#comics curmudgeon

[dr-archeville]

Dustin, 2021-01-13

You know, I’ve griped about Dustin slamming on millennials (as represented by the strip’s title character), but I haven’t put that much effort into it because, enh, millennials, probably they have it coming.  But when you decide to come after librarians?  When you say that librarians don’t want people eating and drinking in the library (which literally ruins books that cost money to replace that they’d have to pay out of their shrinking budget) and they don’t want people reshelving books (which patrons aren’t trained to do and if they screw it up it makes books difficult or impossible to find) and they don’t want people talking on their cell phones in the library (this is literally annoying to everybody, who could possibly object to idiots talking loudly on their cell phones in the library being asked to leave) because they’re frumpy martinets who love rules?  That’s when I declare that you’re garbage person and I swear a sacred oath to destroy you.  Be warned!

Commentary by The Comics Curmudgeon [source]

[dr-archeville]

Yes, this kind of attitude towards one of the most iconic and beloved characters in comics history is definitely healthy and good and doesn’t indicate any sort of deep-seated pathologies, at all!  Clearly this is the sort of person you want as [checks notes] the artistic director of your comic book company. 

Funky Winkerbean 2018/09/21. Commentary by The Comics Curmudgeon [source]

Also:

The thing with Funky Winkerbean is that I honestly have a hard time figuring out its narrative point of view sometimes.  You’d think that, when you have a plot where a group of comic book dudes get extremely pumped after coming up with a character called “Atomic Ape” who’s going to be a “Lone Ranger in space” (a real thing that happened in this strip), but then one of those dudes gets very upset when a lady suggests that “Atomic Ape” have a sidekick named “Charger Chip,” the point is that the dude is being dumb for getting upset about it!  But, like, also, the standard Funky Winkerbean party line is that Superhero Comic Books Are Good, and the world of superhero comics today is actually full of adult dudes who take their obviously goofy superheroes extremely seriously, and resist any attempts to make them not dark and gritty, especially when those attempts are seen as coming from or catering to women, so who knows!  Maybe we’re supposed to be rooting for Mopey Pete here!  How dare some woman try to water down the masculine majesty of Atomic Ape, the Lone Ranger of space?

Funky Winkerbean 2018/09/19. Commentary by The Comics Curmudgeon [source]

[dr-archeville]

Fine, I’ll admit it, I’m not ashamed: I learned something from Pluggers today, because I didn’t just stare at it uncomprehendingly in dull horror and say “what gibbering madness is this?” before moving on to Piranha Club.  In fact, I discovered that, according to this retrospective 2016 article in the Michgan-based Jackson News, beard-growing contests for the Bicentennial were a thing, confirmed by this 1996 post on the alt.culture.us.1970s usenet group where someone in Alabama remembers similar informal beard-growing competitions.  Side note: isn’t it crazy that that 1996 post is closer in time to the Bicentennial than it is to today, but I can’t remember 1976 because I was a toddler and it was decades ago but I remember 1996 very well because I was an adult and it was very recent?  Funny how this world works!  Ha ha!  Anyway, my point is that yes, “Bicentennial beards” were a real thing, with millions of American growing huge beards to honor our founding fathers, who were, to a man, clean-shaven.  The ’70s were wild, guys. 

Pluggers, 2017/12/12.  Commentary from The Comics Curmudgeon [source]

[dr-archeville]

hey this is a metaphor for the current housing affordability crisis but if you take it to its logical conclusion all those pricey new homes are made from human flesh OK enjoy your weekend everybody 

Six Chix, 2017/12/15, Commentary from the Comics Curmudgeon. [source]

[dr-archeville]

Beetle Bailey, 2021-01-19

Oh, Sarge.  Foolish Sarge.  Did you think that you could pound a man into a puddle of goo and then reshape him into a human form three times a week and not create something … more pliable, but also something essentially inhuman?  Something no longer tied to a stable physical form, or to our sense of morality?  Be afraid, be very afraid of what you have wrought. 

Commentary by The Comics Curmudgeon [source]

[theoffworldcolonies]

[dr-archeville]

“Maw” is a typical Snuffy Smithism meant to signal the characters’ nonstandard, uneducated speech patterns without actually trying to capture any specific dialect.  Nevertheless, I am going to interpret it literally.  “Aunt Lo says maws are s’posed to, Mary Beth!  She says it’s strange to have a hole in the middle of your face, to realize your body is just meat wrapped around a tube, to need to constantly push dead animals and plants into yourself just to keep alive!  It’s only when you know that your body is a disgusting prison in which the cruel demiurge has imprisoned your immortal soul that you realize you must shed it order to transcend to the highest heaven!”  I’m, uh, not sure how this joke ended up with the Hootin’ Holler folk becoming gnostic dualists?  Whatever, let’s just run with it, that’s canon now. 

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2016-04-28 by John R. Rose; Comment by The Comics Curmudgeon [source]

[dr-archeville]

Oh, man, there’s a lot I haven’t been keeping you up to date on with Spider-Man!  Like the wicked Xandu, after imprisoning our heroes, kidnapped Mary Jane (whom he assumed was Dr. Strange’s wife), and claimed her as her own! And then flew her over Manhattan!  But the she almost got airsick and puked! So he landed in Washington Square Park!  And Spidey and Doctor Strange tracked her down because she’s wearing a homing device that allows her husband to locate her at all times, which is a little unsettling, honestly!  But then Xandu whisked her off to some magical other dimension!  Anyway, none of that is anywhere near as interesting or funny to me as Dr. Strange using his invisibility powers to make Spider-Man look dumb in front of a gawking, jeering crowd of New Yorkers. 

Spider-Man 2015-04-27 by Stan Lee & Larry Lieber; comment by The Comics Curmudgeon [source]

Doctor Strange, Master of the Trolling Arts