#crayfishocdssss

[lifecrayfish]

i wanna hyperfixate on my hobbies but my brain keeps saying it's bad and wrong. Idk what to do anymore

[lifecrayfish]

Aw man, kept ruminating on whether to go for a walk or not and now it's raining

[lifecrayfish]

I feel like I don't even like my hobbies anymore

I am just doing them and showing them off in hope that someone shows up and teaches me how to love them again

[lifecrayfish]

When writing about OCD, know two main things :

obsessions : intrusive (not impulsive) thoughts, feelings, situations that cause anxiety. (They can gang up on you)

Note: impulsive thoughts are ones that don't align with your beliefs or of terrible things that could happen

Compulsions : actions -physical and mental- that you are compelled to do to lessen anxiety.

. Examples include but are not limited : reassurance seeking (to ask people or even within yourself to make sure what u fear (that you're not a bad person, that this one thing is not true) is not true or won't happen.

Ruminating : thinking and thinking, trying to make sense of situations and especially find certainty in uncertain situations

Confessions

Oversharing

Overcleaning

Doing things a certain way (blinking, changing the way you sit, making things like the same both ways-forgot the word)

(unfortunately it is temporary and enforces the obsession compulsion cycle.)

We folks with ocd are rigid enough to be a great template lol.

Honestly , u can make a person be this type to make they stuff color coded and stuff(like those "i am so ocd" vids) granted that you need to give them an understandable reason . When giving them a compulsion, don't ask yourself what they would do, they could do anything honestly, it could be socially acceptable, it could be something ridiculous.

The real question(s) would be :why this action ? And what would their reactions and thoughts be if they didn't do the action for one reason or another?

⟡ Hey this person likes their pens and pencils on this specific side. Okay simple

Why ? Because they want it to be close convenient

Because they feel if they don't make it close and convenient all their academic efforts are in vain, their routine will be destroyed, they won't like studying anymore.

Sometimes we do a compulsion for so long we just straight forget why.

When we stop : we feel anxious. Like a feeling is wrong. Thoughts will intensify, physical symptoms will start.

Note : You should research groinal responses, they were an eye opener for me (not going to explain them, cus i am too uncomfy lol)

treatment : aside from medication, ERP

What is ERP ?

You expose urself to your obsession

You try resisting your compulsion as long as possible (usually until the anxiety passes. But not everytime)

Simple but H a r d.

Note : we are still people that exist, we can have other disorders. But many of our actions can and will be influenced by it

There is a reason i only use four pointed stars

[lifecrayfish]

i am so sad

I said i was going to lock in, but i got scared and now all i want is to go to bed

[lifecrayfish]

everything is dirty

Everything is bad, everything will remind me nad I don't want that but i can't stop posting stuff

[lifecrayfish]

Just in case

Yo tumblr mods, I am not spamming, I was just done with my uni exams. I am just riding the "yay, we're done !" high before the "oh no, they showed the results." down hits.

These are rare times for my OCD self, i gotta use the opportunity.