Sep 2, 2022
I updated!!
Finally.
Check it out!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
It would honestly mean so much to me, if you're reading to let me know what you think! <3
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I updated!!
Finally.
Check it out!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
It would honestly mean so much to me, if you're reading to let me know what you think! <3
if anyone still follows me for divergent fanfiction...
I just posted a new one.
It’s a highschool AU that is going to be full of fluffy cute moments and lots of angst.
If you like it, I’d appreciate a review :)
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13823558/1/The-Way-I-Loved-You
Thanks in advance!
Fanfiction update if you follow me here.
I'm still working on The Way I Loved You.
I've been struggling a bit with a work-life balance but I just thought I'd put it out there that there should be an update really soon...
like, seriously soon.
I promise!!
And if you aren't reading my divergent highschool AU fanfiction, you should be!!
Come join the fun :)
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
I doubt anyone still cares but...
I had a drabble idea today and I don’t feel like posting it on FF.net. So I thought I’d put it here and see if anyone cares I guess. I kind of lost all motivation to write for a few years and this just kind of came to me today. It’s a drabble based on my old Divergent fanfictions. It’s Cara/Tobias with mentions of his relationship with Tris. It was inspired by Taylor Swift’s “Right where you left me.” If you read this, hope you like it.
Right where you left him
Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion?/ Break ups happen every day you don’t have to lose it/She’s still twenty-three/inside her fantasy/ how it was supposed to be…
“Your lips are cold.” I say trying desperately not to let my teeth chatter.
We’re sitting in Four’s truck in front of his apartment building, both wearing a winter coat, hat and in my case, gloves and I’m still freezing.
It makes sense.
It’s the middle of winter in Chicago but this is often where Four and I’s dates end up.
He leans back in his seat and sighs.
“I’m sorry…” He says softly. “This isn’t very romantic is it?”
I wrinkle my nose.
“…Sorry…” I say, and I genuinely sound it. “I just…don’t really like making out if I can’t feel all of my toes and fingers.” I tease.
He’s quiet for a moment, glancing out the window, he blows out a breath and I see it hang in the air for a moment.
“We could always go inside, you know.” I suggest carefully. “…I promise that I’m not going to ask to move in.” I try to sound teasing, but it comes out more concerned.
Four has so many walls up that I’m constantly trying to tear down.
This is the one that I’ve been hitting a lot lately.
The one where Four sees me being invited into his personal space as some sort of implication.
He looks at me for a moment, and then shakes his head slowly before leaning back into kiss me.
I let it go on for a moment and then press a hand to his chest to stop him.
He lets out a little groan, pressing his forehead to mine for a moment.
“Four…” I start and then stop, sighing.
“I know that sigh…” he says, concern lacing his tone. “You’re about to say something I’m not going to like very much, aren’t you?”
I look up at him for a moment.
Sometimes his pain is so tangible that I feel like it’s a part of me too.
Maybe that’s because he is a part of me, has been since we started this.
But that doesn’t matter.
He’s frozen.
He’s frozen in time.
He’s been frozen for six years.
He’s just been this…ghost of a person for so long.
I wish I could have the opportunity to see him at his fullest. His brightest. But I don’t think anyone will ever have that privilege again.
That privilege belonged to Tris Prior and Tris alone.
But damn, do I wish he’d share it with the rest of us.
“Are you…embarrassed of me or something?” I say softly.
“What?” His reaction is utter bewilderment and that brings me a little bit of comfort.
“I just feel like…maybe this is not really what you want. Maybe you just like making out with me.”
He stared at me for a moment, and then his tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip as he turns again to look out the window again.
“Do you want me to take you home?”
The words sting more than I imagined.
Does he want me to go home?
No.
I know him better than that.
He just wants to avoid the conversation.
I shake my head a little.
“No. Not really. I just want you to talk to me.”
We sit there in freezing cold silence for almost ten minutes before he speaks again.
“This is hard for me.” He finally says, and I jump because I wasn’t expecting his voice.
“I know that.” I say softly. “Really, I do.” I chew on my bottom lip for a moment.
“But you can’t live like this forever.”
I’m approaching a danger zone.
I’m not permitted to talk about this.
Not for this long.
Not in this capacity.
I can practically feel him shutting down already.
“Don’t disappear on me. Stay with me in this moment. In this conversation. Please.”
“What do you want me to say, Cara? I know—” He cuts himself off, running a hand through his hair. It’s longer now than I’d have ever seen it.
He could use a haircut.
“You know what?” I press.
“I know that I’m not…all there. All the time. I know that. But I’m trying, Cara. I honestly am.” He insists.
“Four…” I say as soft as I can manage. “Inviting me in doesn’t mean that you didn’t love her. It doesn’t diminish anything you had with her at all.”
He doesn’t say anything for a long beat and then,
“It doesn’t?” His voice sounds so small like a scared child.
I shake my head slowly.
“No. No at all.” I say, reaching out taking his hand.
His fingers are cold, and I instinctively try to warm them with my own.
He squeezes my hand and just when I think he isn’t going to say anything else about the conversation, he speaks.
“If I…If I invite you in that makes it real.” He says in a quiet voice, eyes on our still touching fingers.
“What?” I say softly, urging him on as gently as I can manage.
“This. Us. It makes it real, Cara. And this is the first real relationship that I’ve attempted since—”
“Do you want it to be real?” I cut him off abruptly.
“Cara…”
“Do you?”
He lets out a long sigh and squeezes my hand tightly.
“Honestly? I’m terrified but yes.”
I nod slowly.
“Then you have to stop being frozen in time. You have to stop letting a dead girl, albeit a beautiful, inspiring and wonderful, but still dead girl dictate your life.”
He stares at me and I feel so frustrated I could scream.
“Four, let me in. Please.”
He watches me for a moment and then he reaches out, tapping my nose with his forefinger. “Your nose is bright red.” He says.
“I’m freezing.” I reply.
“Cara?”
“Yes?”
“Do you want to come in?”
I can’t keep the smile off of my face. It’s there without my brain ever commanding it to be. It’s a natural response to his words.
He’s letting me in.
This is real.
Finally.
“Absolutely…” I breathe.
He nods slowly and then before I can even process what’s happening, he’s out of the car, meeting me on the passenger side. He pulls open the door and holds out his hand, waiting for me to take it.
I gently place my hand in his and he leads me up the walkway to his apartment building.
Can you give me links to all of your fanfictions?
Absolutely!!!
Here are my Divergent exclusive ones:
Resurrection
Resurrection: The End
Selfless Choices
You can also check out my fanfiction.net page at large but I must warn you, I started writing fanfiction VERY young and not all of it’s good or completely finished. Also, I wrote for a lot of different fandoms.
Hope you enjoy! And if you read any of them, don’t hesitate to let me know what you think!
Does this mean a Tobias/Nita drabble? I heart Tobias/Cara post Allegiant too. I miss your drabbles about their relationship. I'd love for another. A "special" moment in their blooming relationship. You right Cara understanding Tobias so well. Veronica started that in Allegiant. Drabble please oh please!
Okay, you inspired me to write a Tobias/Nita drabble and I had an idea today for a Cara/Four one so, the chances are good you’ll get one of those too! Hope you like this one!
This takes place somewhere in the middle of Allegiant. The timeline is vague because I can’t exactly pin down where it would fit best.
Let me know what you think!
Tobias
I sit on the edge of my own bed, my eyes glued to Tris’ bed across the room.
I’ve been doing the same thing for almost twenty minutes now, like maybe if I stare at it long enough, she’ll appear there. She’ll smile at me and make all of the uncertainty I feel disappear.
I let out a sigh and then fall back against the bed, my head making the mattress springs creak.
“Are you always like this or just on days you get into a fight with your girlfriend?”
I sit up quickly at the sound of the voice.
It’s dripping with sarcasm so even before I sit up I know it belongs to Nita.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, eyebrows raised.
She shrugs, moving between the beds, her eyes searching each one for something before finally landing on me.
“I wanted to show you something but you don’t really seem up to it.”
I frown a little bit and she laughs.
“You’re really too easy to tease.”
I roll my eyes but don’t bother responding.
She moves towards me, sitting next to me on the edge of the bed.
“Okay, you might as well tell me what’s bothering you. I do have something to show you and it’s going to take awhile. I’d rather not hang out with someone that looks like the world just collapsed in on him.”
I let out frustrated sigh, rolling my eyes.
“I don’t look like that.”
“You do. Start talking.” She says crossing her arms over her chest.
She’s so demanding for someone who barely knows me.
Then again, she’d had the privilege of getting to know me through computers and monitors before I even had the chance to learn her name.
I look at her for a moment and then let out a long sigh.
“You’re right.” I finally say.
“About what?”
“I do only look like this on days I get into fights with my girlfriend.”
A grin pulls the corners of her lips upward as she lets out a tiny laugh.
“What’s she mad about this time?”
“That’s just it. I don’t think she’s mad, it’s more just like….” I let out a groan. “…like she doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
“Well, it had to stem from somewhere. What’s her issue?”
I look up at her for a second, debating whether or not I should tell her about her part in the fight.
Eventually, I decide there’s no real harm in it.
“You.”
She stares at me, blinking.
“Me?” she says incredulously.
I nod.
“What did I ever do to her?”
I let out a small laugh.
“Apparently seduce me into the dark side.”
Nita raises her eyebrows at me and lets out a scoff.
“Seduce you? That’s a bit of a stretch, don’t you think?”
Her words sting a little bit…even though they shouldn’t.
“Why is that a stretch?”
She stands up, moving in front of me, arms crossed over her chest.
“Okay, don’t get me wrong, you’re attractive and whatever but you’re not my type.”
“I’m a type?”
She laughs.
“Yeah. Everyone’s a type.”
“What’s mine?”
She blows out a breath.
“You know…you’re all…” She wrinkles her nose a little bit.
“Damaged. Daddy issues and mommy issues to boot.”
I let out a groan, putting my face in my hands.
“You know, it’s getting creepier and creepier that all you people seem to do here is watch our lives on camera and then try and decide whether our genes are worthy or not.”
“It is creepy.” She says with a little nod. “Which is why I need your help, Tobias. You can tell your girl I have no interest in you, because I don’t…”
She pauses for a moment, tilting her head.
“Even if I did, I know better.”
“What do you mean?”
“I know better than to mess with a guy who has a girl. I also know better than to mess with the guy who’s girl is dauntless.”
“You don’t think you could take her?” I say with a grin.
“Maybe.” She shrugs. “I’m not really willing to test the theory though.”
I let out a laugh and then nod slowly.
“Thank you.” I say softly.
“For what?”
“For making me feel a little less like the world is caving in on me.”
She smiles a bit.
“Well, you’re welcome. Now, will you come with me?”
I nod, standing up from the bed.
“Lead the way.”
She starts walking towards the doorway and I follow her, but she stops a few paces from the door.
She turns around slowly to face me, a strange expression on her face.
“I wouldn’t worry.”
“What?”
“About your girl. Tris. I wouldn’t worry.”
“Why?”
“Because she’d be…absolutely crazy to lose a guy like you.”
She looks down at her shoes for a moment.
“Nita—“
She looks up sharply when I say her name and shakes her head.
“No. Don’t.” She says quickly, cutting me off.
“I meant what I said. I know better. I just…I had to say it out loud. Just once.”
She smiles a little bit and then continues to move towards the doorway.
After a moment or two, I follow her.
fourtris & "baby"
Send me a ship/character(s) and a one word prompt and I will write a 5 sentence fic about it.
Tris
“Okay…” Tobias says, bouncing our one-month-old, wailing, daughter in his arms, moving around the nursery.
“What’ll take it to get the tears to stop? Do you want to hear about the first time I saw your mother?”
I lean against the door frame and listen.
“She was falling into a net…” He starts with a smile, “…and she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.”
It’s 2:30 AM and I’m...
up, plotting and thinking and plotting and thinking....
about the Selfless Choices sequel.
COMING SOON