Happy Holidays to everyone! Huge shout out to @portal-secret-santa as always for being EXTREMELY patient with me as I fail to get my prompts again this year (We figured out WHY and shouldn't have problems anymore, but WOW it took a bit to figure it out.)
Anyways. My person is @radioproto ! A fellow Wheatley enjoyer! Sorry if this is too non specific, I looked through the blog but still had NO idea what to do aside from just an X Reader. I mean, I did include Fact just so you technically had both in one present...? So hopefully a present for you and the rest of the fellow Wheat kissers is good enough!
Also, here's an AO3 version!
Mistletoe Mayhap (Wheatley X GN!Reader)
Note: Does NOT include "Y/N" or talking for Reader, with minimal responses or descriptions for the sake of immersion.
Word Count: 1,213
“Sorry- You want to hang up a MISSILE?” Wheatley gawked. Well, as much as a core could, anyways. Fact sighed, optics pinching shut with a small clink of metal.
“MistleTOE, Wheatley. The plant?” He opened the lower plate, barely looking up to meet the blue optic of the fellow core.
“Plant? Mate, we have an entire tree! Threw lights and small little trinkets all over its branches, PLUS that star thing on top. Spacey was EXTREMELY excited on that one. WOULD NOT stop talking about it so I'm FAIRLY certain-” Wheatley paused when he heard one of the claws the cores were using to decorate picking up something, and Fact held up a plant book of some kind, page turned to a small bushel of plants. Two words stood out in the center of the page, indicating what the said plants were. "Holly" and "Mistletoe."
“These.” Fact spoke up.
“Ah.” Wheatley squinted, trying to stretch his optic slightly to see. He read the description of Mistletoe. “OK… "Scientifically called" blah blah blah… "More commonly called Mistletoe… Poisonous plant when consumed," that's grim for… "A holiday staple?" Really? "Traditionally hung up from the ceiling, and when two people are under it…"” Wheatley suddenly wheeled back on his railing, immediately feeling like his processor was heating up, and his fans whirred to life to cool him down.
“I figured you would like an excuse.” Fact set the book back and closed it as he just rolled his eye.
“An excuse for wot?”
“Kissing a certain test subject. You know who.” Fact looked over at Wheatley as he said that. The fans kicked up another notch. “I figured that if you weren't going to say something, out of whatever fears you have, that it would give you an excuse if they didn't reciprocate. Play it off as just a traditional thing and cut your losses.”
“Wh- Hey! Do you SERIOUSLY think they're going to reject me?!” Wheatley defended. Then thought about it a moment longer, handles faltering as he clarified. “...Would they actually, you think?”
“I never said that.” Fact glanced over as he grabbed a plant, assumedly the one in question, and handed it over to Wheatley. Doing so in an underhanded motion just so he didn't hold it above him and Wheatley. “I'm entirely neutral to whether or not you two work out, I was merely offering a way for you to try to find out if they DO like you, that gives you an easy out if they DON'T.”
“...Huh.” Was all Wheatley could muster. He looked at the plant… Then slid off on his railing to find somewhere to hang it.
It wasn't a big party. It was only two other cores, the two testing robots, GLaDOS, the companion cube as a VIP, and both Fact and Wheatley. Oh, but mostly some turrets facing away from the door and "talking" amongst themselves, and someone thankfully had the foresight to mark out where they'd not only be put, but where their eyesight ended. That was for the last guest.
A certain test subject that had to equally watch their steps around the turrets, much like P-Body and Atlas, who were currently dancing to the holiday tunes newly coded into the radio, curtsy of GLaDOS, much like the fruitcake on the table. It was just a fake decoration since nobody could eat, but it was decoration for any other human Christmas party too, so it was fine.
Wheatley watched as they entered from his corner of the room. It was one end of the table that had the fake fruitcake, that wasn't near any of the turrets, GLaDOS was on the other end, and most importantly, had the mistletoe hanging on the ceiling above him. He just flexed his handle up and down as he nervously waited for them. Mercifully, it didn't take long for them to walk over to talk to him.
“Oh-Oh! Ello! Happy holidays, luv.” Wheatley's smile was obvious through his voice as he spoke. They regarded him with a grin and nod. “So uh, this might take you for a shock, you'll wanna hear this. Me and Fact over there, yeah? Pink optic guy? Decorated this whole space! By ourselves. Managed to set everything up! Well uh, not the fruitcake though. SHE did that one, not sure why though THAT'S decoration...” The test subject still looked around the room and did some small claps for him. “Hm-? Oh! Thank you! Glad you seem to like it then. That 's all… Accurate and things. Being honest, cards on the table, Fact definitely manages to gather up how to decorate this place properly like humans very well. Nicely done, all in a good day's work on his part. And-And myself of course. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I DO want to give myself SOME credit, y'know?”
Then they glanced up, spotting the plant. Here it goes…
“What's uh- What's that you spot?” Wheatley looked up, feigning surprise as best he could. “Ooooohhh… Look at that! That's that mistletoe thing, yeah? Isn't that rather-”
“...Wheatley, that's Holly.” Fact piped up, rolling over to them.
“Wot?” Wheatley turned to him.
“Holly has the pointed leaves and red berries. MISTLETOE has smooth leaves and white berries.”
“...Ah. I- hm. I seem to have gotten my plants mixed up.” He glanced over at the tester muffling a laugh. “Not! Y'know ENTIRELY my fault. I read up on this FAIRLY well, and in everything I saw they seemed PRET-TY sure the thing was spiky and-and RED. Very BRIGHT shade of red, might I add.”
“Fact: That is a bold face lie-”
“And here's a fact: YOU handed that plant to me.” He growled out.
“I thought the ONE BOOK I showed you said it was Holly.”
“There were TWO ENTRIES in the middle! How was I supposed to know which one was what?!”
“It DESCRIBED what the plant looked like!”
“Well! That's…! Good to know!” Wheatley huffed. Fact just groaned and rolled away.
“...So uh. Egg on my face, I guess. Yeah… Yeah I hung it up. Caught red handed, so to speak. Red handled, for me and my case I guess?” Wheatley dryly laughed, fans whirring more obviously as he lowered his railing down to them. “I uh… I guess what I was trying to do is… Not exactly a secret anymore. I uh, wouldn't exactly BLAME you if-if you don't want to. Especially seeing as it's not ACTUALLY mistletoe- Ah!”
Wheatley paused as the bottom panel of his optic got a kiss pressed up against it.
Oh. Oh they were anyways.
Wheatley took care that he actually stayed quiet. Kisses meant no talking, right? So he just, gently shut his eye, pressing his optic into it, to reciprocate as best he could.
When it ended, he felt the world around him almost melting away as he just focused on them.
“Oh WOW. So uh. So that's a kiss. Yeah, I can see why humans like it so much, feels nice, makes you all warm. In a good way. VERY very good way. Not complaining one bit about that. In fact uh. Could I have another?”
With their nod, Wheatley shut his eye, and felt a now familiar press into said optic.
So I mentioned earlier on my main blog about putting a bunch of random characters (OC and TV/movie types) and since I wanted to draw Lucas for a while now, he got to go first.
Does he survive: If he continues to make obscene gestures and toting Wheatley around, most certainly not.
