touch | seb stan one shot
pairing: reader x co-star!seb
warnings: big fat fluff, anxiety, slow burn but NOT because it’s a one shot after all, romantic cheesy CRAP
a\n: started out as a headcanon, so it’s written in a weirdly casual way (for the most part). just a heads up! Also let me know what you think!!! Feel 100% free
Another note: I HATE it when writers don’t put an ‘under the cut’ link and i’ve already done that twice so im sorry!!!! Last time promise
You and seb have been acquaintances for a couple of years, met each other in a broadway production you both starred in, you were never super close. Just distant friends. After a while of not seeing him you two get to play in a second rendition of the show due to popular demand or something like that and you become friends again.
And as time goes by, with each rehearsal he suddenly sees something in you. Suddenly he realises his feelings for you. He looks at you and realises you’re more than a fair woman, you’re beautiful. The flaws that used to make you an average in his blind eyes now make you exactly what he sees as the ideal. Utter perfection.
But... Sebastian keeps it on the down low because he’s kind of embarrassed about all of that, as one would be.
His embarrassment mostly comes from him believing that you’re out of his league. I mean he knows he looks decent, more or less. But as for his personality, he never thought of himself as macho or suave and you’re ex was all that, so Seb doesn’t have the courage to make a move.
But listen to that; there are certain things that he just can’t control. Little small tiny hiccups.
Like, by example, when you two are rehearsing he’ll come wearing this, gorgeous, gorgeous, mens perfume that smells like heaven for all those attracted to the male species. And it’s most definitely on purpose.
One time, you two rehearse a Kiss ™, and out of nowhere, he takes his time. Just slightly more. And instead of looking into your eyes afterwards and holding you firmly as the once director directed, he looks down and blushes and just holds one of your hands ever so lightly. But it’s the lightness that gets you to really feel it. Surprisingly, or not, just your fingers brushing against each other has so much more impact than a firm grip of the body. God.
In the mornings he starts to bring you coffee. And he did that the first time you were working together, but now it’s Starbucks. You’re favourite brew - alongside these great dutch waffles they have.
He lives nowhere near a Starbucks.
And when all the actors are sitting down for some wine drinking and lighthearted conversations, he tries to sit as close to you as possible. If there’s a spot right next to you, it’s a jackpot. It really is.
So then, he sits next to you on the sofa and your knees keep brushing. He looks at them and then at you - back and forth. You’re unbothered, invested instead in the conversation with your co-star across the room.
So he stays as is.
On another similar occasion he even puts his arm behind you. not to get your attention or to let you know he’s flirting, God no! Simply because he likes to be close to you and feel your body warmth on him. The moment you’d notice, he would move his arm and apologise, as he rehearsed in his mind.
You laugh and sit back on his arm. He doesn’t pull it away, he’s afraid to do any sharp movements - if he’s afraid to touch you - it’s a signal he wants to, isn’t it? All those thoughts get his mind spinning and he’s super anxious and he hates himself for that. He didn’t do anything dramatic, nothing too risky, and he’s already sweaty. And you can kinda sense it.
You look back and he swallows his spit and blushes. “Are you ok? Did I hurt you?”, and he wants to say all is well. more than well. That you’re beautiful and smell nice and he’s lucky to feel you against him. But you lean forward and return to your chattering, not before flashing a lazy and ingenuine smile. But he’ll take it!!
One time, he gets a facetime call from his mum as you two are waiting for rehearsal to start. Something inside him (most likely the something that considers you to be one of the focal points of his life at moment - his heart) tells him to introduce you two. You and his mother.
So after turning the camera to the green room to show Georgetta the place he was spending most his time at, he turns it back and then to his side, to you. To unbothered, distracted, nonchalant, cool, beautiful, funny, dreamy you.
You say hello. You say hello and then giggle a bit. And that little insecure fuck takes it as a “that was really weird of you” giggle. So he turns the phone to his other side and introduces his mum to a “stage-crew-assistant-person-kinda” while he’s sowing together a few bold coloured garmets, and then goes, “So yah... we’re all good friends here!”, and his mind goes full on survival mode and starts looking for a way out of the situation.
One day... You two finish late. You tell him in a casual manner that you’re going home by foot. The little idiot says, “Great, goodnight!”, with an appropriate idiot smile, so you start walking away.
But the minute you step outside the venue, his calls your name and asks if you want him to walk you. It’s the bravest he’s ever been near you, and your oblivious ass goes haha sure weird flex but ok ! :-).
At the first 3 minutes you two are kinda silent, which is awkward for the both of you - but so so so much more for him. It’s painful.
But then, you start talking about the hot weather outside and that leads to talking about how much you love winter and miss it. And your descriptions of the cold weather send Sebastian back to his childhood so much it makes his nostrils expand because he can almost smell the rain.
The conversation suddenly gets deep. Without him even trying, which makes him excited. It reconfirms his now strong feelings for your cuteass.
He tells you about winter in romania which leads to his escaping from communism story which leads to talking about the human condition and the meaning of life. And it’s wonderful and he’s not that scared anymore, it’s like talking to his best friend.
Before you know it it’s 4AM and you’ve been sitting on your buildings stairs for about 2 hours. You frankly wanna end the conversation because you have a long day tomorrow but he talks so freely and he’s never been like that with you before —he opens up and it shouldn’t ever be interrupted, it being such a rare thing to occur. So you listen carefully and start to notice;
The way his lips move is to be put in a museum of modern art. He is so invested in the story so his hands move magestically to further convey it, and they’re big and manly and he looks so handsome, you feel like you just met him. Your hearts literally flutters and you hope he never finishes the story because when it’s your turn to speak, you’ll have nothing to say but hello, nice to meet you.
And—“Wow,” you think, “What was that?”. Now your mind is racing.
You aren’t aware of his own loving and anxious thoughts so you do everything you can to surpress your own.
You both are surprised by that time. You’re surprised by the fact that this beautiful man with the great deal of talent and an even greater deal of sex appeal agrees to stay in your presence for so long.
He is surprised by the exact same thing. This treasure of a woman sitting beside him and listening to him. Not to mention, he’s surprised by himself, feeling comfortable to talk for so long!
All of a sudden he’s aware of how much talking he’s been doing and he stops. “-I’ve been talking for so long. Oh god, sorry.”
He reaches to put his hand on your own (which rests on your thigh) as he says the word “Sorry”. But his body stops him and he only puts it on her knee.
Then again, it’s also so painfully intimate. A mistake. His mind says go back but he doesn’t. He freezes.
The sun starts to rise as the street clock says 4:55, and you see him now much clearer. You smile at Sebastian while a person that works for the city in cleaning its streets walks past you two.
Your hand was now voluntarily resting on his.
He finishes swiping some leaves away and looks at you two, and, with an incredibly apologising look, asks to get up because he should swipe off some dirt and dust of off the stairs you’ve been on for 2 hours.
You do so and look away while he does his craft so you don’t make him uncomfortable by staring at him. Sebastian has such great manners, you think to yourself. But it wasn’t manners—it was a pure heart—you’ll find later in life.
The elderly man turns around and thanks you two for your patience. He rarely encountered something like that in the streets of New York.
“You two are charming. Have a good morning.”
Sebastian nods to him in thanks and the man walks away. No words needed to be exchanged now in order for you to figure the situation out. No words needed. The sun was now high enough to light the street up and you saw everything so very clear - the both of you.