a lil gift for @consumptive-sphinx, as thanks for helping me with homework! here is some sad agnes/jude (agnes&jude? hm. interpretation.) stuff which i got real carried away on!
When Agnes sees Jude, her first thought is, she could love the Lightless Flame. Her second thought is, she could love me. Maybe it means something, that those thoughts are different. Maybe it means something that it’s the second thought that sparks hope in her chest.
She doesn’t know what it means, though, so she sits down across from a burnt-out woman and speaks softly to her of desolation and sacrifice while her family-friends-followers stand at her side, and for that first conversation Jude looks at her with something new in her eyes. Something different. Something that fans at the spark inside her, so different from her usual burning heat.
Nicholas Tregenza dies, and the next time Agnes sees Jude, the latest follower of the Lightless Flame watches her with the exact same faith and devotion as all the others.
The strange spark disappears, and Agnes tells herself she does not miss it.
Being bound to Gertrude Robinson hurts. It is not burning; it is being smothered to near-nothingness. It is being tied down and kept from her destiny. It is her flame almost going out, but not quite.
And it is the looks of sorrow and pity and disappointment in everyone’s eyes. It is Arthur reasoning that they need only wait. It is Diego leafing through books for answers instead of talking to her. It is being told that Jude—Jude who is brand new, Jude who Agnes spoke to and taught and converted—is her guardian now, and will watch over her as she sits, useless, in her small, empty flat.
Her lungs are too heavy and cold for her to protest. Even after she burns Eugene’s candles, fills herself with fire and pain and screams, she doesn’t have the breath for all the things she wants to say.
She lies on the floor, auburn hair spilling out behind her like the fire she can’t burn the world with, and stretches out her arm until her littlest finger brushes Jude’s foot.
“Do you love me?”
Jude kneels immediately, picking up her hand and gazing at her fervently. “Of course I do. Of course I do.”
“Mm. Do you love the Flame?”
Her burning gaze does not waver. “Of course, Agnes.”
“Mm.” There is another question on her tongue, about more and which one and if I fail and will you still, but the screamsmoke has escaped her lungs and she is feeling cold and heavy again. She closes her eyes and feels Jude’s fingers trail over her hand, hot and waxen and adoring.
The way Jack looks at her is different. He serves her black coffee and he thinks she is beautiful and strange and he stares at her as if he has been caught in a web. Agnes remembers her time in a web, and wonders a little if it is a good look, but it is not the way her followers look at her. It is not the way Jude looks at her, when she sits and talks about releasing her from Gertrude, when she sighs and gives her money and leaves her all alone with her black coffee.
It is different, and a week later he asks her on a date. And in her cold, cold lungs, the doom of hope sparks to life.
cat, shark, bat, and swan for the arthurian ask meme
🐱 favourite orkney
oh god i did this to myself but oh my god. gawain because im boring and not immune to evil mens tits but god was this a close race..... im so sorry (redacted)
🦈 thoughts on guinevere
talk about a ten point question.... tdhrgsfeshdtr okay so. if you read strictly in text shes. she kinda sucks and is abusive but like. we do male characters the generosity of ignoring icky things when that isnt integral to their character and i dont think theres anyreason to deny that to her (other than the obvious) so i do like her . i think she deserves to be the villain from a hs teen movie and maybe kill her husband xoxo
🦇 favourite magic item
hmmmm....... ring of luned! its an invisibility ring which is classic and its the only cool treasure of the 13 treasures of britain (dont at me the treasures are lame and they suck)
🦢 who is the best grail hero
gawain bc hes not catholic about it. its just a fetch quest for a cup. no religion head empty
How I feel about this character: I love her a lot! She’s really genuinely interesting; she’s strong and bookish and flawed and stubborn to a fault. She’s an impulsive headstrong hypocrite and she’s smart as a whip and she said back in season two that she was trying to get away from all this, to never see Jon again, and instead she ended up trying twice to save the world. She’s traumatized and she wants to be cold hard logic but she’s a terrified ball of wanting everyone to be happy and living in a world where that’s not an option and never has been. Also, she is the type of person who thinks Jon is funny and responds to being taken hostage with “this isn’t that bad actually, i’m just kind of hanging out and reading a lot”.
All the people I ship romantically with this character: Daisy, in the ‘they should mutual pine and then die together’ way.
My non-romantic OTP for this character: Daisy, in the ‘it’s important to remember that when Basira was covering up for Daisy all the way back in s2 she didn’t even like her much but they were both police and #acab’ way
My unpopular opinion about this character: She doesn’t veil, and definitely isn’t religious.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: does “one thing I wish that might happen in the future of canon” count? because I hope she kills Daisy in s5. and i hope it makes me cry.
my het ship: do I...........have one? I think maybe I don’t have one for Basira. like.... tim? he would never, he goes from ‘thinks she has a thing with jon’ to ‘on a suicide mission’ with no time in between. martin? absolutely not, they jon? they both
my fem/slash ship: daisira. obv.
my OTP: daisira!!!
my OT3: basira <3 daisy <> jon. does that count?
my cross over ship: ....huh, i hadn’t actually pondered this! I think she’s surprisingly easy to ship, actually; whether she likes someone or not often has less to do with them and way more to do with the situation they’re in. it’d have to be someone who saved her in a life-or-death situation, or who watched her back in a hostile universe for multiple years, or similar, i think, for it to be better than daisira for me, but it can be almost anyone.
my kink: I don’t think I really can imagine the appeal of Basira. She’s too like me, I guess, and I’m really not my own type.
a head cannon fact: I always imagined her as butch while listening. Dunno why, and I’m not sure how I feel about it in the context of her police brutality storyline, but it’s how I always visualized her. Frank just gives off really strong GNC vibes, I guess.
my gender bend: I don’t think I would ever genderbend Basira; there are lots of characters in TMA where gender isn’t relevant, but IMO her being a brown woman does in fact feel relevant to her character as a cop that’s part of a police brutality storyline, and as a white American I really don’t trust myself to handle that. ....actually after typing all this I’ve decided that I can get on board with Basira being nb or a trans man and never really getting a chance to explore that except for maybe for a month in s3, always having their gender as one of those back-burner “I’ll deal with that when I’m not in mortal danger” things.
The moon was a thin crescent fingernail among the great swathes of stars when Turgon walked out. Gondolin was sitting at the fountains.
“Do you sleep?” he asked, voice gentle even as it teetered between curious and amused.
It was the wrong thing to say; she looked down and away, unexpectedly vulnerable. “Yes,” she said. “I have–dreams. I always wake up screaming. I–don’t like sleeping.”
Turgon looked away, grateful that his skin was dark enough to hide his flush. “I’m sorry for asking.”
She grabbed his arm, then. “No. Wait. Don’t be sorry. I’m glad you asked.”
“Oh.” Turgon looked back at her (her tan-brown skin, her dark eyes sparkling with stars, her earnest expression—how had he built something so beautiful when he himself was not, had never been—), eyebrows creasing. “Why?”
“Because nobody else has asked before,” she said, “and it felt like someone should know.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” Her legs kicked in the air. “You’re in the dreams.”
His head seemed to move unnaturally quickly, turning round-eyed to look at her. “I am?”
“Yes. You’re–so beautiful, in them. You glow so bright. Maybe you are the light, it’s hard to tell–you–you’re up high, or you’re holding me, and I’m staring at you, and you’re shining with all the light of Valinor. It’s the most incredible thing. And then I feel the fire.”
send me a 👀 and i’ll post a snippet of art/writing that i never got around to finishing this year (r.i.p)
hi I heard you had zip files of vexillology manuals, where can I find those and/or can they be emailed to me I want to read them very much thank you for your time and good takes about flags
Oh, I said that for comedy potential! I’m really sorry!
Vexillology/vexillography text books are so grossly specialized that they’re basically impossible to find in digital format. And also impossible to afford in physical format. There’s like a $12 one on amazon, but it’s fully just a compilation that condenses all of the flag design advice from r/vexillology, so I haven’t bought it.
I do have a digital copy of this one charming children’s history book about flags, though.
One day I’m going to have enough disposable income to buy this fucking sociology text book about flags, and y’all better look out, because the hot second that I do, oh man, I’m going to get even more obnoxious about flag shit.
consumptive-sphinx replied to your post “No one supports real life incest or child rape, at most there's like 6...”
.....how do so many people not realize that the point of this post isn't 'child rapists don't exist' but 'people on tumblr who claim to be """clovergender""" are trolls'
Because they feel a lot more important if they think there are child rapists everywhere and that they alone are the sole bastion protecting juvenile anuses and hymens. Plus it gives them a guilt-free excuse to be mean to people, and a universal “reason” for all their anxiety. I’d be tempted, if it actually made any sense whatsoever, or if I weren’t too kinky, or didn’t have morals.
I would say "do what I do and sit on the other side of the room from him in church so you won't be any more distracted than you are already and also make excuses to talk to him about totally innocuous things after services" but, unfortunately, physical distance
Also I don’t go to services and the services I don’t go to are Jewish.
