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I've reached this infuriating state of mind where I am feeling motivated to write again, but there's this vile little gremlin of an inner voice that goes, "Nah, you've waited too long. No one gives a shit anymore and even if they did you've shown yourself to be untrustworthy with follow-through."
I'm seriously considering smashing my laptop and just running of into a forest and live there. Mmmm indesign, what a nice program... Nothing works the way you'd expect it to work
neirtome replied to your post “I’m working on one of my two pieces (called Love is the Reckoning)....”
Everything you've said here is really relatable, and so humbling. Explaining who you are when you're using almost a different language is so awkward to bridge, and to write, because definitions almost certainly change per person. Writing it one way doesn't make a template we can reuse the next time a character comes out in a similar way (or even with identical terms)! Thanks for sharing this, because I have definitely experienced this as well. :)
Your words made my day. Or, more correctly, they made my yesterday, since I didn’t get all my responding done yesterday! Thank you, thank you so very much. Thank you.
But oh, yes! Identity, and the needs and language and experiences that surround it, are so individualised. There really isn’t a template, just some blundering in the dark, and we’re all trying to figure out how to say what needs saying within the constraints of characterisation and narrative, while knowing that much of the audience isn’t accustomed to this language.
(This is why writing just for aros is so fun--I’ve still got that short story I need to post. There’s no explanation of what things are; I’ll post it here just for folks already speaking the language. It was so enjoyable to write for this reason!)
There’s so little conversation on being aro-spec to begin with, so talking about what it feels and means to tell stories as an aro-spec is just this silence. Even if I’m rambling at you all, I like to break it every so often, to talk about the things that make me hesitate or struggle. We’re all out here building worlds out of dreams; I think it’s important to talk about the unexpected things that make it hard. Because we’re told to just go and make the representation we want to see, as though it’s simply a matter of throwing in an aro-spec character, but it can’t be. Being aro-spec (or anything else) shapes what and how we make.
The creators I want to be when I’m grown up and professional are the ones who were raw and honest and real in how they spoke to me about their art. So I want this blog to be this space. Not a collection of shiny finished pieces that look glossy and pretty. Creators getting together and showing off the scribbles and the fears and the insecurities and the revelations and the challenges. Showing off our work to an audience is important, but having somewhere to be expressive about being creative is just as important to me.
That moment when you have a scene and a half in your head, but you're at work and can't sit down to write, and you'll be home in some ten hours, exhausted and...
Creative frustrations
I’ve been trying to do new things with my cards. I’ve been playing with heat embossing, I’ve been trying new styles of writing, I’ve been trying new ways to create backgrounds...
While everything seems to be ok, I just don’t feel like they are good enough to be added to my shop. I know I definitely need more work and practice before I create something that I feel is worth selling.
I’d love to expand my products, add new things, change the line up.. but I just feel so inadequate. It’s definitely frustrating..
To see the items currently in my shop, please visit CutieQ Cards n Crafts.
My world is slightly askew
My world is slightly askew
I had to Google “askew” because my brain kept telling me it’s pretty sure there’s an i in there somewhere, to which I (and Google) called bullshit. Joke’s on you, brain. Today is an appropriately dreary day, as I just got back from vacation in the Outer Banks yesterday and my impending return to business-as-usual tomorrow has me feeling gloomy and out-of-sorts. It’s like waking up to discover…
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Creative Frustration #01: Things that irritate artists.
If you ask me what I charge for a particular service or product, before you even ask to see my work, to determine if you even need or would want my brand or work attached to your name, is a “key sign” that you are probably not my customer or future client.
Some people are so busy trying to cut corners, yet exploit the works of others, to the point that the only thing that matters is, “How cheap can I get this service done for?”
This is one of the things that pisses me off as an artist. This is just one of the many “Creative Frustrations” that I have to deal with. Stay tuned, there are many more to share.
Concept envy, and feeling defeated
Concept envy, and feeling defeated
This is the sort of confessional post that I feel iffy about writing, because it betrays my well-established gruff and grumbly persona and exposes my soft, vulnerable under-belly. All right. Let’s get this out of the way so I can get some actual sleep tonight, and then maybe try to see where my brain goes with writing tomorrow. Lately, and by lately I mean for quite a few months now, I have felt…
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