#complete and utter randomness

[loki-the-bi-frost]

Me: Ugh I hate that my lips are always chapped. If only there was some way to fix them

Also me: *bites or licks lips every .02 seconds*

[loki-the-bi-frost]

I’ve failed existence’s vibe check

[the-potpourri]

"Chubby Toriel is good. Very good."

[the-potpourri]

“Brain, I really don’t need the thought of the scary clown fairy lady in a micro-bikini going through my head right now. That is a why boner I just don’t want to deal with at all.”

[junkyard-d0g]

So, there are tons of people invading my territory because of the holiday weekend. They're not only clogging up the highway but the internet too. Ugh, get out of my wooooods. Seriously, there isn't enough infrastructure for this. (Especially for the way these people drive. Your "cabin" isn't going anywhere. Slow down. Quit passing on curves. Just STOP. [My issues with what people call a "cabin" is a post for a whole different day, but if it has a jacuzzi, or it's bigger than the house I live in, it's not an effing cabin.])

Above all, do not, DO NOT gawk at my license plate and then at me, as if I'm one of the weekend oddities and attractions you've left the city to come see. Yes. You're driving through a reservation. Yes, I'm Native American. NO, I DON'T LIVE IN A TEEPEE OR TALK TO ANIMALS. (My ancestors didn't even live in teepees, thanks very much.)

Well, I mean, I do talk to animals. I talk to my dog all the time. "What's up, pup?" She doesn't, typically, answer. "Puppy, what're you doin?" She rolls over and eyeballs me. "Oohyiy! Go see!" She checks the doors and windows and barks for five minutes, possibly at nothing, just because I've convinced her that one of us, doesn't matter who, heard something suspicious.

And a huge dragonfly tried to come in the doorway the other day. I said, "Sorry buddy. Turn around." And turned him around with a hand flick. And there was a spider on my patio crawling toward me. I said, "This porch ain't big enough for the both of us. Get out." Another hand flick. Hummingbird flew practically up my nostril, and I said, "Excuse me! Terribly sorry!" I wasn't sure who was in whose way...

For some reason, this reminds me of this time I was working in Nebraska and a cicada flew into the security car I was driving. Oh man. Those fuckers are LOUD AS SHIT. It just came screaming in the window and landed on the floor at my feet. And it was buzzing and carrying on. And I was like, "Dude, you need to stop. I'm trying to drive through a client site." And I finally had to pull over, because he was too big and effing loud and hitting my legs and shit. And as soon as I stopped the car and reached down to try to find this thing, it went silent. It was just deadly silent in the car. I had to get out and use a flashlight to find this thing. And when I finally did, it was on it's back, all dead like. I reached out to pick it up, the moment my hand got near it, it went off like an alarm, just BZZZZZT BZZZZZZT and started flailing around. I said, "YOU LIAR" and flicked it out of the car so I could get back to work.

So yeah. I guess I talk to animals. Looool.

[tyki075]

OC Question Thingy (filled out with awesomeness)

I DID NOT MAKE THE QUESTIONS, VETUS199914 DID, I ONLY MADE THE ANSWERS

Choose 12 characters to participate in this meme and list them below:

1. Rupett: A young person who is hated by everyone, has green hair and buck teeth, she is shy and doesn't really give a shit about what happens in the world around because she knows it won't actually help her life. Depressed most of the time and usually forgotten. (From my story, Fairly Twisted Fairy Tales)

2. Neil: A sadistic vampire (I swear to god, if your mind goes to Twilight, then there's something wrong with you) who hates most people. Doesn't care about anyone and is sort of a dick. No one really understands him. He has a habit of killing for fun, but the other members of the group do there best to stop him. (From my story, Neil, it hasn't been named yet so that's what I'm calling it because he's the main character)

3. Terry: An annoying werewolf who follows Neil around like a lost puppy. Literally. She is nice to most people and always gives Neil a chance, she loves to read and spends a lot of time trying to cheer people up and trying to make Neil because just a little bit kind to someone, anyone. Is dating Lilith, so she's homosexual. (From my story, Neil)

4. Justin: A WAY too nice fallen angel who has the power of super strength. Always gives people a chance and does everything he can to make people happy and nice to everyone else. Is way to optimistic at times and gets on everyone's nerves. Fell because he wanted to follow his friend, Mia when she fell. Worships the ground Mia walks on. (From the story Mia, which also doesn't have an actual title so suck it up)

5. Mia: A complete bitch of a fallen angel who has a tendency to lash out at people. Her power is healing though she rarely uses it for the good of people.She's always clashing swords with Neil (sometimes literally), probably because they are exactly alike. Fell from Heaven because she broke up with her boyfriend... Jesus, that is (not a good choice). Justin annoy her to no extent but she does care about him, though she would never admit it. (From the story, Mia)

6. Lilith: A fallen angel with some issues, such as, she has no idea how to use her teleportation powers, every time she tries, she ends up in a completely different location than she intended, the others know this but they still force her to teleport them someplace from time to time. Cares about most people but there are still those that get on her nerves, though she would never show it. She is dating Terry. (From the story, Neil)

7. Dave: An overly enthusiastic drunk who drags everyone into dangerous situation that they would rather not be in. Has a tendency to not think about anything he is doing and just going with the flow, this can be a good thing and a bad thing for both himself and those around him. Shares an apartment with his friend, Jason though he never pays his rent, which pisses Jason off to no extent. Though he always annoys his friend, he does care about him and is grateful for all that Jason has done for him. (From the story, I'll Call it Utopia, hahaha, this one has a title!)

8. Jason: A responsible guy who takes on the role of taking care of others. Though, he doesn't know it, he does so much for others and they are extremely grateful, namely his roommate Dave. He is nice to other people, unless they do something pretty bad and sets him on end then he loses his temper and gets VERY aggressive and terrifying. (From the story, I'll Call it Utopia)

9. Aki/ Akio: A young magician who was prophesized to end the War of Magic. He' gets annoyed easily and his twin brother, Yasha, is over-joyed when he makes him pissed off. His nickname is Aki but most people call him Sparkle because in Japanese, Aki means Sparkle. Though he gets annoyed easily he really  is a kindperson that just wants to save the people he loves. (From the story, Sparkle, though, alas, this is not it's true title, for I have yet to come up with one)

10. Yasha: A responsible young Necromancer, also he's Aki's twin brother. He enjoys nothing more than to piss off his younger brother  by throwing sparkles at him and calling him Sparkle. He is kind though he is on the side of evil and wants nothing more than for his brother to be safe and to come join him so he can protect him, his motives are good, but, like all other villains, his actions are damn evil, though he doesn't mean them to be. (From the story, Sparkle)

11. The Narrator: Another drunk who cares about nobody, the only person that he is even close to having a friendship with is Dave, and only because he respects his drinking habits. He has a habit of narrating other's lives in rude ways that shows that he thinks that they are pathetic. No one knows his real name and he doesn't tell anybody about himself, not because he's hiding anything, just that he doesn't want them to know more about him than he sees fit. (From the story, Fairly Twisted Fairy Tales)

12. Jez: The most unlucky person in the entire world, nothing good ever happens to Jez. She's nice but has 0 self confidence and doesn't do anything out of her comfort zone, well she tries not to anyway, usually, she's forced to by a her 'friends' when they need something done. (From the story, Unlucky, not it's real name either for I am too lazy to come up with one right now)

By the way, the mushroom room is practically the room of shame, and is also from Ouran High School Host Club.

1. Hello all! Now to get the ball rolling lets all sit in a circle and play a game to break the ice, and please, let’s try to keep the fighting to a minimum. Everyone will be playing Never Have I Ever. The goal of this game is to go around in a circle stating something you have never done. Anyone who has done that thing has to take a drink. Of alcohol. Yes, people will most likely be getting drunk. The person who is drunkest by the end of the game loses, and most sober wins. Explain in detail just how this goes. Alright, shit’s about to get real. Everyone sits in a circleish shape the order is, Neil, Terry, Lilith, Mia, Dave, Jason, Justin, Aki, Yasha, Jez, The Narrator, and Rupett is not allowed to take part in this activity. First is Neil, something he hasn’t done is compliment someone. Everyone isn’t shocked, which is sort of sad, the people that have to drink are, Lilith, Justin, Jason, Dave, Justin, Justin, Justin, Terry, Justin, Aki, Justin, Yasha, Justin, Jez, Justin, and Justin. Next up is Terry something she hasn’t done is kiss a boy. The people that have to drink are, Mia, Dave, and Jason. Next is Lilith something she hasn’t done is teleported to somewhere that was intentional. No one had to drink noting that no one else has teleportation powers. Next is Mia something she hasn’t done is kiss a mortal, at this point people are wondering who exactly she has kissed (Jesus). The people who had to drink are, Lilith, Terry, Yasha, Aki, Jason, and Dave. Next is Dave something he hasn’t done is pay his rent. (Jason, “Oh, I know he hasn’t.”) The person who had to drink is Jason. Next is Jason something he hasn’t done is been able to stop Dave from dragging him into dangerous situations. No one really got that so no one drank.  Next is Justin something he hasn’t done is kill someone. The people that have to drink (is it sad that there are people who have to drink) are, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Yasha, Neil, Neil, The Narrator, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Jez, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, and Neil. Next is Aki something he hasn’t done is not gotten pissed when someone said Sparkle. Everyone just sort of stared at him for a bit, except for Yasha who sighed and chuckled. Next is Yasha something he hasn’t done is stood up for his brother when he was called Sparkle. Again, everyone sort of stared at him wondering what the fuck was up with these twins, except for Aki who got pissed. Next is Jez something she hasn’t done is have good luck. Everyone takes a drink. Last is The Narrator something he hasn’t done is told things as they truly are. No one takes a drink. The most sober is Rupett who is in the mushroom room and the drunkest are Neil and Justin, for compliments and killing. Happy times are at hand.

    2. All twelve characters have been stranded on a desert island. Each character has one item they have managed to bring with them. Which characters’ items will be able to help them survive or escape this pickle? Which character resorts to sneakily offing influential characters to form their own empire on this island? Who gets offed? Who ends up enslaved and who ends up in favor to the new ruler? Who eventually escapes the island? Everyone gets stuck on an island, Neil has a knife, Terry has a book, Justin has a blanket (like a baby blanket), Jez forgot her item, Mia has a flamethrower, Dave has a bratwurst, Jason has an invoice, Rupett doesn’t own anything, The Narrator has a microphone, Aki has sparkle remover, Yasha has sparkles (you can see what’s going on right?), and Lilith didn’t really come up with anything. Neil, Terry, Justin, Mia, and Dave have things that will help them survive. Neil starts killing people to rule the island. Rupett, Justin, Jez, and Dave end up getting killed by Neil so he can achieve island domination. Aki, Terry, Lilith, and Jason get enslaved by the new ruler and Mia, The Narrator, and Yasha are in Neil’s favor.  Jason, The Narrator, Neil, Terry, and Lilith all get off the island. Yasha and Aki are left behind.

  3. Character two has befallen a horrible deaging spell that has reverted them to their five year old selves, memories and all. How does everyone react? After much deliberation character nine has been volunteered to babysit character two. How does this go? Meanwhile character four has been sent out to get character two something to eat. Do they succeed in this? Is the food they get something five year old character two would like to eat? Neil somehow turns five (KOMUI!!!!) again. Everyone is surprised… and a bit relieved, he can’t kill now… right? Aki is forced to babysit, it does not go well, baby Neil takes one look at Aki and somehow starts laughing evilly and yelling sparkle over and over again. Aki starts to sob and runs off to the mushroom room. Justin goes out to get baby Neil something to eat, he chooses lucky charms, which Jez is allergic to. He gets back and gives them to baby Neil, who then proceeds to shove them up Jez’s ass, who then has an allergic reaction. When Neil gets turned back he remembers nothing. Jez is sitting on the floor rocking back and forth sobbing and cowering away from Neil, Justin is sobbing and yelling, “WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST LUCKY CHARMS!!!????” “What the fuck does that mean?” Neil asks. Aki is still in the mushroom room and is also crying and muttering something along the lines of, “I’m not that sparkly.” “What’s with him?” Neil asks. Mia is laughing her ass off. Terry is cooing and saying, “You were such a cute little baby!” “HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT?! I DON’T OWN ANY BABY PICTURES!!” Neil yells. All in all, it was a very traumatic experience for most involved, Neil is under the assumption that everyone has gone completely insane.

    4. All the characters have discovered they are demigods. Who are their parents? What are their powers? Everyone finds out they are demigods, Neil’s parent is Hades, he already had demonic powers so nothing really changes, Terry’s parent is Demeter, which is weird because she kills all the plants she owns, Justin’s parent is Iris, he now has the ability to fart rainbows, Yasha’s parent is Hades, he gets the power to sort of raise the dead, Aki’s parent is Apollo, he now sparkles in the sunlight, Mia’s parent is Zeus, her power is the ability to smite people, Lilith’s parent is Hermes, she still can’t teleport anywhere close to decent, Dave’s parent is Dionysus, he gets drunk pretty easily, Jason’s parent is Athena, he still is more sensible than Dave (not hard to do), The Narrator’s parent is Dionysus, he also gets REALLY drunk, Jez’s parent is Tyche, she inherited NOTHING from her mother, and Rupett’s parent is Aphrodite, oh the irony.

    5. Character five, character eleven, and character twelve all go to the mall! One character gets lost in Nordstrom’s, one pigs out in the food court, and the last buys a whole bunch of merchandise. Which is which? Mia, The Narrator, and Jez all go to the mall, why, I’m not totally sure, they just do. Jez gets lost in the Nordstrom’s, Mia eats EVERYTHING, and The Narrator buys EVERYTHING. They then leave without Jez who wonders around the mall for 12 hours, even after it closes.

    6. Oh noes! Characters three, ten, and one have all switched genders! Does this affect them much? Strain any relationships? Cause someone to hide under a table until this disaster is reverted? Terry, Yasha, and Rupett have all switched genders. Terry is now Ty, Yasha is now Yasmine, and Rupett is now Rupert. Terry, or Ty, now finds it much easier to fuck Lilith, Yasha, or Yasmine, now finds it more normal to go out and buy truck loads of sparkles, and Rupett, or Rupert, doesn’t give two fucks. Aki and Yasha’s relationship is a bit strained, noting that Aki now has a twin sister. Neil hides under a table and refuses to come out until Terry gets her boobs back.

    7. Character seven is hit over the head with a giant anvil and gets amnesia for three whole weeks! What happens? Dave gets hit over the head with an anvil (Jason finally snapped) and lost his memory for three weeks. During those three weeks Neil persuaded him that Mia was his girlfriend, Mia was not happy. Dave tried to kiss her and Mia tried to kill him. He kept following her around like a little lost puppy until she hit him over the head again and he got his memory back.  Jason was quite sad about this, things were finally quiet for a little bit.

    8. Characters five, eight, and six all get lost in a big, dark, creepy forest filled to the brim with weird, blood thirsty creatures! Dun, dun, duuuuuuun!!! What in the world happens?! Mia, Jason, and Lilith get trapped in a forest (thanks Lilith!).  Some creatures tried to attack Mia but were easily destroyed; they then went after Jason who ran around in circles for half an hour screaming, “GET THEM OFF ME, GET THEM OFF ME!! I HATE BUGS!!! EEEEEEPPPPP!!!!” And Lilith ran away from Mia who had tried to get some of her new minions (the bug things) to kill her. They get Lilith to teleport them out though they end up in Neil’s bedroom while he is changing and get chased around the house for 4 hours.

    9. An event that future generations will call the Great Bodyswap of 2014 occurs. One is placed into two, two into three, three into four, etc. until twelve who is now in one’s body. What sorts of chaos ensues? Rupett goes into Neil’s body, Neil goes into Terry, Terry into Justin, Justin into Mia, Mia into Lilith, Lilith into Dave, Dave into Jason, Jason into Aki, Aki into Yasha, Yasha into The Narrator, The Narrator into Jez, and Jez into Rupett (oh you poor baby). When Neil sees what has become of his body he freaks out, “AAAAHHHHHHH!!! NO! GET OUT OF MY BODY, MY SEXY, SEXY, BODY!!!! I HAVE BOOBS; I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH BOOBS!!!” He then gets punched REALLY hard by Terry in Justin’s body, “Don’t man handle my boobs, you pervert! Your eyes better not wander to places they don’t belong!!” Dave, in Jason’s body, needs to go to the bathroom. “NNNOOOOOO!!! YOU CAN’T SEE THAT!!!! I STILL NEED MY DIGNITY!!!” Jason yells, as Aki. “Would you rather I shit your pants?” “NNNOOOOOO!!!! FINE, BUT GO IN THERE BLINDFOLDED AND DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING!!!!” Jason screams. “How am I going to wipe?” Dave asks. “Don’t.” Jason says. “So you want shit stuck to your ass?” Dave says. “NNNOOOOOO!!!! FINE, BUT DON’T DO ANYTHING RASH!!!” Jason and Dave discover how awkward going to the bathroom can be. Aki hasn’t really changed but he looks over at Yasha and very slowly and deliberately ruffles up his slicked back hair. “NNNOOOOOO!!! YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TAKES ME TO GET IT LIKE THAT!!!!” Yasha, in The Narrator, shrieks. “I wonder how you do necromancer magic.” Aki says, snapping his fingers. Little skeletons pop up from the ground and bite Terry, in Justin’s body, in the ass. “Hey, don’t do that to my body!” Justin, in Mia, yells. Justin now has the ability to heal people; he rushes around healing as many people as he can. “HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!! DON’T USE MY POWER FOR GOOD!!” Mia, in Lilith’s body yells, “I’LL KILL YOU!! No, you’re in my body… I’LL KILL TERRY!!” “Not in my body you won’t!” Lilith, in Dave yells, “I can feel my liver failing.” “I don’t drink that much!!” Dave says, having returned from the bathroom. “Riiiiggghhhhhttt.” Jason says.  Jez is in the mushroom room… again. She’s stuck in Rupett’s body now. Rupett, on the other hand, is having fun, “Damn, I’m sexy.” “Are you confessing your love for me?” Neil says, “I understand but try to keep the praise to a minimum.” Neil squishes his newfound boobs. “DON’T DO THAT, PERVERT!!! I’LL KILL RUPETT WITHOUT ANY REGRET!!!” Terry yells. “NNNNOOOO, NOT MY BEAUTIFUL BODY!!!” Neil yells. “Ouch.” Rupett says. “Am I going to get bad luck now?” The Narrator, in Jez’s body, wonders. “Hey, shut up.” Mumbles a traumatized Jez, who’s still in the mushroom room.

    10. Character three decides to go into matchmaking. Whom do they pair up with whom? Are those people happy with character three’s choices? Terry begins matchmaking, she pairs Neil with Justin (for balance), Mia with Aki, Dave with The Narrator (drinking buddies!), Jason and Yasha (just ‘cause), Lilith and Terry (no one touches my baby!!), and Jez and Rupett (poor Jez). Only Lilith and Terry are happy. Everyone else tries to kill Terry, including Justin, which means she did something truly AWFUL.

    11. Character eleven decides to give character one a makeover! How does this go? Did eleven improve one’s appearance? Does one look worse now? Did eleven spend more time on themselves than on one? The Narrator tries to give Rupett a makeover but nothing seems to work, all makeup just bounces off her face. The Narrator just gave up after a period and gave himself one.

    12. Characters eight and two decide to spar. What weapons are used? Who wins? How long does the match go? Who stands on the sidelines laughing? Neil and Jason decide to spar.  They decided to use no weapons; Jason forgets that Neil has demonic powers. Neil obviously comes out victorious, Jason ends up with his face in the mud and his entire body literally steaming. It took about 8 seconds for Neil to beat him and I’m pretty sure Neil was going easy on him. Mia, The Narrator, and Dave stand on the sidelines laughing at Jason’s sorry ass (Jason, “Thanks pal!!”).

    13. Character five and character nine have entered into a highly committed relationship full of public displays of affection and mushy gushy lovey dovey stuff. Where do they go on their first date? Who first kisses whom? Do they ever have sex? Mia and Aki enter into a highly committed relationship. On their first date they get drunk and they go to a church so Mia can flip off her ex. Everyone in the church is so shocked, “You’re going to Hell!!” They yell. “I’m already there you old bitches!!! Fuck you Jesus!!! This is what you get for dumping me and kicking my ass out of Heaven!!!” Mia yells. “That’s my girlfriend!!” Aki yells proudly. Aki first kisses Mia to disguise them from the angry crowd of old church goers that were after them. They haven’t had sex.

  14. Character nine has died a horrible, painful death! Their best friend character twelve is grief stricken and goes to character one for comfort. Who plans the funeral? Who cries the most? Who laughs their ass off? Does anyone try to resurrect them? Aki has died a terrible death (somewhere in Heaven Jesus is chuckling). Jez is heartbroken and goes to Rupett for comfort (apparently they have bonded over the past couple scenarios).  Yasha and Justin team up to plan the funeral, the coffin is pink and sparkly, the tomb stone says, “Here lies the sparkly one, Akio blank. Sharing is caring and friendship is magic.” Mia cries the most; he did save her from some religious psychos after all. Neil and Jesus laugh their asses off. Neil and Yasha team up to resurrect him, simply so he can see the coffin and gravestone. They succeed and, let me tell you, he was SO pissed.

    15. Trying to fix the satellite dish on the empire state building character six finds themselves stranded. How do they escape this predicament?  Lilith finds herself stranded on the empire state building, to get out she teleports. She ends up on Utopia (the cannibal island that Dave and Jason discovered.) she was chased around by cannibals and government maniacs until she literally swam back home.

    16. Character five has proposed to character nine! Who’s the maid of honor? The best man? How about the flower girl? Who cries? Who protests? Who dances with whom during the reception? Who’s having an affair with either the bride or groom (or variations thereupon)? Mia proposes to Aki. The maid of honor is Terry; they bonded over their drunken escapades. The best man is Yasha, who throws sparkles during the ceremony and tries to make everything involving the wedding sparkly. The flower girl is Lilith who was forced by an unknown person to throw sparkles instead of flowers (I wonder who could have done that *cough cough* Yasha *cough cough*) Justin cries, “My little girl is getting married!” “I’M NOT YOUR LITTLE GIRL YOU PERVERT!!!!” Mia yells. “Mine is too, Justin, mine is too.” Yasha says. “Fuck off, bitch!” Aki yells. “How dare you say that to your father!!!?” Yasha yells. “I’LL KILL YOU!!!” Aki yells, chasing Yasha around.  Neil protests. He says, and I quote, “NO, YOU CAN’T BE HAPPY!! NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO BE HAPPY IN MY PRESENCE!!!” “NEIL!! SIT DOWN!!” Terry yells. He sits down reluctantly.  No one dances, no one cares enough, and Rupett was the DJ so the music sucked. Mia accidentally kissed Yasha, thinking that it was Aki. They both promised to never speak of the incident to anyone. Yasha only agreed if she promised to supply him with sparkles for one year.

    17. All the characters get together to have a sleepover! Who gets annoyed and goes to sleep early? Who decides to watch scary movies? Who is sent to pop some popcorn? Who sits down to paint someone else’s nails? Who participates in a pillow fight? Who tests out an Ouija board? Everyone is having a sleepover, rejoice!!! The Narrator gets annoyed because he lost a drinking game against Dave and he goes to sleep early.  Neil decides to watch scary movies and he forces Justin to watch them with him, Justin cries during most of the movies. Lilith is sent to pop some popcorn, they would have sent Rupett just to get rid of her but they didn’t trust her with such a complex job. Yasha had brought some sparkly nail polish and Aki fell asleep so he set to work. (Dumbass Aki) Terry, Lilith, Justin, Dave, and Neil participate in a pillow fight, Neil wins noting that his pillow is filled with rocks. Rupett was forced to go to the mushroom room. Mia tests out an Ouija board with Jason, he doesn’t want to since it defies all logic, but she freaks him out by faking it and when she tells him it was fake he goes to the mushroom room.

    18.  Characters four, seven, and ten all decide to cook a meal for the rest of the characters. What do they cook? Who enjoys it? What's for dessert? Who insults the meal and the cooks then stomps out? Justin, Dave, and Yasha decide to cook for everyone else.  They cook an alcoholic meal with care bears and sparkles that spell out Aki. The Narrator enjoys it a little too much. For dessert there is a rainbow cake with WAY too many sparkles and WAY too much alcohol. Aki, Neil, and Mia insult the food and the cooks and stomp out. Aki also takes a piece of cake and smushes it in Yasha’s hair.

    19. All the characters have been accepted to Hogwarts! Who’s in what house? Are they content with their sorting? Which class is everyone’s favorite? Who gains and who loses house points? Is anyone appointed prefect? Which teachers favor which students? Who’s on the Quidditch team? Which house wins the Quidditch and house cups? Who’s constantly in detention? Slytherin: Neil, Yasha, Mia, and The Narrator. Hufflepuff: Justin, Rupett, Justin, Jez, Justin, Terry, and Justin. (I think we forgot Justin) Gryffindor: Dave and Aki. Ravenclaw: Jason and Lilith. They are pretty happy with the results of their sorting; at least they can’t disagree with it. Everyone’s favorite class is Defense Against… Neil and Yasha. Justin and Jason gain house points. Neil, Mia, Neil, Terry, Neil, Lilith, Neil, Aki, Neil, Yasha, Neil, The Narrator, Neil, Dave, Neil, Jez, Neil, Rupett, and Neil all loose house points. Jason is the only prefect. Snape likes Neil and Yasha. McGonagall likes Jason. Flitwick likes Jason and Justin. That’s it. Neil, Mia, Yasha, Dave, Aki, and Terry are on the Quidditch teams. Slytherin wins the Quidditch cup and Ravenclaw wins the house cup. Who’s constantly in detention is everyone but Justin and Jason.

    Now to end this meme, I feel your characters will have many strong feelings about what I- I mean we, have put them through. Why don’t they share what they think with us?

Rupett: WHY?!

Neil: I… had… boobs! Terry, “GET OVER IT!! YOU PERVERT!!”

Terry: Neil man-handled me!

Justin: Sharing is caring and friendship is magic. Aki, “Wasn’t that on my grave?”

Mia: In what universe would I marry Sparkle? Aki: “DON’T CALL ME MORE SPARKLY THAN A NEWBORN UNICORN!!!” Mia, “I never said that.” Aki, “You were thinking it.”

Lilith: Neil man-handled my girlfriend!!! Neil, “LAY OFF!! IT WAS A TRAUMATIC TIME IN MY LIFE OKAY???!!!! MY BODY WAS CHANGING, I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND!!!” Terry, “THAT WAS MY BODY, PERVERT!!”

Dave: One more house pint. Jason, “Don’t you mean house point?” Dave, “No, I mean house pint, it’s a thing The Narrator and I made up.” Jason, *sigh* You idiot.” Dave, “I know you love me.” Jason, “I know you love my money.” Dave, “Yup!”

Jason: My roommate is an asshole.

Aki: I’M NOT THAT SPARKLY!!!!!

Yasha: What did Aki do to my hair??? That sparkly bastard!!! Aki, “Fuck you!”

The Narrator: *Hiccup* I hear fairieth!! Aki: “WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SPARKLY ASS FAIRY!!?? YOU DRUNKEN DOUCHE!!!”

Jez: *shudders in horror while she tries to get all the mushrooms off*

[goldflshturtle]

I posted the thing I said I was going to post, go me! I posted a thing on Tumblr! Now good bye, because my summer is just going to be a chaotic mess of never ending stress. 

I'll probably stop in sometimes to argue about Frozen related things. And by Frozen I definitely mean Frozen foods HA. Like ice cream, ice cream is delicious. Whoever says otherwise, come at me bro.

My internship starts tomorrow, and I forgot to buy food to take for lunch. Oh man, when I move I won't be close enough to Wal-Mart to shop at midnight for when I inevitably procrastinate grocery shopping like I always do...

I still want to do the Hans survey, though? Soon™ 

[ashley-cashley-88]

Story of my life

Jami:  I thought you were good at bullshitting?

Me:  I'm good at bullshitting research papers, not reality.