Flower of Healing
The last thirteen years has been an unfolding and deeply healing process for me. From the very beginning, my osteopath's hands seemed drawn to a spot on the left side of my abdomen, where, once touched, responded like a flower to sunshine. So I kept going back, for years---and from this "flower", a mysterious energy flowed. It was like flowing light. It started out slow, but became continuous, like a fountain. With each treatment, the Light-energy increased, sending its spiraling, orbiting strands through my body. As these 'strands' moved through me, they opened up areas of tightness, density and pain, all the while releasing memories. It was like journeying through the labyrinth with all its twists and turns. The Light-strands continued to flow through me like tributaries into larger, watery tides which moved through and around my central axis. And it all seemed to 'stem' from a 'wound': an ectopic pregnancy in 1980, 20 years prior. An ectopic pregnancy will burst through the fallopian tube eventually, which mine did. Surgery soon followed to remove the mass, then ten years later, another one was performed in an effort to remove adhesions resulting from the first. Despite the second surgery, the spot remained a stubborn tangle of scars which eventually my osteopath was able to unravel--(or, as she put it, "melt"). As a result, this 'fount of Light-energy', released from it's 'nest', continued to orbit my body. It's forward-moving shape--which seemed to me round, like a moon, took almost twelve years to come to rest in my solar plexus where it now shines, a still-point in a calm sea. But its orbit brought many shifts and changes. Simply put, the greatest shift in my sense of self was a merging of "two halves" --a right and left half, as well as an "outer and inner" 'coming together'. This process, I have come to believe, has something to do with psychological integration, (another story in and of itself) and transformation.
Anyway, I knew something profound was going on when the process began, because my first treatment shifted something deep within me. I happened to be looking out the window at the time, and saw something that mirrored what was happening to me internally. There were clouds on the horizon, but they were beginning to break up with the setting of the sun. Just recently back from a treatment, I was admiring the sunset. I could 'feel' the clouds moving on the horizon, "freeing" the glowing, red sun, which shined brighter as the clouds dispersed. While this was happening, I could feel as well, the 'clouds' disperse in my abdomen, releasing my ovary ('sun') from its nest of scars. As a result, my 'inner sun' glowed brighter and brighter.
And so--- as I looked out the window that day-- I felt such profound gratitude for the healing that was occurring that I cried. Hope and Love flooded into me, warming me from head to toe. I realized then----that the love that I was feeling was the same love that moved the clouds in the sky, that made the sun shine ever brighter. I felt myself dissolve into this greater awareness where the memory of pain and loss receded. I became the sky---vast and eternal--- and the sky was me. Something immeasurably great was moving through me, changing the landscape of my body, and changing me, in a profound and fundamental way, connecting me with the entire cosmos, in a way that I have never known before.