Corzetti - Temporary Score: 12
Description: flat, usually medallion-shaped, stamped with a design
First Take Points: 5 - these. are. incredible. i know, i know, you're looking at them, and you're like "glowy, they're just big coins. what's the big de-" HEAR ME OUT! because i too, looked at this bag of uncooked pasta coins, and was underwhelmed. they seemed fragile. the stamping didn't feel deep enough to hold through cooking and i expected they would be paper thin and ancillary to the sauce. MY FRIENDS. i don't know what twist of physics or gluten is responsible for this, but this is the first EVER pasta that just cooks... perfectly. you cook it al dente and it is sublime. it is not rubbery, nor is it flimsy. it is toothsome without being chewy. it is a soft and pillow like coin that bathes in the sauce like it was born to it, not sliding through it, but bonding with it. also, the design becomes BETTER with cooking.
Remix Bonus Points: 5 - so after my first encounter with corzetti in red sauce, i could not get over the fact that they are the same diameter as an average zucchini. and thinking about zucchini coins made me think about ratatouille (the movie, and the dish in the movie, stylized as it was into a spiral masterpiece with thin, mandolined slices of veg). i thought about this dish for months, considering different vegetables that i could possibly shape into coins, but ultimately, as you can see in the photos above, i kept it simple - repeating spirals of corzetti and zucchini coins (and yes, i did this layering with my fingers while the corzetti was still hot, before it had the chance to stick together, and yes, i burned the crap out of my fingers), interspersed every other layer with surprise medallions of spam (don't @ me, spam is amazing), then given a sprinkle of bell pepper shards before given an olive oil wash and a generous sprinkling of oregano and basil and into the oven. can i give it more points? i want to give it more points.
Amusement Points: 3 - i mainly amuse myself thinking of all the various coins that archaeologists have discovered over the years, stamped with various rulers and laudatory imagery, and about how olympians bite their medals, and it coallesces into a hilarious mish-mash in my mind of ancient corzetti discovered and strung on a lanyard for convenient snacking.
Annoyance Deductions: -1 - these are actually just a tiny bit fragile when they are uncooked. they're like eggs. they'll survive some moderate jostling, but if you drop them from any sort of a height (like, you know, a foot), or squeeze them too hard, or put them underneath the quart containers of chicken stock (WHO BAGS GROCERIES LIKE THAT ISN'T THERE A CLASS OR A TRAINING VIDEO OR JUST COMMON SENSE), they will shatter and you will be sad.
Alternative Uses: these should be currency. we can go back to the barter and trade system, and i'll pay you in pasta coins for delivering my groceries.
also, just for @waytooinvested-main: these are the right size for rat frisbees.
