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“I’m Here, Go Back to Sleep”
MGK x Female Reader
Warnings - None. Just pure fluff!
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Waking up to an empty bed these days wasn’t unusual these days, with the album deadline slowly creeping up day by day, Colson spent almost all of his hours in the studio, working himself to the bone to produce an album everyone can enjoy.
With your own workplace continuously overworking you, sleep or time didn’t come easily to you either. You couldn’t remember the last time both you and Colson had actually spent more than a few minutes at a time together in the same room and it was starting to become very lonely.
Leaving the cold and empty bed, after another night of hopeless tossing and turning, you sigh and drag yourself downstairs to the kitchen. Preparing for another day to survive on coffee you make one for both yourself and your boyfriend who didn’t even leave the studio last night. It was most likely he fell asleep there in the very early hours of the morning.
While the lack of sleep wasn’t new for Colson, it certainly was for you and you could feel it slowly starting to affect your mind and body.
You grab him a change of clothes, a blanket for yourself and his favourite aftershave before crossing over from the house into the converted studio space.
With the band already in session, you slipped in almost undetected, but as always, your eyes caught Colson’s immediately. You give him a small smile and walk over to give him what you had brought over.
“Babe, what are you doing up so early? You look exhausted” he whispers as he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.
You let out a small laugh and set yourself down on the closest chair.
“Gee, thanks Col”
After a quick clothes change and the others leaving in search for food, Colson calls you over to the desk he’s working at.
“Come, let me hold you” he mumbles, stretching his long arms out in your direction.
Wrapping the blanket tightly around you, you walk over to your lover and wrap yourself around him so you were straddling him. He holds you tightly and sways gently.
“You need to get some proper rest, baby, you are going to make yourself ill” he tells you softly.
You giggle to yourself at his concern for you, knowing full well he wouldn’t take his own advice even if you begged him.
“I’ll rest when you do” is your answer and you can practically feel him rolling his eyes at you, despite not actually being able to see him as you rest your head in the crook of his neck.
The two of you sit there quietly, as colson continues to sway you and hum a track from the new album into your ear.
Despite not being able to sleep properly, something about being in colson’s arms after so long, settles you and you cannot fight the call of sleep that beckons you. Your eyes close slowly and without protest as you rest against the frame of your man, the feeling of safely enveloping you.
Colson smiles down at you, tenderly, the look of frustration and stress leaving your features as you snore lightly.
He would be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t missed these small intimate moments with you and did feel quite guilty for not making more time for you while in the process of doing this next album. You never once complained and took everything in your stride which is on of the many things he loved about you.
He couldn’t wait to look after you and treat you to something special as a way of thanks for all your support when the album was complete.
His train of thought was interrupted as he heard everyone coming back to continue the session. He panicked slightly as they all barged through the door and glared at them in an effort to silence the rowdiness they were currently displaying.
“Shhh! She hasn’t slept properly in weeks and I swear if any one of you wake her up! …” Colson hisses at his friends, before looking down at you to ensure you were still peacefully sleeping.
Slim is the first to put his hands up in mock surrender, a smirk plastered on his face as he leads the group back out the door, but he was secretly glad that this would mean Colson would be forced to take a break, even if it was just an hour or so. He knew he definitely needed one.
Once alone again, Colson lifts you up with ease and carries you over to the sofa, laying you down and climbing in beside you. He wraps his arms back around you settles in. The movement causes you to stir slightly, your eyes still closed you mumble for your boyfriend not to leave you.
The sun is shyly trying to make an appearance at your curtains, too scared that it might be left out again after so many days of darkness. Some rays already are entering the room through a small gap in the fabric, making their way to reveal the dark scenario it's inside. You are all curled up on the bathroom floor, knees tied up to your chest and you are slowly rocking back and forth trying to calm your sickness down. You sigh, feeling that sharp pain at the pit of your stomach which is telling you are far from being okay. Your hands are gripping your legs so hard that you can feel your nails digging into it and leaving bloody marks on your pale skin. He would have said that you are too pale to even look alive and you would have given back that he should be the last to speak of that. You gulp at the idea of him talking to you, which has not been happening for the past 8 months, and which is now leading you to a spiral downward knowing that he got better, healthier and is somehow engaged to some sort of goddess, fact that won't let a chat between the two of you happen ever again. You lean against the wall behind you, the cold tiles reliving some of the pain in your back, supporting you as you feel that you might just lose it again. Your pulse is slower, you can feel your senses slow drift but your mind is well awake and it keeps showing you the moments before his last dance through your apartment door.
Are you serious?”
“Do you think I'm not? Is there any evidence in my eyes that tells you I am not serious?” you are crying your heart out as you just spelled the words.
“It's just I cannot believe you're doing me this.”
“What? What am I doing to you? Can't we just stop and take a moment to see what you're doing to me?”
“Who's the one bringing our relationship to an end?”
“Me because of you! Can't you see how broken you are?”
“You should be and stay here to help me, not letting me down!”
“The only way I can help you is leaving you! Because if I don't you won't ever see how much help you actually need. It's not about got, it's about you.”
“Fine, then I'll go. But I won't be you anymore once I'll get better.”
“You're not getting the point of this, Colson. You think I just want to let you down or go which is the very last thing I'd do right now but I love you so much and I have to think about your health first.”
“Apparently I am too high on something to get that, it must have been hard for you to bear with it for all these years.”
“You want the truth? Yes, it has been, because you'll never know what it feels like to love someone so much and watch them slowly destroy themselves this way.”
At this point you're hurting so much that you think you might get a heart attack just by looking at his face. He's sweating from nervousness peaking up on him, hands shaking as he frantically picks up the few clothes being at your flat.
“I thought you were here to help me also get through this.”
“I am but it has become too much and I am slowly drifting in your same direction and it's not taking us anywhere good. Can't you really see it?”
“And what if I get better and I won't want you anymore?” words are stuck in your throat as you try to speak. His rage starts to build up and his stare, softer before, is becoming like a knife pointing at your stomach.
“Well, I guess I'll have to bear with it..”
"Yes, you'll have to because I am telling you that I won't ever need you anymore.” he pronounced those words right into your face, at just 1 inch from your mouth, his cologne filling your lungs as his wild eyes pierced right through yours with anger and disappointment.
It's funny how we are so good at keeping the most painful memories with us: you still remember your last I love you whispered at the sight of him forever walking out of your life, never heard and never taken but you cannot remember the last time he hugged or kissed you. You don't think you've ever deserved it, after all, and the memory of that it's now too unbearable to be even reminisced. He's always been way too much to even be real, and not necessarily in all the positive ways. You wanted him so bad, you really loved him of a one-of-a-kind love and because of that you had to let him go to make him focus on himself, his health and his path to an addiction-free life. You are happy he made it after all - even though without you. Even though you're now throwing up for the fourth time in a single day wishing that you could just go back in time and hold him one last time telling one more I love you before it was too late.
You jump on the floor at the loud knock on your door. Your cheek is placed on the bathroom floor, still wet from the tears of your previous panic attack. The knocks get louder and even more frequent but you cannot, in any way, find any strength to stand up and walk to the door even though you're trying your best to recollect a bit of decency and at least try to properly breathe. As you do that you can hear it getting slammed on the wall, a vase of flowers breaking into pieces as frantic footsteps wander in your apartment. You keep your eyes shut as voices start to mix up, your head is spinning becauseit's not making any sense and when you’re about to faint again you hear someone, many someones in fact, screaming your name and just one really hits you hard. He keeps calling you and you have no strength left to answer, to tell him that you are there, that he just needs to go a step forward. His footsteps are going everywhere in your apartment but there where you're laying, tears now almost choking you as you keep hearing him looking for you. Your gasps seem to be loud enough for him to be heard and there he is.
“She's here! Oh my God!” his voice cracks up as soon as he speaks and he immediately runs to you.
"Colson..” it's just a whisper but he hears it very well. He leans over you, moving your hair behind your ear to let you hear him good enough say “I'm here”.
The light is warm and so it's the blanket covering both of you, your head resting on the pillow as you slowly try to recollect enough strength to stay awake and talk to him. He's just two inches away from your body, paying attention not to touch you but not even letting one inch more widening the gap, resting his hands on his lap, his elbow shyly approaching yours. His breath is steady and slow and you try to use it as a pacer for your own which is still frantic from before. You are still thinking it might be a dream and that he could disappear anytime soon and you would very much use this time to wrap yourself around him and tell him anything you need to say, before a break into your rem phase occurs and ruins it all.
“I was scared. Like not just scared but fucking scared. Why the hell did you not answer all the day long? To your mother, brother, sister, friends. I was.. I mean.. I thought.. ugh.”
You did not expect so many words coming from him so you just need a moment to recollect the memories of the past 36 hours.
“Uhm.. I don't know, I wasn't feeling very well.” he sighs and sits straight on the bed, his back facing you as he takes his head in his hands, not really knowing how to handle the rage building inside.
“Then why the fuck didn't you tell anybody? Do you know how hell worried I was? You always think that nobody cares and it's not such a big deal but it fucking is.”
“We haven't been talking for months now so I didn't think it could be of such interest for you to know I wasn't okay. And I think it's pretty clear that I'm not.”
“If I'm not talking to you it doesn't mean I don't care.”
“How the hell could I know that, Colson? Sorry but I do not get your point.”
“Then you think you could just disappear and I would be fine with that?” he's spitting these words out as if they were the worst joke ever heard. You also sit up to look into his eyes and you mentally curse yourself because now you're lost. They are so bright and yet now so dark, hurt and disappointed. You remember that look on his face the same day he had enough of you and you just can't take it.
“Yes” you whisper it as you try to stop the tears from falling. You still feel the salty traces on your cheeks from the previous panic attacks and in this very moment you realize how much of a mess you must be now.
“You're crazy.”
“Then why are you even here? Why were you looking for me? Why did you have to find me passed out on the bathroom floor just to tell me I'm crazy?!”
“I didn't mean to be here for this. - he gulps as he says that and immediately stares at his hands, fingers playing wildly as he tries to find the right words, suddenly too nervous to look at you but too excited to stay calm - I was.. I mean.. I wanted to ask you if we could talk. I texted you but I got no reply. I thought it was fair and okay at first so I tried to call you but, again, no answer. Once, twice, thee, ten, twenty times so something should have surely happened. I called your family, best friend, colleagues, no one could fucking reach you so I did one last thing. - his voice cracks at this point - I would have done any-fucking-thing to find you. Even if for one last time.” and there it goes, the total breakdown, the ace to the longest tennis match, the real knockout: him bursting out crying right in front of you. He's never been one into tears, you could count the times on the fingers of one hand and all of them were joyful and enriched with largely positive emotions. But these ones are different and you don't really know how to handle them.
“Why?” you whisper, once again, as if the room was full of people overhearing the most precious conversation. He just wipes his face with the back of his hand covered with one of those sweatshirts you stole so many times. It hurts seeing it, thinking he might have just taken it back from his new girlfriend’s closet, now filled with his cologne. He sighs and looks at you with the most dangerously warm, dense stare.
“You were right. Getting on this path was very much needed: I regained health, focus, passion, reason but most of all myself. I can now sense my feelings, almost touch them and I've got to give a name to many of them. But there's one which has been missing to finally finish the puzzle and it was because I didn't have the matching part with me.”
“Which?” he stares at you, eyes firing up as his iris find their way to open yours and run down the stairs which directly lead to the centre of your hidden universe. Your heart is pounding so loud that you fear he might hear it and run away knowing that you still love him so much and that did not learn the lesson. He left you once and he might just do it one more time, not bearing the thought of you being so into something that you should have long forgotten. But his hand is now burning against your cheek while the other easily finds its way to your waist, bringing you impossibly close to him as if you were the one about to run away. Your chest is now against his, sculpted and yet so soft and warm, your arms wrapped around his neck and fingers interlocked to his hair.
“You.”
“What?”
“It's you I was missing.” and with that you're kissing, in an expression of pure poetism you are tasting the bittersweet feeling of love that it takes so much from you only to reconvert it into something more powerful that is given back with such force to which you can only surrender. His lips are so eager to be on yours, him tasting better than ever as you pull him closer, not knowing if this will last and wanting any inch of him being impressed on you as the cage that's now covering the paintings on his body. His heart is wild but so is loving him, the craziest rollercoaster you've ever been on, the most difficult hike ever invented yet so easy to climb on because he's just there.
“Then.. I mean I heard you had a new one.”
“New what?”
“Girlfriend, stupid.” he looks at you, hands still wandering on your back. Ugh.
“Yeah.. I might have” you try to push him away “if you agree to be with me.” you sigh so loud.
“Oh my gosh I hate you!” his laugh fills the hair as he starts tickling you so hard that you're completely out of breath. Now for a good reason, at least.
A/N: there will 100% be another part to this but I wanted to make this chapter a big angsty with some fluff, so enjoy! Smut to follow 😉
“Oh no, oh no, oh fuck,” you mumble to yourself over and over again.
You stumble out of the bed to pull your jeans on, the room spinning. You’re pretty sure you’re still slightly drunk or your chaotic mind is just causing your body to spiral. You listen carefully for any sounds outside your door but hear nothing but silence. You hold your shoes firmly in your hand, making sure you can make a completely soundless getaway. Whether you’re still drunk or hungover, you know for a fact that you’re not ready to face Colson right now.
You peer out into the hallway as you slowly open the door, ensuring the coast is truly clear. You can hear the soft sounds of snoring coming from behind the door opposite you and you’re glad you don’t have to face any of your friends either. You’re not sure if Colson would’ve told them what you’d said and you’d really rather not know. Ignorant bliss is definitely the vibe you’re going for.
You pad quietly to the stairs and haphazardly glide your way down them. You’re fairly sure you’ve succeeded in escaping your hell on earth, when the sound of someone clearing their throat smacks you as you reach the front door. You turn with a cringe and come face to face with your worst nightmare. A very bewildered Colson stares you down, catching you again trying to sneak away. You try your best not to look like a deer in headlights.
“I think we should talk,” Colson declares in a confident tone of voice and your stomach drops.
You nod and bite your bottom lip, following him to the backyard. The sun hasn’t quite risen so you’re greeted by the most beautiful sunrise, the worst backdrop for the conversation you’re about to have. You want to make the whole situation less awkward by taking back everything you said last night but you just can’t bring yourself to say it.
“You’re awake early,” you speak for the first time since he caught you and you know by the look on his face that Colson is not in the mood for small talk.
“I never went to sleep,” he admits with an edge to his voice. “I had a lot on my mind.”
You flinch because you can definitely hear the accusation in his tone. You want to apologise and try to blame it on the alcohol but you know that won’t help the situation. You don’t know how to make it better but you’re desperate to try.
“Can we just forget the whole thing?” you beg, trying to hide your desperation. Colson’s eyes soften slightly but his jaw stays tense.
“We can’t do that and you fucking know it Y/N,” he scolds you disapprovingly. You let out a puff of air you didn’t know you were holding and brace yourself for what is about to come. “I’ve spent so much of my adult life being used by people. People that want me to help boost their career, their ego, their hunger for recognition. I’ve tried so hard to work out the users from the real people in my life and tried so hard to surround myself with people who genuinely care about me and I thought you were one of those people.”
“I-“ you start but Colson holds up his hand to silence you.
“I thought you were my friend, one of my best fucking friends, because you wanted to be. It turns out that you only wanted to be around me so you could feed some fucking sick fantasy you had of us being more than friends. You used me for your fucking hormones, to get yourself off in a fucking toilet cubicle. Do you know how dirty that makes me feel!?”
You don’t know what to say to him. He took what you said in such a twisted way that you’re not even sure how to defend yourself. Then again, in your drunken rambling, you’re not really sure how well you actually explained yourself. You’re pretty sure you used the word ‘love’ but then you did stumble into a rant about masturbating after the concert that you could’ve probably left out entirely.
“I’m sorry,” you hang your head in shame as the ramifications of your confession hits you like a ton of bricks.
In what you thought was a cute, albeit dirty revelation, you do remember saying that being friends with him was ok because it just meant you got to be around him. In what you thought was a sweet compliment, was actually a sick way of saying ‘I’ll pretend to be your friend because I like creating fantasies of us in my mind after I hang out with you’. Not the most glowing endorsement for what you treasure as a truly fulfilling friendship.
“Just fucking leave,” he mumbles, turning away from you to look at the sunrise. Your cheeks heat with shame and you stumble to your feet, collecting your belongings as quickly as you can. “You know what the worst fucking part is?” he asks you with a humourless chuckle. You shake your head at his question. “If you’d told me how you felt, I probably would’ve just let you down gently and we could’ve just been really good friends because, let’s be honest with each other, you and me would never work.”
Well that fucking cuts deep.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” you feel your blood boiling but you’re trying your best to stay calm.
“Oh come on honey, be serious for a moment. I’m an international musician with albums and awards and sold out stadium tours and you’re a scrappy misfit who wiggled your way into our group because we felt sorry for you.”
“Jesus Christ, Colson! You can be pissed off at me but you don’t have to be fucking cruel.”
You can feel the tears burning in your eyes. Your whole life you’ve just wanted to fit in and find your people. You finally thought you’d achieved that with your friends. He can’t really mean what he’s saying, can he? He’s just lashing out to make himself feel better about what’s happening right now. He’s not really this heartless. You know him well enough to know that he’s not a nasty person. He’s the kindest, gentlest person you’ve ever met, he’s just hurt.
“I kept you around because I felt sorry for you and I made everyone else be nice to you because of it.”
“Bullshit,” your voice cracks and you sniffle. “No, I don’t believe you.”
“Why not, silly girl?” he laughs but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“Ashleigh and Sophie would never pretend to be my friend just to keep you happy.”
Suddenly, Colson is on his feet and right in your face, mere inches separating the two of you.
“Yes, they fucking would because that’s what real friends do for each other.”
“No, you’re just scared.”
“Scared? What the fuck do I have to be scared about?”
“Losing me.”
Colson sits back down and scoffs with such fake indignation that it finally dawns on you exactly what he’s doing. He’s protecting himself to keep from feeling exactly what is happening. He’s losing a best friend, that he believes completely betrayed him and spent their whole friendship pretending it was something it wasn’t. You see the frightened little boy behind the bravado and ego. You see what he is truly feeling behind those deep blue eyes.
You immediately feel burdened with this unbelievable guilt that you’re willing to do anything to make it go away. You want to hold him, take away all the sadness he’s feeling. Literally transfer it from him to you to lessen all of his pain.
You ease yourself forward slightly, not really sure what your full plan is but relying on pure instinct to get you through. Colson eyes you suspiciously but doesn’t stand to move himself away from you. Curiosity undercutting the frown that has taken over his face. You lightly place your hand on his cheek and he flinches away from your touch. You try to not let that bruise your ego or diminish your confidence. You lean closer to him and lightly feather your lips across his cheek, trying so hard to convey everything you’re feeling in that one small gesture. As you pull away slowly, the temptation of his lips being so close is hard to resist. You feel as though you may win the battle until his lips part slightly and you’re drawn to them like a moth to a flame.
You press your lips to his, a fire igniting inside you as your fantasy meets your reality. Your lips graze Colson’s for a few moments before he abruptly pulls away, standing so suddenly, the chair clatters to the ground behind him. You drop your hand to your side and bite your bottom lip as he stares at you for a moment. You expect him to blast you again, yell at you for trying to take advantage of him in a vulnerable state but instead he reaches for your hand and pulls you flush against him.
“Do that again,” he begs you and you can’t believe what you’re hearing.
You place your hand back on his cheek and you lean up on your tippy toes to slowly close the gap between your lips again. You brush your lips against his and he parts them slightly, allowing you deeper access to explore. You run your tongue along the seam of Colson’s lips and he moans into your mouth. You run your hand up his cheek and into his hair, locking your fingers into the locks of hair at the base of his head. He moans again as you tug slightly, taking the lead.
Colson wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you impossibly close to him. You feel his whole body, every ridge, every line pressed against you. He grabs your thigh to lift your leg so that it’s against his hip and he grinds into you. You groan against his lips and he smiles, repeating the motion which drags the same response from you.
You’re so caught in the moment that you’re not even really sure what’s happening right now. First he’s hurt by you, then he’s cruel to you and now he’s pressing his hardened cock against your core because he enjoys the animalistic sounds you make.
“Wait…” you moan between kisses. “Kells…can…you…” it takes every piece of your soul to pull away but you have to. “Stop!”
Colson immediately lets you go, stepping away panting and confused. He’s watching you with a look in his eyes you’ve never seen directed at you before. Need. You want to explore the depths of his need but his mood swings are hurting your brain and confusing your heart.
“Why are we stopping?” he pants and you can’t help but feel your heart swell at his simple question.
“Because I have no idea what the fuck that was and I feel like I’m playing catch-up right now. 2 minutes ago you were kicking me out of your life forever and now you’re kissing me and doing…other things,” you can feel yourself blushing and it makes him smile softly. “Call me crazy but that’s a pretty quick change in direction, even for you.”
Colson’s breathing evens out and he picks his chair back up from where he’d discarded it before, sitting back down. You stand in front of him, awkwardly playing with the hem of your t-shirt and waiting for him to speak. The silence seems to stretch on forever and you contemplate just leaving before he finally speaks.
“First of all, ouch, I’m not that indecisive. Secondly, why are you complaining? Isn’t this what you wanted? And thirdly, I…well I don’t know why. When you kissed me, something just clicked and I…no woman has ever turned me on that much with just a ghost of a kiss. Everything didn’t seem so fucked up for a second.”
“You like when I kiss you but you don’t think we’d work?”
You stare at him, your eyebrows pulled together in scepticism. If your head didn’t already hurt from your hangover, it definitely would from that logic or lack of.
“I mean I might just be a ‘silly girl’ and all,” Colson flinches as you throw his own words back in his face, “but even I find that a little hard to follow.”
“Ok, I’m not saying this to be a dick but I really only ever saw you as a friend. Up until last night I didn’t even register that you were a female until I saw you dancing on my coffee table-“
“Ouch!” you place your hand over your heart dramatically. His words don’t completely bother you but there is a part of you that wishes he hadn’t said it out loud.
“You know what I mean. Like I saw you as a friend not as this sexy woman. I didn’t really notice your seductive eyes and your sultry curves until suddenly they were right in front of me and I realised I had to hide my boner before anyone else noticed. I don’t know, something woke up in me and then you told me what you told me and I freaked.”
You look at him with your ‘seductive eyes’ and bite your bottom lip. You like this vulnerable, sexually charged Colson. It’s such a turn on to hear him talk about your body, to know you can get that kind of reaction from him with just a look and a wiggle of your hips. You can see him watching you, trying to read you, drinking you in like a man in the desert. You want so desperately to explore him, roam your tongue and your lips over his flesh but you don’t want to overwhelm either of you. That conversation was such a roller coaster of emotions and confessions that you need to let it all sink in. You’re pretty sure Colson is thinking the same as he leans back in his chair.
“Spend the day with me?” he asks softly, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck.
“Of course,” you smile and run your fingers across his cheek. His eyes flutter close at your touch and you can’t help the grin that takes over your face.
Synopsis: Presley and Colson fell in love accidentally, but they were meant to be. Now that all the obstacles have been removed, they're moving in together in LA. Now, they have all the time in the world for Colson to teach Presley all of the things he knows. This fic is the sequel to Mine, which can be found in my masterlist!
Warnings/Content: mentions of mental illness (PTSD, anxiety), mentions of therapy, short & sweet with fluff
I can't believe I'm wrapping up the second part of this story. It's wild to me how much y'all loved this and even more wild that I've decided to write a third part! You might be able to guess the title after reading the epilogue. Thank you all so very much for your support!
Colson
Three Months Later
Presley received a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD.
I should’ve seen it coming. All the signs were there. At least now we have a name for what’s happening, as well as a treatment plan.
Couples therapy once a week. Individual cognitive behavior therapy twice a week. Medication for panic attacks as needed as well as a daily anxiety pill. I find myself feeling very thankful for our financial situation. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to get help for people who don’t make much money. That’s why there's such a mental health crisis in our country. As mad as it makes me, I’m relieved that I can provide support for my wife.
At our first couples therapy session, we both cried. A lot. Presley admitted that she blames herself for the choice I almost made. She can’t let go of the fact that if Cash hadn’t shown up, I would’ve gone through with it. The therapist told her that if we always live in a world of what-ifs, then we can never live in the present. It’s something we’ve been working on ever since.
We’re closer than ever after what happened. We’re so good at talking things out and taking care of each other. We’re at the point where I can leave the house without Pres if I need to as long as I give her a heads up. It’s not like she’s “healed” yet. Healing is a long process but I’m confident we can get there.
The boys and I are going on tour finally. We delayed it because of everything that happened, but when we finally put tickets on sale, everything sold out fast. Somehow, the whole Megan situation brought us more fans. I’m not complaining. We’ve even added a couple of dates at bigger places and those are almost sold out, too. It’s crazy and surreal and I’m so proud of us.
Presley is going to come on tour with us, and this time, she’ll be around for the whole tour. I loved touring with Pres. I loved coming backstage to find her there, to catch her in my arms. It means so much to look out and see her smiling back at me, singing all my songs. It fills my heart with so much love that I don’t even know what to do with it.
We leave tomorrow. I’ve been packing all day and Presley is due home any time. She went out for lunch with Olivia. Once a week, she’s encouraged to leave the house without me. She’s been following the plan religiously and doing such a good job, but I do miss her. I can’t wait to see her, to hold her. I can’t wait to have her on tour with me.
Just as I zip up my suitcase, I hear the front door open and I smile, eager to see my girl. I rush out of my room and jog down the stairs, but I stop in my tracks when I see my wife. Something is off.
She stands stiffly in the doorway holding an envelope with something inside of it. My brow furrows as I glance at the envelope and then up at her face. She looks worried but also…happy? Her eyes are especially bright today.
“Pres?” I question, walking closer. I place my hands on her waist.
“Hey, babe,” she says quietly. Her voice shakes a little.
I frown at her. “What’s wrong?”
“I…um…” She bites her lip and then hands me the envelope. “Just open it.”
Confused, I take a step back from her so I have room to reach into the envelope. My brow furrows when I pull out…a Covid test? “Shit, baby,” I say, stomach dropping. “You have Covid?”
She shakes her head, face screwing up in confusion. “What? What are you talking about?”
“This is a positive Covid te–” I stop in my tracks when I realize what a fucking dumbass I am. I look at the test again, my eyes going so huge it must look comical. This is not a Covid test. No, it’s got a pink cap and a screen with a plus sign. I lift my eyes to Presley, my own dangerously close to shedding tears. “Presley…” I breathe.
Presley lets out a little laugh as her own eyes fill with tears. “Yeah.”
“Is this…this is real?” I ask, bouncing on my toes. “Are you sure?”
Presley giggles and the tears finally spill down her cheeks. “This is one of three tests I took. All positive,” she says. She takes it from my hand and sets it on a little table by our front door. Then, her jade eyes find mine again. “Colson,” she says, then takes a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”
Time stands still. My heart suddenly feels too big for my chest, like it’s going to explode out of me. My palms tingle and elation builds in my stomach. “R-really?” I ask quietly.
Presley nods, lip quivering, but she smiles. “We’re having a baby, Colson. You’re going to be a dad.”
It’s those words that finally break me out of my trance. I lunge forward and heave my girl into my arms. She shrieks as I lift her up, her legs surrounding my waist. I laugh and kiss her hard, rocking her in my arms. My tears spill out, too. A baby. I’m going to be a dad. We’re going to be parents.
“I know we’re going on tour and it’s not the best time,” she says breathlessly against my lips.
I shake my head. “It’s the perfect time,” I say, because I don’t care what’s happening in our lives. We’re having a baby. I laugh again and kiss her lips, holding the back of her head while my other arm holds her up.
“So you’re happy?” she asks.
“God, Pres,” I laugh. “I’m fucking ecstatic. This is the best day of my life!”
Presley laughs tearfully and nods. “Mine, too.”
“I love you,” I say, kissing her again. “So much.” When I pull back from the kiss, I glance down between us. I set Presley on her feet and sink to my knees. My hands go to her belly, still flat and toned, but soon enough, it’ll be perfectly round, carrying our child. I smile to myself and press a kiss to her belly. Presley runs her hands through my hair and looks at me lovingly.
I take a shaky breath and look at her stomach. “Little bean,” I say softly, “this world is yours.”
Summary: Your late night routine with Colson continues as you prepare for his daughter's visit, but feelings start to arise...
Word count: 2,200+
Feels: late night emotional feels
Warnings: Pure cheese
Companion playlist:
Machine Gun Kelly - Lately
Beck - Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime
Gavin Mikhail, LIEZA - I Like Me Better (Acoustic)
A/N: I haven't written in a long time because life has been busy/hard, so it might be a bit sloppy. I'd written a bunch of notes and paragraphs so have pulled this chapter together just about. Case's visit is the next chapter and it's part way there. Thank you for all the lovely messages I've received during my hiatus. You are all so appreciated 😘
_________
“Baze, you outdid yourself there!” Rook said, leaning back and rubbing his stomach
“Yeah, that shit was fucking fire” Colson adds, through his last mouthful of food
“So good! That’ll be a tough one to top tomorrow” Slim says appreciatively
“No problem guys, you know I’m happy to grill shit all day long” Baze laughs and jokingly salutes, soaking up all the praise for his cooking “Your turn tomorrow is it Kells?” he says, eliciting a laugh from the group as he nudges Colson
“If y’all are happy with burnt toast or mac n cheese, then I’m ya man” he replies
“Yeah, I think it’s safe to say we can leave the cooking to the rest of us masterchef” you tease as you stick your tongue out at Colson, laughing when he flips you his middle finger.
Baze stands up from the table and picks up his plate and Rook’s
“Ah don’t worry about that dude, I said I’ll clean up tonight. The chef doesn’t do the dishes” you say, gesturing towards the plates in his hands “You guys go chill, I’ll sort this”
The guys stand up and leave the table, thanking you as they head back into the house. Colson stays behind and starts stacking up dishes on the table
“Making yourself useful for once are you?” you tease him again
Putting the plates back down on the table in a playful strop, he replies
“You’re well too cheeky today. You want my help or not kid?”
You hold your hands up “Okay, okay. I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth”
Colson sat on the kitchen counter while you rinsed everything and loaded the dishwasher, scrolling through his phone when it started ringing
“Hey-yo, it’s Case!” he says excitedly, as he answers the FaceTime call
“Hey Princess, how’s my girl?”
“Hey Dad. I’m okay, just watched Popstar again” she says laughing
“Argh, again? How many times you gonna watch that? That movie is cheese” he groans
Caise laughs “It’s corny but I love it. Whatcha doing?”
“We just finished eating and I’m helping Y/N do the dishes”
“He’s not helping” you say in the background
She gasps, excited “Is Y/N there? Let me see her”
“Hey Case” you wave as he turns the phone round so she can see you
“Hiiii” she says “I can’t wait to see you!”
“Hey!” Colson pouts, turning the phone back to himself “You didn’t even say that to me”
“Daaaad, put Y/N back on a sec. I can’t wait to see you too duh” she replies
“I see how it is” he says, and passes the phone to you
“Guess what Case, I ordered some coconuts with the food delivery after you mentioned you wanted to try some the other day”
“Yes!” she says “I saw loads of tiktoks of people drinking from them. I’ve never tried it!”
“You got more dances to teach me?” Casie was obsessed with learning tiktok dances
“Yeah, I’ve been practising. Can you do some of the makeover ones with me? Like where we do my hair and stuff?”
“Of course, we can do a girls day. Although, I’m sure your dad would let you give him a makeover” you say, sticking your tongue out at Colson as you move over to where he’s sitting so you’re both on camera
“No point arguing with you two is there” he says, putting his arm round your shoulder
“Hey Case, what time is your flight?” he asks
“I think it gets to LA at 15:00. I’ll check with Mom and I’ll text yoooou” she replies
“Okay little special girl, can’t wait. We’ll see you Thursday”
“See you soon. Love you Dad. Oh, love you too Y/N. Byeeee”
You both respond “Love you too” in unison as she waves goodbye and hangs up.
Colson still has his arm around your shoulder when he says “You wanna hit the studio?”
“Sure thing” you reply “Get down and help me load the dishwasher then”
“Yes boss” he says, causing you to roll your eyes as he salutes you and jumps down from the counter
________
You check your phone and see it’s gone midnight. “You know, we’re gonna have to kick these late nights while Casie is here. Can’t be doing our usual sleeping til 2pm, she’s gonna have loads of ideas of stuff she wants to do while she’s here” you say, looking over at Colson, reclining back in his seat with his feet on the desk and smoking a joint. Neither of you were getting much work done this evening, you’d been absentmindedly scrolling through old samples and lyrics while Colson chatted about Casie. You loved hearing him talk about her, his whole demeanour seemed to soften and he was always so excited in the lead up to her arrival. “Casie is so chill, you know that, she just rolls with it” he replies
You stand up and stretch “Right, I’m gonna go to bed and try get some sleep”
Colson pulls you towards him so that you fall into his lap and he squeezes you tightly so you can’t get away “Nah, stay up with me. I’m not tired, I’ll be bored without you” he pouts
His arms still wrapped around your waist, you take the joint from between his fingertips and take a long toke “I’m not the only person in this house y’know, the guys are still up”
He lets go of you and pinches the joint back from you “Yeah I know, but I like our late nights”
“Yeah me too” you turn in his lap and smile back at him “But we should at least try and go to bed earlier than 6am”
“Who are you kidding?” he laughs, poking you in the side so you flinch at the ticklish touch “You’re a worse insomniac than me. No way you’ll be sleeping”
“Colson..” you whine, giving him a faux stern look
“Yeah, yeah, you’re right” he says as you stand up and offer your hand, which he takes, making a big deal of standing up, letting you pull his weight as he moves out of his slouched position. “I’m not tired though” he mumbles as he follows you out of the studio “and neither are you” and you roll your eyes affectionately at his petulant grumbling
Lying in bed reading, sleep doesn’t come easily to you and you check your clock: 2:00am. You can hear the soft sound of a TV being played at low volume from Colson’s room next door, knowing he’s still awake is making it even harder to settle. You’d become so used to spending all night with him recently, it seemed strange to not be with him now. Admitting defeat to yourself, you climbed out of bed and headed out into the hall, knocking softly on his bedroom door. Hearing him shout ‘come in’, you entered his room sheepishly and were met by a big grin as he paused what he was watching “Why are still awake? I thought you said we HAD to go to sleep” he says in a mocking sing-song tone.
“Shut up” you said, as you crossed his room and climbed into the empty side of his bed
“Uh oh, was I right? Little Miss Insomniac is admitting I’m right?” he chides, leaning over and poking you repeatedly in your sides “I’m right aren’t I? You couldn’t sleep”
He continues his tickle attack, him laughing along as he watches you belly laughing at his touch, unable to control yourself. “ADMIT IT!” he says, now pinning you down on the bed so he’s towering above you, squeezing your sides and squirming his fingers into your armpits as you writhe beneath him, choking on your laughter. You manage to shout out “NEVER!” but this only encourages him further. You struggle to catch your breath as he tickles you and you eventually cave and shout out “FINE”. He immediately stops and looks down at you, his final resting position straddling you with a leg either side of your hips and you lock eyes as you catch your breath. The eye contact between you lingers for just a few seconds longer than feels normal and you feel your stomach do a little flip, catching you off guard as you stare up into his blue eyes. He starts to laugh and just like that the moment has passed.
Climbing off you and laying down next to you, his back against the padded headboard, he says “I knew I’d get you to cave”
“Pfft, any confession given under duress isn’t admissible in court” you fire back
“Whatever” he laughs, and throws his arm around your shoulder pulling you into his chest
You settle in to him and look up at the TV on the wall across from the bed and see the film he’d been watching ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’.
“This is, like, my FAVOURITE film” you beam, reaching over him for the remote to unpause
“I know” he replies “You always talked about it and I finally watched it properly a while ago, it’s a beautiful film”
“Yeah, I love it, it’s uncomfortable viewing though” you say, your voice getting quieter as you continue “Something always hits home hard when I watch it”
You feel him hug you into him just a fraction tighter as he mumbles “Oh yeah for sure, the characters are way too relatable”
He seems lost in thought for a moment then continues "You know, I actually watched it a couple of times since you mentioned it… it's like depending on your mood, you can relate to either Joel or Clementine, then it might change the next time, I dunno… I mean both of them are pretty messed up and intense but different y'know…but they just keep coming back to each other like fate or something, I can never tell if I'm rooting for them or not. Like, they know it'll most likely go wrong again but they do it anyway… "'
He looks down at you, cuddled into his side, your eyes focused on the screen and gives you a gentle squeeze.. "Chime in at any time Y/N, you're letting me ramble again…" he chuckles softly, a hint of self-consciousness in his voice.
"Nah, I just enjoy hearing your thoughts, because… " You trail off, not looking up at him. The film has got you in your feels again, it seems to open something up that makes you feel vulnerable. Colson rubs his long fingers up your arm "Go on…" "Well, because I'm the same, I pick something different up each time.. I just think that…Well, I feel like everyone is just..", you sigh, "… we're just always looking for some form of connection, because sometimes we see things in people that we want so badly, so we chase something that isn't there…"
You can hear Colson chewing his lip just above your head before he speaks softly
"Yeah… and sometimes we're blind to the things that are actually there, right in front of us…"
You turn your head subtly and look up at him, but his eyes are fixed on the television, his lip still pulled between his teeth as if he's deep in thought.
"Hmm.." is all you can utter in response, your chest swirling with an emotion you can't quite place as Colson shuffles further down onto his pillow, keeping you pressed against him
Neither of you say anything else as the movie continues, both too tired to pry into what the other is saying and within half an hour you feel Colson's arm around your shoulder grow heavier as his breathing gets deeper.
The credits start to roll and you slide out from under Colson’s heavy arm to reach for the remote. Turning the TV off, you sit on the edge of the bed in the now quiet room, the only sound, Colson’s soft breathing. You turn to look at him in the dim light of dawn creeping in through the drapes and that feeling comes again, a pang in your chest, as you watch his chest rise and fall, the peaceful look on his face.
You shake the feeling off, standing up slowly, ready to creep out to your bedroom when Colson’s sleep laced voice mumbles out behind you “Hey, where you going…”
You sit back down “I’m gonna go get some sleep” you say pushing the ruffled hair off his forehead. He reaches up and wraps his hand around yours “Stay here with me…you know I hate sleeping alone” You avoid his blue eyes, feeling him watch you in the semi-darkness as you slide back under the covers next to him, rolling away to face the window.
He moves closer to you, “You okay Y/N?” he whispers, stroking the hair from across your ear
“Mmhmm” you murmur, suddenly hyper aware of his presence next to you.
He pulls you back into him, wrapping his arms around you and bringing his knees up to meet the back of your legs, spooning you tightly and whispers “Night” against the back of your neck.
You allow your body to relax into him, you’re so tired and you want to sleep but that funny feeling rises in your chest again.
synopsis: you feel insecure with colson and he’s having none of it. (itty bitty titty committee!fem!reader)
wc: 4k
warnings: smut (18+), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it and all that), dom/sub undertones, “sir”, soft dom!colson, praise kink, choking kink.
a/n: this is my first ever smut so pls be gentle! i wrote the reader as small chested, but nothing else is described because ik how annoying it can be when small chested reader starts turning into skinny reader, so i hope you enjoy! please tell me what you think and how well i did because this is so nerve wracking!!! i love you guys!!
“Col, what are you doing?” You whined, crossing your arms over your chest. You were both lying on the couch when he suddenly jumped up and pulled you along with him.
“Wait a minute.” He giggled as he set up his phone on top of a contraption made of random books he found lying around and two tissue boxes. His front facing camera was open and from what you could tell he was filming on tiktok.
“Oh my god, is that tiktok?” You groaned lightly. Colson had been obsessed with watching tiktoks recently, yet he hadn’t been really into making them. But the last time Casie was over, she taught him how to navigate the app and he was so eager to create. But did he have to be eager right now? You hadn’t had a chance to lie down with him all day.
“Yes,” he replied and walked away from his phone to stand directly in front of you, “now stand like this.” He instructed as he placed his large hands on your waist and positioned you to face him properly, taking your hands in his gingerly and putting them by your side.
The first few notes left the speakers of his phone and you furrowed your eyebrows as you tried to figure out the name of the song. “Am I supposed to react or something?”
“No no, just wait.” He smiled, incredibly excited for whatever this was. As the music grew louder, Colson came closer and brought his hand up and grabbed the collar of your sweater gently in his palm. He pulled the sweater outwards and leaned forward to look down your shirt.
“Where are you?” He mouthed with the music.
Your jaw dropped as you threw your head back in laughter, your hand instinctively coming up to cover your chest once more. “You motherfucker!”
Colson laughed and pulled you into him by the hem of your sweater, “Come on, you know that was funny.” The audio replayed in the background as the time allotted for the video was used up, leading Colson to let go of you and reach for his phone.
“It was.” You agreed. “Doesn’t make you less of a dick.”
“You know I love your tiny tits, babe.” He mumbled as he fiddled with his phone.
“You better.” You chuckled and went back to the couch, hoping that your blanket was still warm.
“Hey, I’m gonna post this. Is that cool?” He called out to you.
“Go ahead.” You replied as you made yourself comfortable. “That was funny. Is it a trend or something?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, “there was another audio that went like ‘to girls with anything smaller than a b cup, I hope you gentlemen have a good day’ or something. I thought that was funnier, but I couldn’t find it.”
“Yeah, tiktok’s search thing is crap.” You rolled your eyes. “Honestly, the most memorable part of the videos on their platform is the audio. You should be able to find things without having everything saved in your favorites.”
“Anything else I should include in my email to tiktok’s team?”
“Yes, tell them to verify me while they’re at it.”
It was only an hour or so later when Colson had to leave for something or other, he had told you about it a few days prior but you couldn’t remember for the life of you. He said that he’d be back before midnight, which was code for ‘you should wait up for me’. It was around ten p.m. when you decided that you should probably freshen up and put something nice on.
After a quick shower and some of that lotion that Colson loved the smell of, you sat on the damp bathroom counter and pulled out your little makeup bag that you had yet to unpack after your last trip with Colson.
Makeup wasn’t a necessity for nights with your boyfriend, but you knew he loved how roughed up you looked with smeared lipstick and mascara running down your cheeks. So you put on your heaviest mascara that wasn’t waterproof, focusing on your lower lashes, and one of your cheapest lipsticks so it wouldn’t stain no matter how badly it smeared.
You weren’t really thinking of how you would look as you went through your routine, but more of what would happen when Colson got home. So when you opened your lingerie drawer, full of red, black, and bright pink sets all thanks to Colson, you were surprised to be hit by feelings of insecurity and dread.
Considering the fact that your relationship with Colson was almost a year long thus far, you hadn’t felt insecure or uncomfortable with him in so long. Was it really… No. It couldn’t be.
That stupid tiktok. It was getting to you.
You weren’t sure why. You knew it was a joke, a good one at that. It hadn’t made you uncomfortable at the time. Nor did it now, really. You and Colson have joked about the size of your boobs many times, just like how you joked about how skinny he was or how bad morning breath always was. It was just how your relationship grew to be after you both fully let loose around each other.
So why was this getting to you? You tried to come to a conclusion as you pulled on one of your favorite sets. As you stared at yourself in the mirror and adjusted the lingerie, you heard the front door open and decided that the time for analyzing your insecurities was not now.
Moments after you settled down on the bed, the door open and revealed Colson in a nice fancy looking suit. He let out a low whistle as he dropped his phone and his keys on the dresser, “Wow. What did I do in this world to deserve this?”
“I think you just got real lucky.” You smirked. “Love the get up, lover boy.”
“Yeah? Balmain for next week’s carpet.” He did a little spin as he walked closer. A fitting with Balmain, that’s right. “How much do you love it?”
“Not enough.” You feigned a frown and cocked your head to the side. “I’d like it off now, please and thank you.”
“Since you used your manners.” He smiled as he shrugged off the white suit jacket, disposing of the shirt and the pants quickly after, leaving him in just his boxers. “You look gorgeous, sweetheart. I’d rip that set off you if I didn’t know how much it costs.”
“I don’t mind,” you purred as he climbed onto the bed next to you, “my man can buy me another.”
“Your man?” Colson raised his eyebrows at you, the corners of his mouth slightly upturned. He pulled you onto his lap, purposefully placing the damp patch on your lace panties against his pulsing erection.
Your hips bucked up at the contact and you hissed. “Yeah- my man.” You leaned forward and placed a soft kiss against his lips, pulling away as soon as he tried to take it further. “He takes care of me so well.”
“How does he take care of you, sweetheart?” Colson asked as he trailed his hands upwards against your thighs, one of them speeding up to your waist while the other stayed on its course. Your boyfriend wasn’t one for teasing, especially when he was as hard as he is now, so you knew where his hand was headed and it wasn’t going to take long.
“He fucks me so-” You gasped as his fingers reached the side of your panties, pushing them aside to stroke you gently. “He fucks me so good.” A moan escaped you as his pointer finger slowly sunk into you, knuckle by knuckle.
“Yeah I do.” Colson grinned as he watched your face contort. “So pretty, baby.” He let his thumb rest against your clit once his finger was fully sheathed inside of you.
“Colson,” you whined as you tried to ride his finger, “move.”
He pouted at you mockingly. “You were being so nice just now with your ‘please and thank you.’ You’re throwing around commands now?”
“Please, please, touch me.” He wasted no time in pumping his finger in and out and using his thumb to circle your clit. You whimpered at the attention, losing yourself to the pleasure. He had barely touched you and you were already desperate. “Another one, Colson. Please?”
“I love it when you use your manners, baby girl. Always so polite.” He smiled and watched you carefully as he pushed in his middle finger with the next thrust. His middle finger being slightly longer in addition to the girth of both fingers had your jaw dropping as your head fell back. “So perfect. Look at you, taking my fingers so well. Think you can take my cock just as good?”
“Yes, yes, please Colson.” You nodded fervently, trying to pull yourself off of his fingers. But he wouldn’t let you, pushing up along with you to keep his hand in place as he tsked at you.
“Not now babygirl, need you to come for me first. I don’t wanna hurt you.” He replied as he brought the hand on your waist up to your face. “Can you come for me?”
You whined as your eyebrows furrowed, eyes screwed shut at this point. “Wanna come on your cock.”
“And you will,” Colson reassured you, letting his hand fall to your neck, his thumb gently stroking the column of your throat, “but you gotta give me one before I can let you. I know you can, sweetheart. You’re always such a good girl for me, always taking care of me. Let me take care of you.” He circled your bud faster as he praised you, pushing his fingers in as deep as he could without hurting you to press up against your g-spot. He watched as you rolled your eyes back as the pleasure hit you and he knew you were close.
He let his hand trail down your chest and then he pulled the lace covering your right breast down. Colson lowered his head and connected his mouth to your hardened nipple and you groaned as he swirled his tongue around it. You grabbed him roughly by the sides of his head and pulled him into a deep kiss. With your eyes closed you didn’t see Colson’s eyebrows knit together in confusion.
He pulled away and looked at you carefully, realizing that you were on the precipice. “Come for me, Angel.” He breathed heavily against your lips. And like a good girl, you did.
Your mouth fell open in a silent scream as you let the pleasure wash over you. Colson smirked as he watched you ride out the high, knowing that he did that to you with only his fingers.
“You really know how to use your hands.” You panted, leaning forward to place your forehead against his.
“I changed your mind on fingering, didn’t I?” He asked. Colson was right, you used to hate being fingered before you met him. It just felt like prodding fingers and harsh jabs in a place that was far too sensitive for that. He begged and begged to touch you for weeks before you finally agreed, and it was probably one of his proudest moments when he managed to make you come five times with just his fingers that night.
“Ugh, I hate that word.” You chuckled,
“What? Fingering?” Colson asked as he gently pulled his fingers out of you, knowing damn well what word it was. “But I thought you liked getting fingered? I always finger you so good, don’t I?”
“Oh my god, shut up!” You laughed. “You are a man child.”
“A man child who’s great at fingering.” He waggled his eyebrows at you as he brought his digits up to his mouth and sucked them clean. He placed his wet fingers against your cheeks and brought you closer to him, kissing you deeply. You could taste yourself on his tongue and it was intoxicating.
“Fuck me already!” You whined as you broke away from him. You pawed at his boxers to show him how desperate you were. “Please, I need you. Been waiting for you all day.”
“Me too, baby.” Colson huffed, lifting you off his lap and putting you down on the bed to take off his boxers. Once they were halfway across the room, Colson tried to push you down on the bed but you resisted.
“Wanna ride you.” You whispered and watched his eyes light up.
“Can I take these off first?” He asked, hand coming up to your bra strap, and you nodded. He reached back and unclasped the fabric, watching the straps gently fall down your shoulder. He always loved undressing you, never letting you do it yourself. His hands came up to gently squeeze both your breasts, thumbs rubbing back and forth on your nipples. You slowly reached down to slip off your panties, knowing that Colson would stop you. “Hey, no. Let me.”
He always undressed you, he thought as he pulled your panties down your legs. Why would you attempt something different today? Something wasn’t adding up.
“Lie back.” You whispered as you pushed him down. You crawled up towards him and moved your legs to straddle his hips. “It’s been too long, baby.”
“I fucked you this morning.” Colson chuckled, voice tight as he felt your sopping wet pussy land on his aching dick.
“Like I said,” you sighed nonchalantly, “too long.”
Colson wasn’t one for teasing. You, on the other hand, lived for it. You glided against his length slowly, slicking him up and torturing him at the same time.
“You’re killing me here, sweetheart.” Colson groaned.
“You know it’s my favorite thing to do, my love.” You smiled, leaning down to kiss him. “Gotta remind you who’s in control.”
“Fuck,” he groaned at your words, “you wanna have that talk now? We both know I give you the reins when I feel like it.” He swiftly flipped the two of you over, leaving him hovering over your body. His right hand quickly reached up to circle your throat, applying the slightest bit of pressure. “Now be a good girl and ride my dick like you said you would.”
“Yes sir,” you smiled as you got the exact reaction you were hoping for. He dropped down next to you and helped you back into your previous position, but you stayed hovering over his hips. You grabbed the base of his cock and positioned the tip against your entrance. Slowly lowering yourself, you let go once the tip was firmly in place. You placed both hands against Colson’s heavily inked chest and pushed down the rest of the way.
You both moaned in unison when he bottomed out after what felt like forever. Colson tried to move his hips, but with the slight shake of your head he paused. “Gimme a- gimme a second, Mr. Monster Cock.”
“After all this time, sweetheart?” He smirked.
“You say that every time, Colson.” You laughed as you tried to relax. “Okay.” You nodded as you slowly lifted yourself off his hips, pausing at the tip and then lowering yourself a little faster than before. “Feels bigger every time. You’re not taking those penis enlargement pills, are you?” You knew you were only stroking his ego at this point, but his face was worth it.
“They should probably use me for their ads.”
“They’d sell out too fast.” You groaned, your eyes fluttering shut. “I should ride you more often.”
“You don’t like it when I’m in control?” He asked, head rolling back and accentuating his adam’s apple. He opened his eyes and placed his palm against your throat again, warning you.
“Love it when you’re in control, baby.” You hummed. “But I gotta say, watching you from this angle is the closest thing I’ve ever seen to heaven.”
“Good answer.” He chuckled, letting his hand slip down to your chest. Before he could even try to hold you, you grabbed his hand and pushed it against the bed, holding it there.
It finally clicked in Colson’s head as he saw the sweater you were wearing earlier that morning hung up behind the door. You had barely let him touch you today after he filmed that stupid tiktok. Oh fuck no, this wasn’t gonna happen on his watch.
He sat up with you still in his lap and grabbed both of your hands. “What are you doing, y/n?” His tone and the use of your name and not a pet name stopped you in your tracks.
“I’m fucking my boyfriend, what are you doing?” You asked, not understanding what he was on about.
“You’re not letting me touch you.” You looked down at your hands in his and raised your brows at him. “No,” he paused, placing both your hands in his left one and reaching towards your chest, “you’re not letting me touch you.” He squeezed your left breast causing you to gasp and arch your back. “Every time I get close, you push me away.”
“I’m not-”
“Don’t lie.” He shook his head disappointedly. “You know that video was a joke, right? I can delete it right fucking now if you want me to.”
“Colson, it’s not about that-” You started.
“Then what is it about?” He raised his brows at you. “You’re not letting me enjoy what’s mine.” He pinched your nipple hard and watched as you arched your back again. “You are mine. And I like to enjoy what's mine. These are mine. I like to kiss them,” he leaned down to do just that, “I like to bite them,” he gently nipped against the soft skin of your breast. “And I fucking love marking them.” He sucked a spot right next to your nipple, pulling away only when he was sure it would be dark enough to show. “Don’t stop me from enjoying what’s mine, you understand?”
“Yes sir.” You nodded, wrists still held in his left hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. It wasn’t about the video, I promise.”
“Shh,” he pressed his lips against yours to silence you, “we’ll talk about it later. We’re not having any important conversations when you’re squeezing my dick like that, sweetheart.”
“Like,” you paused to clench your inner walls, “that?”
“Oh fuck!” Colson choked out, thrusting his hips up roughly. “Darling, I think you should let me handle this now.”
“I’m all yours,” you breathed.
As soon as the words left your mouth, Colson let himself go. He didn’t even bother flipping you over, he just took control with you on top. He grabbed you by the hips and simply used you.
You tried to sneak your hand down to give your sweet spot some attention, but Colson’s growl stopped you. “Be patient, baby.”
The thrusts were no longer consistent as his hips stuttered, telling you that he was close. “Colson,” you whined, “please.”
He paused and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he saw how wrecked you looked. Tears leaving black trails of watery mascara down your cheeks, and lipstick smeared to one side, probably because of how he flipped you over that first time. He could see how desperate you were and he wanted to be the solution. He needed to be the solution.
Reaching down slowly, taking his time trailing your body as he went, Colson circled his finger against your clit and began to thrust ever so slowly. It took so much effort to maintain his slow pace, but anything was worth it when it came to you. “You’re so beautiful, you know that?” He asked as he focused on your blissed out face. “Beautiful and mine. All mine.”
“Yours,” you nodded as you squeezed your eyes shut. “So close, Colson. I’m so-”
“Let go for me, baby.”
With a high pitched moan, you let go. You spasmed on his cock, milking it and making it incredibly difficult for him not to blow his load right then and there.
As you started to wilt against him, you felt him slowly pulling out of you. “But you-”
“Wanna- Oh fuck… Wanna come on your tits.” He groaned, pumping himself as soon as he was out of you. You quickly laid down on the bed and pushed out your chest. He brought his knees to either side of your waist and placed the hand that wasn’t working his cock around your throat. “Mine.”
“Yours.” You gasped. With a few more pumps, his head was rolling back and he was painting your chest.
He panted heavily as he came down from his high, eyes still tightly closed. When he finally opened them, he smiled lazily. “Look at you, covered in my load. So pretty, baby.” He reached down and rubbed the seed into your skin and against your nipples. Leaning down, he placed a kiss on your forehead and sagged against you for a moment.
After his breather, he sat back up and headed to the bathroom, tossing a ‘be right back’ over his shoulder. You were left alone in the bedroom for a minute, hearing the water running in the bathroom reminding you that you need to pee.
You weren’t entirely sure where the sudden insecurity came from tonight. Not that you weren’t ever insecure about your body, but never during sex and definitely never with Colson. You sat up on the bed and stared at the open bathroom door where your boyfriend was. He had only ever made you feel loved and gorgeous. Maybe his obvious acknowledgment to your lack of cup size did make you question. Question your worthiness of him. He was obviously well endowed, and most people knew that. You chuckled lightly as you remembered the stupid cock sock.
Maybe it made you feel a little less than, you thought as you walked towards the bathroom. You walked in and let your fingers trail against Colson’s shoulder as you passed him at the sink to do your business.
You watched him as he grabbed a towel and ran it under the warm water. You quickly finished and sat on the bathroom counter in front of him. He slowly wiped away at your chest with the damp cloth, being gentle against the soft skin.
But here he is. Caring for you. Loving on you. Loving you. You almost laughed out loud at yourself for questioning his love or your worthiness when he was so obviously devoted to you of his own accord.
“I love you.” You broke the silence.
“I love you, too.” Colson looked up at you, slightly shocked and confused. You had both already said the ‘L-word’ a while ago, but you usually kept the love confessions in dark rooms and not in the harsh bathroom light. “Was I too-”
“No.” You shook your head as he reached for your pack of makeup wipes behind you. “No, you always take care of me so well.”
You went quiet again, before you opened your mouth to speak at the same time that he did. He paused and waited for you to speak, but when you didn’t, he started again.
“If that video bothered you, you should have told me y/n. I’m sorry I made you feel insecure, but next time you gotta tell me before it escalates.” He spoke softly as he pulled a wipe out of the pack and cleaned up your face. “I love you. That includes every part of you.”
“I’m sorry, I promise it wasn’t the stupid video. It was actually really funny.” You chuckled. “I don’t know what hit me. When I was getting ready before you came, I just looked down at my drawer and felt so stupid. I felt like I was pretending to be sexy for you. Like- Like I was convincing myself all this time that this turned you on when there’s no way it could.” He opened his mouth but you looked at him and he paused. “But I know that that isn’t true. And I’m sorry for doing that back there.”
“I swear to god y/n, if you apologize one more time-”
You laughed, placing your hand on his chest. “I’m so- I’m not! I’m not sorry!”
“You aren’t,” he nodded, his eyes meeting yours so that you knew he was being serious, “because you have nothing to be sorry for. And I know that if I apologize again, this is never gonna end. I love you, and you are so sexy, and I am the world’s luckiest man because you’re all mine.”
“Yeah, you are.” You giggled and smiled as he rolled his eyes.
Requested by @somasourchi “ Can you do one where Y/n has a baby and she finds Colson talking to the baby at the middle of the night or something like that please??”
Parings: Colson x Reader
Warnigs/Tags: none pure fluff
A/N: Happy Father’s Day! This is an AU Colson’s not famous in this.
You were exhausted and Colson knew it; a single mom working doubles just to make ends meet, what little sleep you got interrupted by your son's teething. He tried to help out as much as he could despite not being the child’s father — his real father had taken off when you told him you were pregnant. Colson had come into your life shortly after you had given birth; an angel with jumper cables when your car had broken down leaving you stranded on the side of the road with a newborn. He's been in both your lives since. He was just a friend at first, staying in contact to see if you had everything you needed, and supplying you when you didn’t. He knew what it was like to be a struggling parent, he had opened up to you about having been there himself. It didn’t take long for the friendship to blossom into something more and Colson to move in with you.
When it was just you and your son, alone in your apartment you were always on edge, sleeping with one eye open, afraid you might sleep through a needing cry if you let yourself fully crash the way your body needed to. And you were right, because that first night, comforted by the safety of Colson’s presence, your body gave in, falling into a deep and peaceful sleep. You didn’t even awaken when your son began to fuss about his teeth. Colson knew how bad you needed this sleep and he was gonna make sure you got it. Before your son's cries got any louder, Colson quickly and quietly snuck out of bed and into your son's room to soothe him.
“Whatsamatter, buddy? Your teeth hurt? Come see Colson,” he spoke sweetly, scooping the fussy boy from his crib. He gently swayed him in his arms as he quietly made his way to the kitchen. “Let’s see if your mama has any teethers in here for you,” he said as he opened the freezer. “Aww here we go, a frozen washcloth” Colson handed it to him, and headed back to the baby’s bedroom. “Does that feel better?” He watched as your son gnawed on the cool cloth. “Seems like it,” he smiled at the now content child. “Ya know these were always my daughter Casie’s favorite thing to chew on when she was teething too. Maybe you can meet her one day, she’s a big girl now”.
With his gums relieved your son started to fall back asleep in Colson’s caring arms. “Alright little guy, let’s get you back in bed.” Colson placed him back in his crib but as Colson turned to make his way to the door he heard your son start to fuss again.
The boy pulled himself up in his crib and reached out to Colson with grabby hands “Dada” he whined.
Instantly Colson melted and picked the child back up. “Aww buddy, I wish. Maybe one day. But that’s not up to me, that's up to your mama. First I gotta get up the courage to ask her to marry me, but I’m afraid it’s still too soon and I dunno what she’d say—“
“I’d say yes,” you interrupted from the doorway wiping tears from your eyes.
“Oh god, how long have you been standing there?” Colson asked, feeling his face flush with nerves and embarrassment.
“Since you came back with the washcloth, I could hear you guys over the baby monitor and I couldn’t resist sneaking over to watch you with our son.”
“Our son? Really, you mean that? Colson questioned excitedly.
“Of course I mean it,” you stepped closer, “Just like I meant it when I said I would say ‘yes’. I’d be honored to be Mrs. Baker,” you went on tiptoes to kiss him. “C’mon,” you said reaching out to take your son. “Wanna spend the rest of the night in mama and dada’s bed?”
“Dada!” the boy repeated, pointing at Colson. Your little family was complete.
