Today marks six months since the car accident that turned me (figuratively and literally) upside down. Some days I wake aching with what I’ve lost. Some days I barely notice my missing digits. I’m sure that’s just how it’s going to be from now on. I feel I’m supposed to have something optimistic to say, but I’m feeling very flat. My prognosis is far, far better than anyone could have expected of me, but I still struggle and fight with clumsy fingers that don’t work the way they ‘should’. The memory of the sun cutting in from my right before the car went over still sends a chill down my spine that leaves me shaking, whether I’m driving or not. I worried about my ability to make a career as a costumer before the accident - while this has increased my resolve, it certainly hasn’t increased my ability, or lessened my worries at all. Booking in with my mental health care team soon. I think I’m being too hard on myself, but I am still sad. And I’m allowed to be, as long as I keep moving forward and make space for that sadness in my otherwise full life. After all, 90% of my fingers is still an HD in finger-having! I hope the new normal is good enough. #mindfulness #bekind #selfcare #tea #teatime #iamenough #sixmonths #shortfingerslongstrides #contemplative #commentsoff
