#comtegtivity

[soapberrysheriff]

Happy 4th of July!

To celebrate, we just got in new desks at the Department, more ergonomic for our various species of employees. Hey, good work health is exciting for us! 

We’ll also be having a beach barbecue down at Maamoul Park; everybody’s welcome to stop by, even if you’re not part of the Sheriff Department. Food will be provided by See You Cater Alligator, music by whatever member of the Department is tipsy enough to grab a guitar, and entertainment by a vampire vaudeville troupe who owes community service. 

Plus once it gets dark enough, all the witches in attendance will be organizing a ‘fireworks’ display that will result in souvenir gem-bead necklaces for all! (Be warned, those with softer dispositions should not stand too close to the fireworks because the gem-bead necklaces can sting like the dickens when they rain down.)

[soapberrysheriff]

not the brightest bulb

Got a call yesterday from The Token Arcade to come resolve a situation concerning an allium nymph who thought the claw toy game was rigged and retaliated in her ‘own particular idiom’, as sweet Concorde would say.

If anybody’s wondering where we got the base ingredient for those fantastic onion rings we served at the SBSD 4th of July bbq, wonder no further!

[soapberrysheriff]

The Sheriff puts up this exact same sign on his office when he’s napping in there

[soapberrysheriff]

It looks worse than it is! This is what happens when you’re conducting a run-of-the-mill response to a non-emergency call and the fellow living in the basement apartment thinks you’re there to seize his shipment of illegal selkie sand (the amphetamine, not actual sand). Don’t do drugs, kids.

[soapberrysheriff]

THE THREE HEADED DEER

As the mascot of the Soapberry Springs Sheriff Department, the Deer (fondly known as ThreeDee) adorns the more casual, unofficial artifacts around the station. Its name is used for the SBSD’s softball team, knitting circle, and running group, and its image is jealously guarded.

ThreeDee’s triple heads represent the three tenets of law enforcement in the Springs: Community, Integrity, and Creativity, sometimes shortened to ‘comtegtivity’ and used to mixed results. (The abbreviation, not the tenets themselves. The tenets are solid.)