"Hierarchy is couple privilege weaponized." ~ Jamie Michael Feldman The debate around hierarchy rages on because people can. not. get. past the fundamental issue that the people who complain about hierarchy are complaining about a *power imbalance* (http://blog.franklinveaux.com/2013/03/guest-post-polyamory-and-hierarchy/) and the people who defend it are using a Motte & Bailey fallacy by talking about "priority" (https://www.morethantwo.com/blog/2016/06/can-polyamorous-hierarchies-ethical-part-1-tower-village). Hierarchy is taking an unearned, default set of privileges and using those privileges as blunt objects with which to beat new partners about the head until they cower in submission or run off, broken and bloody and once again alone. We don't usually ask for the privileges that our society or communities give us. We can't always help that we have them. But we can help what we do with them. Some of us prefer to use our privileges to help others less fortunate. Others choose to aim them at those less fortunate to keep them there.