Just Breathe Normal
My first memories, post-surgery were of sounds. I don’t remember being able to open my eyes if I did it was for a brief second objects and people were a blur. I recall the sound of my wife’s voice “just breathe normal like your breathing thru a straw” and “everything is fine.” My mother stroking my arm telling me “everything is ok”. I remember my nose itched and every time I tried to scratch it I was denied by restraints. Then I tried to find out what time it was. I went into surgery at 9:00am and wanted to know what time it was so I motioned somehow with my right hand that I wanted a pen and paper. I recall trying to write the word “time?” My wife answered with a 1:30am. Wow I thought have I really been out of it for this long? Then I fell back asleep. Unknown to me at the time, it was a rough night they had a hard time getting my bleeding under control. One unit of whole blood and another unit of platelets later it slowed down and the nurses began the process of waking me up. My next memory was the sound of a nurse telling me to take a deep breath and “cough like you have never coughed before.” So I did and was suddenly freed from the tube down my throat.
The next 24 hours are still a little fuzzy perhaps from all the pain meds. But I recall the nurses having me sit up on the edge of the bed and try standing. It’s important to start walking as soon as possible after surgery to prevent blood clots and other nasty things from happening. Rolling over onto my side first and then pushing up with my arms till I was in a sitting position this was not easy my arms were weak and any kind of movement that involved the use of my chest muscles caused quite a bit of discomfort. But I made it and was soon roaming the halls.
Everyday a tube came out. First my urinary catheter, I was most nervous about this tube than any other thing coming out of my body but I have to say looking back I hardly noticed it was there and I have to admit it was nice not having to get up from bed and pee .This was followed by the pic line and one of my many IV’s.
Finally on the eve of my release the three chest tubes were due to come out. I had heard that this could be very painful so I tried to prepare for this by not thinking about it at all. A resident and a nurse came into my room and the first thing they said to me was “The good news is your tubes are coming out, the bad news is its going to hurt.” The nurse presided to tell me “you have to do 4 things while I pull these out and do them in order and if you don’t bad things will happen.” These four things involved a series of deep breathes grunting and bearing down as if I was going to the bathroom. I bore down expecting the worse pain ever but all I felt was a little pressure and that was it. One by one all three were excavated and I was one of the few lucky ones that didn’t find it incredibly painful.
To my surprise I was released on the fourth day, I was exhausted I hadn’t slept in days. It’s almost impossible to get some sleep while you’re in the hospital someone is always waking you up, checking in on you, taking you down stairs for a test, or taking your blood and vitals. Plus I had no appetite the entire time I was in the hospital so I ate very little. Nothing tasted good nothing felt good. I was eager to get home and get caught up on my sleep.
My discharge papers where processed and it was now time to leave. As I got into the car and started to drive off the hospital campus, I noticed something was very different. It was a beautiful fall day the trees were a different shade of green very vibrant the grass stood out I could see clearer, colors looked amazing. The air smelled fresh and clean, and I started to cry. When my wife asked me why I was crying I stated that I didn’t know if I was going to make it out of this place alive. I felt an overwhelming sense of peace, joy and gratitude to all who simply “did their job.” I was ready to start a new life. This was my re birth!