(A/N): A belated Secret Santa gift fic for @wienersmosh... Merry Christmas!! Sorry it's so late, I've been ill and it sat half-finished and unedited for days LOL
Friendship Always Wins: An Ianthony Fic
“Hey, Ian, can I talk to you for a second?”
Really, this could be about literally anything. Courtney is one of my employees, one of my friends, and one of my directors.
But for some reason it feels like Courtney wants to talk to me about something personal. And I’m not particularly in the mood for it today.
“What’s up, Court?” I look up from my computer and try to plaster on a half-assed smile, something that most of the office would buy as me trying not to be a bummer. Or something. I think. Most people don’t ask me about it, anyway.
Except a couple people in particular, including the person who just closed the door behind them.
“So, since Anthony came back I’ve noticed you’ve been a lot happier, and like, I want to say that I’m really proud of you for being so much more open and free with your thoughts and emotions and stuff.”
“Uh, thanks I think?”
“I just…” They trail off for a moment, hesitating, clasping their fingers together. “I feel like you’ve got some shit going on, and I wanna let you know that you’ve got people to talk to, you know?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Listen…” Courtney plops down onto the couch in front of me with a sigh, fiddling with her ponytail. “I’ve definitely noticed you’ve got something you’re not telling people, and Shayne’s noticed too. And if Shayne’s noticed, you’re not very good at hiding it… My husband is oblivious as shit and we both know it.” She says with an affectionate smile on her face.
“That’s not quite true. He noticed that Olivia had a crush on –”
“Pointing out that Shayne notices when his friends have crushes is not helping your case.” Courtney cuts me off, grinning at me with her eyebrows raised. “That’s why I’m here.”
“You think I have a crush?” I hiss at her, rising out of my seat quickly and glancing at the door to check that it’s actually closed.
She grins wider. “A-ha. You seem pretty nervous now, Ian.”
I freeze. “I’m just not in the mood for this kind of conversation and would like for it to not be overheard by other people.” I say bluntly.
“Not in the mood?” She leans forward. “I mean, if I’ve crossed a line, just tell me to get the hell out of your office like a big ol’ meanie boss-man, but I’m here as your friend, and I just want you to feel happy and comfortable with the people around you, and not feel like you have to hide shit.”
I sigh. “I don’t want you to get the hell out of my office, but I just don’t know what there is to talk about.”
“What there is to talk about is that I’m pretty sure you’re crushing on your best friend.”
I’ve never felt more like I’m having an out-of-body-experience than at this moment. I feel a chill go down my spine and my voice feels distant and cold. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Cut the shit, Ian.” Courtney says in a playful voice that I don’t think matches my reaction at all. “I can see it.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I say more darkly, avoiding eye contact with her, sitting back down and staring at my screen.
“Oh, I don’t?” They stand up, stepping forward to lean over my desk, staring at me until I look up at them.
“No. You don’t. You don’t know what I’m feeling or what you think you see.”
Courtney snorts, leaning back and crossing their arms over their chest. “Oh, I don’t know what you’re feeling? You think you have the monopoly on being in love with your best friend and co-worker and being afraid to tell anyone because you’re scared of losing the greatest connection you’ve ever had with someone? You think I don’t know what that feels like?”
I blink at them. “I’m sorry, Court, that’s not–”
“No, I get it. You’re freaked out about it and you’re worried everyone sees it and thinks you’re some ridiculous fool, or worse that he sees it and thinks you’re a creep or a freak.”
“I– do they??”
“No,you idiot.” Courtney rolls her eyes but her tone is playful and caring. “Nobody thinks you’re a fool or a creep. But we do want to see you happy.”
“Wait, who’s ‘we’? Who else–?”
“Me, Shayne, Damien, Amanda, Erin Dougal, Alex Tran, Kiana, Spencer…” Courtney counts on her fingers with a grin. “Nicole, Mike, Marcus, Trevor, Alé–”
“Oh God, I get it!” I put my hands over my ears dramatically, and I can’t stop myself from letting out a laugh despite my anxiety.
“So what are you going to do about it?” She asks.
“What?” I look up at her incredulously. “What am I supposed to do about it?”
“Maybe, I don’t know, tell him?”
“Jesus, Courtney, are you insane??” I stand up and start pacing. “What the fuck would that conversation even look like? ‘Hey, I know we’ve known each other since we were in sixth grade but I’ve had a crush on you since we were in seventh grade and I’ve been afraid to tell you for years because I thought you were straight and then by the time I realized you weren’t straight it felt too awkward to tell you and then you had a girlfriend and then we weren’t talking for more than half a decade and I thought I was over it but as soon as we started talking again the feelings came back and I’ve been so excited to work with you again but I’m worried that I’ll lose you as a friend if you ever find out how much I love you so I’ve just been trying to keep my damn mouth shut and deal with it just like I did before you left in the first place’?!”
Courtney blinks at me with her mouth open. “You’ve been in love with Anthony since seventh grade?”
“I–” I try to sputter out some sort of reply, but I hadn’t even realized I had admitted that while I was ranting.
“Oh, Ian…” They look at me with some sort of pity that almost pisses me off. “You’ve gotta say something.”
“Why? What good would it do? What would even come out of it? We’d get married and live happily ever after?”
She shrugs. “It worked for me and Shayne.”
“Not everyone is you and Shayne, Court!” I snap, a little too aggressively.
Courtney’s face flushes pink. “Well, I know that, I just…” As her voice trails off, she looks down at her fingers.
“I’m sorry, Courtney, I didn’t mean to yell, I just…” I let myself flop down onto the couch she was sitting in earlier, my head in my hands. “I’m scared.” My voice breaks.
I feel Courtney’s weight on the seat next to me, and her hand on my back. “I know, Ian. But I don’t think it would end as badly as you’re scared it would.”
“You don’t know that for sure.”
“No, I don’t, but I know both of you, and I know Anthony isn’t leaving again anytime soon. I know you can trust him.”
“I don’t want to lose him, Courtney.”
Courtney’s hand squeezes my shoulder. “You wouldn’t. I promise.”
–
Three weeks later…
–
“So, Kiana said we’re sharing the top floor because we’re, and I quote, ‘the big daddies of the company’.” Anthony chuckles as he reads the text out loud as we walk down the hallway to the hotel room.
I snort. “‘Daddy’ almost sounds fancy coming from Kiana.”
“Arasha already calls you that, doesn’t she?” He grins, taking out the key and swiping it in the door.
“So do Courtney and Olivia sometimes, it’s a bit weird.”
“I feel like it’s a compliment.”
I shrug, putting my bags down by one of the living chairs. “Whatever, man. I don’t care if they say it, it’s just a word.”
Anthony puts down his bags next to another chair as we both look around the room. It’s pretty big, with a small kitchenette and a separate door to what I assume is a ‘bedroom’.
As I’m looking around hopefully for a second room, I hear Anthony as he walks towards the bathroom – probably curious about the size of the bathtub.”I think it’s cute. It shows that they see you as a father figure, but not in a weird way, you know?”
I don’t see a second door. God, there better be two beds in there… “Yeah, as long as it stays wholesome. They make weird jokes about it sometimes but I’m glad they’ve never really crossed any lines about it. I’m not one to make or enjoy any hint about sleeping with my employees.” I shudder.
Anthony snorts. “We’ve seen enough of that shit in other companies. That dynamic is so gross.”
I grab my water bottle from the side of my backpack, silently pleased at the delightful popping sound it makes when it opens. “Yeah, that weird power thing is nasty.”
“Speaking of power, would you ever call someone ‘daddy’ in bed?”
I nearly spit out my water and I feel some of it burn my nose. “Dude, what??”
Anthony laughs at the look on my face. “Hey, it’s a power thing! Some people are into that kind of kinky thing.”
“But why would you just ask me that?? Jesus, my water nearly came out my nose!”
“I don’t know, I was thinking about it because of what we were talking about earlier.”
“Why are you thinking about what I would call someone in bed though?” I ask, trying to will my face not to flush pink.
Anthony’s does, though, much to my surprise. “I don’t know, man, it just came into my head!”
He turns away before I can reply, and he goes to the other door, swinging it open.
“Oh no…”
“What?”
“You’re not gonna like this.” He calls over his shoulder as I approach him.
I peek around him (too short to see over his shoulder – not that I care about being shorter than Anthony, because I don’t!) to see that there is only one bed in the sleeping area.
“God damn it, Kiana!” I groan out loud, letting out a huff of air and running my hand through my hair as I step away from Anthony, feeling overwhelmed and flustered.
“I’ll sleep on the floor or something, I’m sure they can send up extra pillows to –”
“Wait, what?” I look back at Anthony, and he looks… upset, almost guilty?”
“I just – I assume you don’t want to share a bed, and this is probably my fault, so I –”
“Why is it your fault? And why would I care? We’ve been friends for ages, it’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before.” I’m sure my face has already defied me and is past the point of pink, likely beet red, but I choose to ignore the heat I feel on my cheeks.
“I mean… I guess, yeah, it’s not a big deal, it’s a pretty big bed, we can put pillows between us if you want.”
“I… what?”
“Well it’s just…” Anthony looks at the floor, his hand going to the back of his neck. “We haven’t… after I came out as bi, we never…”
“Oh.” Anthony came out as bi shortly after high school, and we hadn’t shared a bed since before then. “Dude, I don’t care, you know I’m bi too.”
“Yeah, I-I know, I just…”
“And what did you mean it’s probably your fault?” Definitely didn’t want to keep down that rabbit hole, so let’s go down another one. Great thinking, Ian…
“Oh, I…” Anthony continues to avoid my gaze, but he looks out the window this time. “I… was joking around with Alé about those ‘only one bed’ tropes and I told her if she puts us in a room with only one bed she’s fired.”
I burst out laughing, almost crying instantly. “Oh my God, dude, that’s hilarious!”
Anthony laughs nervously as I hold my gut, tears rolling down my face as I laugh harder than I had in weeks. “Yeah, aha… so uh, you’re not mad?”
“Mad?” I’m still chuckling, wiping my cheeks. “Why would I be mad? That’s fucking comedy gold, dude.”
Anthony still looks uncharacteristically nervous, so I put a hand on his arm. “You know what would be even funnier?”
He tilts his head at me silently.
“If we acted like it actually did something.”
Anthony’s face goes as red as mine felt earlier. “I… what?”
“Oh come on, man, it would be great. We can pretend like it revealed some sort of deep feelings for each other or something.”
In my own head, I’m screaming at myself, because why on earth would I want to pretend to be in love with the person I’m actually in love with as a joke? But for some reason, my mouth keeps going.
“We can be all cutesy and quiet like we’ve got some sort of secret to hide, and pretend that we had a big heart-to-heart like in a rom-com.”
He smiles, and I don’t notice right away but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Oh, yeah. Like a fanfiction.”
“Exactly!” I grin at him. “Like, ‘oh, Anthony, sharing this bed with you makes me want to cuddle you and kiss you, I’ve been in love with you for years’--”
“‘Oh, Ian!’” He starts, grabbing my waist and making my heart thump about a million beats per minute. “‘I’ve been in love with you for years too! Ever since you brought me that homework when I was sick, I knew you were something special to me!’”
I chuckle nervously. “Wow, that’s a deep cut.”
“Deep enough that you didn’t even remember that when I brought it up.”
“Hey, I can remember a lot of things.”
“Oh yeah?” Anthony still hasn’t let go of me, and I can feel his breath on my face as he teases me. “Like what?”
“I can remember when I fell in love with you.” The words slip out of my mouth before I can stop myself.
“Oh?” Anthony’s face gets closer, and his eyebrows are raised playfully.
“I…” I can’t get my words out properly. All I can focus on is how close Anthony’s face is to mine and how close his lips are to mine and how soft and –
Suddenly the distance is smaller, and by smaller I mean he’s kissing me.
I don’t even remember what we were talking about. I don’t remember anything. I can’t think about anything except the fact that Anthony is directly in front of me, and I have never wanted anything more than the man whose body is pressed against mine, whose shirt I have grasped like a life-raft, whose hand is still on my waist, thumb against my bare skin just under the hem of my shirt, whose other hand has found its home in my hair, holding me close, gripping me like I’m everything he ever wanted…
I never want to let go, but slowly he pulls off of my lips, and I can’t help the whine that escapes me.
“I’ve always wanted to do that for real.” Anthony murmurs, his forehead resting against mine.
I feel like I have no air in my lungs as I try to process what that means. “You– you wanted to…?”
“Kiss you? Yeah.” He chuckles. The hand that was in my hair drifts down my back, still holding me close. “For a very long time.”
“I…” I have no idea how to respond, and for a moment Anthony seems hesitant.
“Is that wrong? I just…” Anthony looks into my eyes, his own full of so many emotions I can’t pinpoint. “I wanted to know what it felt like. Outside of a sketch or whatever.”
“I mean, I… I wanted it too.” I admit. I’m trying to smile at him but I can’t feel my face enough to know if it’s working.
His eyes widen. “Really?”
“Yeah, I…” I hesitate. I don’t know if he’s just curious or… “I love you, Anthony.”
The smile that spreads across his face makes him look as radiant as the sun. “God, I love you too.”
He leans in and captures my lips for another kiss, and whatever anxieties I had about losing my best friend are melting away with the assurance that my best friend, the co-creator and co-owner of my company, my soulmate, my everything, loves me too.
–
Later that evening…
–
“We really are stupid, aren’t we?”
I look up at Anthony from where I’m snuggled into his chest, laying clothed on top of the bed after dinner and half-watching whatever was on the television. “Huh?”
“I mean, we’ve clearly been dancing around our feelings for each other for a long time. I was worried you would think I was creepy or something if I told you how I felt…”
“I thought that you had found out how I felt and that was the big reason why you left Smosh, because it freaked you out.” I admit softly.
Anthony’s arm tightens around my shoulders and he gives me a kiss on the head. “If I had known what we were both feeling behind all that tension and anger and shit, I don’t think I would have left. I feel like we can face anything together.”
“I mean, we always could. Friendship always wins, right?” I tease.
Anthony laughs, and he plants another kiss on my head. “We always win, my love.”
"Oh shoot-" She must have accidentally set them on fire. "Uh-" Sasha tried patting the pink fire out. She stopped her hands when it seemed to have gone out.
"Again, her magic beat through her as she concentrated on the plant, but this time the plant grew almost too big for its pot. Anne huffed at the sudden weight in her arms."
