Okay so I have this weird thing where I fully support the wearing of masks and community care and everything on a moral level but there’s this part of me that’s like, afraid of it? Like, in this hypothetical world where everyone did the right thing and masked all the time, would it then become taboo to see someone’s face? It’s not masking itself I hate but I do hate the idea of never smiling at someone again. I know this sounds stupid but its an existential dread I have. Also, if big gatherings and dining out is bad, how will we have fun? I love comeradery and the energy of other people and I don’t want to not have that in the future. Do you think there will ever be a permanent covid cure and even a permanent cold cure so we don’t have to do it anymore and everyone’s still safe? What about effective transparent masks? Will we ever see those? If there were transparent masks I probably wouldn’t be so scared…
hi! first, thanks so much for asking & sharing your thoughts/feelings bc that shit’s scary sometimes!! this might be kind of a long answer but it’s just bc I really wanted to thoughtfully address everything you asked about!!
1. the idea of a hypothetical world where everyone masks
i’m not sure this is something we’ll get to, but it’s also very early into this issue in the grand scheme of history. for example, a lot of people cite how long it took for the concept of washing your hands to catch on as a common sense hygiene precaution in Europe (about XXX years). there’s also a common statistic i see about how it takes XX years for the new research to become common knowledge among regular doctors. i know this sounds cliche, but we just really don’t know what’s going to happen. we don’t know what future research will look like or how it’ll spread or what the political landscape (wherever you are) will be in 5 years and how that will impact things.
basically: yes, it’s scary to try to think about with the long-term goal of wearing a mask is, and if things will continue like this “forever”. i feel that way frequently if i let myself think on it too long, and honestly my best strategy right now is to focus on more concrete and immediate things, like keeping myself & my community safe, figuring out how to talk to my friends about covid safety, and helping with local covid safety advocacy work. and this keeps me from feeling too hopeless
2. not seeing someone’s face/them not seeing yours
this is also something i feel sad about sometimes too! My ability to make a lot of specific & silly face expressions was a big part of how I interacted with people irl face-to-face, and i’ve had to kind of let go of that (except in video calls, in which it’s still very effective!).
i have found though, in the new world, that faces have taken on a different meaning symbolically for me. now when I see the unmasked face of someone, i feel hurt and sad, since it symbolizes the lack of effort or care on their part for my safety and that of those around them. and seeing other people in masks inspires powerful love & affection, because i feel like they actually respect me and care about other people the way i do.
on the flip side, i have some covid safe friends that i’ve hung out with unmasked, usually on a weekend visit where we’ve both tested beforehand & are sharing a house/room for a few days. and that time together is extra special because of the trust we have, & the shared commitment to keeping each other safe.
it doesn’t have to be a black & white thing where when you commit to Covid safety no one will ever see your face ever again! there are ways you can have that intimacy of seeing someone’s face & still stay safe. which leads to…
3. big gatherings/dining out
Yes, to a certain extent these things can’t stay the same. We can’t turn back time and we can’t reverse the way the world is now. and that sucks!!!
sometimes it feels like you’re not allowed to complain about the sacrifices and inconveniences that come with practicing covid safety, because that would mean the people who don’t care about covid would jump on that as a reason to never do the things we do. but it’s totally valid to have frustrations and big feelings about what you’re giving up to align your behavior with your morals.
because a lot of the time, making the right choices means you can’t live as easy and carefree of a life as you did before this. and I think it’s important to acknowledge and make peace with that fact when we find ourselves being sad about missing out on things like this!
It’s also helpful, in my experience, to remember that for a lot of people, avoiding big gatherings and dining together is no longer a choice. For the disabled and vulnerable who could be killed by one Covid infection, they have been for so completely out of the public sphere that we don’t even see them or know who they are. and for people who are lower or less at risk (bc everyone faces risk from covid to some degree) part of our duty in solidarity and support of those people is to make the sacrifices that for us are optional.
HOWEVER - Covid safety doesn’t mean you can never have fun again & it doesn’t mean you have to be isolated for good! there will always be people like us, who wear masks all the time, who believe it’s the right thing to do even when it’s hard, to have fun with, even if it takes a while to find them.
i don’t know where you’re located but there are more and more groups i see popping up around the world dedicated to organizing Covid safer activities, masked nights at museums, masked dance parties, masked gatherings, etc. higher quality masks and higher quality tests are becoming more common (and hopefully more affordable) which really helps open up community activities. (i can expand on those resources in a diff post if it would be helpful)
4. Cure
this is another one where i kind of go "who knows what could happen!" lmao, because we just cant predict the future. There are more science-y people than me who keep up seriously with research on covid, I believe there's some development happening on a intra-nasal vaccine that can stop the virus from like taking root in the body but i am simply not knowledgeable enough to weigh in on how fast that would happen and how it would exactly impact us.
5. Transparent masks
This is a great point! Transparent masks are also really important for Deaf/hard of hearing people, as often their communication relies on reading lips or the facial expressions that are part of lots of sign language communications (anyone in the Deaf/HoH community please feel free to correct me! this is just what i've learned from others). so yes there has been a significant push to make masks that can accommodate that & Still allow people to protect themselves from airborne viruses! i believe there are some companies out there tht do make them, but they're just not very common or in high demand so sometimes it can be difficult to source them. If you're interested in acquiring one for yourself I could try to pull together some links I've seen about it for you! (in a separate ask as this one is getting uhhh a little long LOL) 6. TLDR
OKAY SORRY That got so fucking long hahah, but I hope that kind of addressed some of your questions? really appreciate you reaching out & im always down to talk about covid stuff!!
so like TLDR:
We really can't predict the future
i would recommend focusing on the present when possible, and how to improve things from here & now.
also, it's hugely beneficial to find other people who take covid precautions that you can talk to and spend time with! really helps alleviate isolation & a lot of worry to have spaces where you're not constantly being told you're overreacting and irrational by the people who aren't masking/don't care about covid anymore
