“You can join me on tour Yano” y/n looked over at Colson who despite being busy, made time to join her and her son from a previous relationship at the park, it wasn’t unknown that Colson was dating someone, people just didn’t know who.
“Colson push me higher please” he smiled over at the child and did as he was told earning a slight look from y/n “you know I can’t col” “yes you can, he can come, he’s not in school yet Cassie used to come and I was crazier back then” he smirked thinking back to the times were things were crazy, things weren’t as settled as they are now “just think about it, Cassie will be coming too, we can all just be together for a bit” y/n looked over at her son somewhat staring off, overthinking definitely was her thing, Colson had come to learn that the hard way early on in their relationship.
“OMG, MGK” turning his head at his stage name he saw a couple of girls approaching with massive grins on their faces, he was never one to turn down a fan, as long as they were polite “can we get a picture real quick” he smiled as y/n took over pushing y/s/n.
He could see them eyeing you behind him as they spoke, eyeing the boy who he really did just consider his son now, they had been together for nearly two years, his dad wasn’t in the picture, he loved that boy like he loved Cassie, moving slightly to the side to protect you both a little bit, this was still his private life - he keep you both out of the light as much as he good, sure you had been seen out shopping together but he always made sure you block you. He wasn’t a shamed of you at all he just didn’t want them taking something that was his as the media liked to do
“Thank you, for the photos, we will see you first day of tour” they waved leaving the three off you alone “she’s pretty by the way, stop hiding her” the laughed and ran off and he was sure the photos would be on the internet by the time they stepped of the park, which he wasn’t wrong, doing his scroll down twitter, there he was tagged in a post from one of the girls, he had got used to not looking at comments but he could see y/n in the background and he couldn’t help himself.
“She’s so pretty, he needs to stop hiding her and let us claim her as mother” he laughed and read one of the replies to the comment “he was with a little boy too, so I think she’s already a mother, won’t be hard for her to adapt to the roll”
“You have to come on tour, not for me, for the fans” she looked over at him confused “they did their mom” he laughed as y/s/n climbed up to lay next to him on the sofa “you have been claimed as mother, according to a few of the fan accounts” he shrugged wrapping an arm around the little boy “I wanna go, can we, please” he mumbled over towards his mom “I wanna go on stage like Cassie does” y/n took a deep breathe and nodded “okay, we will come” Colson smiled, finally getting her to agree, meaning he didn’t have to leave her for months, he didn’t have to have a relationship with her son via FaceTime for months and he got Cassie with him too.
“He’s not going on that stage though” “we will see, I’m packing his little guitar with mine, so we will see who wins that on stage debate in the end” your son had claimed he wanted to be like Colson when he grew up which meant the first thing Colson did when that was mentioned was get the boy his very own pink guitar, very much like his own just smaller.
Y/N shook her head in the direction of the boys that had her whole heart, looking forward to the next couple months traveling around the world with her family. 
“When does y/n get here? Not sure I can deal with his face anymore” slim whispered over to rook who nodded in agreement.
Colson was definitely in a bit of a grump he hadn’t seen y/n his girlfriend or Cassie since he started tour and he just missed them, sure Cassie wasn’t coming with y/n to this date due to school but he was getting one out the two and that made him happy enough.
“I’m not sure but she for sure needs to hurry up and let him have his way with her” Rook laughed as slim smirked as the grumpy Colson sat next to them “her planes delayed” the two men rolling their eyes at him “that’s all we need” Colson flicked them both of us and looked back down at his phone, seeing if there was any type of update from you
Finally landing after what felt like forever, all you wanted to do what wrap your arms around the man that you call your boyfriend being told by a good source that he’s grumpy and missing you daily.
“Y/n, fucking finally - down the hall to the right, go now” rook gave you a quick hug and pushed you in the direction he was “please fix him” he smiled waving as you walked down the hall not even making it to where rook said he was before being hit by an over 6 foot blonde man “I’ve missed you so fucking much” he mumbled into the top of your head “I don’t you have any idea how much I missed you” “no I definitely missed you more” “not possible babe”
And now everything was nearly right in the world he just needed Cassie by his side too!
Colson couldn’t help himself, he was far beyond excited - finding out that y/n his girlfriend of four years was expecting their rainbow baby after a previous loss, he couldn’t help it, it’s like it came bubbling out of him whenever someone was near so sure she should of expected to wake up seeing a fan video posted off Colson screaming in to his mic on the last day of his lost americana tour “I’m gonna be a daddy again” she watched the video a few times and could see how giddy he was but it was meant to be a secret for a few more weeks until she got past the week where she lost their previous baby.
“Do you think she’s gonna be mad?” They were on a plane back home “idk man, I mean she did want you to keep it on the downlow but it’s also y/n you smile and can get way with murder with her” rook laughed, he wasn’t wrong, not that Colson often stepped out of line when it came to you, but there was a few times he did push your buttons for the hell of it and smile and it’s all okay again “maybe she’s not seen it” the flight comes to its end and they all part ways being away from their respective families far to long, he looked down at his phone seeing a message from cassie saying she would come home after school and not to pick her up, making his way back to his y/n, hoping she hadn’t seen it.
“Hey baby, I’m home” she was sat watching friends on hbo, didn’t even turn her head to acknowledge him, yes she’s seen it and yes she’s annoyed and she had every right but he was just so excited to share the news
“I’m sorry” he bent down infront of her as she sat on the sofa “oh yeah what for?” She smirked “for being and idiot and spilling the beans, I’m just so excited” she honestly couldn’t stay mad even if she tried and she wasn’t really annoyed anyway, she leaned forward wrapping her arms around his neck “I’m not annoyed at you, I was just playing, the video was adorable” she smiled and leaned in pressing a kiss to his lip as his hands went to where the smallest bump was. “But atleast keep the gender a secret for a bit yeah?” He nodded, they didn’t know yet but he was sure his girlgang was going to expand, Cassie, y/n and baby bean.
“Ask Y/N? Surely it’s got to be easier dancing with someone you know, then someone you don’t” Colson thought about it, the video idea for cliche did involve a main girl dancer, y/n was a dancer so yes what Rook suggested did make full sense, but he had got so used to keep her out the spotlight, it was what they both wanted, sure it had gone on longer then anticipated, it wasn’t meant to be nearly three years together and still in their little bubble but it was working and they were happy.
Sure no one would actually know she’s his girlfriend, it’s not like she’s gonna have a sticker on her forehead saying yeah I’m his dancer and girlfriend, but he was so unsure if it was the right thing to do.
“Just go ask her, all she can say is no” rook spoke breaking his thoughts “plus she already knows how your gangly limbs work” he smirked as he left the studio and I flicked up my middle finger “short man problems” I shouted after him laughing.
“Are you done for the day?” A head pop round the door, his y/n “for you? Yes” one thing he learned from other relationships that didn’t end well was that he did know that a break was needed from his work, she walked in and sat on the sofa “will you be my dancer?” “What?” She laughed “yeah sorry, I need a dancer for the music video, will you do it?” She nodded “yeah sure” “and will do it for live performances?” “Yes” “are you sure” she nodded “like for real sure? It’s the most public thing we have done” “it’s not like you’re going to be out here kissing me live on stage is it?”
The music video went smoothly and other liver performances went without a hitch, now in the middle of tour which was great.
“Man I don’t know how you dance that closely with your girlfriend every night and not get hard tbh, she’s here body rolling into you” “who said the baggy jeans ain’t hiding it” I shrugged in the direction of slim, who was laughing “nah man, your both doing good not one of you have slipped up yet, I was fully expecting your big mouth to say something on stage at some point during this tour or forget that your on stage and grab her when your not meant to” “don’t jinx it I’ve still got tonight, not to mess up”
The crowd was loud, we were down to the final songs, one of them being cliche, looking over to my left seeing y/n laugh with the other dancer for the tour, she convinced me to hire her best friend, when the idea of using two female dancer for the tour came about “right im about to dance” I spoke in to my mic, the crowd screaming back at my words. “This is cliche”
Feeling her hand go across my back as she circled me to come round for the body roll, looking down at her, she was honestly stunning, my brain completely forgot we were on stage, I leaned down and kissed her - in shook she pulled back, leaving me there smirking the crowd were shouting and also confused i heard y/n shouting my name, the rest of the gang laughing so hard at how long I’d kept it shut and on the last day I slipped up, “ooops, guess the secrets out now, shall we start this again?” Pulling y/n into my side, hoping that after the gig finished she wouldn’t be to mad at me.
Colson was a girl dad, everyone knew this - he had Cassie when he was young and from that moment he had become a girl dad, he knew what it meant to be a girl dad, but when the girl he met who was a single mother, to a boy he had no idea on what would entail.
All he really knew was he couldn’t mess this up, y/n had brought so much happiness into his life and this was the first time he was meeting her little boy, understandably she wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to be a flake before meeting him, make sure what they had was something, which he totally understood being a single dad himself, even though things were slightly different now cassie was older and could ask to meet the people in his life and make her own opinions on them.
“Yo, y/n” breaking his zone of thought he hear slim down the hall, she was bringing him to the last show of tour, “and y/s/n, cool outfit little man” he hear the toddler laugh and say thanks “where is he” “down the hall, to the left, can’t miss it the door has his name on it” swallowing the lump in his throat, he had played to thousands and this he was nervous about. “Mommy do you think he will like me?” He smiled to himself as he heard the little boys voice asking the question that he himself had asked you before the meeting “babes he’s gonna love you” the knock on the door soon came, taking a deep breath he got up to open it, smiling at your face on the other side.
“Hey you” this was the first time he was seeing you in weeks, other then FaceTime which is where he first met y/s/n as “mom’s friend” and nothing more, his eyes fell to the little lad at the side holding your hand, bending down to his eye level so that they were the same height pretty much anyway “I’m Colson” his hand out for the little boy to shake “I’m y/s/n” and repositioned Colson’s hand for a high five “I’m too cool for hand shakes” the three year old spoke, which made Colson smirk “I bet” standing back up to invite both of you into his dressing room for the night, the toddler ran off jumping on the sofa next to Colson’s guitar “careful buddy” y/n spoke “he’s fine” Colson mumbled pulling her into a hug “this is so cool” looking over noticing him eyeing up the guitar, “I can teach you” “really?” “Yeah let’s get you a smaller one and you can be on stage with me in no time” leaving y/n watching the two bond and her sons little hands trying to copy Colson’s and just like that colsons worry about not knowing anything about being a “boy dad” or “boy step dad” hopefully went right out the window, looking at this boy that if anyone didn’t know any better you would think he’s Colson’s blonde hair, dressed very similar. Almost like he was meant to find these two and find his mini me in y/n’s son.
Okay, I need someone to write where MGK is secretly dating his dancer (the reader) and at the end of the performance he kisses her accidentally and the fanbase blows up… idk.
The sun is shyly trying to make an appearance at your curtains, too scared that it might be left out again after so many days of darkness. Some rays already are entering the room through a small gap in the fabric, making their way to reveal the dark scenario it's inside. You are all curled up on the bathroom floor, knees tied up to your chest and you are slowly rocking back and forth trying to calm your sickness down. You sigh, feeling that sharp pain at the pit of your stomach which is telling you are far from being okay. Your hands are gripping your legs so hard that you can feel your nails digging into it and leaving bloody marks on your pale skin. He would have said that you are too pale to even look alive and you would have given back that he should be the last to speak of that. You gulp at the idea of him talking to you, which has not been happening for the past 8 months, and which is now leading you to a spiral downward knowing that he got better, healthier and is somehow engaged to some sort of goddess, fact that won't let a chat between the two of you happen ever again. You lean against the wall behind you, the cold tiles reliving some of the pain in your back, supporting you as you feel that you might just lose it again. Your pulse is slower, you can feel your senses slow drift but your mind is well awake and it keeps showing you the moments before his last dance through your apartment door.
Are you serious?”
“Do you think I'm not? Is there any evidence in my eyes that tells you I am not serious?” you are crying your heart out as you just spelled the words.
“It's just I cannot believe you're doing me this.”
“What? What am I doing to you? Can't we just stop and take a moment to see what you're doing to me?”
“Who's the one bringing our relationship to an end?”
“Me because of you! Can't you see how broken you are?”
“You should be and stay here to help me, not letting me down!”
“The only way I can help you is leaving you! Because if I don't you won't ever see how much help you actually need. It's not about got, it's about you.”
“Fine, then I'll go. But I won't be you anymore once I'll get better.”
“You're not getting the point of this, Colson. You think I just want to let you down or go which is the very last thing I'd do right now but I love you so much and I have to think about your health first.”
“Apparently I am too high on something to get that, it must have been hard for you to bear with it for all these years.”
“You want the truth? Yes, it has been, because you'll never know what it feels like to love someone so much and watch them slowly destroy themselves this way.”
At this point you're hurting so much that you think you might get a heart attack just by looking at his face. He's sweating from nervousness peaking up on him, hands shaking as he frantically picks up the few clothes being at your flat.
“I thought you were here to help me also get through this.”
“I am but it has become too much and I am slowly drifting in your same direction and it's not taking us anywhere good. Can't you really see it?”
“And what if I get better and I won't want you anymore?” words are stuck in your throat as you try to speak. His rage starts to build up and his stare, softer before, is becoming like a knife pointing at your stomach.
“Well, I guess I'll have to bear with it..”
"Yes, you'll have to because I am telling you that I won't ever need you anymore.” he pronounced those words right into your face, at just 1 inch from your mouth, his cologne filling your lungs as his wild eyes pierced right through yours with anger and disappointment.
It's funny how we are so good at keeping the most painful memories with us: you still remember your last I love you whispered at the sight of him forever walking out of your life, never heard and never taken but you cannot remember the last time he hugged or kissed you. You don't think you've ever deserved it, after all, and the memory of that it's now too unbearable to be even reminisced. He's always been way too much to even be real, and not necessarily in all the positive ways. You wanted him so bad, you really loved him of a one-of-a-kind love and because of that you had to let him go to make him focus on himself, his health and his path to an addiction-free life. You are happy he made it after all - even though without you. Even though you're now throwing up for the fourth time in a single day wishing that you could just go back in time and hold him one last time telling one more I love you before it was too late.
You jump on the floor at the loud knock on your door. Your cheek is placed on the bathroom floor, still wet from the tears of your previous panic attack. The knocks get louder and even more frequent but you cannot, in any way, find any strength to stand up and walk to the door even though you're trying your best to recollect a bit of decency and at least try to properly breathe. As you do that you can hear it getting slammed on the wall, a vase of flowers breaking into pieces as frantic footsteps wander in your apartment. You keep your eyes shut as voices start to mix up, your head is spinning becauseit's not making any sense and when you’re about to faint again you hear someone, many someones in fact, screaming your name and just one really hits you hard. He keeps calling you and you have no strength left to answer, to tell him that you are there, that he just needs to go a step forward. His footsteps are going everywhere in your apartment but there where you're laying, tears now almost choking you as you keep hearing him looking for you. Your gasps seem to be loud enough for him to be heard and there he is.
“She's here! Oh my God!” his voice cracks up as soon as he speaks and he immediately runs to you.
"Colson..” it's just a whisper but he hears it very well. He leans over you, moving your hair behind your ear to let you hear him good enough say “I'm here”.
The light is warm and so it's the blanket covering both of you, your head resting on the pillow as you slowly try to recollect enough strength to stay awake and talk to him. He's just two inches away from your body, paying attention not to touch you but not even letting one inch more widening the gap, resting his hands on his lap, his elbow shyly approaching yours. His breath is steady and slow and you try to use it as a pacer for your own which is still frantic from before. You are still thinking it might be a dream and that he could disappear anytime soon and you would very much use this time to wrap yourself around him and tell him anything you need to say, before a break into your rem phase occurs and ruins it all.
“I was scared. Like not just scared but fucking scared. Why the hell did you not answer all the day long? To your mother, brother, sister, friends. I was.. I mean.. I thought.. ugh.”
You did not expect so many words coming from him so you just need a moment to recollect the memories of the past 36 hours.
“Uhm.. I don't know, I wasn't feeling very well.” he sighs and sits straight on the bed, his back facing you as he takes his head in his hands, not really knowing how to handle the rage building inside.
“Then why the fuck didn't you tell anybody? Do you know how hell worried I was? You always think that nobody cares and it's not such a big deal but it fucking is.”
“We haven't been talking for months now so I didn't think it could be of such interest for you to know I wasn't okay. And I think it's pretty clear that I'm not.”
“If I'm not talking to you it doesn't mean I don't care.”
“How the hell could I know that, Colson? Sorry but I do not get your point.”
“Then you think you could just disappear and I would be fine with that?” he's spitting these words out as if they were the worst joke ever heard. You also sit up to look into his eyes and you mentally curse yourself because now you're lost. They are so bright and yet now so dark, hurt and disappointed. You remember that look on his face the same day he had enough of you and you just can't take it.
“Yes” you whisper it as you try to stop the tears from falling. You still feel the salty traces on your cheeks from the previous panic attacks and in this very moment you realize how much of a mess you must be now.
“You're crazy.”
“Then why are you even here? Why were you looking for me? Why did you have to find me passed out on the bathroom floor just to tell me I'm crazy?!”
“I didn't mean to be here for this. - he gulps as he says that and immediately stares at his hands, fingers playing wildly as he tries to find the right words, suddenly too nervous to look at you but too excited to stay calm - I was.. I mean.. I wanted to ask you if we could talk. I texted you but I got no reply. I thought it was fair and okay at first so I tried to call you but, again, no answer. Once, twice, thee, ten, twenty times so something should have surely happened. I called your family, best friend, colleagues, no one could fucking reach you so I did one last thing. - his voice cracks at this point - I would have done any-fucking-thing to find you. Even if for one last time.” and there it goes, the total breakdown, the ace to the longest tennis match, the real knockout: him bursting out crying right in front of you. He's never been one into tears, you could count the times on the fingers of one hand and all of them were joyful and enriched with largely positive emotions. But these ones are different and you don't really know how to handle them.
“Why?” you whisper, once again, as if the room was full of people overhearing the most precious conversation. He just wipes his face with the back of his hand covered with one of those sweatshirts you stole so many times. It hurts seeing it, thinking he might have just taken it back from his new girlfriend’s closet, now filled with his cologne. He sighs and looks at you with the most dangerously warm, dense stare.
“You were right. Getting on this path was very much needed: I regained health, focus, passion, reason but most of all myself. I can now sense my feelings, almost touch them and I've got to give a name to many of them. But there's one which has been missing to finally finish the puzzle and it was because I didn't have the matching part with me.”
“Which?” he stares at you, eyes firing up as his iris find their way to open yours and run down the stairs which directly lead to the centre of your hidden universe. Your heart is pounding so loud that you fear he might hear it and run away knowing that you still love him so much and that did not learn the lesson. He left you once and he might just do it one more time, not bearing the thought of you being so into something that you should have long forgotten. But his hand is now burning against your cheek while the other easily finds its way to your waist, bringing you impossibly close to him as if you were the one about to run away. Your chest is now against his, sculpted and yet so soft and warm, your arms wrapped around his neck and fingers interlocked to his hair.
“You.”
“What?”
“It's you I was missing.” and with that you're kissing, in an expression of pure poetism you are tasting the bittersweet feeling of love that it takes so much from you only to reconvert it into something more powerful that is given back with such force to which you can only surrender. His lips are so eager to be on yours, him tasting better than ever as you pull him closer, not knowing if this will last and wanting any inch of him being impressed on you as the cage that's now covering the paintings on his body. His heart is wild but so is loving him, the craziest rollercoaster you've ever been on, the most difficult hike ever invented yet so easy to climb on because he's just there.
“Then.. I mean I heard you had a new one.”
“New what?”
“Girlfriend, stupid.” he looks at you, hands still wandering on your back. Ugh.
“Yeah.. I might have” you try to push him away “if you agree to be with me.” you sigh so loud.
“Oh my gosh I hate you!” his laugh fills the hair as he starts tickling you so hard that you're completely out of breath. Now for a good reason, at least.
