#copyright me

[jaimeaster]

Phineas: So if Perry is Dr D’s surrogate brother. Does this make Vanessa our cousin?

Ferb: god I hope not.

[plasticlacex]

I’m just art dumping atm❤️‍🩹

This is a piece I did for an art study, it’s a cover of a zine that i wrote on anti sexism in media- I got an A+‼️‼️

[hitchell-mope]

Hypothetical titles for season 30 of 88.

The kings of New York. Season premiere. Part one. Former commissioner Jones Moriarty Wilmington is sworn in as the newest mayor of New York City, former captain of the 88th precinct Thornton Birch assumes the office of commissioner and newly minted captain of the 88th precinct Sidney Sullivan interviews prospective detectives.

The Queen of New York. Season premiere. Part two. Findlay enjoys her rank up as the wife of a police captain and daughter of the mayor. Meanwhile Sidney hires a Detective from the recently disbanded narcotics division and his wife. First appearances of Staz Nair and Sarah Bolger as Detectives Tony and Maggie Chopra.

Poodles and husky’s. A secret about the Chopra’s is revealed during the harvest moon when Maggie’s cousin drops by the precinct along an old friend of the Five Families. Guest starring Joe Alwyn as Daniel Kavanaugh and Ty Tennant as Edmond Corman.

Oversight. Sidney had to contend with the revelations about the Chopra’s while Findlay organises them a suite as the Van Buren location of the Mulligan Institute.

The pitiful children. The team takes a case involving a high school chess club that may or may not have robbed bank to get in good with the popular kids.

Stitched up. In the 700th Episode. Sidney’s highest profile case yet as captain happens when a man is found murdered and sewn back together on the last leg of the muppets 93rd anniversary concert tour. Guest starring the muppets as themselves.

Family is forever. It’s Zoey Anne Mulligan’s turn to call Arlene out when the woman’s complaining gets too much for even her go with the flow disposition.

Changing your tune. In an effort to let her uncle and cousins know she’s part of the team, Arlene arranged for what is hopefully one last meeting with Heidi Kauffman. Guest starring Jennifer Anniston and Jeremy Shada.

The lying bitch in the supply closet. The dark side of policing once again rests its ugly headed when it appears that Senator Kauffman has been abducted.

Parables. A drunk Barnaby accidentally ends up at church instead of his hookups apartment. Feature the return of Hayden Christensen as Reverend Logan Hearst.

The policeman’s ball. Part one. Thornton had his work cut out for him hosting his first ever policeman’s ball and trying to investigate a spate werewolf disappearances.

The policeman’s ball. Part two. The party is in full swing. But the Chopra’s are missing.

Start the clock. The race is on to find the Chopra’s. But it’s more difficult than it should be thanks to an extraordinarily unhelpful and anti werewolf public.

The smoking tooth. It’s almost time for the last full moon of the year. And Findlay has a bad idea to end every single last one of her previous bad ideas.

Blood sports. Midseason finale. Part one. Licked in the basement of a long ousted family, the Chopra’s and Findlay plan their escape. Guest starring Matt Barr as Kyle Blackburn and Andie MacDowell as his mother Rachel Blackburn.

Wolfsbane. Midseason premiere. Part two. Hunted by the Blackburn’s. The Chopra’s and Findlay desperately try to survive Christmas Eve night. Meanwhile the team tirelessly searches for them. Guest starring Mara Wilson as Allison Daylesford, Justin Johnson Cortez as Eli Daylesford and Zelda Williams as Inez Blackburn.

Desperately seeking Schubert. In this bottle episode. Theo is the key to finding a missing person. Whether he will choose to give up the information and break the promise he made is another matter entirely. Guest starring Tracee Ellis Ross as Dj Whitley, Loretta Divine as her bigoted mother Grace Whitley and the voice of Brian Michael Smith as Albert Whitley.

Win a date. Barnaby auctions off his ticket for a date with Findlay’s favourite celebrity. Guest starring Chris Pratt as Emerson Davenport and Jameson Oarlock.

Duty free. The team is called to JBK airport where a frequent flyer is causing a fuss in the stores. Guest starring Maribeth Monroe as Mrs Crandall

Incompatible. Drummond and Odessa’s plan for a baby get derailed by their physiologies.

Is all fair in love and war? Barnaby and Theo try to pick up the same woman.

Trip a little light fantastic. A blackout in Fifth Avenue forces the council to negotiate with an old enemy. Guest starring Matt Smith as The Bogeyman.

The aunty social quadrille. Justine is in tenterhooks waiting for her British republican aunts to visit from Chelsea. Guest starring Alex Kingston and Eve Best as Mrs and Mrs Demeter and Nina Clarkson.

Open mouth insert foot. Arlene’s well meaning attempts to integrate herself into Fifth Avenue life runs afoul of the worst talk shows in existence.

Murder they vlogged. The team investigate an influencer couple that always seem to be on the scene where a brutal, grisly murder has occurred.

My mother told me. After decades of refusing to change. Arlene finally has an appointment with Deucalion to get to the bottom of her problems with her mother and the rich.

The one where nothing much happens. In this Seinfeldian parody of Friends. Drummond lounges around his apartment all day wondering what to do with his life.

The ancient ancestor. On Cinco De Mayo. Jonah accidentally brings forth one of Jones’s relatives who comes with a dire warning that everybody needs to know. Guest starring Richard Armitage as Horatio Wilmington.

Back to the start. Season finale. Part one. Sidney’s team is alerted to a grave robbing case that mimics a similar one from thirty years ago.

Never eat shredded wheat. As the summer solstice draws nearer. The council tries in vain to prevent the Ozian Rising. First appearances of Elizabeth Mitchell as Mother Glinda, Rose McIver as Eula, Georgina Haig as Tattypoo and Elizabeth Lail as Griselda Windward the resurrected Witches of Oz.

[catgirl-catboy]

When some of you ship characters, you mean it in a "I want to give a best man speech at their wedding" kinda sense. When I ship characters, I do it in a "I want to lock those bastards in a closet to see what happens" kinda sense.

[laserdeadpool]

I feel like I’m living in a FEVER DREAM

Otp <3

[juniper-tree]

for a little while now I’ve been working on a new thing, a series of original historical western romances that skew a little dark (in the sense that they’re somewhat violent and and the heroes are Not Nice Except To Their Loved Ones). here’s a chunk of the first. hoping to put it out this year!

Northeast Nevada 

1876

It was a losing hand, again. Seemed like it always was. 

Will Sawyer dropped his cards on the splintered table. He slid them away, hoping to get some distance between himself and bad luck. 

An old prospector, whose beard looked to be half his weight and stunk like a dying goat, grinned with the few teeth he had left and raked in his winnings. The other men round the table groaned, and leaned back in their rickety chairs. 

One of them, in a muddy green derby hat and yellow frock coat, cracked his knuckles. “You sure got us hard-pushed,” he said, with a smile as false as an old judge’s teeth.

It was the fourth round the old man won that night. Wasn’t cheating—Will had a quick eye for slick fingers and cards in sleeves—but his streak wore on Will’s nerves. 

Anger buzzed low in his head like a wasp’s nest. Curse it all. The night he’d wasted, nothing to show for it. The rot of this backwater saloon, with no girls but a painted one on the wall behind the bar. The wheezing laugh of the prospector, laughing at Will, and the rest of the losers around the whiskey-soaked table.

His fingers edged the hem of his denim jacket. It wouldn’t take two shakes to lift his revolver from its holster, and fire off a round or three into the laughing man’s chest. And one to blow the kerosene lamp, so he could run out in the dark. He’d done it before. 

But he watched prospector stuff the loose coins and greenbacks into his satchel, a ragged, patched thing that looked as old as the man himself. His hands shook as he lowered the money into a worn pocket.

Hell. Will sighed and let his gunhand fall on the table. He didn’t really have any mind to hurt him, much less a heart to. Let the old man win it all. Will, he was young. He had time enough to get back his luck, and money, and then some. 

Besides, Mal told him to keep his head down, if he could. Stay out of sight and trouble. There was some doubt in the way Mal had said it that picked at Will. He’d never been caught once, had he? Not since he joined up with Mal and his boys. And Mal knew that. But he’d do his goddamn best, like always, to prove he could. 

A wanted man, he had to know when to toss his cards in the muck, and when to bet it all. 

Will sat back, scratched the rough, patchy beard he’d let grow over the past couple of weeks, and stared at the painting over the bar. 

A nude woman lay on a softly-sketched patch of green grass, dotted with pink and white flowers. Her hands combed through her long, red-gold hair, and her rosy lips were parted, like an invitation. She looked out from the painting right at you, as though she could see you. As though she wanted you.

Her skin was white and smooth as sweet cream. No mud splatters or bug bites, like any real naked girl down in the dirt might show. 

But Will liked to imagine there was a real girl like that, somewhere. A girl so fine and heavenly that the earth wouldn’t soil her. That his own crimes and sins, and there were plenty of them, could never stain her.

Trouble was, a girl like that would never touch Will. Not for anything.

“Fellers,” the prospector said, clapping his hands. “You done gave me a pretty enough evenin’. I’m fixing to buy you gents a swallow of whiskey afore we play one more. What you say?” 

“Nothin’ but rotgut in them bottles,” the green hat grumbled.

“That’ll be just fine. We don’t hardly deserve better.” Will said it harsher than it needed, maybe. Something about the man sure itched at him. Couldn’t say what.

Green Hat gave him that smile. Crooked as a snake. “What did you say your name was, son?”

Will snorted. “I didn’t. Son.” 

While the prospector shuffled to the bar, his satchel held tight in his shaky grip, the saloon’s swinging doors creaked open.  

Will didn’t look up to spot the arrival. Part of laying low meant keeping your eyes down, most of the time, until you’d settled yourself about all the men around. You waited, because if some dust-dragger walked in looking for you and only you, he’d holler about it right off. 

‘Course, some men were more cold-blooded, and calculating. Those you had to look in the eye, and take your chance. 

This time, Will split the odds. He scratched his forehead along the band of his hat, and tipped the brim up just a touch to clear a line of sight, from the corner of his eye.

The man at the door wore tufted red mutton chops on his cheeks, and a hard look. He searched through the saloon and its pitiful attendance with one turn of his head, until he found his target at the game table. He gave a small nod. 

On the other side of Will, Green Hat gave a nod right back. Then he tapped the table—twice. Right next to Will’s abandoned hand of cards. 

This low-down son of a bitch. He’d been sitting beside Will all night, waiting. Watching him lose, matching up Will’s face to whatever wanted notice he’d seen. Stalling, until Red Chops showed up to help make the bounty. 

Will shook his head, his eyes on the edge of the table. The man didn’t even give him the respect of calling him out to his face. Maybe it was smart. That would have been asking to be shot. Because if Green Hat knew Will’s face, then he ought to have known his reputation. 

So he wasn’t about to dignify this attempt to buffalo him. What he would do is hit the road, before the scene got hot. Like Mal wanted.

He’d not seen the particular poster these two must have, with his own grainy, not-half-pretty-enough likeness staring back at him, but he knew what it read. 

$1000 REWARD for the capture of WILLIAM AVERY SAWYER. Train robbery, rustling, and menace. Age 22, hair black, 6 feet in height, scarred nose.

He is associated with the notorious outlaw MALCOLM O’MALLEY and his GANG OF THIEVES. 

These men are desperate and dangerous. 

[depplosion]

Ruth deWitt Bukater: So, this is the ship they say is unsinkable...

Cal: It is unsinkable; God himself could not sink this ship!

God: .........

[bluntshavingrazor]

I had a dream a few nights ago where I was watching an anime show in the same sort of vein as the original Digimon Adventure, with a person from a vaguely Japanese setting going to a strange fantasy world full of various easily marketable creatures. Only instead of the protagonist being a young child, they were an alcoholic college student in his early-20s.

Anyway, here's a crude depiction of his animal buddy, Sheepron.

I am not accepting criticism at this time.