#crazy relatives

[glowing-disciple]

Whenever I feel like things are going badly and my life is in shambles, I just catch up on what my family has been up to lately.

Suddenly I feel a lot better.

[the-nimrod-nextdoor]

[exitdose]

My ✨fairy godfather✨ randomly came over today, told me he nearly ran someone over on his way to a gig (he’s in a rock band) and he just played the bass with 2 dislocated fingers, then crashed the car into a barrel on his way home???

[lalalipuyofgulg]

Ameren sends a flier every month to "give" me a smart thermostat for "free".

We got our first computer in the late 1980s from my grandpa, an engineer for the military industrial complex. (That company got bought out by Boeing after he died).

He was a super big weirdo. Definitely would have been diagnosed with autism if he was alive today. (Like all of his grandkids)

Once I saw a friend of my uncle's ask him about the moon landing being fake and he laughed his ass off.

"no no no. That technology is real but the moon landing wasn't really the point. That was just to get funding."

Anyway. He was well known to be an abusive maniac, but his paranoias about the true purpose of the space program were maybe not unfounded? After all, we are all carrying surveillance devices in our pockets 24/7.

He sucked though, not gonna lie. But a broken clock is right twice a day..... So....?

I can't say that to my parents about him being right, though. They totally hate him even though he has been dead for 30 years.

He deserves their hatred. He was a real piece of crap. (No wonder the boomers are so fucked up).

[360degreesasthecrowflies]

Folks I am torn between amusement & exasperation

My mother made me do a personality test to see what kind of job I should have - the intent in her head, to prove a point that I'm in the wrong career.

Well, I did, and it said I should be doing... exactly what I currently work in.

Her response? Predictably: that I must have done it wrong! Also that my result was 'scary'! and that I need to change aspects of myself.

For what, mum?? So I can try and get a lower paid job that suits the me you have in your head and not the real one?

For the record it was literally a Myers Briggs too!

[uss-bigsurprise]

most of us probably have at least one (1) cool/crazy relative and let me tell you a thing about one of mine that pretty much sums up every interaction i ever had with them

so, my godfather, whom i see once a year, sat at our dining table on my brother's birthday playing dino-stacking with like-minded aunts and uncles, and — i swear to god — with the most content and cheerful expression ever, declared: "violence doesn't help? more violence." he then proceeded to slam a plastic t-rex on a stegosaurus.

this memory has carved itself into my brain. i cannot unthink it. every time i have to use slightly more force to do something i think to myself "violence doesn't help? more violence" in the e x a c t same way he said it and i think i'm going crazy

[namemeagainivebeenlost]

Jfc guys...

My family is just... guys I hate Texas.

My sister has decided that they’re now going to get Jesus a “birthday cake” every year and sing Jesus happy birthday. Then save a piece of the cake for Jesus and leave it out at night. In the morning the kids will get up and the piece of cake will be eaten.

My sister is making Jesus into Santa Clause and I just.

They’re also saying that dinosaurs aren’t as old as science says and that there are human bones from the same time as dinosaurs and I just.

This state, this fucking state. I can’t even say anything.

[someenchantedcentury]

Cousin Butch and family.

1950s