Case Study: Complete Roof Installation Failure in Gilbert, NE
Brian Dennis Roofing recently received a call from a Mr. Gordon G. of Gilbert, Nebraska complaining that his roof had been installed perfectly on the first try by one of our competitors, who shall remain nameless. (Let’s just call them the Poor Man’s Brian Dennis Roofing for the purposes of this case study.) Mr. Gordon G. told Brian Dennis that he had given explicit instructions to the Poor Man’s Brian Dennis, telling them to install it imperfectly the first time so that he would have an excuse to call them back again and complain about it until he was blue in the face. Because it was installed perfectly on the first try, though, Mr. Gordon G. was left with nothing to complain about, and the satisfaction was killing him.
Because we at Brian Dennis Roofing are extremely dedicated to customer satisfaction--or dissatisfaction, in this case--we could not let Mr. Gordon G.’s satisfaction rest without doing something to irk the bejeebers out of him and give him the proper reason to complain that he so fervently desired. So we had two of our least-skilled craftsmen chug a few jagermeisters, handed them a couple sledgehammers, and told them to just go to town on Mr. Gordon G.’s pristine new roof. Once the Poor Man’s Brian Dennis Roofing’s work was completely undone, Brian Dennis Roofing swept in to provide Mr. Gordon G. with the shoddy craftsmanship he so desperately desired.
Mr. Gordon G’s less than stellar new roof now features not one but fifteen overdriven nails, twenty instances of bent or damaged flashing, and a mix of two different types of shingles, whose colors don’t exactly clash, but their appearance is enough to make one feel slightly nauseous without exactly knowing why. In short, it’s one of the worst roofing jobs we’ve ever done, and we couldn’t be more proud of it!
Mr. Gordon G. was so thrilled with the overall atrociousness of his new roofing job that he not only called us up to complain for a solid 45 minutes, but on top of that, he also paid our office a visit and took a steaming hot dump right on our front porch--a sure sign of a job poorly done!
Need your annoyingly perfect roofing job undone and then redone in a much shoddier manner? Give Brian Dennis Roofing a call at 1-555-555-555-555-555-555-555-555-55555 to schedule your free* estimate today!
*Estimate actually costs $5.99 plus tax and tip.
-Joe