“When does y/n get here? Not sure I can deal with his face anymore” slim whispered over to rook who nodded in agreement.
Colson was definitely in a bit of a grump he hadn’t seen y/n his girlfriend or Cassie since he started tour and he just missed them, sure Cassie wasn’t coming with y/n to this date due to school but he was getting one out the two and that made him happy enough.
“I’m not sure but she for sure needs to hurry up and let him have his way with her” Rook laughed as slim smirked as the grumpy Colson sat next to them “her planes delayed” the two men rolling their eyes at him “that’s all we need” Colson flicked them both of us and looked back down at his phone, seeing if there was any type of update from you
Finally landing after what felt like forever, all you wanted to do what wrap your arms around the man that you call your boyfriend being told by a good source that he’s grumpy and missing you daily.
“Y/n, fucking finally - down the hall to the right, go now” rook gave you a quick hug and pushed you in the direction he was “please fix him” he smiled waving as you walked down the hall not even making it to where rook said he was before being hit by an over 6 foot blonde man “I’ve missed you so fucking much” he mumbled into the top of your head “I don’t you have any idea how much I missed you” “no I definitely missed you more” “not possible babe”
And now everything was nearly right in the world he just needed Cassie by his side too!
As usual Feedback is welcome, HATE is not ; if you don’t like it, don’t read it. ✨💕
“I’m Here, Go Back to Sleep”
MGK x Female Reader
Warnings - None. Just pure fluff!
——————————————————————————
Waking up to an empty bed these days wasn’t unusual these days, with the album deadline slowly creeping up day by day, Colson spent almost all of his hours in the studio, working himself to the bone to produce an album everyone can enjoy.
With your own workplace continuously overworking you, sleep or time didn’t come easily to you either. You couldn’t remember the last time both you and Colson had actually spent more than a few minutes at a time together in the same room and it was starting to become very lonely.
Leaving the cold and empty bed, after another night of hopeless tossing and turning, you sigh and drag yourself downstairs to the kitchen. Preparing for another day to survive on coffee you make one for both yourself and your boyfriend who didn’t even leave the studio last night. It was most likely he fell asleep there in the very early hours of the morning.
While the lack of sleep wasn’t new for Colson, it certainly was for you and you could feel it slowly starting to affect your mind and body.
You grab him a change of clothes, a blanket for yourself and his favourite aftershave before crossing over from the house into the converted studio space.
With the band already in session, you slipped in almost undetected, but as always, your eyes caught Colson’s immediately. You give him a small smile and walk over to give him what you had brought over.
“Babe, what are you doing up so early? You look exhausted” he whispers as he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.
You let out a small laugh and set yourself down on the closest chair.
“Gee, thanks Col”
After a quick clothes change and the others leaving in search for food, Colson calls you over to the desk he’s working at.
“Come, let me hold you” he mumbles, stretching his long arms out in your direction.
Wrapping the blanket tightly around you, you walk over to your lover and wrap yourself around him so you were straddling him. He holds you tightly and sways gently.
“You need to get some proper rest, baby, you are going to make yourself ill” he tells you softly.
You giggle to yourself at his concern for you, knowing full well he wouldn’t take his own advice even if you begged him.
“I’ll rest when you do” is your answer and you can practically feel him rolling his eyes at you, despite not actually being able to see him as you rest your head in the crook of his neck.
The two of you sit there quietly, as colson continues to sway you and hum a track from the new album into your ear.
Despite not being able to sleep properly, something about being in colson’s arms after so long, settles you and you cannot fight the call of sleep that beckons you. Your eyes close slowly and without protest as you rest against the frame of your man, the feeling of safely enveloping you.
Colson smiles down at you, tenderly, the look of frustration and stress leaving your features as you snore lightly.
He would be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t missed these small intimate moments with you and did feel quite guilty for not making more time for you while in the process of doing this next album. You never once complained and took everything in your stride which is on of the many things he loved about you.
He couldn’t wait to look after you and treat you to something special as a way of thanks for all your support when the album was complete.
His train of thought was interrupted as he heard everyone coming back to continue the session. He panicked slightly as they all barged through the door and glared at them in an effort to silence the rowdiness they were currently displaying.
“Shhh! She hasn’t slept properly in weeks and I swear if any one of you wake her up! …” Colson hisses at his friends, before looking down at you to ensure you were still peacefully sleeping.
Slim is the first to put his hands up in mock surrender, a smirk plastered on his face as he leads the group back out the door, but he was secretly glad that this would mean Colson would be forced to take a break, even if it was just an hour or so. He knew he definitely needed one.
Once alone again, Colson lifts you up with ease and carries you over to the sofa, laying you down and climbing in beside you. He wraps his arms back around you settles in. The movement causes you to stir slightly, your eyes still closed you mumble for your boyfriend not to leave you.
Plot: You and Colson met in high school, and ended up having major crushes on each other. You get together in the end, and have a baby together, Casie. A year after Casie is born, you get kidnapped, and Colson tries to forget you after you're gone for five years, getting with girls he isn't even into. Then he meets Megan, a full ten years after you were kidnapped. Having no idea that you've been gone for 10 years, you finally manage to escape.
Word count: 1387
---***---
Colson's eyes widened, his mouth dropping open, his mind unable to process what is happening. After so much time, it almost didn't seem real, it was like his dream finally came true. He had imagined how he would react in this moment so much, but now that it was finally here, he couldn't move. His body felt stuck to the ground, his body and heart heavy. It was you. After so long, you were in front of him again. He couldn't stop his hand, that reached out to you, reacting with a mind of it's own. His fingers brushed your cheek and he felt goosebumps rise on his skin. It's really you, you're back, just like he had dreamed and hoped for. As if there is something stuck in his throat, he can't find the voice to speak, to say anything, ask you anything.
"It... It really is you...Y/N."
Your name falls off his lips, feeling his heart tighten in his chest at the sound of it. He never thought he would say that name again, not after all this time. Ten years. Ten fucking years you were gone. He did everything he could in the beginning, desperate to find you. You had taken your daughter out to get some stuff for her first birthday, Colson working in his studio, figuring it would be a normal day like any other, sharing his life with his beautiful family, envelopped in happiness. But then he got the call that crushed his entire world. Police were called about a lone stroller in a mall parking lot, a few witnesses seeing two men approaching the woman that was with the child as she was about to put the baby in the car seat.
"Colson... Who is this?"
Megan appeared next to Colson at the door, your eyes turning to look at her. You had no idea how long you have been gone, as you were kept in a dark and isolated basement all this time. You had no idea that the police had assumed that the kidnappers already killed you, since there was no ransom call, and all of the clues they had came off as dead ends, around 6 years ago, the case turning cold. But Colson kept going, kept fighting. Every night, he would look down at your little girl as she slept in her crib, and later her little bed, promising her that one day, she will see her mother again. He spent many sleepless nights, unable to understand why someone would take you from him. For a long time, he slept in the guest bedroom, refusing to sleep in the room he shared with you, vowing to only return to that room when you were back.
He would often fight tears as he showed Casie your family photo album. There was so many memories in those photos, all the way back to high school. You and Colson met in high school, we was a few years older than you. From the first moment you saw each other, you felt the sparks flying, developping a major crush on him. But you didn't know how to approach him, worried that you were not his type and afraid of rejection. So you tried to admire him from afar. But you had no clue that Colson was admiring you in return, whenever you weren't looking. You had no clue that he also had a major crush on you. that he didn't even look at other girls, even when they were right in front of him anymore, ever since he saw you.
One day he made the decision to approach you and the two of you started talking. You couldn't believe your ears when he asked you out on a date, to the beach, that just happened to be your favorite place. One date lead to two, then to three, up until the two of you had your sweet angel, Casie. It was as if the two of you were always meant to be together. Losing you was the most difficult thing that Colson ever had to deal with. He lost a lot of his willpower, but he had to keep going for Casie, and for the hope of bringing you back home. He had put his music on hold, not even having the energy to write or record. Five years after you were kidnapped, he felt like he was going mad, and that was the first time ever since you were gone that he let another woman near him.
Soon, he started getting with a bunch of girls he was not into, only to try and numb the pain of your absence. It did little to fill in the void in his heart, but it was a distraction, a way to stop the constant worrying about your safety and wellbeing and to spend time with someone, someone who had no idea about who you were or what happened. He saw you in every woman, with every caress, he felt like he was touching your body again, and that was another reason why he kept seeing all those girls. But he never forgot to be a great dad to Casie, never forgot to put her first and make sure she has everything she needs and is well taken care of. He wanted to be the best dad he could be to his little princess, and never let her feel the absence of her mother, and he would do his best to remind her of you, through pictures and stories.
"C-Casie? Is... Is that Casie? What is going on? How long was I gone?"
Your eyes landed on a beautiful little girl, she had Colson's features, but there was no denying she had yours too. It was your daughter. She was so much older than you thought she would be when you finally escaped your captors and rushed to the house you once shared with Colson. You expected her to still be that little baby you craddled in your arms all those years ago, because that was how you remembered her. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you realised that you were gone a lot longer than you could ever imagine, broken sobs escaping your lips. Colson's heart broke at the sight and he couldn't stop himself from rushing to you, despite Megan being there, wrapping you in his arms tightly, his hands caressing your hair as he tries to calm you down.
He had met Megan last year, at a party his friend threw. He didn't think anything of it, thinking it would be the same interraction as always, but it wasn't. Even though you still held his entire heart, he felt like Megan was different and he decided to give a relationship a chance again. He couldn't have known that something like this would happen, that he would have you back again. His whole body shuddered at the feeling of your small frame against his own, memories flooding back. He knew there was so many things he had to tell you, and that he would also have to take you to the police so you could tell them everything, in hopes that your captors will be brought to justice. His voice was gentle, the term of endearment falling off his lips naturally, like no time has passed between you.
Colson knew he had a lot of things to explain, both to you and to Megan. Megan knew several things about what happened and had figured out that you were the mother of his child, the one he lost, from the way she saw him looking at you and the tremble in his voice as he called you 'baby', but you had no idea about any of what happend while you were in captivity. You would have to adjust to the time you lost, rebuild all of your relationships. As for what would happen to your relationship with Colson, remained to be seen. After all, he was with Megan now and didn't want to hurt her, but your relationship is a chapter he never got to close, never wanted to close. Now time will tell how you would take everything, and how all of you would move forward.
---***---
@boyle3758 I don't know if you remember this request you made, but here it is finally, hope you like it :) <3
Also, Colson looks really damn good with that hairstyle in the gif!
Request: No
Title: Catch me (if i fall)
Pairing: MGK x Reader
Genre: Fluff, Songfic /Inpired by Heart to Heart by James BluntCW/TW: Colson being a dumbass. oblivious colson, friends to lovers. Mentions of weed and light mentions fo disordered eating.
Summary: Reader and Colson have been friends since the hotel diablo era, but somehwre around the end of tickets to my downfall reader realized they fell for him. Colson doesn't take the hints until reader decides to be very OBVIOUS.
Good god. How dense can one person be?
You thought to yourself as you looked into his blue ocean eyes, almost getting lost into them for the nth time this evening. He was smiling, talking about his new projects and he had this bright ness in his eyes like he knew he was up to something great, and was going to make it happen. He was such a passionate guy and it was one of the many reasons you fell head over heels for him
But you'd been dropping sings over and over. between sharing songs with romantic lyrics and saying you thought of him, which had varied responses ranging from him responding by saying it was sweet and you were adorable, to sometimes just saying ''ay yo, that's pretty sus". You had shown up to meet him wearing some clothes which hugged your figure, crop tops, worn make up the way you knew he liked, and yet he only ever smiled and said you were stylish.
He probably only meant to be supportive. You held his hand in public and he didn't pull it away, You covered his face in kisses, cutting his hair for him, shaving his beard while he relaxes whenever he came to your place. It was all so domestic, and yet he still didn't seem to see anything in it, despite how you'd straddle his lap to shave him, or how you'd always have your legs on his lap when sitting near him.. Your hands always were on him, you couldn't help yourself, it was just how you show affection, through touch.
''I'm telling you Y/N. This is going to be like, it's going to blow the sky off"
"Blow the sky off, Col? what's that even supposed to mean."
"You know like, it won't blow just the roof. It'll blow the sky too."
Maybe you had been around him too much. Because for some reason the more you thought of it, the more you felt like that made sense. You sighed, caressing his hair, he had won so many awards for TTMD... And he was already going off on a tangent about another album? This man had the restlessness of a toddler on amphetamines. You
His immediate reaction was to, much like a kitten, close his eyes, nuzzling your hand briefly before pulling away and eyeing you like he was intrigued.
"What was.. what's that for?"
"Can't i show you my love?"
"You're so clingy." He teased you and pulled you in for a hug, his long sleek arms wrapping around your frame. He was so much taller than you . That's one of the things, he is taller than almost everyone around him, dude's 6'4. This felt infuriating. He couldn't help being tall but it didn't make it any easier for you to not get butterflies when he got all up in there holding you against him.
''You could just- enjoy it? You just won like, iheart radio award for best alternative rock album of the year as well as the Billboard award for best rock album... Like... you can breathe."
"I know.. i know. I just- i don't wanna lose the momentum. i'm on the limelight. If i can keep it up., if i can go through with this, i might just get like a streak of some sorta.."
You sighed, knowing you couldn't argue. Never argue with a taurus. One: they won't care, 2: they'll do what they want, 3rd: they might actually headbutt you.
'When was the last time you stopped to just chill..?"
"Y/N"
"I asked a question, Colson."
"I smoked some weed yesterday."
"That is not chilling... you smoke all the damn time anyways, including while writing songs."
"HEY!"
He rolled his eyes, and you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. The line between passion and obsession was crazy thin, and for MGK it was often non-existent. He got into this huge hyper fixations and didn't even stop to eat, just writing, just playing the piano, the guitar, rapping, singing until his voice was shot. It's like he couldn't just do the bare minimum it had to always be dialed to 11.
"Colson... when did you last eat?"
"I- erm- I- I i had. i had some chicken nuggies."
"CHICKEN NUGGETS COLSON-"
"I did-! I ate chicken nuggets, i ate!"
"When? How many? And did you eat anything else?"
He rubbed the back of his neck giving you this yellow grimace, sheepish. Why was it so hard to get actually angry at him? He always looked like he was two seconds away from giving you these puppy dog eyes and make you reconsider every life choice you ever made.
"You're lucky i love you, you idiot..."
"Ay yo"
"can you not- for once?" It escaped your lips faster than you could stop it, and his eyes widened
"wAIT... y/N you're pissed off?"
"YA THINK?"
"what did i do- what.. you.. what"
You climbed up onto his lap, as you ordered some actual food, a proper meal for his dinner off of ubereats. You were paying. You then pressed your forehead to his.
"I can't sit here and watch you destroy yourself. I get it you have your method, but no award is worth you destroying yourself over..."
"Y/N..."
"Besides, it's infuriating! You can't just- you can't do this to me"
"Do what? Y/N what's- what- You. What's goin' on?"
"You can't make me fall for you and then hit self destruct like that, you git."
"Git-"
"You asshat"
*You sighed, running your fingers along his stubble, biting your bottom lip to keep your voice from cracking as your emotions began to run high for a bit...
"You can't fucking do this to me."
"wait what" he asked, his voice soft as he tilted his head to the side, like he was slowly coming to his senses about something.
"You can't just"
''Y/N"
" You don't get to do that you know"
"Y/N" He said again, trying to get your attention to him
"WHAT COLSON"
"You said ''fall for you''... you... you like me or something?"
And that was when you realized, he genuinely had not noticed it. You thought he might have been just being playful and teasing you. or even playing hard to get. He can be that much of a tease at times. But apparently? not this time.
"How did you not COLSON!"
"You... you're into me. Like. you're.. You are like. You for real? You're not shitting me?"
"I get on your lap to shave you"
"It could be for better access? i'm taller than you"
"I Cut your hair"
"Friends do that too" He added quickly
"I watch your food intake?"
"You care! It's sweet."
You never wanted to implode as much as you did now. You took a deep breath, your fingers tangling in your hair and you let out a muffled scream before you managed to actually climb on top of him, straddling his hip . You didn't know if you would have the nerve to do this in a bit, so you just went for it, gently pushing him own against the back of the couch and kissing him in a urgent, bruising kiss, your lower lip tangled with his upper lip, messily, until your tongue asked for permission to enter his mouth.
He granted permission, albeit he was stunned for a couple seconds, he eventually kissed back, his big hands clutching the flesh of your waist, digging down o you with a sense of possessiveness as he brought you unfathomably closer, like he wanted you both to merge. His tongue massaged your own and he took full control of the kiss allowing you to just melt into it accompanying the pace he set. It made you feel so... dainty almost. Your heart was doing somersaults as you finally got a taste of his mouth, god.. He tasted of whisky and weed, and he had this musky scent to him which was inebriating.
Eventually you both broke the kiss to catch your breath. He let out a heavy sigh like a breathy moan which sent pangs of desire through your core. Fucking hell he was hot. he then caressed your face, his fingers tracing under your jaw until he held your chin between two fingers forcing your (e/c) eyes to meet his own blue profound unwaters which somehow felt both uncharted and so familiar...
"So you really do like me."
"Colson!" You laughed.
"Ooopsie Daisy"
"You're unbelievable..."
You both chuckled but he pulled you in for a tighter hug, and kissed your shoulders before burying his face on the crook of your neck affectionately. You could feel his warm breath hitting your skin. Suddenly you felt the rumble of his voice vibrating against your dermis as he whispered if you wanted to be with him.. his words were soft, a bit meek as he asked:
"so... we an item now?"
You snickered but hugged him tighter, kissing the top of his head.
"Think so..."
"Good good. We good..?"
"We good, Col.."
"i really, really like you, Y/N..."
"I know. And i lime you.."
"You do?"
"No. I actually love you, but we'll take it slow. When you fall, i'll catch you."
He smiled, looking thankful that you understood his own speeds and wouldn't rush things. but you were in fact now both dating. And it was making you so happy.
The sun is shyly trying to make an appearance at your curtains, too scared that it might be left out again after so many days of darkness. Some rays already are entering the room through a small gap in the fabric, making their way to reveal the dark scenario it's inside. You are all curled up on the bathroom floor, knees tied up to your chest and you are slowly rocking back and forth trying to calm your sickness down. You sigh, feeling that sharp pain at the pit of your stomach which is telling you are far from being okay. Your hands are gripping your legs so hard that you can feel your nails digging into it and leaving bloody marks on your pale skin. He would have said that you are too pale to even look alive and you would have given back that he should be the last to speak of that. You gulp at the idea of him talking to you, which has not been happening for the past 8 months, and which is now leading you to a spiral downward knowing that he got better, healthier and is somehow engaged to some sort of goddess, fact that won't let a chat between the two of you happen ever again. You lean against the wall behind you, the cold tiles reliving some of the pain in your back, supporting you as you feel that you might just lose it again. Your pulse is slower, you can feel your senses slow drift but your mind is well awake and it keeps showing you the moments before his last dance through your apartment door.
Are you serious?”
“Do you think I'm not? Is there any evidence in my eyes that tells you I am not serious?” you are crying your heart out as you just spelled the words.
“It's just I cannot believe you're doing me this.”
“What? What am I doing to you? Can't we just stop and take a moment to see what you're doing to me?”
“Who's the one bringing our relationship to an end?”
“Me because of you! Can't you see how broken you are?”
“You should be and stay here to help me, not letting me down!”
“The only way I can help you is leaving you! Because if I don't you won't ever see how much help you actually need. It's not about got, it's about you.”
“Fine, then I'll go. But I won't be you anymore once I'll get better.”
“You're not getting the point of this, Colson. You think I just want to let you down or go which is the very last thing I'd do right now but I love you so much and I have to think about your health first.”
“Apparently I am too high on something to get that, it must have been hard for you to bear with it for all these years.”
“You want the truth? Yes, it has been, because you'll never know what it feels like to love someone so much and watch them slowly destroy themselves this way.”
At this point you're hurting so much that you think you might get a heart attack just by looking at his face. He's sweating from nervousness peaking up on him, hands shaking as he frantically picks up the few clothes being at your flat.
“I thought you were here to help me also get through this.”
“I am but it has become too much and I am slowly drifting in your same direction and it's not taking us anywhere good. Can't you really see it?”
“And what if I get better and I won't want you anymore?” words are stuck in your throat as you try to speak. His rage starts to build up and his stare, softer before, is becoming like a knife pointing at your stomach.
“Well, I guess I'll have to bear with it..”
"Yes, you'll have to because I am telling you that I won't ever need you anymore.” he pronounced those words right into your face, at just 1 inch from your mouth, his cologne filling your lungs as his wild eyes pierced right through yours with anger and disappointment.
It's funny how we are so good at keeping the most painful memories with us: you still remember your last I love you whispered at the sight of him forever walking out of your life, never heard and never taken but you cannot remember the last time he hugged or kissed you. You don't think you've ever deserved it, after all, and the memory of that it's now too unbearable to be even reminisced. He's always been way too much to even be real, and not necessarily in all the positive ways. You wanted him so bad, you really loved him of a one-of-a-kind love and because of that you had to let him go to make him focus on himself, his health and his path to an addiction-free life. You are happy he made it after all - even though without you. Even though you're now throwing up for the fourth time in a single day wishing that you could just go back in time and hold him one last time telling one more I love you before it was too late.
You jump on the floor at the loud knock on your door. Your cheek is placed on the bathroom floor, still wet from the tears of your previous panic attack. The knocks get louder and even more frequent but you cannot, in any way, find any strength to stand up and walk to the door even though you're trying your best to recollect a bit of decency and at least try to properly breathe. As you do that you can hear it getting slammed on the wall, a vase of flowers breaking into pieces as frantic footsteps wander in your apartment. You keep your eyes shut as voices start to mix up, your head is spinning becauseit's not making any sense and when you’re about to faint again you hear someone, many someones in fact, screaming your name and just one really hits you hard. He keeps calling you and you have no strength left to answer, to tell him that you are there, that he just needs to go a step forward. His footsteps are going everywhere in your apartment but there where you're laying, tears now almost choking you as you keep hearing him looking for you. Your gasps seem to be loud enough for him to be heard and there he is.
“She's here! Oh my God!” his voice cracks up as soon as he speaks and he immediately runs to you.
"Colson..” it's just a whisper but he hears it very well. He leans over you, moving your hair behind your ear to let you hear him good enough say “I'm here”.
The light is warm and so it's the blanket covering both of you, your head resting on the pillow as you slowly try to recollect enough strength to stay awake and talk to him. He's just two inches away from your body, paying attention not to touch you but not even letting one inch more widening the gap, resting his hands on his lap, his elbow shyly approaching yours. His breath is steady and slow and you try to use it as a pacer for your own which is still frantic from before. You are still thinking it might be a dream and that he could disappear anytime soon and you would very much use this time to wrap yourself around him and tell him anything you need to say, before a break into your rem phase occurs and ruins it all.
“I was scared. Like not just scared but fucking scared. Why the hell did you not answer all the day long? To your mother, brother, sister, friends. I was.. I mean.. I thought.. ugh.”
You did not expect so many words coming from him so you just need a moment to recollect the memories of the past 36 hours.
“Uhm.. I don't know, I wasn't feeling very well.” he sighs and sits straight on the bed, his back facing you as he takes his head in his hands, not really knowing how to handle the rage building inside.
“Then why the fuck didn't you tell anybody? Do you know how hell worried I was? You always think that nobody cares and it's not such a big deal but it fucking is.”
“We haven't been talking for months now so I didn't think it could be of such interest for you to know I wasn't okay. And I think it's pretty clear that I'm not.”
“If I'm not talking to you it doesn't mean I don't care.”
“How the hell could I know that, Colson? Sorry but I do not get your point.”
“Then you think you could just disappear and I would be fine with that?” he's spitting these words out as if they were the worst joke ever heard. You also sit up to look into his eyes and you mentally curse yourself because now you're lost. They are so bright and yet now so dark, hurt and disappointed. You remember that look on his face the same day he had enough of you and you just can't take it.
“Yes” you whisper it as you try to stop the tears from falling. You still feel the salty traces on your cheeks from the previous panic attacks and in this very moment you realize how much of a mess you must be now.
“You're crazy.”
“Then why are you even here? Why were you looking for me? Why did you have to find me passed out on the bathroom floor just to tell me I'm crazy?!”
“I didn't mean to be here for this. - he gulps as he says that and immediately stares at his hands, fingers playing wildly as he tries to find the right words, suddenly too nervous to look at you but too excited to stay calm - I was.. I mean.. I wanted to ask you if we could talk. I texted you but I got no reply. I thought it was fair and okay at first so I tried to call you but, again, no answer. Once, twice, thee, ten, twenty times so something should have surely happened. I called your family, best friend, colleagues, no one could fucking reach you so I did one last thing. - his voice cracks at this point - I would have done any-fucking-thing to find you. Even if for one last time.” and there it goes, the total breakdown, the ace to the longest tennis match, the real knockout: him bursting out crying right in front of you. He's never been one into tears, you could count the times on the fingers of one hand and all of them were joyful and enriched with largely positive emotions. But these ones are different and you don't really know how to handle them.
“Why?” you whisper, once again, as if the room was full of people overhearing the most precious conversation. He just wipes his face with the back of his hand covered with one of those sweatshirts you stole so many times. It hurts seeing it, thinking he might have just taken it back from his new girlfriend’s closet, now filled with his cologne. He sighs and looks at you with the most dangerously warm, dense stare.
“You were right. Getting on this path was very much needed: I regained health, focus, passion, reason but most of all myself. I can now sense my feelings, almost touch them and I've got to give a name to many of them. But there's one which has been missing to finally finish the puzzle and it was because I didn't have the matching part with me.”
“Which?” he stares at you, eyes firing up as his iris find their way to open yours and run down the stairs which directly lead to the centre of your hidden universe. Your heart is pounding so loud that you fear he might hear it and run away knowing that you still love him so much and that did not learn the lesson. He left you once and he might just do it one more time, not bearing the thought of you being so into something that you should have long forgotten. But his hand is now burning against your cheek while the other easily finds its way to your waist, bringing you impossibly close to him as if you were the one about to run away. Your chest is now against his, sculpted and yet so soft and warm, your arms wrapped around his neck and fingers interlocked to his hair.
“You.”
“What?”
“It's you I was missing.” and with that you're kissing, in an expression of pure poetism you are tasting the bittersweet feeling of love that it takes so much from you only to reconvert it into something more powerful that is given back with such force to which you can only surrender. His lips are so eager to be on yours, him tasting better than ever as you pull him closer, not knowing if this will last and wanting any inch of him being impressed on you as the cage that's now covering the paintings on his body. His heart is wild but so is loving him, the craziest rollercoaster you've ever been on, the most difficult hike ever invented yet so easy to climb on because he's just there.
“Then.. I mean I heard you had a new one.”
“New what?”
“Girlfriend, stupid.” he looks at you, hands still wandering on your back. Ugh.
“Yeah.. I might have” you try to push him away “if you agree to be with me.” you sigh so loud.
“Oh my gosh I hate you!” his laugh fills the hair as he starts tickling you so hard that you're completely out of breath. Now for a good reason, at least.
Synopsis: In which you want Colson to give up control for once.
Requested? Yes! "Hi could you write some smut where Colson gives up control for the night and the reader makes him lose his mind because he feels so good😭"
If there was one thing you knew about Colson, it was that he liked being in control.
Not even just sexually. He needed control over everything in his life: his career, his friendships, the way people spoke and thought about him. And when he couldn’t get that control, he would get frustrated.
You and Colson hooked up pretty often. You weren’t exclusive by any means. Just some fun here and there whenever one or both of you were feeling horny. Because you weren’t in a relationship, he didn’t have control over you, but he did in the bedroom. And usually, you were more than happy to give that up.
You loved struggling to walk after an encounter with Colson, or the way the skin on your ass stung from his handprints. The way your hips or thighs or breasts would feel tender from his teeth and fingers. The occasional burn on your wrists from handcuffs or rope. You couldn’t deny that you loved it all.
But sometimes, you wanted to take control, to see what Colson would be like if he finally gave up control, even for just a night.
Colson had called, sounding frustrated and emotional, and you’d invited him over. He sulked into your place the second you opened the door, hood of his sweatshirt pulled over his head. He stalked right to your bedroom and you followed behind, brow furrowed in concern. “Kells,” you said.
He tossed himself onto your bed, his back to you, and your frown deepened as you climbed onto the bed, raising a hand to touch him but then letting it fall. “Kells,” you repeated. “You okay?”
He rolled over then, looking up at you, and his jaw twitched as his hands found your hips, pulling you to straddle him. He lifted his upper body so his hand could grasp the back of your head, and then he pulled your lips to his, kissing you hard. You couldn’t help the little moan that fell from your lips as your mouths collided, and you allowed him to pull you down with him.
Suddenly, a burst of confidence flashed through you, and you grabbed his wrist and pinned it to the bed. Then, you nipped at his bottom lip and he grunted, using his free hand to push your shoulder so the kiss would break. He frowned at you and tugged his wrist free. You frowned, too, then grabbed both of his wrists, and pinned them to the bed, hard.
“What are you doing?” he muttered, yanking his hands free and flipping you onto your back. Your breath hitched as he hovered over you, staring down into your eyes.
“I want to take control for once,” you snapped, surprised by the bite your tone held. Colson blinked, looking a little confused. “You always take control. Give it up. Just this once.”
“I don’t want to,” Colson muttered, pressing your hips into the bed.
“Why not?” you bit back. “What are you so scared of?”
“Shut up, Y/N,” Colson mumbled, jaw twitching. He refused to meet your eyes.
“No really,” you said, sitting up. “What are you so scared of, Colson?”
His shoulders slumped and his face reddened with anger. It was a little scary, but you weren’t really afraid of him. “I have to be in control,” he said tightly.
“Why?” you pushed.
“Because I have to!” Colson roared, a vein popping out in his neck. He huffed, then buried his face in his hands. He was breathing hard and you put your hand to his shoulder.
“Colson, no you don’t,” you said, voice much gentler. “You can trust me, baby. Please. Just let me take care of you for once.”
Colson’s hard breathing began to slow, gradually, and finally, he removed his hands from his face. He looked a bit wrecked, but he was listening. “Please, Kells?” you asked quietly. Colson was silent for a long moment, and then, finally, he nodded.
Your first move was pulling his sweatshirt and t-shirt over his head. “Get on your back,” you insisted, and he followed the direction. You straddled him again, and this time, you were a bit more gentle when you pushed his wrists into the bed. He fought back just a little, but when you gently shushed him, his muscles relaxed. He was silent as he watched you, and that’s when it hit you: he really was scared. Scared to lose control. Scared to let someone else control him.
You leaned down, brushing your lips over his ear. “I’m not gonna hurt you, Cols,” you murmured, kissing beneath his ear. He drew in a breath. “I promise, baby. You can trust me.” Colson’s heart pounded hard against your chest and you moved your lips to his, kissing him slowly. Long, languid, drawn out kisses that had him sighing when you pulled away. You could feel him start to relax beneath you, even if just slightly.
You broke the kiss to move slowly down his body. His eyes never left you once as you dragged your lips slowly over his neck, then his chest, and finally, his stomach. Your teeth gently grazed his hip bone and he sucked in a breath. You could see where his sweatpants were straining against his erection, and you smirked just a little at the reminder that you were the one to cause that. This man, whom everyone wanted, was turned on by you.
He lifted his hips as you tugged his sweatpants down, leaving him only in his tight boxer briefs, which were made even tighter by his hard dick. Colson was tense, mouth clamped shut as you eyed him in his boxers, and then you brought your hand to his cock and squeezed. His eyelashes fluttered and he let out a soft grunt, but his mouth stayed closed. Slowly, you stroked your hand up the length of him, which caused his thighs to tense.
It had been a while since you two had been together, and despite the fact that you weren’t exclusive, you were pretty sure Colson hadn’t hooked up with anyone else in your absence. As his breathing grew labored, your suspicions were confirmed. He was way too sensitive to have been with someone else recently.
You took your time with him, enjoying the rigid length concealed in the tight fabric, twitching and throbbing as your hand moved faster. You were sure Colson wanted you to take off his boxers and put his cock in your mouth, in your lubed hand, somewhere else, but he was staying silent. You wanted him to beg for more.
You got off the bed and Colson watched your every move as you took down your leggings and straddled him again. You pressed the underside of his cock right to your pussy and ground forward, which finally loosed a moan from his lips. He clamped his mouth shut again, eyelashes fluttering as he breathed deeply through his nose. Leaning down, you pressed your lips to his neck as you continued to grind on him, your pace speeding up as his breathing did.
Suddenly, his eyes closed tightly and he made a little, strained noise as his hands clenched into the sheets. You’d never seen him like this before, and it encouraged you to move faster, to keep grinding on his dick, providing just enough friction to tease him. Suddenly, his eyes flew open, and he looked almost panicked, but then, a gasp caught in his throat as his mouth dropped open. His hands went to your ass and squeezed hard as his hips twitched up. His skin flushed pink and his head fell backwards as an almost pained moan fell from his lips, and his hips jerked against yours. A quick glance down revealed a spot spreading in the front of his boxers. Holy shit, you thought. I just made him come without even taking his boxers off.
Colson trembled, shuddering as his body relaxed beneath you. His eyes remained closed and his cheeks remained pink. He was embarrassed, and it was honestly kind of cute. You pressed a kiss to his swollen lips, and finally, he opened his eyes. His breathing slowed as you held eye contact with him, and he looked unsure at first, but slowly seemed to relax.
“Hey,” you murmured. “That was hot.” Colson flinched, ever so slightly, and you shook your head. “I mean it. You have me so wet, Col.”
Colson’s throat bobbed as he swallowed hard. “Let me feel you,” he croaked, finally letting his voice out. You scooted your hips back just a little so Colson’s hand could cup you over your panties. The heel of his hand rubbed against your clit and you whimpered softly. Grinding on him, making him come like that, it had you ridiculously turned on. Colson’s eyes held yours as his hand descended into your panties, and his breath hitched when he found the slickness between your legs. “Holy shit,” he breathed, pulling his hand away and examining his glistening fingers.
“Think you can go again?” you asked sweetly, and he nodded as he tugged down his boxers. Sure enough, his dick was either still hard or already hard again. “Good. I want you to get behind me, and then, don’t move.” Colson did as he was told as you got to your feet and stripped out of the rest of your clothes. Then, you climbed back onto the bed, getting on your hands and knees.
You looked back over your shoulder at Colson, whose eyes were glued to your ass until he realized you were looking at him. Then, his baby blues found your eyes. “Be a good boy and stay still,” you told him. He swallowed hard and his eyes flew back down as you slowly moved your hips back, sliding his hard cock inside of you slowly and with total ease. Colson’s brow furrowed and groaned deeply, hands curling around your hips. He started to thrust forward and you clenched around him, tightening your ass so he couldn’t move you forward. “What did I just say?” you asked. Colson blinked at you and nodded.
You stayed there for a long few moments, your ass pressed to his hips as you held him still inside of you. You knew it was driving him crazy, but still you waited. Until, finally – “Please!” he blurted.
“Please, what?” you asked.
“Please, Y/N, move, fuck me, just, mm. Please!” You were surprised at the desperation in his voice, and at his willingness to continue to give up control. You bit your lip and moved forward before slamming back onto him. He cried out, hips stuttering as you finally started to move. You kept it slow so you could feel every hard inch of him sliding in and out of you, and because you knew it drove him crazy. “Uhh, fuck, pleasepleaseplease,” he babbled, and you knew you finally had him. He was all yours.
You started to move faster, finally giving him what he craved, and a raspy, relieved moan fell from him. You glanced over your shoulder at him as you moved, and god, you’d never seen him so hot. Mouth dropped open, brow furrowed, eyes squeezed shut as you moved. The power you had over him only made you wetter.
You pulled off him and his eyes opened. “On your back,” you said, and he scrambled to do as he was told. You straddled his hips and held his cock at your entrance, taking him in inch by inch, painfully slow. Your thighs trembled as you took him to the hilt, and then you began to roll your hips. Your hands splayed on his chest and you bit your lip hard as waves of pleasure rippled up and down your spine.
“God, you feel so good like this,” you managed, circling your hips for a moment before continuing to fuck yourself onto him. Colson was biting his lip so hard that he was sure to draw blood if he didn’t stop. “Come on, Cols, let me hear you,” you encouraged. “Tell me how good it feels, baby. Just want to make you feel good.”
Colson wasn’t much of a talker in bed unless it was dirty talk. He wasn’t one to verbally acknowledge his own pleasure other than a few curses here and there. You wanted desperately to hear him, to know how good you were making him feel. You knew it was hard for him to let go, but you wanted it so badly.
“Uhh, god, Y/N,” he gasped. His voice trembled. “That feels s-so fucking good.”
“Yeah?” you responded, rolling your hips down harder.
“Fuck, don’t stop, please,” he begged, writhing beneath you a little. He threw his head back, reveling in the pleasure, and you leaned forward to kiss his neck. His hands found your ass and squeezed, but he wasn’t moving you, just holding onto you.
“Yeah, baby, that’s it,” you encouraged him, your own hips jerking a little at the new angle, at the delicious pressure on your clit. “Fuck, Colson,” you gasped.
“You fuck me so good,” he moaned. “God, I’m getting close…”
“Me too,” you whined, pushing up again. You wanted to watch his face when he finally let go. And you wanted to come together. You pressed your hand between your two bodies, fingers finding your clit. You whimpered and threw your head back in pleasure as your thighs started to tense and heat built in your stomach.
“Fuck it,” Colson muttered, shoving your hand out of the way so he could touch your clit instead, and suddenly, it was too much. Your pleasure spilled over as orgasm crashed into you so hard that the cry that left your mouth was totally out of your own control. And as you came, you could feel Colson coming, too, pressing his hips up into you as he moaned, louder than you’d ever heard him. You did your best to keep moving on him, helping him ride it out, watching his face as he fell apart.
Finally, you slumped over him, your head on his shoulder. Colson’s arms tightened around you, holding you so tightly that his arms began to shake. You slid your arms around his neck and held him equally as close, not wanting to pull away. Neither of you did for a very long time, even as his dick started to soften inside of you. Finally, reluctantly, you pulled back and hurried to the bathroom to clean up.
When you returned, Colson was cleaning himself off, too, tossing tissues into the trash can. His eyes found you as you left the bathroom, and he looked timid, something you’d never seen before from this cocky man. “Hey,” you said quietly as you crossed the room to where he sat.
“Hey,” he murmured, hands going to your waist as you stood at the side of the bed, bracketing yourself between his legs. He looked up at you and you held his face, leaning down to kiss him softly.
“You okay?” you asked against his lips and he nodded.
“Thank you for that,” he murmured.
“For what?” you asked, pulling back slightly.
“For helping me give up control,” he said shyly. You just smiled and kissed him again before pushing him backwards onto the bed. You snuggled up beside him and the two of you fell asleep together, feeling safe and content.
¬Colson meets a fan backstage.
Pairing->f!reader x colson baker
Word count-> 2.0k
cw. fluff, some deep convo, fan service, mentions of suicide, swearing.
The noise was unreal. You still couldn't belive you finally made it to kells' concert. It had been an odissey to get enough money to afford the plane and concert tickets, at some points you even wondered if it was worth it. However being here made you have no doubt--It was absolutely worth it.
"Thank you beautiful people for coming today," he practically yelled into the mic, his bright pink hair dripping drops of sweat."I'm afraid this will be the last song of the night."
The crowd sobbed loudly, but the sad atmosphere was quickly replaced with the festival of cords that was the beginning of WWIII. To you it felt like Colson was flying around, his instense energy being contagious to every single fan that was singing along the extravagant lyrics. Everyone was jumping and laughing like one big, jolly being.
Eventually the song was over, and everyone was ready to go back home, but Kells was thinking otherwise.
"Before y'all go back home, the crew and I have one more thing." you looked around just to see excited faces."We've decided to gift a V.I.P meet n' greet behind the scenes to three random people;"
He stepped aside and signaled to the big screens around him, which started showing pink explosions and sparkling silver and black dashes. Then, a series of numbers started to appear—it was ticket numbers.
Your heart was pounding fast, and you could feel the adrenaline pouring through your entire self. You knew it was beyond highly unlikely your number would appear on that screen, yet you couldn’t help but hope…
The first couple of numbers had already been announced, meaning there was only one left. One opportunity to meet Colson left. You knew it wasn’t gonna be you, but even being aware of it didn’t prepare you for the disappointment of realizing the third and final ticket number belonged to the person right next to you. The screen showed the number 118, while your number was 117.
You scowled silently. What a drag. At least i got to enjoy myself for a few hours was all you could say to yourself to make you feel better. You looked to your right, expecting to see the lady excited out of her mind, but she looked quite neutral. Thinking it was odd, you continued gathering your stuff to go back home.
“Excuse me.” You felt a slight pat on your shoulder along with the sound of a voice getting lost in the background noise. You turned around. “I can’t really attend the backstage thingie, I promised the sitter I’d be back home early. Would you like to go instead?”
To say you couldn’t believe your ears would be an understatement. “Sorry?” You said in shock. The lady looking back at you seemed to be in her late 30s, short brown hair and kind eyes. She giggled.
“I realize it’s weird, but I really can’t stay any longer. If you can’t accept it there’s no problem, I’ll just ask someone else.”
But before she finished the sentence you interrupted with frantic nodding. “I’ll take it! It was just so unexpected! Are you really sure?”
“I’m really sure I can’t afford a different sitter right now,” she smiled honestly. “So yea.”
She offered you her ticket and you took it, hesitant. And there it was, the winning ticket—or one of them anyway—in your hands. You felt on top of the world.
“You have no idea how much this means to me, thank you so much.” You said while smiling as well, and she just brushed it off.
“Never meet your idols is something I’ve always firmly believed anyways. Have a good time!” After saying that she quickly left.
It took you a while to get it together. The whole situation felt crazy to say the least. You just knew your friends were gonna be so jealous (in a nice way) and eager to hear the whole thing. They simply were not gonna believe this!
You made your way to the backstage entrance, where a bodyguard and some other staff members were to make sure everything went smoothly. The other two people in front of you, who you assumed were the other winners, seemed to be really excited as well.
One of the staff members explained that each of us would have approximately ten minutes with Colson, in the order the winners were announced. They also gave you some merch, which you naturally loved. You immediately put on a little rubber band around your wrist that came in the carefully organized package.
After some time, it was finally your turn. You were so excited the waiting felt like a blink. The bodyguard walked you through a hallway with a bunch of doors on either side, until finally you reached one that had a piece of paper sticked to it. “MACHINE GUN KELLY”
Your heart immediately skipped a bit, you couldn’t believe you were actually going to meet MGK. Machine Gun Kelly. Colson Freaking Baker. You inhaled some air hoping it would calm you down—of course it didn’t—and the bodyguard opened the door.
There he was. A smoky blunt on one hand and his phone on the other. He wasn’t really sweaty anymore, and his hair was a mess yet his face looked so calm. His see-through shirt revealed his contoured torso full of tattoos. You knew he was tall but seeing him in person for the very first time... he seemed taller than anyone could ever be. Just the arch of his nose and piercing eyes made you feel like oxygen wasn’t so necessary anymore-
“You don’t have to stand all the way there,” his raspy voice took you out of the trance in a heartbeat, which made you a little shy due to your awkward demeanor. “C’mere”
Once again hesitantly you walked a little closer to him, who was no longer leaning against the wall nor unaware of your presence. Colson was standing up—god he got even taller-- and looking at you in a curious manner. “What’s your name?”
You whispered the answer, unable to look into his eyes for longer periods of time than twenty seconds each. He giggled, amused.
“You’re not very talkative, are you?” Now it was your turn to giggle. For some reason his unpreoccupied remark eased you into the moment. “Sorry,” you sighed “college didn’t teach me anything on how to talk to someone like you.”
He walked closer to you and sat in a nearby chair. “Woah, someone like me? And here I thought we're getting along.”
You laughed out loud again and he smiled in return and inhaled the blunt resting between his fingers. Now you were starting to feel actually comfortable.
“I didn’t mean it like that!” You hugged yourself while walking a little closer as well. “I meant someone so famous and admirable. We’re just very different.”
He appeared to think about it for a second and then signaled to a chair close to his with his almost fully smoked blunt, indicating you should sit down.
“I don’t think we’re that different, you and I.” He stated firmly, looking right into your eyes. You could feel your ears burning a bit, but naturally decided to just ignore it.
“We are very, very different…” you began right after you sat on the chair but stopped mid-sentence because you weren’t sure about how to adress him, which he somehow seemed to notice.
“Call me whatever, I literally don’t care.” Usually that sentence would’ve sounded harsh due to its very nature, but coming out of his mouth it didn’t make you feel any of those things. He meant it, he didn’t seem to mind at all.
“Is Colson alright?” He nodded while inhaling the last puff out of his blunt. "ye's fine."
You could feel once again the air filling up with awkwardness, but you weren't gonna let it. It's not every day you get to have a one-on-one conversation with THE Machine Gun Kelly.
"Tell me something about you."You spat before you could think twice about it. He frowned, unsure of what you meant."Tell me something you'd like me to know about you. Something I shouldn't know, or something you've never said to anyone. Tell me something about you." You stared right into his cerulean gaze."Anything."
He laughed outloud, strong peals of laughter filling the room. You wondered how come this was better than all the songs he performed at the concert--the sound of his laugh."What's so funny?"
"You were so shy like a second ago and now you're asking shit like that." He pointed, still slightly smiling. "Why do you want to know?"
"Because I do." You quickly replied, simply. "It's not every day a girl gets to be face to face with the one and only MGK."
Colson's smile became a mere smirk. You could tell he was thinking what could he possibly tell you.
"I make music for myself" he spat suddenly ", not for the fans. For me. The fact that they---you like it is just a plus. It's what helps me sleep at nights."
When you asked him to give you something you certainly weren’t expecting something half as deep as that.
"I guess we never really think you celebrities have demons as bad as that... not for real, anyway. Thanks for sharing that with me, you obviously didn't have to."
"Well, there's not much of a point. Not like we'll be meeting again." As he said this, the realization came down to you. You were not meeting again. You felt your heart irrationally sink.
"Still I appreciate i-" his raspy voice interrupted you before she could finish the sentence.
"Your turn."
"Sorry?"
"Your turn. Tell me some spicy shit about you, something not many people know."
Your mind went blank. Something about you no one knows? You were a rather private person so there were a bunch of things people didn't know, but which to pick? He shared a deep one so it was only fair and right for you to do the same.
"I love when it rains at night." His square-ish smile welcomed the statement.
"Dude, how is that deep?" You breathed in as you took long blinking.
"I was going to kill myself. It was like midnight or something, I had the pills ready and I was lying on my bedroom floor. There's a big skylight on the ceiling, you know? I was about to take them when suddenly it started raining." He wasn't really smiling anymore."And that made me smile. I like night time, and I like it when it rains, so together it's like... I don't know. I love it. And I realized if i did it, i was not going to be able to see the nightsky while it's raining, hear the drops of rain against the buildings and the ground. Nor would I smile again.”
"Now that is deep." He walked towards a metalic table and poured two glasses of what seemed to be gin. He then walked toward you and offered you one."I guess we’re not so different after all… Cheers to that."
You took it while smiling, mumbling "cheers to that, indeed" as your glasses clinked.
"Why did you tell me that?" He asked after taking a few sips. You shrugged and took another sip, looking up into his blue irises and feeling yourself getting lost in them.
"You said so yourself, it's not like we'll ever meet again. Might as well do some trauma dumping." You both laughed at the joke---self-deprecating humor is something you could instantly say you had in common.
"I like you, y/n. We might actually have to meet again." Your heart skipped a bit as he said that. Had you heard right? You somehow managed to keep your cool.
"Why? You just said we were never meeting again." You sighed. "I hope it's not pitty because of what I just told you."
"It ain't. You just peaked my interest. No one'd managed to do that for a while." He stared right into your eyes as he said that. Made you shiver.
"So we meet and what?" You asked, your heart running inside your chest.
"And we have a drink, what the fuck else?"
"Isn't there some rule that forbids you from doing shit like that, anyway?"You asked, genuinely curious.
"Ain't rules meant to be broken?" He answered and smirked before walking to the table once again and refilling his glass. He looked at you and softly swung the bottle in your direction, silently offering, but you shook your nead no since you hadn't finished the previous serving. "So what do you say? Tomorrow midnight at your favorite club?"
Pairings: Past Machine Gun Kelly x Reader, Opie x Reader
Warnings: Swearing
Word Count: 2,348
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rest of your pregnancy flew by in the blink of an eye. Between taking care of Gage, working odd jobs, spending time with Opie, and the religious visits from a very sober Colson, time just slipped away from you. Before you knew it, you were scheduling your c-section for Zoey Rose to join the world.
“You look ridiculous.” You giggled as you looked over at Colson when he joined you in the delivery room. The tattooed father of your children simply shrugged as he adjusted the mask on his face.
“I fucking feel it, too.” He laughed as he took the seat beside your head to wait for his daughter to be born. He met your eyes and sighed with a small shake of his head. “Thank you.”
“For?”
“Letting me be here for this.” He replied as he reached out to take your hand before catching himself and putting his hand back in his lap. “Not asking Lurch to be here…”
“She’s your daughter, Colson.” You breathed as the doctor let you know he was starting. “Not his.”
“I know.” He said as he leaned around the drape to look at what was going on. “But you still could have asked him to be here instead of me. He is your boyfriend after all.”
“And that still doesn’t change the fact that you are her father.” You replied as you searched his eyes. “No matter what is going on between us, we are still her parents. Thats what the custody agreement says. And her DNA and all that shit.”
“I know.” He sighed as he looked back around the drape, cringing the slightest bit at what he saw. “Still… thank you.” You nodded your head and looked up at the ceiling with a small sigh.
“You guys ready to meet your daughter?” The doctor asked, making Colson stand up from his spot so he could see better. “Here she is.” Your breath caught in your lungs as you waited for that first cry, and when Zoey finally released her first noise, tears welled in your eyes. You looked over at Colson as he was handed your daughter and a smile stretched across your face.
“Holy fuck.” He gasped as his heart expanded to fit all the love he felt for his second born. “Holy shit, look at you! You’re beautiful.”
“Lemmie see.” You choked as you watched them. He nodded his head and sat back down so that he could show you your child’s sweet face, but you shook your head. “No, put her on my chest, Colson. Let me see.”
“She’s perfect.” He whispered as he laid her across your chest as carefully as he could. He kept his hand on her side, afraid to even look away as you gently brushed your fingertips across the top of her head. The two of you basked in her adorableness for a long moment as she cried her little heart out before the nurse had to take her. The moment she was out of your sight, Colson shook his head frantically.
“Don’t take them.” He begged as he sat back down on the stool and grabbed your hand. “Please. I’m literally begging you, (Y/N). Don’t take my kids to North Carolina. Please, I’ll do anything…”
“Colson…”
“I’ll pay your rent and all your bills.” He pleaded as he gripped your hand tight and searched your eyes. “I’ll stop calling your boyfriend Lurch. I’ll get completely sober and never touch another drug again. I’ll literally do anything you want me to do just please, please stay here with them. I can’t…”
“OK.” You interrupted as you squeezed his hand as tightly as you could. “OK, just breathe. I…”
“Please.” He begged again as he reached out to cup your jaw in his hand. “Please.” With a small shake of your head, you looked at his tense posture and searched his eyes as you pulled your face out of his palm.
“I’ll think about it and talk to Opie.” You sighed. He nodded his head and wiped a tear off his face, which made your heart break for him.
“OK.” He agreed with a nod as he put a bit of physical distance between the two of you. “Thats all I’m asking.” With a nod of agreement, you looked back up at the ceiling with your mind reeling at his request.
~~~~~~~~~~
“She is beautiful.” Opie said as he sat in the recliner seat in your hospital room the next morning, holding Zoey in his arms with a smile on his face. You nodded in agreement with a small smile on your face as he glanced up at you. His brow furrowed and he tilted his head to the side the slightest bit. “Whats wrong?”
“Colson dropped a bomb in the delivery room.” You sighed as you ran your fingers through your hair. You covered your face with your hands and swore softly before carefully turning on the bed to face your boyfriend. “He’s willing to pay our rent and all our bills for the foreseeable future, to get sober, even to even stop calling you Lurch if we agree to not move to North Carolina with the kids.” He groaned and sat back in his chair while shaking his head.
“Babe…”
“Opie, they’re his kids.” You breathed as you twisted your hands in your lap and looked down at your tattooed skin. “I get where he is coming from…”
“Babe, so do I.” He interrupted, making you look up at him. “I get it. Look, I know we live together but I am not the father of Gage and Zoey. That’s his title and always will be. I can completely understand where he is coming from not wanting his children to move half way across the country. But you have sole physical custody of these babies. You do. So it is up to you on what you want to do…”
“Opie…”
“No, it’s true.” He interrupted gently as he got up and came over to sit with you on the hospital bed so he could put his arm around you. “We both hate L.A.. That’s no secret. But the father of your kids is here. We both have jobs here and friends here. Sure your family is there, but your kids’ family is here. So I get why you would want to stay for their sake, especially after everything Colson has done to be a present father the last few months.” You nodded at at him with tears in your eyes and he smirked and shook his head. “Baby girl, to be completely honest, I knew two months ago that we weren’t moving home. I could see it in your eyes when you stopped looking for houses for us to rent or buy back home. And I’m OK with that. Truly, I am.”
“I don’t know what to do!” You cried as a few tears slipped from your eyes. He smiled and rubbed your back with a small nod.
“Yea you do, baby. That’s the thing. You’ve known what you wanted to do for a while now, you just didn’t want to see it yourself yet. You just feel bad because you told your family you were coming back and now you’re not. Like I said, I get it. You want your kids to have their father in their lives more than what the custody agreement says because he has been in their life in a positive way. You still love him enough that you don’t want to break his heart and take them away. That’s OK. I’m not upset…”
“You’re not?” You sniffled as you searched his eyes for a hint of a lie.
“No, baby girl. I’m not.” He chuckled as he glanced down at Zoey in his arms before looking back at you. “(Y/N), I love you. And I know you love me, too. There isn’t a doubt in my mind about that. But you still love the father of your children. Not in the same capacity, but you do love him. And you don’t want to break his heart by moving across the country with his kids. I get it. I am here for you either way, same as I always have been and always will be.”
“Ope…”
“I know.” He said as he pulled you into his side and kissed the top of your head. “I know.”
“You’re too good for me.” You whispered as you put your hand on his knee and gave it a little squeeze.
“I’m not good enough.” He whispered back against your hair before reaching between you to tilt your face up so he could kiss you properly.
“You really knew we weren’t going to move two months ago?” You asked against his lips as you opened your eyes to search his. He smirked and nodded his head.
“I know you, baby girl.”
“And you’re OK with staying here?”
“I’m OK with it.” He said as he pulled away to look back at whoever was knocking at the door. “This is our home, like it or not. Come in!”
“Hey.” Colson said softly as he stepped into the room, sheepishly. “I… um… well I brought breakfast and I thought…”
“Just get in here.” You laughed as you wiped the tears off your cheeks and carefully maneuvered back into bed. “Ooo bagels. Gimme!” Your ex handed you the bag before carefully taking Zoey from Opie, who quietly left the room to give you a minute with your ex. You started spreading smear on a toasted bagel and glanced up with a sigh. “We’re gunna stay.”
“What?!” Colson gasped as he whipped around to look at you with wide, tear filled eyes. “For real?”
“For real.” You said as you rested your wrist on your hospital table.
“Thank fuck.” He sighed as he sank down on the bed near your knees and let his tears spill over. “Thank you. I swear, I’ll…”
“You…” You interrupted as you glanced down at your daughter. “Just need to be a father to your kids. That’s all. You don’t have to pay my rent or whatever, just keep being there for your kids. Preferably sober.”
“I will.” He sniffled as you took a bite of your bagel and sat back against the bed. “I fucking swear it.”
~~~~~~~~~~~
“So you’re not moving back to North Carolina now.” Your dad asked as he sat in your living room, helping Gage hold his baby sister in his lap. You sheepishly shook your head and searched what you could see of his eyes.
“Are you mad?”
“Not mad.” He said with a shake of his head as he looked up at you. “Not particularly happy, but not mad at all.”
“Their father is here.” You sighed as you ran your fingers through your hair and curled up in your spot on the couch. “And I just…”
“I get it.” He said with a nod as he looked back down at his grand babies with love in his eyes.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He said quickly as he shook his head and looked back up at you. “As a parent, I get it. It’s the whole reason Anne and I didn’t move closer to her parents when we got married. Because I needed to be close to my kids. You are realizing that your kids need to be close to their father. It’s no different. It’s also very grown up of you.”
“That feels like a trap.” You huffed, which made him smile.
“Parenting is a trap, sweetheart.” He chuckled as he quickly took Zoey from Gage, who wanted to go play with his toys again before a nap. “As is co-parenting.”
“Yea well, I knew that.” You giggled as Tabby came over after finishing the lunch dishes.
“You’re not getting back together, right?” She asked as she sat down beside you sideways on the couch.
“Not a fucking chance in hell.”
“Well then I think it’s admirable.” She sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair with a smile. “You’re being the bigger person.”
“What are you gunna do about work then?” Ross asked as he sat back in his spot and got comfortable.
“Well… I have a couple minor guest spots on TV shows and a music video lined up after my Criminal Minds episode aired. And I think Dolce and Gabbana wants me to walk their runway in the spring. So I have a couple things. I’m also thinking about doing… other things to supplement.”
“What’s that mean?” Your dad asked, which made you blush.
“Porn, daddy.” Tabby answered for you. “She means porn.”
“Not porn!” You hissed as you whacked her leg while your dad cleared his throat and blushed hard. “It’s like modeling for Penthouse…”
“So porn.” Your sister repeated with a smirk, which made you scowl.
“Modeling tastefully nude.” You hissed with a glance over at your son to make sure he wasn’t listening. “For the Suicide Girls and Penthouse. Not porn.”
“(Y/N) (Y/M/N)…” Your dad scolded, which made you blush this time.
“It’s a job that I’m good at.” You sighed as you looked at your dad, while your sister smirked gleefully at your side. “And one I like doing. I like modeling, dad.”
“And you have to do it… naked?!” He whispered the last word, which made you and your sister both laugh.
“I’m done having this conversation with you old man.” You laughed as Opie came in through the garage after work. Your dad muttered ‘thank God’ under his breath as you smiled up at your significant other. “How was the shoot?”
“Good. What are you two laughing at?”
“Nothing.”
“(Y/N)’s love of modeling naked.” Tabby said at the same time, which made you turn to whack her leg again.
“Awkward.” Opie chuckled as he kissed your forehead on his way around the couch to put his camera bag down in its spot on the built in bookshelf behind his desk.
“Very awkward.” Your dad agreed with a nod of his head.
