More Incorrect KISS Quotes (Revenge and Reunion years + Bonus: The Invasion)
Oops very gay except Robert
(Update: Mark is now in pretty blue uwu)
Eric: Anyone d-
Paul: Depressed?
Gene: Drained?
Bruce: Dumb?
Vinnie: Disliked?
Eric: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...
Ace: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.
Gene: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
Tommy: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Peter: I joined in on the dumb stuff.
Paul: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!
Eric: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!
Paul: Tubular AF!
Gene: Mood to the max!
Bruce, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.
Vinnie, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she’s a square.
Ace: Rules are made to be broken.
Paul: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Gene: Uh, piñatas.
Bruce: Glow sticks.
Vinnie: Karate boards.
Eric: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Ace: Rules.
Paul:
Paul: Eric isn’t answering his phone
Bruce: I’ll call
Gene: Paul and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Eric: Hello?
Eric: Okay, truth or dare?
Vinnie: Truth
Eric: How many hours have you slept this week?
Vinnie:
Vinnie: ...Dare
Eric: Go to bed.
Vinnie: I don’t like this game.
[The band trying to con someone for tax reasons]
Eric: Um, Vinnie, why are you pretending I'm this guy's family?
Vinnie: We need money!
Eric: You're scamming him?
Vinnie: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him?
Eric: What?! No way!
Vinnie: Why not? We already stole Eric!
Eric: Hey guys
Eric: No, we didn't. Kitty can think and talk for himself, he can do whatever he wants!
Eric: I wanna steal
Eric: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
Vinnie: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Eric: Smad.
Vinnie: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?
Eric: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.
Eric: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.
Eric: Good thinking.
Vinnie: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Eric: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Eric: I got distracted about halfway through.
Paul: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
Gene: Truth or dare?
Eric: Dare
Gene: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room
Eric: Hey Paul
Paul, blushing: Yeah?
Eric: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Vinnie
Vinnie: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?
Eric: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Kitty?
Eric: Probably “road work ahead”.
Paul: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.
Vinnie: I just ended a four year relationship.
Bruce: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?
Vinnie: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship.
*Eric and Carrie fighting from across the room*
Vinnie: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.
Eric: ... Your what?
Vinnie: My friends.
Eric: Is he saying “friends”?
Bruce: I think he’s being sarcastic.
Gene: No, no, no, this is delirium, he’s cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Vinnie! All of your friends are in this room.
Vinnie: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.
Paul: Screw you!
Vinnie: I'll have to check with my beloved, but I'll get back to you.
Bruce: I feel like doing something stupid.
Eric: I’m stupid, do me.
Bruce: How much you wanna bet Gene got a Lap dance from Vinnie?
Eric: If that happened, Kitty can drink free tonight.
Eric: As much as I love the thought of having free drinks I don't like the idea of Gene receiving a Lap dance from someone other than me.
Bruce: Hey Vinnie, did you give Gene a lap dance?
Vinnie: So what if I did?
Bruce, to Eric: I guess Kitty is drinking free tonight.
Vinnie: Be right back, I'm gonna go cry-
Gene, entering the room: What the f-
Vinnie: *sucking on a popsicle*
Dana: Pfft, you practicing for when Eric gets here?
Vinnie: *takes a huge ass bite out of the popsicle*
Dana: *Concern*
Alternatively:
Vinnie: *sucking on a popsicle*
Dana: Pfft, you practicing for when Paul gets here?
Vinnie: *takes a huge ass bite out of the popsicle*
Dana: *Concern*
Vinnie: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.
Gene: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?
Vinnie: Seize the dick.
Paul: Go fuck yourself.
Vinnie, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch
Mark: Hey, what’s up?
Vinnie: The sky.
Mark: No, I meant like, what are you doing?
Vinnie: Oh, Eric.
Eric: *highfives Vinnie* Nice!
Paul: I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter “s”.
Gene: *looks over at Vinnie and Eric* Gene: Is it “sexual tension”?
[Also applies to Spacecat really]
Eric: What are you in the mood for?
Vinnie: World domination.
Eric: That's a bit ambitious.
Vinnie: You are my world.
Eric: Aww...
Vinnie:
Eric:
Vinnie:
Eric: OH.
Dana: As top in this relationship, I think we should-
Mark: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.
Gene: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff and got distracted.
Eric: I'm stuff!
Eric: I'm got distracted!
Vinnie: We had sex.
Dana: How is the most beautiful person in the world?
Mark: *blushing* I—
Vinnie, butting into the conversation: Eric is perfect, thanks for asking.
Vinnie: Having two partners is both amazing and complicated. But all our problems are solved with communication.
Eric: It’s my turn to cuddle Eric.
Vinnie: FIVE MORE MINUTES DAMMIT!
Vinnie: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?
Mark: It was autocorrect.
Vinnie: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?
Mark: Yes.
Mark: We have a problem.
Vinnie: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.
Dana: Pros and cons of dating me.
Dana: Pros. You'll be the cute one.
Dana: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-
Ace: I think I'm falling for you.
Peter: Then get up.
Vinnie: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.
Eric: Oh. We're going out?
Vinnie: Wh...
Dana: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake.
Vinnie: You are literally making a Valentine’s day card for Mark.
Dana, pointing his hot glue gun towards Vinnie: You’re on thin fucking ice.
Mark: Truth or dare?
Dana: Truth!
Eric: Do you-
Vinnie: I dare you to kiss me.
Eric: *kisses Vinnie*
Mark, to Paul: He said “truth”, right?
Eric: God, if only someone loved me…
Vinnie: *standing behind him with roses*
Gene: *holding box of chocolates*
Bruce: *has balloons and a card*
Paul: *facepalms* This is sad.
Paul: So, what is Eric to you?
Tommy: The reason I wake up every morning.
Paul: ...That’s adorable.
Eric earlier that morning, barging into Tommy’s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!
Mark: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.
Gene: Aren't you forgetting something?
Mark: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Gene's forehead before running out.*
Gene: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?
Dana: BE A BETTER PERSON!
Mark: WHY?!
Dana: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!
Bobby: *about Eric and Vinnie* They make a cute couple, huh?
Dana: They certainly are standing next to each other.
Gene: Ooh, somebody has a crush
Paul: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Tommy I just think he’s cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about him.
*Later that night*
Paul, very much awake: Uh oh.
*playing twister*
Gene: Right hand red.
Vinnie: *ends up on top of Paul*
Paul: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?
Gene: I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice.
Peter: I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.
Ace: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?
Peter, already taking off his clothes: God, Ace, you’re so fucking stupid.
Eric, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.
Paul: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.
Ace, throwing himself head-first into Peter’s lap: Tell me I'm pretty!
Peter, lovingly stroking his hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.
Gene: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes.
Vinnie: Wow, I've gotta hear this.
Gene: I was angry and envious of my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share.
Vinnie: You forgot pride.
Gene: No, I'm pretty proud of this.
Vinnie: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*
Paul: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?
Vinnie: I—
I don’t know the correct answer to that question.
Paul: Did it hurt when you fell-
Vinnie: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-
Paul: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.
Vinnie: ...
Paul: You just laid there for 15 minutes.
Dana: Heh, Vinnie sneezes like a girl.
Vinnie: How about I pound you like boy?
That didn’t come out right.
Vinnie: I think we should kiss.
Paul: And I think you should die but we don’t always get what we want.
Mark: Do you think sex without love is a sin?
Vinnie: If it is, I’ll see you in hell.
Eric: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.
Robert: You were flirting with Vinnie.
Eric: So what? He’s my boyfriend.
Robert: You asked him if he was single.
Eric:
Robert: And then you cried when he said he wasn’t.
Ace, setting down a card: Ace of spades
Peter, pulling out an Uno card: +4
Gene, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
Paul, trembling: What are we playing
Ace: I’m an idiot.
Peter:
Paul:
Gene:
Eric:
Ace:
Peter: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.
Peter: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?
Vinnie: For the dogs.
Peter: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?
Vinnie: They don't know how.
Vinnie: We’re getting married, bitches!
Eric: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem.
Vinnie: Norwegia. Is. Not. A. COUNTRY!
Ace: Then where are Norwegian people from!?
Paul: NORWAY!!
Eric, watching Ace and Peter from afar: Two Bros, Chillin in a hot tub. Five feet apart because they think they’re not gay, BUT THEY REALLY ARE-
Ace, talking about Peter: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH HIM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? HE DID. HE KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.
Eric: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds?
Vinnie: Yes?
Eric: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days.
Vinnie: Fuck.
Eric: It's gonna be a fun week!
Vinnie: I'm going to Gene's house.
Eric: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker.
Vinnie’s ass is getting destroyed
Gene: Wow, they really hate us.
Eric: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic.
Gene: But we’re not gay, Eric.
Eric:
Gene:
Eric: We’re not?
Paul : You three, explain right now!
Tommy: It was Ace.
Eric: It was Ace.
Eric: It was Ace.
Ace:
Ace: …fuck
Eric, on the phone: I better go…kay, call me later… byeeee!
Bruce: Friend of Yours?
Eric: Nope, wrong number.
Bruce: ???
Ace: Peter, what do you have?
Peter : A KNIFE!
Ace: Okay, have fu-
Paul: NO!
Paul: So, Ace is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.
Eric: Why?
Paul: Because I've caught him trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.
Ace, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.
*Gene holding Nick*
Bruce: Oh God, I can’t believe one of us actually has one of these.
Eric: I know, I still am one of these.
Ace: Hey guys, I’m making french toast sticks in the oven. I’m gonna take a quick nap, so wake me up in 5 minutes to flip them over.
*5 minutes later*
Bruce: Ace it’s been 5 minutes, time to flip your sticks.
Ace: snnnzzzz...
Bruce: ACE YOUR STICKS!
Eric: *Stands in trash can.*
Gene: Eric, not again! You're not trash, you're at least recycling!
Vinnie: I feel like I have died and gone to heaven.
Paul: I have that dream, too, but you go in the other direction.
Eric: So jellyshish-
Paul, laughing: JELLYSHISH!?
Eric: You know what I meant!
Tommy: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them?
Bruce, watching Peter screaming, Paul trying to set a sleeping Vinnie on fire, and Gene choking on air: I don't know either.
Eric: My favorite thing about big dogs is that when you push them over, they're all like "Oh, I'm lying down now! Someone might scratch my stomach! I might nap! Endless possibilities!"
Bruce: ...whereas, when you push little dogs over, they're all like, "Vengeance! Death before dishonor!"
Paul: So what’s for dinner?
Eric: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise!
Paul: …
Paul: Is it soup?
Eric: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*
Paul: Please, enough with the soup puns!
Eric: Wow, you’re soup-per mean.
Paul: STOP!
*one hour later*
Paul: It’s fucking tacos?!?!?!
Peter: What? I'm not aggressive!
Paul: Last Tuesday, you wacked me with a pair of crocs and stole my chocolate chips?
Peter: Survival of the fittest, bitch.
