#crashingout.?!?

[raenaetbh]

"she doesnt deserve to even be called rae, shes not the sun; shes a black hole" oh! ok???

[raenaetbh]

￣ー￣)ﾉ

its no secret

my stomach has always troubled me

as i lie in the place where you used to coddle me

my stomach turning and pulling

i wish for your hand

reminiscing on how as soon as i mentioned

the slightest discomfort with my stomach

your hand would rest on top of it

the warmth of it making it settle gently

and when i think about how thats gone

and i have this cold room to comfort my aching stomach

and my sobs that accompany it

[raenaetbh]

oh how i wish i never connected my soul with you so i didnt have to feel you all the time like fuck get back stop posessing me with the fact you missme INDONTWQNNAMISSYOU!¡!!!!!111!+!!1

[raenaetbh]

•̩̩̩̩ᯅ•̩̩̩

“what did he do?”

and i wanna say it

he doesnt deserve to get nothing back

but for some reason

it makes me feel more disgusted

and frowned upon

for just experiencing it

i have an unnerving urge

to rip and scratch, cut

where he tainted my body

but then i realize that its not just on the surface

where i can just take it off

but inside

where i cant reach

and where my body feels the most knotted in

tangled with my heavy heart that hangs

wanting to detach itself from this body

for honestly this body no longer

feels like it could have ever been mine

or if it was,

it no longer feels like mine

something i thought was

forever mine

was so easily took

even if i have it in physical form

i can never stop my heart

from trying to escape from

the twists and turns that you have -

planted in my organs -

and you cant even tend to the garden you started -

-

whatever

your garden came with pesticides anyway

[raenaetbh]

CRASHING OUTTTEJEITBNTNGJFUWBGN

“its hard to do things when youre actively discouraging.”

“actively discouraging?”

“yeah i mean like…when you say its a low chance if i come back from a call with someone else with energy to play with you too…is it necessary?”

“is it untrue?”

HANG UP BUTTON. IM SORRY THAT OTHER PEOPLE GENERALLY DRAIN MY ENERGY AND WHENEVER I COME BACK YOU NEVER MAKE IT BETTER OR TRYYYY AUGSHSBEBZH Grrr.

[raenaetbh]

bitch watch your tone while youre speaking to me why are you getting loud over me not telling you wtf IIII got goin on, i told you about plans anyway so you cant EVEN be mad at me to the point when you just shut down the conversation completely UGH why UGH

[raenaetbh]

it is not that i said

yes

or

no

it is that you decided

to put me in a position to answer

something ive answered

by saying that

no matter what my answer will be biased

to what you want

not me

i want to make you happy

even when it hurts

even when i expressed that youve done it again, you just got mad at me

even though before you said

that nothing of the sort would ever happen.

[raenaetbh]

we just got done having an argument and youre ASKING me rudely if were going to play as if that would make me want to, i wanted to play before, i was still going to play after the argument, but you just had to make me tell you no deal to your utter disrespect lately.

(hoe is literally never not disrespectful or just mean unless hes talking abt getting in my pants ! ) (kms)