#cringe romance

[thelandswemadeofpaper]

I don’t think the queer community can even complain properly about bad representation of gay/lesbians in Booktok because the heterossexual representation is equally awful

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Yes I wanna read the romance essay please. The long one please

I lost the long one?? This is so sad and tragic. Have the relatively shorter one that got added to the school magazine without me asking to because it was so gdjsjhfdahdjsjf *screams* anyway:

Prompt: Incorporate a song into an essay (eh close enough)

All I Ask of You Reprise when I was in my poto phase

I gave you my music.

Intriguing. You fit that description in every sense of the word. You exuded calm, confidence, grace, mystery, and everything in between. To put it simply. you were an enigma, one that beckoned me to solve it. Everything you did was fascinating in some way. To most, you were merely another person they’d walk by down the school halls, merely another face in the crowd. To me though, you were a mystery I grew more and more desperate to solve.

I found myself watching you every day. Not in a creepy way, no- I hoped- but leaning more to observing-your-every-move. Looking back I wince - that did sound creepy. Rest assured, my intentions were pure. I just wanted to know you. That left one question: how does one get to know someone else?

Talk to them? Yikes, that sounded like an awful plan. Who in their right mind would talk to some-

Made your song take wing.

Oh look, someone's talking to you right now. You turned to look at them and you…smiled. Never have l seen something so simple yet so breathtaking. Something foreign seemed to bubble in my chest but l couldn’t quite place my finger on it.

“I’ll deal with it later", I absent-mindedy thought as that enchanting smile graced your lips. The foreign feeling was tugging at my chest harder than before but once again, I ignored it. How could I think of anything else when you were standing right before me?

My mind was in a frenzy but one thing I barely managed to pick out within the mess was “ I wish l could make you smile too.” A wistful sigh escaped my lips as-

Wait, what?

And now, how you’ve repaid me:

Confusion decided to settle in my mind. You were only my mystery, were you not? Alll wanted to do was find an answer. Then why, why were you plaguing my mind so? Why did random thoughts of your smile, your laugh, of you start to invade as l was left with no escape? Why…

Suddenly the realization hit me like a bullet train.

“Do I love you?" a whispered question flew from my mouth, a question asked to no one but the wind itself - perhaps one even directed at me.

That was when I resolved to do one thing: try and talk to you.

Just a simple "hi” would suffice. Even if we only went as far as acquaintances, I wanted to hear your voice speaking to me for once.

After that, everything was a blur.

Denied me and betrayed me.

I managed to squeeze out coherent sentences the first time we properly met. Guess what? We became friends. Within weeks, we were best friends

Amazing how things changed so quickly.

I never told you how I felt, of course. What do you take me for? I’m not that insane. I’ve already made the mistake of loving you, after all.

He was bound to love you.

You liked someone else, and well, he liked you back. I wasn’t mad at you; I had absolutely no right to be, but you changed. It was subtle at first but slowly and slowly, I realized. You were more detached and aloof, drifting further and further away from my reach. Gone was the warmth you once reserved for me - and it hurt. It hurt so much when your demeanour towards me changed so abruptly.

The first teardrop fell. I couldnt stop it, nor did I want to. My room was a safe haven where I let myself hurt, where I can rip off that tiring façade of feigned confidence and fake bravery - where I let myself be me.

So, the tears fell, and they did not cease to fall.

When he heard you sing.

Don’t you remember our promise? I do.

As cherry blossoms surrounded us - a touch bit dramatic, don't you think? - we vowed never to leave eaćh other. It was a cliche but we were the best of friends after all.

Right?

Well, I thought so. Did you? Did you ever care about me even a fraction of how I cared about you - or was I just another insignificant part of your life? Might I have only been a distraction to you? Merely used to get through the school years, then what? Get thrown away? Get left alone again? Did all our years of friendship really mean rnothing to you

You promised, but…you left.

Amazing how things changed so quickly.