#communicating while autistic

[anonymouscanine]

"Be Candid with me"

Over the years of my office jobs, I have tried a lot of ways to get people to communicate with me in a way I understand. Once people get to know me, they usually clue in to be direct and not talk around things or I'm not going to get it. The hard part is new people and how to get to that direct communication quickly without weeks or months of confusion first. Lately, the trick I've been using is variations of "Be candid with me"

"Candor" - (Honesty, Frankness, directness)

I would like your candid opinion/advice, ...

I would appreciate your candor, ...

Please be candid with me, ...

What are your candid thoughts?

I think this works on people because it's an unusual word so it doesn't get missed or glossed over and it specifically asks them to communicate with your directly, but in a way that's "special" or "secretive" or "personable".

Either way, it seems to be a more concise way of getting Neurotypical people to communicate more directly with me, that they seem to feel more comfortable with.

[anonymouscanine]

If you are like me, and frequently find yourself in arguments where the conclusion is that you both agree and don't know why you're arguing, this may help:

Practice replying to other people's statements with "I agree, and ..."

I have found that I often forget to tell people I agree, and they take my statement extending their statement, or giving my related experience, as if I'm giving a counter statement.

[anonymouscanine]

Using black and white thinking as a source of strength and building trust:

- We said we would do the thing, so we're going to do it.

- I said it would happen, so I will make sure it happens.

- I wish I could tell you what you want will happen, but I don't make promises I don't have the power to ensure come true. All I can promise is my intention and my future actions.

[anonymouscanine]

Just another reminder that it might not be your autism, it might just be the other person is bad at communicating:

(text conversation)

Me: Do you want A? Or would you rather Not A?

Them: Yes please!

Me, trying hard to find the polite way of pointing that they have communicated no information to me.