson had gone through with it. I can see it now – everyone trying to be sensitive at the funeral, but someone would lose it, point their finger at me, and say, “She’s the reason he killed himself!” 

God, I don’t want to have another panic attack. I’m already so weak and exhausted from the first one. My entire body hurts, my head throbbing. I haven’t eaten anything today, nor have I had any water, and I feel like almost every physical need anyone could have is plaguing me right now. 

But I can’t let go of my husband.

My mouth is so dry that I can barely breathe. My stomach twists with nausea, an ironic reaction to hunger, and my bladder is so full that it hurts. But despite all this, despite knowing my water bottle is right there on the table, that a toilet is right around the corner, I can’t get off of Colson. Jesus. Am I going to piss myself lying here because I’m so attached? Get it together, I say to myself, and even though it makes my blood pressure hike, I extricate myself from Colson’s arms. 

After emptying my bladder, I chug down half of my water bottle before taking a breath, and then I drink the rest of it. Colson starts to stir as I drink. He blinks his eyes open and then looks down at himself, eyes widening a little with worry when he doesn’t see me. He snaps his head over and relaxes as soon as he sees me. “Hey,” he rasps sleepily. 

“Hey,” I say, voice small. 

“Did you get some sleep?” he asks. He looks so endearing and adorable right now, his bleached hair all fluffy from sleep, his long eyelashes shadowing tired eyes. 

I nod. “Yeah. I’m starving, though,” I admit.

Guilt crosses Colson’s features for a millisecond. “You haven’t been eating,” he remarks, almost as if he’s just now realizing it himself. With that, he hops off the couch and lifts me into his arms. I can’t help but smile a little, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck like a koala bear. 

Colson sets me on the countertop and pecks my lips softly before turning to open the fridge. “What sounds good?” 

I’m weirdly relaxed, despite what happened earlier. I’m not hiding anything from Colson anymore, and that in and of itself is a relief. “Anything,” I say.

Colson nods. “Got it.” 

Colson makes me crispy chicken cutlets, a salad, and garlic mashed potatoes. I’m shocked by how much I’m actually able to eat – two full plates. The food is incredible and I feel so much better after eating. We eat on the floor in the living room with a candle lit, passing a joint back and forth. We talk about everything but the bad shit, and before I know it, Col has me laughing and smiling. For the first time in forever, it finally feels like us again. Our journey is far from over, but what I do know is that I don’t have to do it alone. 

The next day, I sleep in. I wake up to the sound of Colson’s voice. He’s on the phone, clearly trying to be quiet, but I know he’s still in our bedroom because he didn’t want to leave me. 

“Thank you. Alright, bye,” he says, ending the phone call. He glances over at me and when he sees I’m awake, he comes over and crawls back into bed. “Hi, love,” he murmurs, wrapping around me.

“Hey,” I say, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. “Who was that?”

“My psychiatrist,” he says. “We’re going to go see her today and get you some help, okay?” His voice is gentle and so kind, and even though it's a little scary, I relax. 

“You’ll be with me, right?” I ask.

Colson nods, nuzzling into my shoulder. “Of course. I’m not going anywhere.”

We’re quiet for a moment and then I roll over in his arms and look up at him. He wears nothing but a pair of boxer briefs that hug his butt perfectly. I haven’t felt desire since the first day he came home, but all at once, it rushes in so intensely that I feel a little dizzy with it. Using my legs, I pull his thigh between mine. Colson arches a brow but lets me pull him closer.

“Baby?” he questions. He doesn’t need to, though. He knows me well enough to know exactly what I want. His throat bobs as he swallows. “Are you sure?”

I nod, suddenly feeling absolutely desperate for him. “I miss you,” I say quietly. “Just want to be close to you.”

“Don’t do it because you think it’s what I want,” he murmurs, tucking my hair behind my ear. “Just holding you is enough for me.”

Boldly, I slip my hand between our bodies and grip his cock, already hardening in his boxers. I arch a brow, smirking just a little. His words definitely don’t match his body’s reaction. “Well, it’s not enough for me,” I say, and with that, my husband’s eyes darken. I can see the moment when he gives in. 

“Then get on your back,” he says. I do as I’m told and Colson instantly disappears beneath the blankets. I let out a shaky breath in anticipation of what’s coming. Colson slips between my thighs, big hands lifting each one over his shoulder at a time. I fell asleep in a big t-shirt of his and no panties, and when he notices, the breath he lets out is so warm it makes me shiver.

I lift the blankets to look down at him and his eyes lock on mine, his pupils so wide the iris is almost invisible. He brings his gaze to my pussy and bites his lip as he studies me. When his thumb lightly brushes over my clit, my hips twitch and Colson chuckles low. “Sensitive,” he murmurs, and then he presses a kiss to the crease between my thigh and my pussy. I hold a whimper in my throat as my legs start to tremble with anticipation. Just having him between my legs has me so aroused that I’m sure I’m already wet.

Colson presses a tender kiss to my clit, sweet and loving, and the gesture makes my breath catch in my throat. His eyelashes flutter as his eyes close, and the next kiss is open-mouthed and wet and hot, as are the ones that follow. Just his kisses can undo me, can make me so wet that it ruins my panties, and when he kisses between my legs, it heightens the experience tenfold. Sparks fly, electricity zinging through my body at the sensations his talented mouth can bring.

When my husband moans with my pussy in his mouth, my spine arches off the bed and my hands fist the sheets, effectively dropping the blanket. I can't see him anymore so I scramble to push the comforter out of the way. The morning sunlight peeks around the curtains, illuminating his white-blonde hair and eyelashes. He is a devil that looks like an angel when he takes care of me and I don’t think I’ll ever get over the way he affects me.

I gasp when Colson’s hands brace beneath my thighs and shove them up, lifting my lower half off the bed. His dark eyes lock on mine as he moves his tongue lower, swiping over everything before returning to my clit. I tense up, a little surprised. We’ve of course had anal, but he’s never had his mouth anywhere near my ass. I never saw the appeal; why do that when I have a much more sensitive clit right there? But it’s so erotic and almost…forbidden and it takes my breath away. Colson repeats his motions, moaning against me before his tongue lands on my clit and twists around it in circles.

“H-holy fuck,” I choke out, shoulders lifting off the bed in response to the pleasure. My stomach is rock hard with tension, so hard that I’m starting to tremble. Colson can’t stop moaning against my pussy and the vibrations are making me see stars. The room heats and my vision starts to flutter around the edges. I’m practically hyperventilating as he has his way with me, showing me just how perfectly he can use his mouth.

Half of me wants to beg him to put his fingers inside me, but I’m curious to see if he can actually get me to come without putting anything inside of me. If he can do it with just his mouth. As his plush lips close around my swollen clit and suck as his tongue continues to work, my stomach starts to knot up, telling me that, yes, my husband can make me come with just his mouth.

“Cols,” I practically wheeze, grabbing a handful of his hair. “Holy shit, baby, ‘mgonna come.” My words slur together; I’m drunk with pleasure as my pussy starts to clench around nothing. My heart races and I let my head fall onto the pillow as tingles creep up my spine and my stomach ties itself in such a tight knot that it almost hurts. And then, the knot explodes in my belly as I let it all go.

My body moves erratically beneath his mouth, even as his hands hold my hips down. I sob at the pleasure, hips twitching upwards as my clit throbs on his tongue. I’m just starting to come down when Colson comes up, slotting himself between my legs. He presses his clothed cock to my aching clit and grinds forward. I look up at his face and notice how tightly his brow is knitted together. His lips are parted as he pants and the way he ruts against me is so familiar that I reach down and grab his ass to help work him towards his own rapture.

“Fuckfuckfuuuuuck,” he chokes out. “Baby–” I watch his face, reveling in his unabashed pleasure as he comes from nothing other than giving me head and a little bit of grinding. It will never not shock me how I, some girl who was a virgin less than a year ago, can get Machine Gun Kelly, a well-known sex god, to come in his pants. And I love every fucking second of it.

Colson relaxes on top of me, our hearts fluttering against each other, and then he lifts his head to kiss me hard, so hard that my pussy already aches for him again. “I’m not done, I promise,” he breathes. “Just couldn’t help it. Your taste, your sounds, fuck.” His words melt into a moan. “Love you so fuckin’ much.”

“Get on your back,” I say, touching his cheek. Colson’s eyes sparkle. He loves when I ride him and I love it just as much, but I’ve got something else in store for him. I’ve been doing my research, or at least I was before everything went to shit. There’s something I’ve been wanting to try forever and now I finally have that chance.

I drop my shirt to the floor and help him out of his boxer briefs, and for a second, I’m tempted to slip my hand into his boxers, to feel what I did to him. Jesus, Colson has made me filthy. I drop the soiled boxers onto the floor and climb over top of him. There’s still cum on his tip and smeared slightly on his belly, and my eyes darken. I can’t help myself, moving down his body to lick up the leftover spend from his skin. Colson shudders and moans and his cock twitches, already hard again. 

He reaches for me and I come up, but then I turn around. “Holy fuck,” Colson says when he realizes what I’m doing. I smirk as I crawl over his body and position his cock at my entrance. It’s a little difficult to situate at first; I’m so used to the way he fits perfectly when I’m riding him the other way. Reverse cowgirl is more difficult than it looks but I’ll do it for Col. 

With his help, I finally sink down on him, and while it isn’t the most comfortable position for me, I don’t care. Because Colson’s hands have a bruising grip on my hips and he’s already moaning shamelessly behind me. I tip my head back, letting my long hair graze his chest, and he grips onto it, tugging. I moan at the slight roughness and try to move, but it’s tough, until Colson bends his knees, giving me his thighs to use for leverage. 

When I start to grind back and forth, Colson curses loudly. “Th-that’s it, baby, h-holy fuck,” he says shakily. “So good, Pres. so fucking – oh shit – perfect.” 

I love how powerful I feel, unwinding my man the way I am. “Colson,” I moan as pleasure starts to creep in. I won’t be able to come like this, but that’s okay. 

After a few minutes, Colson slows my motions, and I look back at him over my shoulder. He grins at me. “As much as I love this, I want to see your face,” he confesses, and I melt a little as I lift myself off of him and turn around. But instead of letting me ride him, Colson flips our bodies over and settles his weight onto me. With a slow grind of his hips, his cock slides back inside of me until it’s home. His hands slide beneath my ass and squeeze, pulling me closer to him, and with his eyes on mine, he starts fucking me hard.

Pleasure rushes in so fast that I can’t stop the moans bubbling out of me. I can feel myself getting wetter around him as he pounds into me, our skin slapping together. “Colson,” I whimper. “Fuck, baby–”

“Yeah,” Colson grits out, squeezing my ass even harder. “Fuck, I love you. So good to me.” He presses kisses along my collarbone and over my shoulder. My eyes are practically crossed at this point, the pleasure so overwhelming in the best way.

“H-harder,” I manage to choke out, because I know he can go harder. He lets go of my ass and lifts up a little, planting his hands beside my head. He brings his legs up and bends them, sliding them beneath my thighs, and then he starts to fuck me at lightning speed. “Oh god,” I wail, digging my nails into his shoulders as he absolutely pounds into me. I’m going to feel this later and I love every second. 

He keeps up his rapid pace but manages to get a hand between us to play with my clit, and that’s what sends me over the edge. A scream rips from my throat as I come so hard that I swear to god I black out for a second. It’s the best orgasm I’ve had in a long time, and Colson always makes me come hard. With that, Colson flips me over, lifts my hips, and slams back inside me. I scream again, squirting all over his cock and thighs, and Colson growls, “Fuck yes.”

I’m practically drooling on the bed at this point, Colson's hands being the only things keeping my hips up. “I’m close,” he manages. “Fuck, Presley, oh my god–” He thrusts four more times, slamming his hips against my ass, and then he seizes up with a gasp as he buries himself as deep as he can possibly go, painting my insides white. His orgasm triggers one more of my own, and that’s it – my legs give out and I splay on the bed helplessly, unashamedly. 

Colson stays flush against me for a few moments as we both come down, breathing hard and sweating. “Christ. That was fucking amazing,” he says, voice gravelly as he kisses my shoulder.

“Yes it was,” I croak, my walls still fluttering around him. When he pulls out, I can’t help but whine, and instantly, his cum trickles out of me. I shiver at the feeling and Colson moans, sitting back on his heels to watch it happen. He drags two fingers over my pussy and I hiss in overstimulation. 

“Sorry,” he rasps, pulling his hand back. “Shower?”

“Shower,” I say weakly, reaching for him. 

In the shower, Colson is pure love and care and safety. He hums while he washes every inch of my body with loving, gentle touches, and I let him. He washes himself quickly and steps out of the shower first, holding up a warm towel for me. He wraps me up in it and hugs me tightly, pressing a long kiss to the top of my head. He takes his time drying me off, too, looking up at me with love in his eyes. I let myself be cared for; we both know I need it right now. 

When we’re both dry, Colson scoops me up and carries me back to bed. “Your appointment is in about an hour and a half,” he says. “Will you get dressed while I make you something to eat?”

I hesitate. I’m scared of him leaving the room, leaving me alone. His expression softens and he thumbs my cheek. “Let’s both get dressed and go to the kitchen together,” he says. I nod gratefully. I’m sitting on the bed and he’s standing, but I reach for him. He hugs me, wrapping long arms around my body, and I slide mine around his neck, holding him close. “I love you, Presley,” he murmurs. 

“I love you too, Colson,” I mumble against his neck, closing my eyes. After a few moments, I let him go and he smiles softly at me. We both get dressed and head to the kitchen where Colson lifts me onto the countertop and presses a kiss to my nose. I can’t help but giggle and he winks at me as he turns to the fridge for food.

As my husband makes us breakfast, I feel a wave of calmness wash through me. Everything is going to be okay. Colson is going to make sure of that.

Taglist: @triplexdoublex@jaxbreaker@mgklove99xx@jinx-on-mars-19xx@iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker@anonymousme86@whiteleoqueen@feroniakutenpuu@hxllywoodwhxree

[machine-gun-casie]

why are you here (rewritten)

a/n: this is this fic rewritten. felt like i could do it a bit better. tell me what you think?

wc: 1k

when colson walked into the party, he immediately saw you. like autofocus on a camera. his eyes were drawn to you. possibly as a result of spending so much time memorizing your body. the magnetic pull you had affected him in ways he tried not to think too hard on. and yet he did. 

and he hated it. 

why are you here? why couldn’t he have just not seen you? he hated seeing you with a friend of his at a party you weren’t supposed to be at.

but who was he to really say anything? he was with another person when he told you he was staying home.

you smirked and winked at him when he caught your eye, like it was nothing. like the fact that he caught you with someone else was nothing. maybe it was exactly that to you. nothing. or maybe it was so because he was in the same position. caught in a lie with someone he wasn’t supposed to be with at a place he promised he wouldn’t be.

he never understood the way your brain worked. you were an angel. an angel from hell. so free, beautiful, careless, and absolutely ruthless. what you did would never get anyone into heaven. and the unspeakable things you did to him could make you a god yourself.

colson didn’t understand much about you. so when you brushed past him, whispering a soft ‘see you in five minutes’ against the shell of his ear, he was taken aback by both your lack of cowardice (in such a place, with the company you both had) and your predictability. 

a quick glance at the clock proved what he already knew. midnight exactly. you had a flair for the dramatic. he counted each and every one of those three hundred seconds, knowing you were waiting with a smirk at the thought of him doing so. were you both so predictable or did the time you spent together truly affect you more than either of you wanted to admit?

he walked into the unlocked room without knocking at five past twelve, revealing you making designs of little lines on the counter. you were still an angel in his mind. he wasn’t himself when he was around you. thinking of girls as angels weren’t common thoughts his brain would have floating around. 

maybe that’s what kept bringing you two together. the obvious contrast. you, his angel. and him, your demon. 

colson took no time in bending you over the hard surface after you looked up at him with a smile. watching your face in the mirror the entire time as he made quick work of both his pants and yours.

his fingers instinctively went to the light switch, always meeting you in the dark was something he was used to. you didn’t want any mirrors capturing you in the act lest they tell. you were each other’s hidden sin (from who? colson wondered. no one truly cared in this city of soulless angels. possibly from yourselves).

“keep 'em on.”

oh. 

something in the way you said those words, in the way you looked at him as you did so, told him that this was the last time. the last meeting of angel from hell and demon on earth.

hands lingered in places they never dared to before, lips brushed along skin they never had. your bodies knew it too. even as the mirror in front of you fogged up, you could tell it knew it too. for it had never seen you like this and it never will again. every touch, every intake of breath, every flutter of lashes. all seared into your minds.

when you were done, colson helped you right your clothes while you sat on the counter. he chuckled and wiped his thumb on your nose. “you got something there.”

“thanks.” you smiled devilishly. angelically. both and yet neither. the smile hit colson in the stomach, making him feel sick to his core. he remembered his friend outside, the one who came with you hanging off his arm and your giggle lacing his ears.

“i need a hit.” he whispered. to himself? to you? to the mirror? he didn’t know. but nevertheless, you pulled out a joint from your pocket and pointed it at him.

“lighter?” 

he pulled his out of his pocket and lit the joint still between your fingers. you took a hit and pulled him closer to you, connecting your lips with his and releasing the smoke into his welcoming lungs.

you pulled away, same devilishly angelic smile on your lips, and handed him the lit joint. “here.”

a parting gift. that’s how he chose to take it. his mind whispered thoughts of ‘a gift of pity’, but he blew them away with the next puff of smoke.

he saw you raise an eyebrow at him, and he knew what you wanted him to say. he swore he could read your mind (was it the weed or you?), knowing you were thinking about the failed alibis. 

“yeah, i know that i said i was at home, you caught me.” he rolled his eyes and smirked. “but i thought that you said you were alone, look at you lying.”

“mm, you sound proud.” you hummed. “you underestimate me, pretty boy.” 

there was a moment of silence before he spoke again. 

“we can never be friends.” colson said quietly. matter of factually. almost solemnly. absolutely pitifully.

nothing was said at first. he understood it as you agreeing with him. 

then you laughed. you laughed and patted him on the chest. “who said anything about friends?”

you hopped off the counter and looked at yourself in the mirror, smoothing down your hair and righting your appearance. he couldn’t help but wince when he realized you were probably doing that for the friend of his you came with. the one that was probably looking for you now. entranced by that giggle.

you opened the door and walked out, leaving him all alone. but not before you gave him your parting words. 

“bye, pretty boy.”

[hangovercurse]

Home Sweet Home

You bring Colson to your hometown for the first time.

Request: “Can you write a Colson imagine where you take him back to your hometown to meet your family and friends and he’s nervous everyone will hate him but everyone ends up loving him? And maybe include a run in with some girls from high school that are jealous 🤔🤷🏻‍♀️”

Colson Baker x Reader

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: I try to be as inclusive as possible in my fics but its hard when writing about families in this capacity, so I just went with the most generic family model possible. Also, my family is very unusual so I don’t really know how families interact… oop

Word Count: 2979

“Will you stop freaking out, you’re making me nervous.” You placed a soft hand on the shaking leg of your boyfriend. “And they’re my family.”

He let out a sigh, the shaking stopping momentarily as he pulled you as close to him as possible in the back of your Uber. “What if your parents hate me?”  

Taking a deep breath, you assured him again, “my parents are not going to hate you. We’ve been over this; they’re going to love you.”

“Your dad is going to take one look at me and punch me in the face.” Colson said, a pout on his face.

You let out a chuckle, “he is not. And even if he does, you can take a punch.”

Despite your laughter, Colson remained stoic, “I’m serious Y/N, dads hate me. I look like everything you’d want your daughter to avoid.”

A sigh left your lips at his admittance of insecurity. “Babe listen to me, please. My parents are going to love you because I love you. And if they don’t then tough shit because you’re not going anywhere.”

He nodded, but you could still see the worry behind his eyes. “I just really want them to like me. They’re important to you, so they’re important to me.”

You smiled at the comment, heart fluttering. “I’m in love with you.”

He looked at you deeply, a smile falling onto his lips, “and I’m in love with you, princess.” His lips pressed a small kiss against the crown of your head and rested there until the car pulled up to your childhood home. You felt your boyfriend tense up beside you, so you reached for his arm that was around your middle, rubbing soft shapes through the sleeves.

“I’m gonna be right next to you the whole night.” You told him as you moved to open the door, breathing in the refreshing air. LA was lovely, but it was nice to be able to breathe properly in your hometown.

Colson grabbed your bags out of the trunk, even though you insisted you could help. “Go say hi to your family, babe. I got it.”

You pressed a small kiss to his cheek, whispering a small “see you inside” before rushing to the familiar front door. Years of memories lie beyond its wood, memories you were excited to relive.

Knowing your family would keep it unlocked for you, you turned the knob and pushed the door open. The smell of your family’s cooking filled your nose, and immediately members of your family found you.

“Y/N!” Your younger cousins screamed, racing over to you to hug you. The last time you’d seen them they were 5 and 7, now they were 8 and 10.

“You guys have gotten so big! Did you drink some sort of magic potion or something?” You asked, a smile on your face.

Your mom had told you that she and your father would be cooking, but you didn’t think they’d invited your entire family. Although, you should have assumed they would given how close your family was.

Once your cousins let go of you, you turned around to see Colson waving off the Uber driver and making his way to the door. You turned to your younger cousins once he got close enough for them to see him. “Guys, this is my boyfriend, Colson.” They gave small waves as you introduced them to Colson, who gave them a big smile.

“C’mon, babe. I’ll show you to our room.” You grabbed one of the bags from his hand, much to his dismay, and led him through the house. After you had moved to LA, your parents had turned your bedroom into the guest room, but some of the decorations from your younger years had remained on the walls.

Colson looked around the room, smiling as he thought of younger you growing up in here. “Is this a Bowie vinyl?” He asked, motioning to the vinyl record on the wall as he set your bags onto the bed.

You nodded, smiling wide. “Yep, got it for my 15th birthday. Signed and everything.” Your boyfriend nodded in appreciation as his eyes moved around the room. You wrapped your arms around his middle, cuddling into his chest. You could feel his heart pounding in his chest from how nervous he was. “You’re not gonna freak out and run off on me, are you?” You asked, a light humor in your voice.

Colson let out a dry chuckle, “no, I’ll be okay.” He mumbled, squeezing you closer to him. “But what if  we just stayed in here forever?”

You slapped his chest playfully, “c’mon loser, you’re coming to meet my family whether you like it or not.” You grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the door.

“Yes ma’am.” He saluted with his free hand, making you giggle.

You made your way into the kitchen where your mom was standing with your aunts and sister. Her eyes lit up when she saw you, “you made it!” She came over and gave you a tight hug, “How was the flight?” She asked.

“It was fine, we slept most of the way.” You smiled before turning to Colson. “Mom, this is Colson, you’ve met him over facetime a couple times now, remember?”

She smiled moving to pull him into a hug. He had a shocked look on his face but reciprocated the hug. You mouthed “sorry” to him, giggling silently. He just smiled and shook his head, letting you know he was okay.

“Of course, I remember! She talks about you all the time.” You blushed as Colson smiled proudly. “You’re much taller in person.” Your mom noted, making you and Colson chuckle.

“Yeah, I get that a lot.”

Your sister cleared her throat, grabbing your attention, “right! Colson, this is my sister and my aunts.”

They each introduced themselves politely. You told them you were going to go outside to find your dad and brothers. Before you left your sister pulled you to the side and whispered in your ear, “okay, I knew LA was full of hot guys, but how’d you manage to pull that?”

You laughed out loud, “Y/S/N! That’s so mean!”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” She laughed, but then whispered again, “but seriously, god damn.”

You rolled your eyes, “next time I’ll bring you one back.” She giggled, nodding in encouragement.

You took Colson’s hand, ignoring his quizzical look, and led him to your backyard. “That wasn’t too bad, right?” You checked in on him.

He sighed, “no, but moms are never bad. If moms don’t like you, they’ll say it in secret. Dads will say it to your face.”

“My mom loved you, and so will my dad. Just trust me.” You smiled, squeezing his hand.

You found your dad sitting on a lawn chair with your grandparents. Your brothers were throwing a football around with some of your older cousins and uncles. You greeted the three in lawn chairs, your dad standing up to give you a hug.

“Hey, Y/N/N. How are you?” Your dad asked.

“I’m good! Glad to be home!” You smiled.

Your grandpa grunted, “you should never leave, then.”

You chuckled, leaning down to give both him and your grandma hugs. “You’ll be so sick of me in three days, you’ll be begging me to leave.”

Once you stood up straight, you motioned to Colson, “This is my boyfriend, Colson. You’ve kind of met him before, Dad.”

Your dad reached out his arm for Colson to shake, earning him a strong nod. “Strong grip. I like him.” Your dad looked towards you. You could tell he didn’t remember meeting Colson on facetime, but you hadn’t expected him to.

“Grandpa, you’ll like this. Colson knows all four members of Motley Crue.” You smiled, winking at your boyfriend.

The older man looked impressed, “really? I was a roadie on the Theatre of Pain tour.”

Colson nodded, a smile on his face. “I played Tommy Lee in their biopic and then, uh, we recorded a song together.” You grinned proudly as the two talked about their experiences with the band.

Your dad put a hand on your shoulder, shaking you lightly, “You happy?” He whispered.

You turned to look at him, “yeah. He’s a good guy, trust me.”

Your dad nodded, “oh, I can tell. Just wanted to make sure.” You thanked him, watching your boyfriend interact with your family. “Now you gotta introduce him to your brothers.” He chuckled at your sigh.

“Do I have permission to punch them if they act like assholes?” You asked, only kind of joking.

Your dad pushed you towards the lawn, “I see nothing.” You smile, grabbing Colson’s hand and leading him away from your grandpa once they’d finished their conversation.

“Okay, so I knew you were freaking out about my parents, so I didn’t want to freak you out even more.” You started, causing a panic look to cross Colson’s face. “My brothers are…” you searched for the words, “assholes. But like, loveable assholes. But they’re probably gonna give you shit, but it’s out of love. But I have no problem hitting them if you want me to.” You smiled.

He raised an eyebrow, “normally I’d say that’s my job but I feel like it’d be easier for your family to forgive you than me.” You laughed, pulling him to the guys and introducing him.

It turns out, your brothers actually really liked Colson, which was somehow worse than them hating him. Because it meant that they stole him from you. When you went back inside to talk more with your mom, your brothers demanded Colson stay outside with them. He seemed happy, so you let him stay, excited that your family was taking to him so well.

An hour later, dinner was almost ready, so your brothers started to set up the folding tables outside, which Colson gladly helped with. You were helping your mom finish up the last of the food, watching your best friend and soulmate through the window with adoration. He was helping your younger cousin put the tablecloth on the table, the scene reminding you of the time Casie and him took you out for a picnic on your birthday. You couldn’t wait to bring her here.

“You chose a good one.” Your grandma commented from behind you, making you jump a little bit. Once you registered her words, you blushed, mumbling out a thank you. “I can tell he really loves you. A granny can always tell.”

You smiled, “I really love him, too.” You turned back to check on him, catching his eye. He sent you a bright grin, making your grandma pat you on the shoulder before walking back to your mom to help her.

The rest of the night was magical, Colson by your side the entire time. Eventually most of your family left, leaving you and Colson to go to bed. You cuddled into his side, a smile on both of your faces. “They all love you, y’know?”

He hummed in response, squeezing your waist. “I love you.”

You chuckled, “you’re so fucking cheesy.”

 The next day you were determined to take Colson on a tour of your town, starting with the skate park you spent almost every day at in high school. “We would’ve been best friends when we were kids.” He said as you dragged him through the park.

“We’re best friends now.” You chuckled, pausing to press a kiss to his lips.

He hummed, “I think we’re a little more than best friends but okay.” You rolled your eyes, pulling him further into the park until you spotted a familiar face.

“Little Benny?” You asked, your face lighting up. The younger guy’s eyes widened, running up to you.

“Y/N?” he asked, pulling you in for a hug.

You chuckled, “You were like, 12 the last time I saw you, what the hell?”

The man laughed along with you, “well you were the one who ran off to LA miss big-time producer.”

You smiled, realizing he had probably checked up on you. Benny was about 7 years younger than you and had looked up to you almost his whole life. Seeing him so grown up was a strange experience for you.

You noticed him glancing to Colson, his eyes going wide. “You’re-“

You laughed, “Benny this is Colson, my boyfriend. Also known as-“

“Machine Gun Kelly!” The younger boy exclaimed, making Colson chuckle.

He reached out his hand, which Benny gladly shook, “nice to meet you, man.”

“Kells, this is Benny, my friend from high school. I taught him how to skate.”

“More like your protégé.” A female voice said. Behind Benny came Deanie, another girl his age you had taught. Benny’s arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her into him.

You smiled at the two, knowing Benny had liked her since he was in middle school. “Hi Deanie.” You said, the girl smiling back at you. “This is Colson, my boyfriend.”

“Are you gonna skate?” She asked, eyes going wide.

You sighed, shaking your head, “sorry, guys. Maybe later, I’m just showing Colson around the town right now.”

Deanie and Benny both pouted, “damn, she goes off to Hollywood and forgets all about us.” Benny joked, making you all laugh.

You grabbed Colson’s hand, “We’ll see you guys later!” You waved, pulling the man away from the couple.

“It was nice to meet you!” He said, making you smile. “You seriously taught him how to skate?”

You nodded as you continued your trek to the diner you used to work at. “Yep, I taught most of the kids how to skate, although I guess they’re all his age now.”

Colson grinned, “so you’re, like, a legend here.” He commented, but you shook your head, laughing.

“No, I was a loser.”

“Not to those two, you’re not.” He said, swinging your intertwined hands. You rolled your eyes but didn’t say anything further.

You finally arrived at the small diner you used to work at. About 50 feet away from the door, Colson’s phone buzzed. “Shit, Slim’s calling.”

“Take it, I’ll grab a table and you can meet me inside.” He smiled thankfully, answering the call as you walked inside.

You immediately spotted Wesley, the cook you’d known since you were 16, through the order window. The smell of the diner was familiar, and for a moment you felt like you were walking in for a shift. You leaned against the bar, “Hey, Wes!” You called, drawing the cook’s eye.

“Little miss Y/N! Is that really you?” You smiled at the old man.

“It sure is! How’s the diner?”

“I’m still here, aren’t I?” You giggled at his response. Wes had opened the diner in the 90’s and swore he’d burn with the building.

You grabbed a booth in the corner, just in case there happened to be any peering eyes in your small town.

Unfortunately, your table was in Liza’s section, a girl who’d hated you since you were kids. You found it quite funny that she was still working at the diner after all this time, silently thankful that you’d gotten out of the town.

She scowled when she saw you but walked over anyways. “What happened? Strike out in Hollywood and now you’re back here trying to get your job back?”

Her voice was just as annoying as it had always been. “Or did your rich sugar daddy dump your ass and now you’re home begging for money?”

You wanted nothing more than to slap the smirk off her face, but you refrained. “Actually-“ You started, but you got cut off by your boyfriend.

“You have a sugar daddy and didn’t tell me about it? Babe I would’ve helped you scam him for so much more.” He smiled, sitting across from you, and grabbing your hand that was resting on the table.

Upon realizing who was sitting across from you, Liza stiffened. “You’re-“

“Y/N’s boyfriend, nice to meet you.” He smiled, an evil glint in his eyes.

“Machine Gun Kelly!” Liza said, her squeaky voice making you cringe.

“I prefer Colson, but yeah.” He sighed, looking back over to see your annoyed expression.

Liza looked between the two of you, a look at disgust on her face. “Seriously? Why the hell are you going out with her? You could do so much better.”

Your mouth dropped open in shock at her blunt rudeness. Colson’s jaw clenched as he spoke, “what, like you?”

The girl shrugged, not catching the sarcasm that dripped from his voice. “I’m just saying, I don’t know what she’s told you but she’s a talentless bitch whose probably only dating you for money or fame, or both.”

Luckily, Wes came out to the front of the house to greet Colson, stopping him from punching a girl in the middle of the restaurant. “Nice to meet you, man. I’m Wes, owner, cook, and the best boss Y/N has ever had.” Colson shook his hand, still glaring at Liza.

“Yep.” You agreed with the man. Your voice was soft to calm Colson down, which worked a little bit.

Colson shot the man a grin, “nice to meet you, Wes. Y/N talks about this place all the time.”

The look of pride on Wes’s face was unforgettable. “Well, if you two need anything, just let me know.”

Colson looked towards Liza, annoyance returning to his features, “do you think we could get a new waiter?”

You almost laughed seeing the look of shock on her features, but Wes happily obliged, handing your table over to a newer waitress. Liza had steam coming out of her ears, but you ignored her.

“Thank you.” You muttered. “She’s hated me since we were kids.”

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah I could tell. Couldn’t have her talking shit like that.” He squeezed your hand, “now, what’s good here?”

[machinegunbun]

What if your abusive ex tried to talk to you or stalk you?

Pete and Colson are used to being stalked, kinda just comes with the territory and for the most part they find it funny, but when it’s happening to you they get PISSED. They’d hire extra security, but even then you’d have to talk them up to that bc their first reaction would be to j choose violence and beat the persons ass if they glanced in your cardinal direction. They’d make sure you blocked them on everything and would get you a restraining order from them, but mostly it would be about making you feel safe.

If you felt the security made it worse they’d get rid of it. They’d move if they have to. In this situation their focus is entirely on you and how you feel and making you feel safe. Reminding you when you get anxious that you’re out of it and you’re safe now. That they can’t get to you and they’d never let them.

Maybe even get a ring doorbell and security system, just so you’re still safe without drawing attention.

[livingmybestfictionallife]

As If Nothing Happened

Summary: Colson and the reader have been in each others’ lives since before middle school, secretly dated for two years, and suddenly vanished from one another. Years later, they accidentally reconnect and the pair share what has been on their minds since their falling out.

 The smell of liquor mixed with cheap cigarettes filled the air as (Y/N) watched the digital ball spiral around the board before her once more. All around were people--moving, talking, leaning against walls, pacing hurriedly past her, sitting too close, slurring their words, laughing with friends...living. Of the years (Y/N) had been coming to Las Vegas as a sort of annual tradition, she never came to gamble; she came to see the people, because even it's for the smallest of moments, on October 23rd, she needed to be distracted from her own life.

For nine years on October 22nd and 23rd, (Y/N) would make the trip to Vegas on her own, sit in casinos alone, play roulette, and think about the countless possible outcomes her life could have taken if only she could have changed something that happened ten years ago. So far, this year was much like every other: people continued living around her while a part of herself died over and over each year she came to this forsaken city of sin.

Absentmindedly, she placed a small bet on red-even, and sighed as she watched the digital ball spin around yet again. How many times? she thought to herself as her eyes trailed the ball. How many times will I come here? How many times can I stand to watch this ball go round and round throughout the years? The agony over her regret wasn't something she felt she could ever let go of despite how desperately she knew she needed to. Just as the ball earned her an extra two dollars of wealth, (Y/N) noticed a woman wearing next to nothing walk up to her and place a drink beside her arm without making eye contact. The icy green liquid surrounded a bright red maraschino cherry, and she wondered why her favorite drink was sitting before her. If she ever decided to drink on one of her Vegas trips, it was normally a sad drink like wine. It's not uncommon for people to turn their sorrows into vices, but she didn't want to ever be the woman crying over a vodka cranberry or a piña colada. If she let a tear slide over a Riesling, blush, or merlot, that was a different story. In this case, she didn't want to ruin the pleasant memories she had while drinking apple martinis with the sorrow she had in her heart that seemed to grow exponentially on these two days of the years.

"Excuse me," she called out just before the woman was too far away to regain her attention. "I didn't order this," (Y/N) explained once her eyes met those of the waitress.

"From the man at the bar," was the only response (Y/N) received before the woman sauntered away to attend to another patron. That sums it up, she thought to herself, as if there's not about fifty men at the bar. It wasn't that (Y/N) was interested in seeing who had bought her a drink, or even taking in the appearances of the men gathered at the bar not far behind her, rather the curiosity as to how someone happened to pick that drink to send her. After exhaling a sharp breath, she allowed her head to swivel on her neck and she swiftly took one glance towards the bar. Unfortunately for her, that quick glance was all too much, since a pair of crystal blue eyes stared at her from beneath the scraggly bleach blonde hair that overlapped them. Even across the room his eyes were piercing, and she could feel her stomach convulse into angry knots.

Him? What is he doing here? After all these years, why now?

(Y/N) tried not to watch as the man slowly rose from the bar stool he'd been reclining in, and made his way towards her. She came here to be alone, that was always the plan, that's how it had always been, and now, after damn near ten years, he's here. As he closed the gap between himself and the woman he'd spotted, as if by fate, from across the room, he gazed hesitantly down over her. Nearly a decade had passed since he'd last seen her--at least in person--and she was still as beautiful as the last time he'd laid eyes on her.

"Can we talk?" his voice was soft and low as he tried not to draw the attention of passersby. (Y/N) bit her lip as her heart turned to lead and plummeted to her knees at how soothing she still found that voice to be. Feeling as if she had no other option but to agree, (Y/N) nodded, but she did all she could to keep her eyes from meeting those of the man she knew as Colson, but the world know as Machine Gun Kelly.

After she'd cashed out of the roulette game, she hopelessly followed him as he tried to find a private place in the middle of a casino in Las Vegas. She knew it was damn near impossible, but Colson had always been...well, Colson. If he was determined enough to do something, damn it he was going to. Today however, he decided not to be stubborn, and since he quickly noticed (Y/N) becoming impatient, he led her to a fountain outside of the casino and sat down on the edge without a word. (Y/N) placed herself beside him and stared at their shadows on the ground before them.

There had been so many times in her life that she'd stared at her and Colson's shadows as they stretched across the pavement because she'd been unable to look him in the eyes: in middle school just after he'd gotten into a fight to defend her about some stupid, inaccurate rumor and she felt ashamed, the summer before she started high school after moving to Cleveland when she learned Colson had also moved to Cleveland and was relieved to have a friend, in high school after him and his girlfriend were arguing over something stupid and (Y/N) had to hold her tongue about the feelings she had for him creeping into her chest, and the day she told him she was pregnant.

Long moments of silence passed without anything more than each of them occasionally raising their drinks to their lips and scanning the crowd around them. Neither of the pair could stand to look the other in the eye. It was too painful for either of them to see the other without thinking of the countless possibilities and outcomes that had plagued each of their minds for the past nine years.

"So, how have you been?" he asked in a voice so small compared to how big he had become.

"Fine," (Y/N) responded in just as soft of a tone as Colson's. "You seemed to have accomplished everything you used to dream about," she said as a way to try and break through the tension that surrounded them.

"Yeah," Colson sighed as he gave in and allowed himself to sneak a glimpse of her profile, "almost everything." Another long silence passed where the pair that had once been inseparable struggled to exist around each another. He would stare at his drink and she would look to the shadows, each subconsciously drawing themselves to their individual flavors darkness that swallowed them the moment they left the other's life; yet they each held their breath in hips that the other would speak again.

A steady stream of air escaped Colson's lips as he tried to bring about the courage to say the word's he'd been dying to relay to (Y/N) had he ever been blessed with the chance to meet her again. Unfortunately, she found courage before he did.

"What are you doing here, Col?" The words she felt as if she'd been choking on for the past ten minutes had finally escaped her mouth. She could tell her voice was hurt, and she didn't intend on hiding any of that pain. In fact, hearing the weakness in her tone sent a lump into Colson's throat, and he quickly brought his eyes to look at her. She'd always been strong; it was something he loved about her, but after the past nine years of thinking, he'd realized it was something he'd taken advantage of. Just because she was strong didn't mean she couldn't be vulnerable, but it was in her moments of vulnerability that Colson could feel his heart break. As his eyes fell over (Y/N), he couldn't help but ache. She sat beside him, slumped over, her back completely curved with no posture to her other than the obvious desire to crumble into a fetal position.

"I- uh, I was going to come next year, but I know I'm not going to be in the States then, so I came on the nine year anniversary instead of the tenth." Softly, his fingertips found her arm and he gently traced his fingers along her skin. (Y/N) swallowed her pain with a gulp of her martini and pulled back her tears.

"I didn't realize you were that sentimental." The words nearly fell from her lips in a hiss hat it not been for them getting caught in her throat.

"(Y/N), I-"

"I have been here every year, Colson," she sighed heavily as she turned her head and body to face him completely. "Where were you? LA? New York? Half-way across the world? You know, there was a time that you made it seem like you wanted me to be there, and then the second things changed, you were gone!" The tears she'd desperately tried to keep from spilling began to fall slowly from her eyes and crated agonizing streaks of sorrow for him to look at.

"I wanted it more than anything else!" Colson's restraint snapped as he took (Y/N)'s face in his hands and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. "I wanted that child, (Y/N). I wanted to have you and our baby--I wanted our family! When we lost him, I just, I didn't know what to do or how to react. I felt you pushing me further and further away every day and I didn't know what to do."

"So you drove to LA and became someone else?" (Y/N) asked with an emptiness in her voice that he hadn't heard since she repeatedly told him "I'm fine," every time he asked about her mental state after losing their son.

"I asked you to come with me! I told you we could start over, we could try again if that's what we wanted!"

"I was nineteen, Colson."

"So are you saying you wouldn't have wanted to have a child?" (Y/N) could feel Colson's walls rising as he misinterpreted her words as rejection. "You wanted him when it was an accident," he immediately tried to counter, "what would have been different?"

"Nothing!" (Y/N) snapped as she brought herself to look into his eyes for the first time since she saw him at the bar. "Don't you see that I have no idea that anything would have happened differently? I had just, suddenly, became inhospitable for our unborn son. Who was I to think that any other child we could conceive would be different?" Her words were firm and felt louder than they were as they left her body. (Y/N) shook as the fear she'd held onto for nine years escaped her lips. The truth that hung from the strands of sentences she'd blurted out were difficult for Colson to grasp, but he did his damnedest to try to hold onto each syllable that came from her mouth, each momentary glance she would give him, and every detail of her face he could gather. "I just needed you. I need you, Col, not to move or start over or become something we weren't. I just needed you to tell me it wasn't my fault, that I didn't fuck everything up, that it wasn't because of me that our son was dead, that I wasn't the reason we left one another's lives, but you were gone."

Colson tried to stretch his fingers down (Y/N)'s arm and take her hand in his, but he could feel her muscles tense beneath her skin, so he stopped and lightly laid his hand on her forearm. "(Y/N), I never wanted to make you feel like-"

"Look, it's been almost ten years since we've seen each other. You don't have to do or say anything because you saw me here today. Honestly, sometime I think that after everything we shared together--the loneliness, our friendship, our relationship, all of it--it doesn't matter, because in the end...the way it ended...it was as if nothing happened."

"(Y/N), please don't say that." Colson's voice was weak--hardly a whisper drifting through the small space that separated them--and he knew her eyes wouldn't meet his again. He wanted to stand up and wrap his arms around her, to pull her into his chest and keep her from walking away, but he didn't know what he could say, or if there was anything he could say to keep her with him.

"Thanks for the drink, Colson," (Y/N) sighed as she walked away from the man she once loved--the man she, on some level, will always love--and down the Las Vegas Strip. Colson's eyes helplessly followed as (Y/N) as she slowly disappeared from his sight until she became just another figure hidden among the sea of people before him. The moment he'd lost sight of her gait amongst the crowd, he ducked his head into his hands, and watched his tears begin to soak the pavement below him.

[reddesertcolbs]

heather // colson baker

(idk if the last bit makes sense but it’s just my interpretation of the lyrics, pls give me some feedback on this)

requested: nope 

summary: you’re colson’s best friend, who you have feelings for and you watch him fall in love with another girl. (based on the song heather by conan gray) 

word count: 2.4k words.

warnings: mention of alcohol, angsty fic.

my writing

//

i still remember third of december me in your sweater you said it looked better on me, than it did you only if you knew how much i liked you

the december chill hit you in the face whilst colson and you walked towards the cafe for a late breakfast date. the wind gushes past you swiftly, creating tiny goosebumps which litter your bare arms, only now you regret wearing just a tshirt without a jumper to help warm you up. 

your body trembles as your muscles contract, trying to generate any heat to further warm you up, but it’s useless as the wind continues to blow forcefully. wrapping your arms around yourself, you glance up at colson briefly with a smile, before looking ahead again, whilst you rub your arms trying to heat up your skin. 

“are you cold?” colson’s voice pierces through the howls of the wind, causing you to turn your head and look up, his eyes filled with concern whilst knitting his brows together. 

“a little bit, but we haven’t got far to walk now.” you respond, teeth chattering ever so slightly, causing the blonde to shake his head with a grin before he stops his strolling next to you. 

you watch him with intrigue, as he tugs his hoodie off his body in one swift motion. your eyes tracing his exposed tattoos that are now visible from when his shirt that’s underneath his hoodie has ridden up, before he pulls on the shirt, tattoos now hidden underneath the black tshirt. 

“here, have this.” he stretched his hand out, clinging onto the blue material so it doesn’t get blown away because of the wind. 

“no you’ll be cold then, cols. honestly, we don’t have far to walk.” crossing your arms further, you try to walk again, before an arm gripping your shoulder and pulling you back stops you. 

“y/n,” his voice is stern, as he raises his eyebrow up, further extending his hand out to you. “don’t make me put it on for you.” 

“okay fine, only because it’s my favourite.” chuckling, you take the hoodie out of his hand, fingertips grazing along the soft hoodie. “thank you.” 

your heart is hammering in your chest as you pull the blue hoodie over your head, instantly being met with the scent of colson, causing your heart to thump quickly and your face to heat up ever so slightly. 

after tugging it all the way down, the hoodie ending past your bum and sitting on the middle of your thighs. sure you must look ridiculous, but the oversized hoodie and the smell of colson’s aftershave warms you up immediately. 

“god it looks so much better on you, than it does on me.” his right eye drops in a wink, a smug smirk tugging onto his pink lips, whilst you giggle, pushing his chest teasingly. “come on, let’s get a move on, your man is starving.” 

your man, how you wish he was.

you watch colson as he walks ahead of you. he is only a few steps in front but you can’t stop the various thoughts of colson from whirling around inside your head. you’re feelings for this special man in your life are through the roof, but you would never tell him because you do not want to ruin the friendship between you both. 

“hey, y/n.” his smile is huge, hands waving dramatically to gain your attention before his laughter is filling your ears. “snap out of your daydream, let’s go.” 

“i’m coming, i’m coming.” laughing with him, you jog the little way to meet up with him, his hand circling your shoulder and pulling you close to his body. the body heat radiating off of him helping your muscles to stop shivering within a second.

if only he knew how much you liked him, life with colson would be a whole lot easier.

but i watch your eyes, as she walks by what a sight for sore eyes brighter than a blue sky she's got you mesmerized while i die

“colson.” you shout for the third time in two minutes, trying to gain the blonde’s attention who is sitting opposite you on the table, before kicking his shin underneath the table playfully, which finally gains his attention. “hey, i’m talking to you.” 

“sorry what did you say?” he sends you an apologetic look, eyes flicking from yours to the girl who is walking past the table that the two of you are sitting on, before taking a seat in the chair that is three tables down, and quickly back to yours. 

you turn your head into the direction where he was previously looking, offering the girl a sweet smile as she glances over to the both of you, before looking back at him and raising an eyebrow up at him with a shit-eating grin, making him chuckle.

“i said what are you getting to eat?” your eyes observe his, watching the way his bright blue eyes that you love the most, scan across the menu that’s sitting in his ring-covered hands. however, your attention diverts from colson to the girl who walked past earlier, taking note of how breathtakingly beautiful she was, and how she was exactly his type, which makes your shoulders slouch. 

“i’m thinking about getting the pancakes.” the softness of his voice causes your eyes to flick over to him with a nod in agreement, telling him you’re having the pancakes as well, before a distinctive frown is tugging on your lips when he looks to the left again with a warm smile. 

after ordering and waiting for your pancakes to arrive, the two of you talk about how the past week has been, since it was the first time seeing each other in person for over a week. colson lets you in on some secrets for music videos and new music, but he always stops mid sentence to throw the girl three tables down a smirk. 

to make the whole situation even worse for you, he even hands her his number on the way out, telling her to call him. he can’t stop talking about how pretty she was, which you respond with short answers, fed up of hearing about the mystery girl who happened to mesmerise the man of your dreams. 

put your arm 'round her shoulder now i’m getting colder but how could i hate her? she’s such an angel but then again, kinda wish she were dead

at this moment in time, colson is throwing a get together, therefore his house is filled with lots of familiar faces. even though you busy yourself by talking to rook, who loves to spend time with you when you’re not hanging out with colson, there is a pang of jealousy sitting in the pit of your stomach when you look towards the new couple, who are standing in the kitchen with the gang and you. 

colson’s hand is linked with hers, huge smiles on their faces as they talk amongst themselves, occasionally lifting their bottles of beer up to their lips to take multiple swigs. 

you so wish you could hate her, but it was near impossible. she is so kind, and it melts colson’s heart every time he sees his favourite girls interacting or laughing freely with each other. the one thing that you liked the most about her is that she treated colson so well, and you know that she isn’t with him just for the fame that comes with his job, or anything that comes with machine gun kelly. 

she was literally an angel, and it killed you so much to see her be the one to make him laugh, kiss him and hold his hand in front of everyone. sure, before she came along the two of you would hold hands and hug all the time, but out of respect for the new relationship, you made a stop to the touching, even if it was all innocent. 

her sweet giggle makes you turn to the couple again, eyes flicking over colson’s arm that’s sitting securely on her shoulder. his fingertips rub soft circles into her exposed skin whilst he brings his bottle of beer up to his lips, taking a big swig and then licking the remains of any spilt beer off his lips with the tip of his tongue.

you excuse yourself from the group, before wandering off around the house and settling to distract yourself in the living room by playing a round of beer pong with the group who is crowding the pool table. 

why would you ever kiss me? i’m not even half, as pretty you gave her your sweater it’s just polyester, but you like her better wish i were heather

from the pool table, your eyes remain on colson, as he tugs her close to him whilst a huge and warm smile is taking over his face. his hand raises to move the piece of her hair and place it behind her ear, a blush raising on her cheeks from the simple action. 

sadness washes over you, shoulders slouching whilst you blink your eyes repeatedly to remove the tears that are threatening to spill. stepping away from the pool table to lean against the wall, your mind rewinds to last year, and you’re unaware of the tear that trails down your face as you’re stuck in your thoughts, eyes lingering on the tiled floor below you. 

--

“you look so beautiful tonight.” colson mummers, eyes racking over your body as you stand in front of him. a pink hue spreads across your face as you bring your bottom lip between your teeth, chewing gently as your heart hammers rapidly inside your chest. 

‘he’s just drunk he doesn’t really mean it’, you try to tell yourself. but that doesn’t stop the glimmer of hope of colson liking you back.

“thanks, cols. you’re looking great tonight too, as always.” you smile wide, watching the way his mouth turns into a smirk before he tucks his own lip between his teeth, eyes dilating ever so slightly as they linger on your lips, before his eyes flick back to yours. 

he walks forward slightly, his chest touching yours. his hand right trails upwards, brushing his fingertips across the softness of your cheek before his index finger is toying with a strand of your hair that is covering your face. with a gentle smile, he tucks the tendril behind your ear before cupping your face lightly, his face moving closer to yours whilst you stare up at him in awe. 

“can i kiss you?” he whispers, the warmth of his breath and the smell of tequila fanning across your face, making you nod your head slowly, muttering out a quick ‘of course’.

with a grin, colson leans forward, not before searching your face for any signs of hesitation or uncertainty, before connecting his lips with yours. his kisses are slow and soft, as his left hand grips your hip, pulling you impossible closer to him. your hands move from his waist, up to his hair, threading your fingers through the blonde strands and emitting a shaky breath from colson.

gaining more confidence, your tongue swipes across his bottom lip, begging for entrance. his lips part, his tongue brushing against yours within a second, battling for dominance. soft sighs spill past your lips as his fingertips dig into your hip, whilst your hands tug onto his roots. 

wolf whistles and obnoxious cheers make the two of you pull away, face warm and breaths shaky. turning around you’re both met with slim, who has a knowing smirk written onto his face before you turn around to glance up at colson, who’s eyes remain on slim. 

“i’m going to get another drink,” you mutter out, the sudden feeling of dread filling your chest at the thought of kissing your best friend, before you’re exiting the crowded living room and making your way to the kitchen. god, how could you have fallen for your best friend?

--

“hey, y/n. are you okay?” a voice pulls you out of your trance, your eyes lift from the floor to the person standing in front of you, whose eyes are laced with worry. 

“um, yeah. i’m fine, colson.” you clear your throat, hands flying up to your face to remove the tears that have fallen during your flashback to the summer of last year, before standing up straight against the wall. 

you glance around him to search for the girl, who isn’t standing next to him for the first time tonight, and your heart drops at the sight of her body now covered in the same blue hoodie that colson let you wear for your breakfast date. 

you shake your head, trying to remove the constant question ‘why would he ever kiss me?’ from the back of your mind, once your eyes scan over her figure, and you finally came to the conclusion that she was so much more suitable for colson. 

“you don’t look fine, come here.” his hands reach for your body, his arms wrapping around your shoulders and pulling you close to his chest. circling his waist tightly, the smell of tobacco, cedar wood and alcohol filling your nostrils, as you close your eyes for a brief moment to help stop your tears from flowing down your face. “what’s wrong? please tell me. you know i don’t like you being upset.” 

“it’s nothing, it’s just stupid.” you send him a smile, hoping he wouldn’t ask anymore questions that result in you admitting your feelings towards the blonde. but your words clearly can’t stop colson’s eyes from glancing around your face, trying to read your emotions. “i’m fine, honestly.”

“please, i hate seeing you like this. who do i need to go and sort out? is it anyone here?” his eyes flick around the room, trying to see if anyone is looking guilty before he is looking back down at you with a deep frown when his eyes gaze at a single tear rolling down your cheek. 

“no no, it’s fine. i’m getting tired, i think i’m going to head home now.” sniffling and patting the underneath your eyes to dry up some of the tears, you offer him a small smile whilst unlooping your hands from around his waist and stepping back, suddenly feeling slightly cold because his body heat is no longer surrounding you. “i’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“y/n…” his eyebrow furrows in confusion, as he watches your body walk away from him and towards the door, tugging your jacket over your shoulders as you move. his eyes are diverted from your body as it nears the door when he feels a hand wrap around his waist, eyes connecting with his lover and his arm is circling her shoulder. 

oh how you wish you could be her.

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