#count vampire

[incorrectpremadequotes]

Count Vampire: Some people freak out a bit about the the age difference. Uh, they think, ‘What’s this 96 year old lady doing with a guy four times her age?’ And, you know, I don’t care, they could call me cradle snatcher. Who cares?

[laziest-trait]

Roommates are such a fun concept

[incorrectpremadequotes]

Contessa Vampire: I think we drink virgin blood because it sounds cool.

Count Vampire: I think of it like this. If you're going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had woohooed it.

[incorrectpremadequotes]

Count Vampire: The movie 'Twilight'. Have you seen it? Okay, I'm the main in 'Twilight'. You know the main guy? 'Twilight'? That's me.

[incorrectpremadequotes]

Count Vampire: Vampires love virgins. It's their favorite food.

[incorrectpremadequotes]

Count Vampire: I went into the lounge the other day and there was blood all over my nice antique couch.

Contessa Vampire: Which one, the red one?

Count Vampire: Well, it’s red now, yeah. If you’re going to eat a victim on my nice clean couch put down some newspapers on the floor! And some towels. It’s not hard to do.

Contessa Vampire: We’re vampires! We don’t put down towels.

Count Vampire: Some vampires do.

Contessa Vampire: Well, not serious ones.