Discover Top Posts Tagged with #conuretrash

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promo!!!!!! follow @conuretrash

#commit #bro #follow this person #conuretrash #im trash

Hey so jw how DA ended for u and who you ended up with? Like did u marry King Alistair or did he refute you for kids? I'm curious abt what ending u got (when I played, Alistair didn't want me so I replayed and ran off with Zevran) sorry if u already posted abt this and I missed it :3<3

OKAY SO what happened was that I was always planning to put Anora on the throne because she seems waaaaaay more qualified than any candidate, including my bf, so I told Alistair that I was going to back her and he was like “THANK THE MAKER TBH.” Also I was not even aware that you could make him want the job or make him more cynical about the world so I basically spent the entire game sheltering him from disappointment and bitterness to maintain Maximum Fluff in his personality, which frankly is what I would have done even if I was aware of other options.

So I make Anora queen, except the game was clearly expecting me to have made Alistair the king? Or my game glitched or something, because when I meet up with Alistair to discuss Morrigan’s offer, he immediately mentions something about how it is stressful to be king, how people come to him with their problems, et cetera, which I decided to explain away to myself as Warden and Alistair engaged in a very in depth role-playing session that was supposed to end in fake throne sex (with that one spare chair in the corner serving as the throne and both of them trying not to giggle through the “your highness” bits) but instead they have to have a bummer of a conversation about a demon baby. Also I told him upfront about the demon baby.

So I tell him he ought to do it and so he does so both of us survive the final battle, and Anora gives her dramatic speech at the end and then asks of me what I would ask of her. I say that the land remember the sacrifices of the Wardens. She says, yes, and we’ll build a statue to Alistair and the other Wardens who died for peace. And meanwhile, literally right the fuck behind her, is Alistair. So presumably their relationship is something like–

Anora: Sometimes I can still hear the late royal bastard speaking to me.

Alistair: Stop telling people I’m dead.

So the speech is over and all my friends like me a lot and me and Alistair make a date to go have sex in a hot second once the festivities are over. Leliana is going back to fake France, Zev is chilling with the Grey Wardens, and my dog is probably peeing on something important.

#dragon age updates #conuretrash #I would never make him king #I mean I'm sure that's a good ending too but noooooooo

I just love Alistair so much, y'know? And sten. And oghren, and my dog and everyone. How's it going for ya? What mission in the dwarf place are ya on? (I can't spell ozmannder? excuse me pls)

I love Alistair, I respect him, and further more I want him to grow and be happy. Sten continues to not understand me, but we’re cool about it now. He had a heart to heart with my dog Fluffernutter and I respect that and I love that. I HAVE OGHREN NOW. WHAT AN ASSHOLE. I LOVE TALKING TO HIM. I was his wingman and it was awesome.

And I actually finished dwarf place! (I think you nailed the spelling of ozymandias just right.) I barreled through it with the fury of a berserker and the desperation of a someone who only has two more days with a laptop before she disappears into the woods. Now I am journeying amongst the Dalish, I helped a rhyming tree get his acorn back, then I killed a bunch of other trees, and now I’m trying to convince the werewolves I just want to talk as I slaughter literally every werewolf

#dragon age updates #there's no way I can finish this game in time #but a girl can dream #conuretrash

Bro how's dragon age going?

buddy how ISN’T IT GOING, Sten still disapproves of me all the time and my dog won’t stop peeing every time I talk to him

At the moment I am in Orzammar trying to figure out which politician I should support when in truth I’m like “this entire system is a corrupt one propped up on the scapegoating of the casteless and the fear that if you step out of line you’ll become one of them, NO KING NO QUEEN NO LORD NO MASTER IT’S TIME FOR A SOCIAL REVOLUTION, TO ME MY CASTELESS BRETHEN, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR CHAINS”

#dragon age updates #DWARF SOCIETY IS HORRIBLE #WHERE'S MY DWARF DISCOURSE AT #conuretrash