The Ones We Love II
Intro: John and Dove try to navigate their way without one another.
This is the second part of a commission piece I wrote a month or so ago, if you'd like to commission me, the info is on my Discord server!
“Are you sure this is a good idea??”
“I’m positive (Y/N), he’s not even gonna notice. You HAVE to get this on camera.”
You watched as your feet shuffled towards the living room, seeing Cortana’s form appear out of the console next to your couch where John was sitting. Your Spartan appeared to be frowning in disdain at your laptop in front of him.
“John?..... Dearest, what are you frowning at?”
“Why did they name this…. Automated assistant Cortana?”
You looked over at Cortana, who was already giggling, her hand over her mouth. You chuckled as the computer ai talked back at John about something.
“Because the computer company decided to put a very…. Primitive AI in their computers named Cortana after certain events in the games’ storyline.”
“Turn it off….”
“Why? It’s MY computer, in case you’ve forgotten.”
“He’s been at this for the past two hours.” Cortana laughed, “He can’t figure out how to disable the computer AI.”
You burst out in a fit of laughter, “Wait, your telling me Mr. 25th century over here can’t figure out how to turn off a 21st-century computer assistant?! Oh, this is rich.”
John looked up at Cortana, a deadpan expression on his face, “How are you not insulted by this?”
“I personally think it’s amusing, and…. Slightly flattering.”
“How? This…. AI isn’t even a quarter of what you are. It can’t even give me a straight answer on the weather patterns.”
“Local weather shows a fifty percent chance of-
John quickly closed the laptop, growling in slight frustration, “Dove, please, turn it off.”
“I think I’ll keep it on. If it’s going to get me this type of reaction, then it’s definitely staying on. Plus, it’s MY computer, not yours.”
John looked over at you about to reply when he saw your phone was out,
“Have you been recording this?”
“....... No.”
“Dove….”
“Ahh!! Cortana help meeee!”
You turned on your heel and booked it to your room as fast as you could, though your Spartan quickly caught up to you. However, you were able to slide your phone in between your mattress and the box spring before John got to your room. Forgetting it was still recording. John said something, but it was slightly muffled,
“Nope, not gonna happen.”
“Dove….”
“John….”
John sighed, and you remembered him shaking his head as he stood over you, leaning down so that his forehead was just about touching yours.
“What am I going to do with you?”
“..... Well, you could kiss me.”
You stopped the video before it went any farther, tears already leaking from your eyes as you buried your face in your pillow.
‘What happened to us?’ You asked yourself as another wave of sobs consumed you, your thoughts instantly drifting to John. How much you were yearning for his comfort. The way he’d hold you close to his chest and soothe you with just a few gentle words. Or the way he’d surround your form with his own, acting as a shield between you and the turmoil threatening to crush you. The way his hands would gently caress the sides of your face as he kissed you, you just missed everything about him. A broken wail tearing through your lips as you curled into a ball. Hands fisting the back of the pillow that had once been his.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Chief…. Are you awake? It’s nearly noon.” Cortana’s voice cut through the fog that currently enveloped John’s mind, stirring him from his unintentional nap. John pulled the covers back a bit to see his virtual companion’s worried expression. Cortana noted how his eyes looked slightly red, evidence of another rough night.
“Chief….” Cortana began,
“It’s nothing….” John assured as he pulled a shirt over his head, he knew he was fooling himself by saying that, but he couldn’t help it. He was used to pushing things to the side, prioritizing everything else over himself and his own emotions. But it was becoming more challenging to hide, especially from the people close with him. Fred had begun making inquiries while Kelly had flat out promised murder. John had quickly squashed that, of course only replying with:
“It’s fine, I just…. Made a mistake is all.”
That mistake was eating him from the inside out. He should’ve just told you instead of clamming up. John walked by a mirror, taking in his exhausted appearance, his brow furrowing as he shrugged on a jacket. ~~~~~~~~~~
“Your sure this is a good idea?” John asked Cortana as he left walked away from your doorstep a few hours later.
“She does this with you, and has it ever not worked on you?” Cortana countered,
……..”Fair point.”
John concealed himself across the street from your apartment, watching with attentive eyes as it opened. You poked your head out, looking around before looking down at your doormat. John watched anxiously as you reached down and picked up what he’d left there, overlooking it before rolling your eyes. For a moment, John feared you’d toss it away, but you took it inside regardless.
“It’s a start….” Cortana encouraged him as they walked around for a bit. John looked around to see he had wandered to the park you and him frequented, watching as a small family had a picnic, and a couple appeared to be painting together. They all looked so… happy. Something John was so desperately trying to be, but if he didn’t get you back…. He wasn’t sure he would ever be truly happy.
~~~~~~~~~~~
“Really? A green rose? Real inconspicuous John….” You huffed as you placed it in the trash. Who did he think he was anyway? And that a single rose would just magically fix everything? But the more you stared at it, the more you realized that even given who it was from…. It was still too pretty to be in the garbage. So you got a slim vase down and placed the rose in it, being sure to give it some water.
‘I wonder how he even got outside the console without me turning it on… Cortana must’ve-cut it out! Stop thinking about him!’ You mentally slapped yourself, stopping before you could go any farther. The more you thought about him, the more it hurt.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Over the month or so, the green roses kept coming. And it was around the third week that little notes began coming with them. The first one of course reading:
“I’m sorry….”
You scanned the note with unimpressed eyes before placing it in front of the vase,
“So am I, John…….”
“I should’ve talked to you….”
“Yes, you should have….”
“I shouldn’t have pushed you away….”
“No, you shouldn’t have.”
“I made a mistake….”
“Damn right you did….”
“Let me make this right….. Please…”
‘Does he even miss me?’ You wondered around a month later as you walked home from archery practise. Since cutting John off, you’d desperately tried to pull yourself out of the emotional agony by trying something other than gaming. You’d tried taking up dancing, but it just made you uncomfortable, you’d tried painting but everytime you painted something it ended up being something that represented him. So you’d ditched those hobbies. But writing, ice skating, and archery had stuck… and of course gaming had, but you had to be careful to remind yourself NOT to select that game… and that hurt.
You sighed as you found yourself standing at your door once again, looking down to see yet another green rose resting next to your package, flashes and images came to your mind as you kneeled down to gently scoop up the rose, the stinging pain in your heart replaced with a bittersweet ache as you could picture him gently placing the rose on your doorstep. Part of you wished that you’d catch a glimpse of him just once, but you also knew you’d crumble if you did…. Probably for the best if that didn’t happen… right?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“And where will you be going after our session is over?” John’s attention was arrested by the tapping of a pen, causing him to look up at the woman sitting across the room from him. Since the…. Incident, Cortana had suggested John try something he absolutely hated…. Talking to someone about…. Him. About his struggles and difficulties. At first, John was obstinate because who would ever truly understand him?
“If you won’t do it for you, do it for her….” Cortana’s plea had been the straw that broke the camels back so to speak. So here he was, seeing a therapist.
“........ same place as yesterday.”
“You always leave a rose, never anything else, has that gotten you anywhere?”
John sighed shaking his head, he had hoped by now that you would’ve at least softened a little,
“Can I make a suggestion?” The woman folded her hands in front of her, her kind eyes meeting Johns’. John nodded, awaiting her response,
“Stop beating around the bush John.” She began, “You know that the way to get her to open up to you is to do what you’ve been doing with me… talking. Communicating. So.. this time when you go to her, don’t leave a rose… be direct. Get her to come to you, and then finally put this behind you……. But, you have to also be ready for the possibility she may not want to see you. And if that’s the case, then you have to accept that and move on with your life.”
‘Easier said than done…’ .John thought to himself as he walked out of his therapists office, wracking his brain for what he could possibly get that would- and just like that… he knew.
~~~~~~~~~~~
It was late afternoon when you heard a small tap at your door, prompting you to put your book down and investigate, upon opening your door, you looked down to see a small box, and attached to it was a note. You looked around before taking the small box back into your apartment, you placed the note on the table as you opened the box, your breath catching as you took in the sight of a sterling silver necklace, but it was the pendant that nearly drove you to tears….. It was a dove with a single gem hanging from it’s beak. You quickly picked up the note scanning the message.
‘Meet me by the fireflies…. I need to talk with you-J.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You arrived at the exact spot where John had asked to meet a little out of breath, you could’ve taken your car but the walking did your anxious heart some good. John had chosen the perfect spot…. It was the very first place you’d ever taken him, a lake that later would become one of your favorite spots. Your breath caught slightly in your throat as you saw John’s figure up ahead, he turned and faced you, his eyes widening in slight surprise.
“You actually wore it…” Were his first words to you once he’d walked up a slight incline to where you stood, his hand automatically reaching out towards you, but quickly retracting as you backed away.
“It’s very pretty…. Thank you.”
John nodded, feeling his chest ache as he took note of just how terrified you looked…. Because of him.
“You said you needed to talk with me?” Your voice snapped John out of his thoughts, he nodded as he took a breath, why was he so nervous??
“I-I…. don’t exactly know where to start.” John admitted , glancing down to the side,
“Well maybe you can start by telling me why… why you shut me out, why you ignored me, why you acted like a complete jerk when all I wanted you to do was talk to me…”
John felt his heart sting slightly at your reproving tone, but he deserved it, you were right, he had treated you horribly, all because he was scared.
“Because I was afraid… Afraid that I would fail… and lose what mattered most to me. . . . . . You.”