⤷ ✧ @ve1ljumpers said, ❝ and if you dont think i miss you everyday - ❞
they work by lamplight — or perhaps its better to say that she works by lamplight while they carry on a conversation far too weighed down with undertones to be truly called idle. though he would rather hear of her, she sidesteps any mention of her assignments over the past months and instead draws from him tales from enterprise, of the people to whom she'll never speak again. she knows the big picture already, has tracked their missions, personnel changes, and the like, but it's a far cry from having a finger on the pulse of the ship's heartbeat. the day to day life of the ship was as closed to her as her life has been to him.
the statement is no louder than the rest of his words, yet it yanks her attention sharply from the work before her. shoulders stiffen, head lifts from the padd over which she had poured half her attention, and for the length of nine heartbeats ( she counts ) time seems to freeze. she drops her gaze. ❛ you weren't supposed to. ❜
the words, though barely audible, carry an apology. there was always going to be an adjustment, of course, though he was accustomed to brief interludes of her absence — weeks to a month, rarely longer, while she offered her assistance to starfleet intelligence. this needn't have been so very different, save that she would not be returning. there would be an adjustment, and then ship and crew and captain would settle into a new normal, one that did not include her.
or so she'd figured in all her calculations.