#creative urges

[garethschweitzer]

Mark T Vanover- Graphic impulses: drawing, sexuality and science in Germany 1870 to 1933

https://escholarship.org/uc/item/9vc230zs

[schoengeist-academy]

Urgency? No.

Urge'n'see

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

I want to get into making YouTube videos again.... Talking myself into it -- or out of it.

I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of Leftist YouTube.  It’s got some really good, creative, stuff going on -- certainly more creative and varied and thoughtful than the Right (Seriously, did Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson decide to share a single voice between them? It’s so-o creepy).

But, as with Leftist spaces in 3-D space, it’s almost empty of Disabled voices, and a lot of the rhetoric is horribly ableist: abortion rights activists who frame disabled children as nothing but burdens to their parents and society, anti-war activists and their hostility toward soldiers -- including those who return home with serious cognitive and physical disabilities, and seemingly everybody $#i++ing on the elderly -- lumping them all in with Conservative Voters[TM].... Not to mention the whole Plastic Straw and pre-peeled Oranges discourse from the Environmentalists.

And as for Disabled YouTube (quite a few of whom I subscribe to, and they’re very good)... Most of those are still on the “Explaining our Lives To the Able People” track -- stuff YouTube’s algorithm is likely to sort into “lifestyle” bin. If politics shows up its likely, to be an aside.

So as a Disabled Leftie (even my body leans heavily toward the left), I see a place where I have something valuable to add...

And here comes the “But”...

I haven’t made a video in five years.  I gave up on it because I couldn’t seem to keep headphones or a mic. without utterly destroying them several times in a year (I tend to drop things, and when they’re on the floor, there’s a good chance I’ll run over them in my motorized wheelchair, in an attempt to pick them up again).

And YouTube has changed in the years since I was putting stuff up.  I’d opt out of monetization (Because getting paid for anything can put my SSDI on shaky ground), and I don’t want advertisements on my videos (I’m afraid that if they get recognized as being about disability, they’d attract advertisers for supposed cures or medical treatments, and that could be triggering or manipulative, especially if someone is newly disabled, and/or newly diagnosed).

And the app I used to create my videos -- Windows Movie Maker (Yeah, I was low-tech) -- has been discontinued. So on top of buying a new microphone and headset, I’d have to buy a new video editing program.  I can’t just do this casually, first, and see how it feels -- I’d have to make Decisions and a Commitment. And that’s causing Anxiety.

But #2:

My Mother always told me:

Do What You See Needs to Be Done.

And I see something that needs to be done, which I’ve outlined above. And there’s also the Jewish philosophy of Tikkun Olam. 

So.

But there is still all that Anxiety. Argh!

[crowbeary]

I have an urge.

I want to write about some enbies saving the world because the villian got a genie wish or something and they were like “No man or woman will ever be able to kill me.” and the genie, being a mythical being is like ‘Human genders make no sense.’ but they see an opportunity and seize it. I’m not original but I have an urge.

[gamercat-]

Having a creative burst / flow is like having a craving for something over a week... Excepts it 2am and it's stopping you from going to sleep because all you want to do is build a massive wood sculpture or painting most amazing painting and this urge to create just doesn't leave -.-

[rustykilledred]

I only use tumblr on my phone. Which, during the school year, was smart. I already has enough distractions on my laptop while trying to write a gazillion research papers. But now that I've graduated, I feel creative again, and I want tumblr in my laptop so that I can do all the fun creative things and post them. Then I think it may not be too smart to have tumblr on my laptop when I'm still job hunting and researching graduate programs.

[stargasm]

I wish food wasn't so expensive. 

It's a rainy, blissful, lazy day and all I want to do is bake.

But ingredients are expensive especially because I wanna bake them from scratch.

My mom would be all for me baking but she'd just get a box of cake mix and a some pre-made frosting.

I just really have the urge to create my own cupcakes today.

[pixelwixard]

My latest creative urge?

To become a tabletop game designer. Probably card games, though perhaps board or dice games. Maybe I should study some game theory and design.