neirtome replied to your post “I’m working on one of my two pieces (called Love is the Reckoning)....”
Everything you've said here is really relatable, and so humbling. Explaining who you are when you're using almost a different language is so awkward to bridge, and to write, because definitions almost certainly change per person. Writing it one way doesn't make a template we can reuse the next time a character comes out in a similar way (or even with identical terms)! Thanks for sharing this, because I have definitely experienced this as well. :)
Your words made my day. Or, more correctly, they made my yesterday, since I didn’t get all my responding done yesterday! Thank you, thank you so very much. Thank you.
But oh, yes! Identity, and the needs and language and experiences that surround it, are so individualised. There really isn’t a template, just some blundering in the dark, and we’re all trying to figure out how to say what needs saying within the constraints of characterisation and narrative, while knowing that much of the audience isn’t accustomed to this language.
(This is why writing just for aros is so fun--I’ve still got that short story I need to post. There’s no explanation of what things are; I’ll post it here just for folks already speaking the language. It was so enjoyable to write for this reason!)
There’s so little conversation on being aro-spec to begin with, so talking about what it feels and means to tell stories as an aro-spec is just this silence. Even if I’m rambling at you all, I like to break it every so often, to talk about the things that make me hesitate or struggle. We’re all out here building worlds out of dreams; I think it’s important to talk about the unexpected things that make it hard. Because we’re told to just go and make the representation we want to see, as though it’s simply a matter of throwing in an aro-spec character, but it can’t be. Being aro-spec (or anything else) shapes what and how we make.
The creators I want to be when I’m grown up and professional are the ones who were raw and honest and real in how they spoke to me about their art. So I want this blog to be this space. Not a collection of shiny finished pieces that look glossy and pretty. Creators getting together and showing off the scribbles and the fears and the insecurities and the revelations and the challenges. Showing off our work to an audience is important, but having somewhere to be expressive about being creative is just as important to me.