i really should stop to measure my life according to my grades. it is making me angry and sick and ugh.
but the grades i got now are my final grades (mostly) and those are really not good enough. my grades are really not good enough and i am angry. three subjects are okay, but the rest is not good enough.
especially my grade in english makes me angry. i am two points below my last grade and i really don't understand this? Because i wrote the same grades as last year. My vocab test wasn't that good but well, this happens. i don't like this stubborn vocab lerning thing. It is just not my cup of tea and i can't do this in a good way. i learn vocabs by reading them. and that is my problem because it is sometimes hard for me to find the "right" word the teacher wants in her test. i probably find a thousand synonyms and not the word i should have learned.
and i know that i am really quite but i can't help my self and it is really hard to just raise my hand and say something.
(this all reads like a cheap excuse but whatever)
(i am really angry. and the anger aims at myself.)