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Connie who's your favorite kid?
❛ You want me to PICK which of my wards is my favorite? That’s REAL fucked up, pal. They’re like my own kids. What kinda PARENT picks favorites outta their BROODS? – Nah. That’s how you give a munchkin ANXIETY. And I know I fuck up a LOT of things but I’ll never do somethin’ fuckin’ stupid like THAT.
– NEXT QUESTION, PLEASE!! ❜
hi total anon here imagine connie as steven q. universe's hormone monster // SORRY SUMMER
Prehensile hair is ALREADY reaching forward to trap the little Universe in a big, big hug to her furry frame.
That’s it.
She’s claimed Steven as her own. He’s one of her BABY BOYS now.
Connie did you know helga's parents wouldn't take her to her first day of kindergarten so she had to walk herself to school? She got drenched in the rain and a stray dog stole her lunch.
❛ Oh, trust me, baby, I’m WELL aware of the sit’iation.. ❜ So well aware, in fact, she’s already fuming at the thought.
❛ All I’m gonna say is that MIRIAM should check her smoothies before drinkin’ ‘em because just MAYBE I might spill a little Drain-o in there one day. And Big Bob? Well, he’s gonna feel even MORE bloated because I’m shovin’ EVERY beeper he still has UP HIS NEGLECTFUL ASS. ❜
"My parents suck. I wish you could stay forever." shining-stxrs Helga for Connie
Immediately her hair lifts and wraps around the girl, pulling her skinny frame up towards Connie’s larger one in an instant. She pulls Helga in tightly for a hug, rubbing her hand over the younger’s back with a reassuring hum in her voice. ❛ Awww – I know, Chickpea. But I ain’t goin’ anywhere, now.❜ Connie smiles softly, fangs poking out from behind her lips as she does so.
❛ And, besides, dumplin’ ... ❜ Connie defaults to running her claws through the blonde’s hair, playing with her pigtails in a delicate draw. ❛ I’ll be here for awhile, anyway. I don’t leave until I know you’re safe and sound. ❜ With a warm chuckle, she gently pokes Helga’s nose, tilting her large head with the affection. It always broke her heart to leave her charges but, FUCK, was it amazing when she knew she had done a good job. They’d get through this -- Connie was sure of it.
❛ Also, you can BET your ass I’m visiting you when you’re a BITCH of an adult. I gotta see my little babies all done grown up, you know !! Preferably when they’re at the age they can buy some good booze. ❜
@shining-stxrs
"Who are you? And how the hell did you get in my house?!" shining-stxrs (helga for Connie the hormone monstress)
❛ – WHO AM I? ❜ Her normally low voice decides to squeaks excitedly at the ANGRY and surprised questioning, those auburn tresses of hers outstretching and SLITHERING along the floor of Helga’s room with restlessness as the monstress bounces in place on her loud hooves.
There’s always such a rush of EXCITEMENT when Connie gets to meet a new ward of hers. So many new experiences! So many new HORMONES for her to thrive on. If the job itself wasn’t so rewarding, Connie would say that she was in it merely for the HIGH she received while doing it.
The monstress’ hair plants unto the floor, pushing Connie forward and upwards, VAULTING herself right in front of the poor girl with the force. Connie’s hands, sharp and clawed at the nail but incredibly soft in the palm, reached forward and cup Helga’s cheeks.
She’s just met you Helga and she LOVES you and your JUSTIFIABLE wariness!!
❛ -- Oh, angel cakes !! I’m here to guide you on the journey of your LIFE ! ❜
@shining-stxrs
miscellaneous connie headcanons pls
connie? so protective of her kids? yOU BET. no one is allowed to touch her kids. no one is allowed to LOOK at her kids even a little too long. they are HER kids and she will personally fuck you RIGHT up. this was a little confirmed from my furry valentine-- like when andrew and jay decided to pick on nick and connie lost it and started crying and begging maury to make them stop. she’s just got... a lot of feelings about the wards she takes on. and just, in general, a lot of feelings.
going along with her and her overemotional state, i’m convinced a lot of her kids end up being of the more sensitive or emotional variety? like, maury’s kids seem either repressed emotionally and a little violent (with matthew being somewhat of an exception to that). but with connie and nick and jessie, all three are very, very sensitive to things and have shown to be overemotional -- especially if you have watched the newest episode, i feel like this is backed up a lot.
connie loves and i mean LOOOOOVES tom jones. her personal favorite song is s.e.x bom.b.
connie doesn’t get along with a lot of the other monsters at work. but she kind of prefers that as it allows her to devote a lot more of her attention towards her kids.
the fact that missy has, like, regressed, and doesn’t need her actually hurt connie quite a bit. it makes her feel a bit like a failure in this regard. which is why when she almost lost jessie, connie took it even harder than she would have. not only did she lose ONE girl but she’s lost another -- and she cares for both of them so much. it is just hard for her to deal with.
i hope this works for now, nonnie !!
Connie...how does one seduce others?
--- Momentarily, Connie is taken aback by the suddenness of the inquiry. Especially an inquiry of THIS caliber. But it doesn’t take long for the monstress to hop right into line to give the BEST advice she can.
A purr filled hum rumbles lowly within her chest and she brings a clawed hand up to start absently stroking through her auburn strands. A low chuckle falls from her fanged and wide set mouth, her tongue poking out from between her sharp teeth childishly.
❛ – OH. Baby-cakes... Now you’re askin’ the reeeeeeal good questions. ❜ Constance leans forward, hooking her other hand at the other to lure them closer, as if she’s sharing a secret. And in a way, she kind of is. Except this is what she’s MADE for! These sorts of questions? Exactly in Connie’s lane!
❛ – You’ve gotta make yourself available, first. Okay? Let the peoples you’re trying to GET LUCKY WITH know that you’re definitively an option for getting lucky. ❜ The hand that is combing through her hair drops and then go to rest at her incredibly rounded hips. She rubs her palms coquettishly so along her curves, hands sliding upwards to even cup at her breasts, as if feeling up on her own form is giving her the proper inspiration.
YOU SHOULD BE TAKING NOTES RIGHT NOW, DEAR.
❛ And then you’ve gotta SHOW what’cha packing! Show what you can GIIIIIVE. If you’ve got some fluffed up pillows in that brassiere of yours? Flaunt ‘em. A booty that’s a beauty? FLASH IT. Wag that thing like a hypnotist’s watch, baby girl. ❜ Connie then drops her breasts with a mighty bounce and throws her hands up in the air. Her hair follows suit, standing up on end in her excitement.
-- HORMONES ARE BETTER THAN ANY DRUG SHE’S HAD -- and she’s had them all.
❛ And once you’ve got ‘em puuuuuulled in, my little guppie? Well, you gotta MAKE THE MOVE. Straddle ‘em like they’re the most HUNG horse you’ve ever seen and you’re desperate for the RIDE OF YOUR LIFE! ❜ Connie’s excitement is at full blaze. And it even results in her kicking a hoofed foot against a nearby table, knocking the legs out from under it with the force of her motion. She swings her head around, stepping excitedly from hoof to hoof as a girlish squeal squeaks from her. No matter how many times she has this conversation, it never grows old! She’s positively manic with glee and the unhinged giggles that spurt between her final words are more than telling of that.
❛ – Just don’t be AFRAID to take ADVANTAGE of your URGES, little sister! You’ve got to OWN your sexuality, sensuality and ALL those other ‘ality’s! But once you’ve got ‘em wear you want ‘em, and it’s clear they’re wanting to be where you want ‘em, TAKE THEM! Take them long and hard and never look back! ❜
