A girl is a god, she creates endlessly, the world is a playground for which to find new things and marvel at them, to tie ribbons around trees and lay in graveyards, watching dappled light on grass.
Before that she was a writhing earthworm, a butterfly with five legs, sparks of fire in humid night air that confused themselves for blessed fireflies. She was her own heart and the waves that moved from it, up into her throat, down into her belly.
Inside there is no girl. There is no god. There is only winter, spring, summer, autumn. There is only earth and sky. There is no life or death, only trees, tall grass, mountains. Are the trees dead or alive? Does it matter? if they take my breath away, fill my eyes with life?
How do you say no to someone you live with? How do you say no to someone who will fill to the brim with emotion? How do you say no when you think you should say yes? How do you say no when you put yourself there? How do you say no when you can’t get home?
There was freedom before reality. When death was just grass, weeds, and wildflowers, life just another growth spurt, an inch on the kitchen door. When a body was just a jar for the firefly of your soul. There were girls in the graveyard to keep the dead innocent. When everything was just a feeling. Feeling. Being.