I hate being confronted by my own bias. But it’s super necessary.
Knowing where to draw a line in the sand of what to fight against and what to try to tolerate and understand is really really hard sometimes. And sometimes not lashing out in anger and confusion and outrage is difficult.
There are times for civility, and there are times for complete angry outrage.
I just need a lot of people to remember that sometimes righteous anger can sometimes turn the wheel too far. Cause us to overcorrect.
Think hard about the decisions we are making right now. Think hard about right and wrong, and most of all remember that most things are shades of grey, most things are not black and white.
But some things are. Just be really careful about deciding which things.
It’s easy to be blinded by your own unshakeable faith in your righteous cause and miss the nuance.
Be confident in your fight for justice. But not blindly so.
There are SO MANY situations that seem black and white on the surface and then you hear an anecdote about a consequence that you didn’t think of and it changes your whole perspective.
Try to remember those exist in almost every situation. You can’t think of everything, or see things from every angle, automatically.
I guess that is the bottom line of this stupid rambling post. You are not all knowing or all seeing and you are human and you make unforeseen mistakes.
Try to override your knee jerk reactions. Then think. Then decide. Then act.
Busy night in my brain last night, coming up with dream ideas that I have no way to actually complete... but interesting enough still on waking that I want to make a note of. :)
(behind a cut because, well, other people's dreams...)
So the setting was supposed to be a historical medieval European town, in a Jewish ghetto. There was a young couple in love, engaged to be married, but the young man's work took him outside the ghetto so he could earn enough money to support the two of them, and one night on his way home, a combination of accidental circumstance and boiling-over racism lead to him killed at the beginning of a pogrom that burned most of the Jewish quarter to the ground - very tragic romance sort of thing. In the future, a company with quantum time-travel technology saw this, and decided that it would make a perfect subject for their next big movie Oscar-bait project -- they would send back a bunch of microscopic cameras, plant a few attractive, camera-friendly agents to nudge things to even further cinematic heights, and then when the course of events was the perfect blend of beautiful tragedy, this would snap into being historical reality, they would capture it all on film, and win all sorts of awards, make a lot of money, that sort of thing...
I was (in the dream) going to be the young man's 'best friend,' to make sure he got into the right sort of screen-friendly trouble to garner sympathy from a modern audience - but secretly I was hoping to nudge events so that the couple (who were my friends) could both survive and escape together in the end, and maybe minimize other deaths along the way. There was also a central antagonist provided by the studio, a handsome blond man to provide a sneering menace and focus for the camera - who had signed up for this because he 'secretly' just liked to kill people, beautiful heroine included, and as many others as he could get to along the way. And then there was a secret agent, who turned out to be an older me from another timeline, that wanted to spoil the entire movie plot, prevent the tragedy from happening in the first place, and if I was going to have to kill some racist assholes in the past to do it, it was still better than the hundreds of deaths that were going to accompany any other version.
There was going to be a whole timeline of overlapping, repeating events, as any of us could rewind time if things got too far off the course we wanted, but we didn't have access to the camera footage (for 'naturalistic' purposes) so we'd only know what we actually could find out about, and plots and plans and counter-plans, as we all tried to make our own version and prevent the others from stopping it - but we couldn't be too overt about it, because the people working the cameras would just rewind it if it didn't appear to fit the 'historical plot' - it all had to just come together, and in a way that would make a great story for the audience.
Anyway, fun complicated idea - I have no capacity to actually produce it, so there's probably a good reason the dream didn't go much beyond actually laying out all the premise for me. Setting aside the complexity of the repeating timeline and conveying everyone's plots, I don't know enough actual Jewish history to make up a good fake one, let alone a good fake that could then be presented as another version for a modern media audience... Also there's the thing where the obvious 'good' ending would be for the whole movie to get spoiled, but I don't know what would make it not have the problem of 'but this doesn't address the actual long-standing racial tension;' maybe it's enough to present it as a good thing that time-traveling movie executives can't exploit this specific tragedy, and that the problems of racism and hate don't lend themselves to cinematic solutions -- but also I want my dreams to have a good story! :)
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I've been thinking about this for a little while now and I wanted to tell someone about it
My mom, my brother, and I were watching the news, and there was a picture of two men kissing. My brother says, "Two men kissing!? That's disgusting!!!!!!", probably coming from a place of genuine disgust of every kind of physical intimacy because he is 7. My mom says, " I agree. It is gross." This post is about my reaction.
So I get a little peeved, rightfully. It's just kissing, right, what's the big deal just because it's two guys doesn't mean it's any different omg mom you always do this quit promoting discrimination against LGBT people, and my mom's all like, "I'm not! I, personally, think it's gross but that doesn't mean I'm promoting hatred."
I think I made some excellent points about how acting like there is any difference between straight and gay relationships is promoting harmful ideas, and my mom sends one right back at me by saying she only said she thinks it's gross not that it's gross objectively. I sort of step back to think a little, and she goes on to say things along the lines of "how can you think i'm discriminating i've been discriminated against some of my best friends are gay my nephew is gay and i love him i just don't want gay people kissing and whatever in front of me because i think that's gross you are getting way to caught up in this "gay" thing on Tumblr and you need to take a break."
She also says I'm too young to be saying things like this, I have no frame of reference, I need to see more places and do more things before I can make fully informed opinions. She reiterates to me that it's okay for us to have different opinions and neither of us is inherently right so I should just chill out.
Normally, I would be a little peeved about someone making assumptions about my life and knowledge, but this is my mom. She's known me my whole life. I've been very sheltered and have never experienced people yelling at me and not giving me equal opportunities because of my race, though to say I've never been discriminated against would be misguided and wrong. I've really noticed I have a hard time understanding that people I love, respect, and look up to can have opinions that I think are wrong. It's hard for me to accept that good people believe and think some not-so-good or outright bad things, and I need to understand that the world isn't black and white. I will meet people who I like and then we start talking about race, gender, sex, preference, weight, class, politics or any of the other controversial issues that could come up and realize that I really don't like some of the things they think. However, I like them and would probably do my best to keep our relationship going.
I know my mom is smart, wise, and don't take no shit, and I admire that. But, I really don't agree with what she says about preference and gender, two issues close to my heart, as a teen who's just growing into her sexuality and never felt completely sure about her gender, even now. I have an aunt who is everything I want to be when I'm older, but she flat out believes that homosexuality is wrong and caused the fall of the Roman Empire (i shit you not). She didn't go to my cousin's commitment ceremony because she felt it was wrong which is within her right obviously, but when I heard, I was really disappointed. Because to me these ideas are right and I hate the idea that either she's wrong or I am.
But I think what I'm starting to realize is that everyone thinks their right, but that doesn't mean they're bad people. In religion, you're either right or wrong or everyone's wrong, and of course you think you're right, so you fight to convert others so they can be right, too. But they don't want to convert because they think you're wrong, so they try and convert you and then you get mad and they get mad and it starts a fight or even a war.
Wow I guess this post is also about me wrestling with my faith in God (Christian). I have a really hard time believing we're right, they're wrong, and they should change, but in my personal narrative, I also have trouble believing that I'm not right and it's a dichotomy that I'm sure the people reading (if there are people reading this) understand. So I guess the points of this post are:
people are complicated
nothing is black and white
you can have a relationship with people who don't agree with you
