Do peoples' wings really hurt that much?
(Note: I put this on the wrong blog yesterday, a blog I usually try to keep separate from 'kin things for personal reasons, and today I panic-deleted it after reblogging to the RIGHT blog, but I want this post to be in the tags, because I'm genuinely curious about others' experiences! So, remaking it with the tags on the RIGHT blog this time.)
I just realized something that's a bit out of the ordinary for what I've seen, but I don't know if it's just because of small sample size?
Statistically, when I see people talking about wings (particularly feeling their own phantom wings), they're talking about them aching, or hurting, or being uncomfortable being against something. Nine out of ten times I see someone talking about wings, they're talking about them being uncomfortable.
But my experience with my wings is much more euphoric. I feel them most when they're emoting for me. (This has happened a LOT in the S/era shift; I'm almost constantly aware of them moving, laying certain ways, especially ''dancing'' to music for some reason?)
In raven shifts, they're a source of delight. I most often feel them at rest, but sometimes I'll feel them flutter in excitement or affection, or flare wide when I'm startled. (I tend to actually throw my arms out when I'm startled in bird shifts. It made my sibling laugh out loud once.)
Even as Li|ith (C|awthorne), where the wings were originally a side-effect of something deeply guilty for me, something I took on myself after traumatizing my own sister... They were never SOLELY uncomfortable. They worried me in those shifts, hell the first time my astral form shifted to "the raven beast" (well before it was shown in canon, possibly even before I kinsidered Li|ith???), it was tied to a lot of negative emotion, but the wings were a response to the negative emotion. Does that make sense? The wings didn't make me uncomfortable. Their presence was a response to feeling bad already.
But even with that shift, I made my peace with it. (I wish I could remember how... but all I know is that it didn't work for me the way it worked for Ed|a. I think mine was goofier.)
Anyways, rather than the presence of my wings causing pain or discomfort, they bring me peace and joy. I stretched today, after watching some of HH and thus deepening my S/era shift, and the stretching made me feel my wings even more vividly! Feeling physically less tense and achy brought my wings into sharp awareness. My experience with my wings is made vivider through joy rather than pain.
So is it really that common for phantom wings to cause people pain? Have I only been in spaces where people vent rather than share euphoria? Am I an outlier in that feeling my wings is a pleasant experience rather than painful, or are the wider pleasant experiences just not crossing my (admittedly small) circle? A mixed bag, perhaps?