So I have this issue with writing characters, and IDK if it's just me not knowing how other people think but like. . .
Does anybody else write a scene with dialogue but without the the characters in mind, then when you want to assign which character says which, *you just don't know ? *Like everyone can say that, based on context.
Here, I'll provide examples :
Scene 1 : two men find their long lost nephew, beaten and unconscious , scene in hospital, the pediatric doctor has just informed them that their nephew has scars and defensive injuries that vary with age. (He disappeared when he was 8, a year after, a person's house burned down, and they received the news that their nephew's dna was found inside that house. Now they find him at 15)
Characters : (idk how to put personalities in one word)
Michihiro : school teacher, 50, gentle and understanding, patient in his approach to things, after all, he's not only a teacher but also the oldest of his siblings and feels like the overly passive -not pacifist- way he took before -to try to run from taking the family business- has created an impossible rift between him and his siblings (Masaki's his twin)
Masaki :colonel, 50, firm and straight in his approach to things, as one in the military (jsdf) would i guess. (I can't pinpoint how i want him to be, definitely a skeptic, like, he approaches situation with a "logical manner" but often neglects the emotional side of things.
The actual scene : (enough yapping)
| by then, michihiro has already spoken with his nephew while masaki waited outside (he found him, called his twin cus he knows he's terrible with talking ) key takeaways : he's shy, well articulated, there's a thin scar across his face. |
(michihiro said this, would masaki jump to ask quickly like this or would he just stay silent ? Like, it could work out for him too, since he's a colonel, it's a leadership position, so he could theoretically quickly ask too with such urgency , no ?)
"yes, is there something wrong ?" masaki got up immediately, the doctor hesitated before he spoke, tone serious "i would like to talk to you about what we have discovered"
They stood silently for a moment after the doctor has left, struggling to digest the info that has been given to them
Michihiro sighed for a long while as he leaned to the wall, his head felt burdened
Masaki stood with his arms crossed, shaking his head as he finally broke the silence "it was obvious, we should've known It was that bad."
Michihiro frowned as he looked at his brother and asked : "what do you mean ?" (**This is me trying to create conflict. But wouldn't michihiro already understand this point ? He saw the way the boy panicked when he woke up and how scared he was of being in the hospital, i am thinking i change it so michihiro would nod in aggreement only to get off guard by the diabolical slander his brother is about to spew) **
"I found him hidden in a back alley, michihiro. He was probably in a fight." (Would masaki slander his own nephew like that ? Or maybe he just says it as a logical statement that michihiro takes offense to ? )
"What are you even talking about." (Would michihiro ask in such an angry way ? )
"We do not know how he has been living--"
"-But u cannot make such assumptions so easily about him--Lets just!- not talk about it, okay ? It's not the time. " (Ughhhh so disconnected , i wanted gim to cut eachother off more. I was thinking "let's jus...." Would go to masaki who quickly tries to turn off the conflict. But it could work for michihiro too ? )
before he sighed once again and asked '"So what now ?" (Both could ask, I don't know who should)
"Maybe I should introduce myself to him ?" (Would masaki offer ? Or would michihiro push him to introduce himself, since he doesn't like the way masaki is trying to be away from the nephew ?)
The whole scene feels out of place, it all feels wrong, y'know. Ahhhhh, character-personality-highlighting dialogue, my weakness !
