@commitmentabsolute
lights are dimmed, the cramped space offering her the seclusion she had sought after.. after last night. limbs, muscles, her whole feeling almost numb as she’d covered herself in a blanket. she doesn’t come out to eat, doesn’t come out to converse unless officially requested-- thankfully she hadn’t been mostly because the general was still debating their destination-- and so she remains. jessika pava was no stranger to loss. no stranger to the realities of this war, but at this moment she felt as if she were being torn apart by the sheer weight of it. away from shara, a friendship that was powerful in its own way torn to shreds, the unbelievable number of friends suddenly wiped from the universe by the first order. luminous beings, poe had once said, but she didn’t feel as if anything was luminous at the present.
it’s not until a small rapping is heard at the door that she moves enough to look at the door, the voice behind it causing her to turn back over. her features are tinted a clammy ghost-white, hair clinging to her face as she takes a steadying breath. if this was official she would have at least attempted some projection of collected presence but as it stood, she wasn’t up for round two and made the conscious decision to ignore him until he went away. she had already given him her heart in the form of that datapad, what more could he want from her? but then the door is opened and jessika suddenly freezes as if a bucket of cold water has been thrown over her. it’s not him that she first connects gazes with but the data pad in his hands, traitorous eyes watering again of their own volition. “it’s all i had of her with me.” she manages though her voice isn’t quite right, sounding worn. this wasn’t how she normally was, everything feeling as if it was rapidly spinning out of control; this whole situation was one kriffing mess.
