Cursed Inc.
I enjoy writing comic book scripts, but found that I don’t have the patience to illustrate them. So I’ve decided to upload my latest one here. You are free to do what you want with it. Draw it, critique it, sketch characters from it, whatever. Just tag me. If you do critique it, it sucks isn’t a critique. Reasons it sucks and how I can improve is a critique.
Cursed Inc.
Page 1
Panel 1.
We are looking through binoculars at 4 individuals coming out of a door at the end of a dead-end neon-soaked alley, there are air conditioners, pipes, and wires everywhere. Anything happening in the alley should be lit by the harsh neon lighting until otherwise noted. The one in front, (looking like the security he is) is a large green orc covered in runic tattoos and wearing lots of bone jewelry with symbols and runes carved into them. On his lower half he’s wearing fatigue’s and boots, on his upper half he just wears a plate carrier. He carries a military looking rifle thar can be based on a real rifle or something made up. Behind him is a being in a trench coated. His head is a flaming skull stuffed in a fishbowl helmet. There are tubes and wires coming out of the back of the helmet running down to boxy satchel slung over his shoulder like an oversized purse. You can’t see his hands in this shot, but when you do se them they are robotic. Behind him are two individuals. A chubby man (Dwane) with long hair that’s been dyed blond, the dark roots are starting to show. He carries a very basic rifle with a wood stock and scope. There are runes carved in the stock. Next to him is a dumpy looking female (Halley). She also has died blond hair. We can see that they have elfin ears, but if they are ever shown close up, you should be able to see that the ears are bad plastic surgery that are pretty scarred. They are both wearing what looks like Adidas track suits, but instead of the three stripes running down the sides it’s one solid white with intermittent arcane symbols.
Andi (OP): There here. Looks like 4 of them.
Panel 2.
We are up on a rooftop looking down at a sniper who’s looking down through her scope. She has blond hair, a nice red jacket with tight black pants. If we can see her ears, she’s an elf with delicate but aloof features.
Joni: I see them. The heavy looks like he’s wearing some serious runic protection.
Panel 3.
We are inside a dingy hotel room. There is a girl, Andi, looking through the monocular holding a walkie-talkie. She has a short pixie cut and is wear jeans, a hoody (hood up), and a black pair of Chucks. We may or may not be able to see it, but she has a 1911 strapped to her right hip. She is facing left looking out the window in front of her. Off to her right sits a large shadowy figure we only see in silhouette. This is Ed. He has a massive shaggy head. He’s definitely not human.
Ed: I can take him!
Page 2
Panel 1.
Andi looking over at us with a serious look on her face.
Andi: Not yet. I need you to concentrate Ed. Do you remember the plan?
Ed (OP): I remember.
Andi: Good.
Panel 2.
Andi talking into the walkie-talkie again.
Andi: You think you can take him out?
Joni (OP): Possibly.
Andi: …sigh… You ready Matthew?
Panel 3.
On a back-alley balcony. We see what looks like the moth man with a mohawk dressed like an 80’s punker. His wings stick out of the back of a jean battle vest covered with patches and pins. He wear’s no pants or shoes. Definitely a guy who’s down to talk about how The Man is keeping him down. He’s holding a mechanical device about the size of a bowling ball that has a satchel sling that he wears over his shoulder while he talks into his walkie-talkie.
Matthew: You take out the heavy and I am.
Panel 4.
Close up of Andi talking into her walkie-talkie.
Andi: 10-4. Joni, take the shot. Ed, get ready just in case.
Page 3
Panel 1.
Side shot of Joni looking through her rifle. She is very put together. Flashy earrings and her nails are manicured.
Panel 2
We are looking at the orc through Joni’s scope. The cross hairs are on the orc’s forehead.
Joni: Damn…
Panel 3.
Glory shot of the orc.
Joni (OP): …you are a big boy.
Page 4
Panel 1.
Close up on Joni’s finger pulling the trigger.
Sfx: tkk
Panel 2.
SFX: BOOM
The sound effect is attached to the previous panels tkk sound effect to show they are happening almost simultaneously.
Panel 3.
The orcs head being slammed back from the impact of the bullet. Mouth open spittle flying. No blood.
Panel 4.
Close on Joni squinting through her scope.
Joni: He’s down.
Page 5
Panel 1.
Close up on Andi looking through her binoculars out the window.
Andi: But is he out?
Panel 2.
The orc angrily siting up.
Andi (OP): Nope! Not out.
Panel 3.
The orc is getting up pointing back at the skull guy.
Orc: Get him out of here!
Panel 4.
Andi yelling at the dark shape that is Ed while she gestures at the window.
Andi: You got you’re wish. Go!
Page 6
Panel 1.
We finally see Ed. He is leaping through the window to attack the orc below. He is surrounded by shards of glass that glitter and reflect the surrounding neon. He has a large muscular man body with head of a maned lion. He is wearing jeans and boots. Around his neck is a large green crystal on a heavy gold chain.
Page 7
Panel 1.
The blonds are grabbing skull head escorting/dragging him back towards the door.
Guy 1: Come on boss, let’s go!
Skull: I am not running from his goons! Dwane, take care that sniper! Halley, give Orson some focus!
Panel 2
Ed landing in front of the orc
Panel 3
Skull head has his robotic hand on the female (Halley) blond in the track suit’s shoulder as she shoots blue bolts of energy at Orson the orc. The Dwane is aiming up and off panel firing his AR looking rifle.
Panel 4
Joni is taking fire from street level. She is grabbing her rifle backing away from the bullets pinging around her.
Page 8
Panel 1
Ed flying towards the Orson the orc who looks like he’s more muscular than before as he’s being energized in blue lighting from off panel.
Page 9
Panel 1.
Caption: The day before.
We see Andi sitting in a very nice office. Behind the desk in front of her is a goblin (Heezer) in a suit.
Andi: Absolutely not. The job is worth twice that if not more.
Panel 2.
Close up on a smug mockingly apologetic Heezer:
Heezer: I’m sorry Andi. Maybe last year when you had a reputation. Now… well, you’re welcome to go find employment somewhere else. Maybe someone else is willing to take a risk on you without Ed.
Panel 3.
Close up on an angry looking Andi.
Andi: Damn you Heezer! Ed is still part of the crew.
Panel 4.
Smug looking Heezer.
Heezer: Tell you what, bring Edward in here and I’ll double the price.
Panel 5.
Close up on a furious Andi.
Andi: Damn you Heezer!
Panel 6.
Close up on a sneering Heezer.
Heezer: Rebuild your reputation. Bring me the artifact.
Page 10
Panel 1.
We see Andi running down some stairs. The walls are covered in graffiti. She is screaming into her walkie-talkie.
Andi: Matthew, get down there and shut the artifact down!
Panel 2.
Matthew fiddling with his doohickey as he talks on the walkie-talkie.
Matthew: I’m not going down there you have Ed clear the way.
Panel 3.
We se the Orc who is in full on hulk mode giving Ed an uppercut that is knocking him straight up into the air.
Panel 4.
Andi bursting through a graffiti covered door into the alley.
Andi: Damn it Matthew, we need that him down now!
Panel 5.
Andi running towards the battle between Ed and Orson.
Andi: Nobody get’s paid unless we turn in the artifact! Do your damn jobs!
Page 11
Panel 1.
We see Matthew talking into his walkie-talkie looking off panel.
Matthew: It’s way to hairy down there for me. At least have Joni take out the sniper.
Panel 2.
Joni crouching behind a larger roof mounted air conditioner that is taking in coming fire.
Joni: Incoming fire always has the right of way!
Panel 3.
Orson is on top of Ed just beating the hell out of him.
Panel 4.
Full body shot of Andy pulling off her hood. She looks pissed. We see tentacles starting to manifest through her clothing.
Andi: Do I have to do everything myself?
Page 12
Panel 1.
Close up on Andi’s hands she is flexing it into a claw as a tentacle starts to appear from her wrist. This can be one or two panels showing each hand and tentacle set. Depends how artists feel the overall page should flow
Panel 2.
Andi now has tentacles coming out from each wrist one from each thigh lifting her off the ground. The tentacles ignore clothes and where the state from the body they are semi-transparent. She is reaching out with her tentacles grabbing at Orson. Pulling him off of Ed by the throat.
Page 13
Panel 1.
The flaming skull points off panel ordering Halley to attack Andi.
Skull: Stop her!
Panel 2.
Halley is firing Red bolts of lightning from her hands now. Skully still has his hands on her shoulder.
Panel 3.
Andi who is holding Orson in the air is being engulfed in red lightning from off panel. It doesn’t feel good to either her or Orson.
Page 14
Panel 1.
Close up on Andi’s face as she wears a grimace of pain from electrocution.
Andi: Damn it Matthew!
Panel 2.
A bloody looking Ed looking of panel with furry in his eyes.
Ed: Grrr!
Panel 3.
Ed rushing towards Skully and Halley.
Skully: Dwane!
Panel 4.
Dwane now firing at Ed.
Ed getting hit by rifle fire. The bullets ripping into Ed aren’t going to kill him, but they aren’t making him happy.
Page 15
Panel 1.
Joni popping up from behind the shredded air conditioner starting to aim off panel.
Joni: Finally!
Panel 2.
Andi has released Orson and has brought all four tentacles in front of her to use as a shield to block the red electricity from Dwane.
Panel 3.
Orson who no longer looks like he’s in Hulk mode without the blue electricity, has recovered from being strangled by Joni is rushing back to grabbing a shot up and bleeding Ed.
Page 16
Panel 1.
Close up on Joni looking at us through her rifle scope.
Joni: Se ya poser.
Panel 2.
Dwane getting blasted back by a shot to the chest. It’s lifting him off his feet a bit.
Joni (OP): Gotcha! You’re up Matthew!
Panel 3.
Matthew finally getting up off his railing, palming the doohickey like a basketball.
Matthew: Fine.
Panel 4.
Matthew flying down towards Skully.
Page 17
Panel 1.
We see Orson and Ed locked in battle. Orson is definitely on the losing end of things. In the background is Skully and Halley throwing electricity.
Page 18
Panel 1
Matthew landing at Skully’s feet who still has his hand on Halley who is firing electricity of panel. She doesn’t notice Matthew, but Skully is looking down at Matthew.
Panel 2.
Matthew looking up at us pressing a button on the doohickey.
SFX: click
Matthew: Hi.
Panel 3
Mathew leaping off panel leaving the doohickey at Skully’s feet. Skully is watching him leave.
Panel 4.
Skully looking down at the doohickey.
Skully: What the-
Panel 5.
SFX (big
bold lettering): CLICK!
Page 19
Panel 1.
All neon light is out in the alley. It’s not completely dark, but there isn’t much light anymore. Skully is collapsing next to a surprised looking Halley.
Skully: Damn it!
Panel 2.
Andi is pulling out her .45 as she runs past Ed who is literally tearing out Orson’s throat with his teeth.
Andi: Damn it Edward! You don’t eat people! We’ve talked about this!
Panel 3.
We are looking up at a blood-soaked Ed who looks sorry.
Ed: Sorry Andi...
Panel 4.
Andi standing in front of Haley aiming her gun at her. Halley stands there her hands out like she might shoot more electricity of them, but she looks very unsure. Skully lays in a crumpled heap at her feet.
Andi: Stand down. If you get your boyfriend to a hospital now, they might be able to save him.
Page 20
Panel 1.
We are behind Halley looking down at Dwane who is clutching his chest laying in a pool of his own blood.
Halley: He’s… my husband.
Andi (OP): Well you’re gonna’ be his widow if you don’t get a move on.
Panel 2.
Andi looking down at Skully talking on her walkie-talkie. Behind her is Halley who is trying to deal with her husband.
Andi: Everyone, re-group on me.
Panel 3.
Andi is reaching down on us as if we were Skully.
Andi: For what it ‘s worth, you were worth a lot more than 500 credits.
Panel 4.
Andi is now holding the fishbowl helmet that holds the helmet. Ed is approaching off panel.
Skully: 500 credits!? Heezer is a cheap bastard, but that’s ridiculous!
Panel 5.
Andi handing Skully and the satchel he’s connected to, to Ed.
Andi: Take him to the truck, I’ll be there in a second.
Page 21.
Panel 1.
Joni and Matthew walking up to Andi. In the background we see Halley trying to drag her husband off by the armpits.
Andi: Ed and are taking the artifact in for payment. Meet us back at the shop for payment. I want an itemized list of expenses from both of you.
Panel 2.
Andi pointing at Joni.
Andi: I heard two shots, don’t bill me for anything more.
Joni: Whatever Andi. I’ll bill you for the shots I took. Just like always.
Andi: Yeah.
Panel 3.
No Andi is pointing at Matthew.
Andi: We are a team. I expect a little quicker response time out of you.
Panel 4.
Close up on Matthew.
Matthew: Pay me what I’m worth and maybe you’ll get a team player.
Andi: I pay you according to what I get payed. Step it up, and maybe we’ll get payed more.
Panel 5.
Both Matthew and Joni walking away in separate directions leaving Joni to stand there.
Matthew: Whatever. Don’t blame us for your problems. I’m not taking a bullet for this outfit.
Page 22
Panel 1
Ed is carrying Skully as he approaches a very banged up A-Haul moving truck.
Skully: Huh, haven’t seen that in a long time.
Panel 2.
Ed lifting the door to the back of the truck. Skully is looking at the crystal that hangs from his neck.
Skully: The amulet of Oondar.
Panel 3.
Ed sitting down sulking in the back of the truck.
Ed: It’s the Crystal of Skoor.
Skully: Skoor must have stolen it from Oondar. I should know, I made it for Oondar.
Panel 4.
Close up on a sulky looking Ed.
Ed: Shut up. You don’t know jack.
Panel 5.
Close up on the grinning skull.
Skully: If you say so my good Guardian.
Page 23
Panel 1.
A confused looking Ed.
Ed: What did you call me?
Panel 2.
Andi his getting into the drivers set of the truck now.
Andi: Edward! Quit chatting with the artifact. Are we good to go to Heezer straight away, or do I need to stop off at the infirmary first?
Ed: What?
Panel 3.
Close up on an annoyed looking Andi.
Andi: Payment or infirmary Edward! Which is it?
Ed: Oh… Uh payment is fine. I’m healing ok, I guess.
Panel 4.
We are looking through the windshield of the truck. Andi looks like she is in a really bad mood.
Andi: Well that’s something at least.
Panel 5.
The truck driving off.
Andi (OP): Maybe we’ll even break even on this one.
