Constantine is a father?? #2
@magical-awesome-kid, @bianca-hooks123 thank you for the idea
Danny: "Okay, so let me get this straight—AGAIN. I’m one-third Maddie, one-third Jack, and one-third you, Constantine?”
Constantine: “Oi, it’s not that weird, is it? Magic’s a bloody wild thing.”
Danny: “No, what’s weird is you. My mom’s a ghost-hunting genius, my dad’s a walking disaster, and somehow you—magic’s equivalent of a cursed feral cat—got thrown into the DNA blender and hit purée?”
Constantine: “You’re welcome, by the way. The charm didn’t skip a generation, clearly.”
Danny: “Charm doesn’t help when ghosts are trying to eat me weekly, Dad Two.”
(Later, facing Vlad Plasmius...)
Danny: “You’re really hung up on this, huh? I mean, you’re not even dad two, and you’re acting like you just lost a custody battle.”
Vlad: “Excuse me?! Maddie and Jack are monogamous! This is lies—no, magical interference! Or—or some kind of—”
Danny: “Oh, this is rich. My mom’s polyamorous, dude. And she STILL wouldn’t sleep with you!”
Vlad: sputtering incoherently, attempting to find a rebuttal while visibly spiraling
(Flashback: Vlad digging through his files... The one labeled "John Constantine.")
Vlad: mutters “Constantine, Constantine… What threat level? Ah, here it is. Mostly complaints about his soul being divided into thirds… no, quarters? Is he playing magical Monopoly with his afterlife? Ridiculous!”
Pauses and looks at another note: “Wait, Maddie slept with this man?!”
Further reading shows a footnote: ‘Note: Constantine’s file also includes a restraining order issued by Hell.’
Vlad: face-palms in frustration. “How... How do I even process this information?!”
Danny: “You know, Vlad, I think my existence is proof that my parents are full of surprises. You’ve got an obsession with Maddie, and she didn’t even blink before dating younger magical trash. That’s gotta sting.”
Constantine (offhand): “’Younger’? Now that’s flattering.”
Danny: grinning “Don’t push your luck, Dad Two.”
