Dear American Corporate Retailers,
Listen up y'all, here's how to beat your competitors and make your employees happy by giving them Thanksgiving with their families at the same time:
Have your Black Friday sale on Wednesday next time. Make a big to-do about how *your* sale is on Wednesday in order for folks to get all those things they need for their Thanksgiving feast, and to allow your employees to have the holiday with their families. Throw a curveball doorbuster on Black Friday that you advertise all over the place on Wedneday, but have normal Friday business hours since everybody else is opening all night long and the previous evening. That way everyone will want to be at your store during normal hours; all the other doorbusters in town will be gone. Whoever does it first wins that year's economy.