#crimeman

[jim-the-trash-king]

You’ve all heard of Crime Man, now get ready for Doctor Warcrime. He’s a bit more than extra.

[teffiebell]

The Crypto Preacher is a minor boss in the Crimeman universe.

[transwitchofthewilds]

Moth Man vs Crime Man is coming out soon. Are you team Moth Man or team Crime Man?

[weirdkev27]

Crime Man in: Unbirth of a Nation

Crime Man: Sorry I’m late, Chief. Their was bank robbery, luckily I committed it first.

Chief: Good work, Crime Man. But their are more pressing matters at hand. The President of the United States is coming to town and we got word a group of criminals are planning something big.

Crime Man: So they’re going to rob the President! Don’t worry Chief, I’ll be sure to rob him first!

Chief: No, Crime Man, They aren’t planning to rob him, they’re planning to shoot him!

Crime Man: Planning to shoo...Whoa what?!

Chief: That’s right, Crime Man! They’re going to assassination the president and we need you to out crime those criminals!

Crime Man:....I’m sorry, Chief, did you just tell me out crime an assassination?

Chief: That’s Right, Crime Man, and only you can pull it off!

Crime Man: Right, but that means I...would have to...assassinate...The president.

Chief: Exactly, Crime Man!

Crime Man: DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK?! I can’t assassinate the President!!

Chief: But Crime Man, you have to out crime the criminals!

Crime Man: Yeah but when I said that, I was thinking more along robbing banks and carjacking getaway cars, This is assassinating the fucking president of the fucking US!

Chief: But Crime Man, if you don’t assassinate the president, the Criminals will! And you can’t let criminals commit the crimes first. Can you?

Crime Man: Ummmmmm.....

--Later--

Crime Man: *holding a smoking rifle. A wide eyed stare across his face.*

Assassins: *getting stuffed in the back of the paddy wagon* CURSE YOU, CRIME MAN! YOU MAY OF OUT-CRIMED US IN ASSASSINATING THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, BUT MARK MY WORKS, YOU WON’T OUT-CRIME THE NEXT ASSASSINATION!

Crime Man: *says nothing as the President’s body is rolled by him and stuffed in the back of the ambulance. The ambulance’s sirens blares as it drives off.*

[bouquet-of-scissors]

Kiss yourself goodnight, cause there's a killer and he’s coming after you.

Crimeman Mr.Knight