A series of disconnected oneshots that poke fun at the fandom hivemind, canon, and past!me. I’m taking things that I’ve either observed or done myself and reframing them in parody where hopefully we can just all have some low stakes fun and, at best, maybe learn something about our favorite characters and writing.
Read on ffnet here.
Chapter Six- What in the World?
or Love, Love, Love part 2 of 2
part 1 here
"Look. I'll be happy to kiss you. Thrilled, even. But first—and this isn't always a prerequisite for me, but you called me 'babe' so I just gotta know—who are you?"
Leaf stared at the man across from her with wide eyes. Her face was flushed with embarrassment. She's been rejected—something that had never happened to her before—but worse than that, she was beginning to think that she'd made a terrible mistake.
"You…" Leaf started, backing away slowly, "You're not Blue, are you?"
"Nope, Gary Oak," Gary said, bristling. "People don't usually mistake me for anyone. I'm pretty unmistakable."
"Oak…" Leaf mused. Then, she began to look around. "Everything's a little off…I recognize some people, but then they're with people that I've never seen before. And why is everyone kissing?"
Gary put his hands up. "Hey, don't ask me! You were the one about to plant one on me. These are just a bunch of heterosexual monogamy addicts I'm surrounded by. I have no part in this."
"How did I even get here?" Leaf asked, a little more panicky. "I don't remember how I got here?"
"Again, your guess is as good as mine, sweetheart," Gary said with a shrug. "You just appeared out of nowhere."
"Okay. Okay." Leaf took a few calming breaths. "This is not my world. The Blue I know would never allow for four Team Rocket members to hang around here without a challenge."
Gary spun around to look at the two Team Rocket pairings. "Well, like I said, I'm not—Oh, what the hell?"
"What?" Leaf asked, following Gary's line of sight.
"Doppelgangers, two o'clock."
A glance to the right revealed two more newcomers approaching hand in hand. And, sure enough, the boy had tall, spiky hair like Gary and the girl was basically a hatless version of Leaf.
"Hey, guys!" the girl called as they passed unbothered through the circle of kissing couples. "What's up?"
"What's up?" Gary asked, becoming exasperated. "Who are you? Are you us?"
The girl laughed. "I don't think so! This is Blue and I'm Green."
Gary shook his head, suddenly having no patience for this. He had no idea if this Blue was the same Blue that Leaf spoke of—actually, judging by her expression, he probably wasn't—but, evidently, Green was not Leaf.
"You know what?" Gary said, beginning to back away, gesturing to the kissing couples. "I never wanted to be a part of this. I sure as hell don't want to be a part of whatever's happening with you mirror folk. So I'm out."
"Where are you going to go?" Leaf—or was it Green?—asked.
Gary shrugged. "No idea. But if you three could appear out of the blue, maybe I can disappear into it. Maybe into a world where I win the League."
"Careful what you wish for." The voice came from just behind him and Gary whipped around, finding himself face to face with another personal doppelganger smirking at him. "Those titles don't last forever."
Gary gave a shriek and ran away, ran for the hills. He released his Arcanine and hopped on top, unable to get out of this godforsaken field fast enough.
Any universe would be better than this one.
Moral: Alright, if you know anything about me, you know that I have major beef with Gary and Leaf. Leaf is a character from one game, FireRed/LeafGreen (actually, technically, she was in Colosseum and Battle Revolution too. And it's my belief that it was her, not Green, in Let's Go), and she's the playable character, so she has no discernible personality beyond average heroism for the Pokémon universe. But so many people ship her with Gary, I guess because of the idea of Blue/Green from the manga. But…Gary ≠ Blue and Leaf ≠ Green. Where is she coming from, ya'll? All you're doing is bandwagoning! Also, as stated last chapter, not every character needs to be paired off. You can leave Gary single!
Exception: The other thing you might know about me is that I'm fascinated by Universe crossing. I love the idea of the animeverse colliding with the gameverse or the mangaverse. So if you wanna do that, by all means. Otherwise, what is Leaf doing as the lone gameverse character in your anime fic?
