#crackahjack

[shitmysoberfriendssay]

Max: are you gonna vore me, jack?

Elvira: unhinge your jaw right now

David: anaconda that shit jack. It's not a matter of ability, it's a matter of will

Jack: [tired defeated sigh]

[shitmysoberfriendssay]

jack: you're my fancy lad

max: i think i just snorted a bug

[shitmysoberfriendssay]

Max: you’re giving me a look that looks more like you’re in pain more than in love.

Jack: sorry, that was supposed to be a smile.

[shitmysoberfriendssay]

Jack: I forgot how much of a chad you’ve been lately. So many people want you, this is some prime real estate right here.

Max[talking about his date]: Well there’s about to be an open house, so I’ll see you around.

Jack: I hate you.

Max: That was clever, bite me.

Jack: It was. Die.

[shitmysoberfriendssay]

My four favourite things are politics, shitty burgers, boobs, and you. In no particular order.

[shitmysoberfriendssay]

You’re so dissapointed in me you lost a chin

[shitmysoberfriendssay]

I love your ability to commit to dumb things and then trying not to

Jack describing his best friend, Max

[shitmysoberfriendssay]

God- I was straight at one point. It was awful

Don’t let that ever happen again, god.